Once... and Forever Ch 8 Sobbing Nuns and Scalded Cats

Sunlight filtered through thin floral curtains, and hit Emma square on her eyelids. She grumbled and turned over, snuggling deeper into Gold's shoulder. He still slept, and she was not ready to leave the warmth of his embrace to put her feet onto the cold floor, and then have to go out into the bone chilling morning air to go to work. What time was it anyway? Sighing she glanced back at the alarm clock on the nightstand. Only six thirty. She could drowse a few more minutes, so she nestled back against his side, resting her hand in the center of his chest, and breathed a contented sigh.

"Good morning," he murmured to her, his eyes still closed, fondly brushing his fingertips up her bare back. She shivered a little.

"Morning," she replied, scrunching her own fingertips against his lean chest.

"How'd you sleep?" he asked softly, not wanting to break the euphoric spell that seemed to have been cast over them.

"Like a log. Not one dream all night," she said, so glad for that. "I didn't wake up once," she said happily. He smiled.

"Good. So I suppose the cure was sleeping with me then?" he asked teasingly.

"Do you mean sleeping, as in sleeping, or sleeping as in the epic sex?" she asked, and he smirked and opened his eyes. Her's were open now as well. He grinned.

"Both." he said, and then made a face. "Epic?" he asked, and she nodded.

"I don't think I'm going to be able to walk. I may call in sick and just stay right here all day," she replied. "Jefferson can handle things for one day," she reasoned, and he chuckled.

"Wonderful as that would be, I have a meeting with a client today, so I must get up in a bit," he said dolefully, wishing he could stay right there and hold her all day and night. She felt so good in his arms. So perfect.

"I know, and I gotta go in too, but it was a nice thought," she said dreamily.

"Very nice thought," he agreed. "So, that was a lot for a 'second' date," he said, and she giggled.

"Well, it was a little surprising. But in a good way," she assured him.

"No regrets then?" he asked, hoping she felt the same as he. That there would never be a reason to regret what had passed between them.

"No, never," she vowed. "I wanted this Gold, just as much if not more than you did," she said running her hands over his chest. He sighed.

" That's a lot then," he chuckled, then sobered a bit. "Emma, all that I said to you, I want you to know that I meant ever word. You are mine," he told her with a finality that made her quiver.

"I meant what I said too. I want to be yours. I like the thought that someone wants me that much," she said, and he smiled.

"Someone wants you very much," he replied, and she lifted her face to his. He pulled her against him, sweeping her lips with his tongue. She parted them for him kissing him back greedily. After a few moments, she could feel him stirring to life against her thigh. Grinning, she pulled back, straddling him fully.

"Emma, don't you have to be getting ready for work soon?" he asked, then groaned as she rolled her hips against him.

"Soon, but not right at this moment.," she replied flirtatiously. "Do I need to convince you?" she asked, arching her back, and moaning as he brought his hands around to cup her breasts.

"Not necessary love," he purred, molding them to fit his hands. She sighed, tilting her head back, her hair spilling down her back like a golden waterfall. He looked at her in awe. "So beautiful," he uttered, and she looked down at him.

"Flattering me to get in my pants eh?" she teased him. He smiled, and raked his thumbs across her nipples..

"Of course not. How could I be trying to get into your pants, when you don't seem to be wearing any at the moment?" he mused, one of his hands sliding down over her stomach, settling on her thighs, before darting between her legs to stroke over her center, one of his fingers delving inside just enough to make her want more.

"Gold," she whimpered. " I want to touch you, I didn't really get to last night," she panted. He nodded.

"Feel free to touch anything you like dearie," he said. "But I won't be stopping until you find release at least three times," he informed her. "Once, like this," he moved his fingers, making her whimper. "Once like this," he said pulling her a bit closer so he could drag his tongue across her breasts, stopping to pay some attention to them. "And once," he stopped and to accentuate his point, thrust his hips upward, and she cried out again. "Perhaps more than once," he growled.

"Oh God," she said, her eyes closed. "Are you trying to kill me?" she asked him, and he grinned.

"Never!" he vowed playfully. "Arouse you into insanity perhaps," he quipped.

"I think I may be insanely aroused already," she breathed as he moved his fingers again.

"Oh, no love, not even close," he said darkly, and sat up so that he could claim her lips with his, while sliding his fingers deeper inside her. He continued to kiss her, and tease at her excited flesh, as she strained against his fingers for release.

Emma moaned and moved against his touch, yearning for him to bring her to paradise once again, which he did. She kissed him back heatedly, one hand in his hair, then other wondering down to encircle him. He hissed and drew back from her lips to take a breath.

"Emma," he groaned.

"You said I could," she reminded him breathlessly, loving the feel of him.

"Yes," he sighed, his voice tight, and his eyes drifting closed in pleasure. She moved her hand up and then down his shaft He sought her mouth again and they settled into the rhythm of her moving against his fingers, him thrusting into her hand for several minutes, until he halted her movements.

"Emma love, if you don't stop I'm going to," he began, and she pushed him back onto his back.

"I think that's the idea here Einstein," she teased, and before he could protest she smirked evilly, then slithered down his body and took him into her mouth. His eyes rolled up in his head, and he grunted.

"Gods Emma love," he uttered, as yet another of his fantasies came true. Emma's lips curved into a smile around him, and just watching his face as she pleasured him made her aroused. And it aroused her even more as she brought him to edge, and pulled him over. Never had she seen him so unrestrained. His usual cool and collected demeanor lost in the feelings she was invoking in him She sat up, smiling at his dazed expression. After a moment he reached for her. She moved back up his prone form, and he seized her gently by the waist pulling her up farther.

"What are you doing?" she asked, as he pulled her up to sit her on his chest, before gazing up at her.

"I believed we had an agreement my dear," he said wickedly, and drug her forward, settling her before his waiting lips.

"Oh damn," she breathed, and he set to work making good on his statement from earlier, returning the favor she'd bestowed on him, and pleasing her with his mouth. She gripped the headboard, crying out his name. God, the man's tongue should be illegal, she thought, as he plunged it deep inside her before dragging it upward, circling it around the tight bundle of nerves, before drawing it between his lips. Emma threw back her head and yelled, her body arching against him as he brought her to completion again, and then again, until at last she collapsed beside him, gasping for breath, her whole body humming. Her legs felt like rubber, and ached slightly from their escapades the night before. She'd never be able to walk to work today. She'd be lucky to make it home.

Emma lay in a stupor for several minutes until the stars ceased to dance before her eyes. She glanced over at Gold who lay there, self-satisfied smile on his face. And even after what he'd just done for her, she wanted him again. What was wrong with her? She was turning into a total nympho!

"What's the matter love?" he asked, turning onto his side to face. She sighed.

"Not one frigging thing," she breathed, and he smirked, and reached out to take her hand, bringing it to his lips and kissing it tenderly. She shifted closer and rested her head on his shoulder, as he took her in his arms and held her against him.

He'd feared he'd awaken this morning to find her gone. He'd also feared that he'd been something she needed to get out of her system, but as had become the trend, he'd been mistaken. She was there still, and she seemed to want him even more than she had the previous night. He smiled at that. He thought he must want her more as well. Now that he'd felt what could happen between them he doubted he'd ever get enough.

Emma sighed, she knew that they had work to get to, but she'd savor this as long as she could. She wondered if the girl at the desk was sufficiently afraid enough of Gold not to tell anyone that they'd been there for a tryst. Not that she cared. She didn't care what anyone said about them being together. She wanted to let the world know about them.

Gold dragged his fingertips up her back again. Her eyes drifted closed and a soft moan escaped her. He smirked, enjoying the thrill of finding new places to touch her that drove her crazy. With a chuckle he tugged her atop him once more.

"Feel like a morning ride dearie?" he asked with a smile, and she grinned.

"Oh yeah, do you?" she replied eagerly, leaning to look into his eyes. They sparkled with mischief.

"I'm a willing steed at you command love," he quipped, and she crashed her lips to his. He wrapped her in his arms, reveling in the feel of her silken skin under his hands. She moved against him wantonly, breaths ragged, and broke the kiss, lowering her lips instead to the crook of his neck. Nipping lightly, she smiled when he emitted a low groan.

"That's right. Let me hear it," she demanded low in his ear, then sank her teeth into his neck, just hard enough to leave a mark as he'd done to her. He moaned louder, and called her name huskily.

Gold reached down and took hold of her hips settling her into place against his. She shifted a little so that their bodies fit together, and he tugged her downward. She moved as well, impaling herself on him.

"Oh damn!" she cried biting her bottom lip in pleasure, as his hips bucked up beneath her, moving deep.

"Emma!" he moaned. Emma leaned over him.

"Kiss me, kiss me and never stop," she breathed, needing something to anchor her. He pushed himself up to an almost sitting position, and drug her face to his, and did her bidding, their mouths mimicking the actions of their bodies as they twined together. Although, it was only a few moments it seemed like they kissed for hours, as their bodies strained together to reach the peak. Finally they were both there, and Emma felt as if she were falling, just like in her dream. Floating in slow motion towards the ground, but then, she felt Gold's arms around her, and felt his lips on hers, and she knew she'd never find a safer place in the world.

He fell back against the pillows, completely spent. Sighing, as she seemed to drape across his body, resting her head gently against his heart, which was thundering wildly. He pressed his lips against her hair at least a dozen times, holding her close and hating the fact that he had to leave. The possibility of calling in sick was sounding better and better. But he knew he had to meet with Versely. For the time being he had to keep up appearances, and do his job.

Soon, he'd be back in his castle, and hopefully have his Emma there beside him. He wondered what dear Snow White and her husband would think of their darling little Emma in the arms of the Dark One. He smirked. Emma caught the look, and frowned.

"Something funny?" she asked him, and he look at her puckishly.

"Just wondering what your friend Mary-Margaret will think of you coming home this 'early' after being out so 'late', he mused.

"Why? It's not like she's my mother," she joked, and he chuckled, thinking 'oh the irony of that statement'. "Besides, she was kind of encouraging me to get with you," she admitted. He quirked an eyebrow.

"Really? I was under the impression that Miss Blanchard wasn't very fond of me. I seem to frighten her," he said, and Emma rolled her eyes.

"Cuz your just so scary, oogy boogy," she teased, making him laugh. "She wasn't too fond of you. But that was before you saved her ass during the trial. She sort of likes you, and now she's only mildly intimidated," she told him with a giggle. "Besides, she knows how I feel about you, so she has been very supportive," she told him.

"Well, I owe her a thanks then," he replied and spared a glance over at the clock. "My dear, it's going on eight-o-clock," he informed her. Emma's eyes flared wide.

"Shit! I'm gonna be so late!" she started to get up. She was still straddling his waist, and was trying to find the best way to get up without getting him 'up' again. She leaned away from him, half fell back on her side of the bed, then she looked over at him. He looked amused by her acrobatics. "Unless you changed you mind about calling in sick?" she teased. He grinned.

"If I could, I would. I'm meeting with Versely to decide on a plan for his defense. Perhaps you could come by the shop around noon. We could have lunch if you like," he suggested. She brightened.

"Sure! I'd like that," she leaned up and kissed him. He pulled her closer, and deepened it, running a hand down her side, and over her hip to squeeze her ass. She whimpered, instinctively moving against him. Oh no, they couldn't start that again. They'd never get to work at this rate! Finally she had to make herself pull away from him.

"I gotta get dressed, so I can get home and grab my stuff for work," she moved away again, and this time she swung her legs over the side of the bed and hurried over to gather up her wrinkled clothes, so carelessly discarded the night before. She shimmied into her underwear jeans and bra, as she reached for her sweater she heard Gold sigh, and she turned around to find him gazing at her.

"What are you looking at?" she asked with a grin. He shrugged boyishly, and tucked his hands behind his head.

"Putting clothes on your body is like painting a mustache on the Mona Lisa," he said, and amazingly, even after all they'd done together, a compliment like that made her blush like a teenager.

"Well, I need my mustache, or I'd have to arrest myself for indecent exposure," she joked, and he chuckled.

"Such a pity," he bemoaned playfully, and she rolled her eyes.

She pulled her sweater over her head, then sat down on the edge of the bed to put her socks, and boots on. She felt the mattress shift as Gold slid up behind her, and pulled back her hair to press a kiss to her neck. Her eyes drifted closed and she dropped her left boot to the floor.

"Gold I'll never be able to get dressed if you keep doing that," she sighed. He chuckled darkly.

"I'll try to keep the beast at bay, but he's fighting it hard. You'd better hurry because he wants you naked, and writhing beneath him," he whispered in her ear. Emma emitted a little squeak as his lips closed around her earlobe.

"Bite me Gold," she said though gritted teeth, and then gasped as he did as she bade him this time, renewing the mark he'd made two days before.

"I warned you once to be careful what you ask for love. I take things quite literally," he quipped and she sighed.

"So if I say go get fucked," she hedged, and he grinned.

"Well for that one you'd have to come with me," he teased, leaning closer. "And believe me Emma, you would be coming," he vowed low in her ear.

"Oh God," she breathed. "You are so mean!"

"I never professed to be nice. I warned you love, I'm not a good man," she turned to face him.

"Yes you are. I don't ever want to hear you say that again, promise," she demanded gently. He smiled.

"Alright, since you asked so nicely," he replied and she kissed him again, then bent to pick up her boot.

After she was dressed she reluctantly bade Gold farewell, and hurried home to change. Mary-Margaret was waiting for her.

"Hi, I'm gonna be so late!" Emma said to her. Mary-Margaret smirked and once more followed her up to her room while she changed.

"So, last night went well?" she hedged, trying not to pry, but she was dying to know. Emma looked up and nodded. Her hair was a mess, he clothes were rumpeled, and her eyes were bright as stars. She looked like she'd slept for a month, and then woke up and won the lottery.

"Went great, we're having lunch today," she said hurriedly.

"That's great Emma. I'm happy for you. You do realize you have your sweater on backwards," she informed her, trying not to laugh. Emma looked down at it and smirked.

"Well, would you look at that," she reflected, smiling fondly at it. "Ah well. I gotta change anyway," she pulled it over her head and tossed it into the hamper.

"Well I'm happy for you two. Now that I know you're alive, I have to get to work. I'll see you later hon," she said and turned to leave. Emma smiled after her friend. She had been waiting on her to come in before she went to work. Such a total mom, she'd make a good one one day.

She finished dressing and made some sense of her tangled mess of hair, opting to drive to work since she was running behind, and because her legs were still a little wobbly. She may have to forget walking to go green if she was going to be around Gold.

She pulled in at the station. Jefferson was already there waiting. She grabbed her stuff, still clipping on her badge, and shrugging out of her jacket as she scurried for the door. She found Jefferson pouring coffee, and looking amused.

"Sorry, I'm late! I'm so late!" she gushed hanging up her jacket on the hook.

"I'll stow the white rabbit quips for now," he joked handing her a cup of coffee. She giggled, rolling her eyes at him.

"You know what, go ahead wise guy. Make your jokes," she said happily. "I don't care," she walked into her office, and settled into her chair. He followed her through the door and

"I guess you'd be the white swan, not the rabbit," he said, and she laughed.

"That's me. A big white swan in a waistcoat," she replied. He looked a little surprised at her.

"Someone had a good night last night," he observed. She shrugged.

"I finally got some sleep. Not one dream all night. I'm hoping to make that a trend," she told him. He nodded.

"I hope you do. So, how was your date?" he asked casually. Emma smiled.

"It was nice. We had a great time together, and we're meeting for lunch today," she told him. She had to play down the date a little, not wanting to kiss and tell.

"That's great Em. I'm happy for you," he told her honestly. Her eyes shined brightly, and she smiled at him.

"You gonna patrol today, or do you want me to?" he asked. She shrugged.

"I will, you can handle the paperwork, and listen for the phone. Call me if there's any trouble," she told him.

"You got it boss," he said with a little salute. She offered one back, and turned to get her keys.

The streets were pretty quiet. Most everyone was at work or school, so Emma headed down main street and took a left. Then she had to slam on her brakes as someone walked right out in front of her cruiser. Jeeze! Did people not ever look where they were going? The person in question was Astrid, and she looked very distraught. Emma jammed the gear shift into park and opened the door.

"Hey there. You okay?" she called to the sobbing nun. Astrid shook her head and kept walking. "Hey, come back here!" Emma said stepping away from he car. "I almost hit you! Do you need a doctor, or something?" she asked.

"N-n-no. I'm fine," she said and turned to keep crossing the street.

"Watch out!" Emma yelled and waved at the passing motorist to stop. They leaned an their horn at Astrid. "Look, get in the car. You need to calm down before you kill yourself," Emma told her taking her by the arm, and leading her away from the other car so they could be on their way.

Astrid blubbered the whole time Emma was ushering her to to the cruiser. Emma winced and wanted to help, but she wasn't sure how. She walked around to the other side of the car and got in. She glanced over at the poor girl, and sighed.

"So, do you want to talk about it?" she asked her. Astrid shook her head no, so Emma put the car in drive. "Look come for a ride with me. I have to finish my patrol then I'll drop you back at your place, okay?" Emma said gently. Astrid nodded, and they drove on.

Every few minutes the girl would sniff, and dab at her eyes with the sleeve of her jacket. Emma thought maybe she should just drop her off back at the convent, and go. Then without warning Astrid began to speak.

"I know I don;t know you well, but can I ask you a question?" she said, and Emma nodded.

"Sure, fire away," Emma told her.

"Well, lets say you made a promise. A promise to do one thing for the rest of your life. But then, one day you come across something else you'd rather be doing instead," she said, then her eyes flared wide, and she blushed. "Wait, that didn't come out right! Um, I mean you find something else that you'd rather dedicate yourself to. Do you keep your promise, and stay true to your vows, or do you move on to something different, and maybe be much happier for it?" she asked, saying all of this really quickly. Emma thought about it for a minute.

"I guess it depends on the nature of the promise," Emma replied. "What's the promise you made?"

"It's just that, I love what I do, and I love working with kids, but other than that I'm just so empty inside. It's like nothing I do matters at all," she complained tearfully. Emma thought about her words, and smirked at why she'd gotten so flustered.

"This is about a guy, isn't it?" she asked, and Astrid looked down at her hands in her lap, and nodded.

"I'm not supposed to think about things like this, but I can't help it. He's in here and I can't not think about him," she sighed. Emma nodded understandably.

"Been there. I'm there now as a matter of fact. So you like a guy, but you're a nun, so that's a no-no," she said, and Astrid shrugged.

"I wish it weren't. I want to be with him so badly, but I can't, and still be what I am," she choked. Emma clucked her tongue in sympathy for the girl.

"Did you speak to Mother Superior about this?" she asked her. She nodded.

"She said I must banish these thoughts for my own good and focus on my calling," she replied.

"Well the question is, is it really your calling? Or could your calling be to get married, have a couple of kids, and have a good life being a wife and mother?" she said to her. Astrid shrugged, biting lip, and flushing at the thought about having kids with him.

"Maybe," she mused.

"Who's the guy?" Emma wanted to know.

"Leroy, the janitor at the hospital," Emma looked at her in surprise. Leroy, then town drunk? Oh well, everyone's pretty to someone. Emma thought as Astrid gushed on about him. "Ever since Miner's Day all I've wanted is to be near him. I think about him all the time. Especially at times when it's inappropriate. Mother Superior says I shouldn't have those kind of thoughts about any man," she said, and Emma smirked.

"She'd rather you think about women then?" she teased, and Astrid gasped.

"No! But she's right. I really shouldn't think about him the way I do," she looked down as if ashamed.

"Look hon, all people have those kind of thoughts. I'll bet even the great Mother Superior is guilty of it at one time or another. It's just how we're wired, it's natural," she shrugged.

"I guess, but I don't know Emma. What should I do?" Emma sighed.

"Look, I'm not about to tell a nun, not to be a nun anymore. The choice is yours. You should talk to him though. See how he feels. Then decide. If he loves you, and wants you, then if it were me, I'd go for it. Note, I said if it were me. You are not me. So, on your head be it," Emma told her with a smile. "I won't be responsible for leading a nun to the dark side," she said ominously Astrid giggled.

"There's nothing dark about the way I feel about him. I could tell the last time I saw him that he wished I wasn't what I am. When he smiled his eyes were so," she sighed, "So dreamy, and wistful," her eyes looked pretty dreamy, and wistful themselves.

"Well, it sounds like you've already made your mind up," Emma told her knowingly. Astrid shrugged.

"I'm not sure. Say, I decide to try? What do I do for money. I won't be able to stay there anymore, or teach there," she said worriedly. Emma thought it over, and then snapped her fingers.

"You like working with kids, right?" Emma asked her. Astrid nodded. "Well then, you're coming with me," Emma told her wryly. Astrid blinked at her.

"Where are we going?" Astrid asked her, looking around at where they were headed.

"I'm just giving you an option. I think I l know someone who can help," Emma replied, and drove them over to the CPS offices.

They walked up to Wanda's office, and Emma knocked on the door. She heard the gruff, 'yes yes come in,' from Ms. Coachman. Emma opened the door, and peered around it. The woman sat at her desk holding a file folder in her hands, and thumbing through a stack of papers. She looked up, and a huge smile crossed her face.

"Hello there Miss Swan. Come on in, don't be shy," she said laying the folder down and taking her glasses from the end of her nose. Emma walked in, and Astrid followed nervously behind her. "Good to see you my dear, and you have a tag along. Hello dearie," Wanda said waving at Astrid. She returned the wave shyly.

"Hi there," Emma replied, taken a little aback by the warm reception. "So, um, this is Astrid, and she has a little bit of a dilemma," Emma told her, and Astrid looked at the floor.

"Oh? Well come and sit down. We'll see what we can do to help," the older woman said kindly laying her glasses aside, and rubbing her eyes tiredly. Emma motioned to Astrid and they walked over and sat on the other side of Wanda's desk. Astrid looked as though she were going to have a stroke she was so nervous.

"So, what is troubling you dearie?" Wanda asked Astrid. The confused girl bit her lip to keep it from trembling.

"Well, it's just a little thing," she looked over at Emma, silently pleading for help.

"Astrid is reconsidering her choice to be a nun," Emma said plainly. "She isn't happy." Wanda nodded knowingly.

"I understand dearie. That life isn't for everyone. My sister had a similar problem once. She had a 'calling' but she gave it up to marry, and never looked back," Wanda smiled kindly, remembering the day her sister had given up her wings. It had been the happiest day of her life.

"And, what happened?" Astrid asked her eagerly. Wanda shrugged.

"She had three sons, one daughter, and a very loving husband. She was happy, and fulfilled, despite what she'd been told to the contrary. She died happy," the woman said her eyes going a bit misty. Astrid bit her lip and sighed.

"I wish it could be like that for me," she said dreamily.

"Well, it can. But it won't if you just sit on your rump waiting. You have to take charge. Know what you want, and then go after it," Wanda told her. Astrid's face blazed like a brand.

"I want Leroy," Astrid said, and then covered her mouth in shock, blushing furiously. Wanda smirked and Emma noticed that when she did that she looked just like Gold.

"So, it is a man that's turned your head," Wanda said wryly. Astrid nodded.

"I brought her here, because she loves working with kids, and I thought maybe, if she does decide to hang up the habit, then she could work here, like an assistant, or something," Emma told her. Wanda pondered this for a moment.

"I could use some help after all, the pay is regrettable, but worthwhile cases make it balance out. Here my dear," Wanda gave her a card with her number on it. "When you decide what you want to do, then you call me. I'll make a spot for you here if you want the work," Wanda told her. Astrid beamed.

"I'll go talk to Leroy right now!" Astrid said brightly. Emma flagged her down.

"Wait, call me too. I want to know what he says," Emma said, writing her number on the back of the card.

"I will! Bye Emma. By Ms. Coachman," Astrid simpered, and almost danced out of the room. Emma glanced back at Wanda and offered a small smile.

"Well, thanks for the help," Emma said to Ms. Coachman, turning to go.

"Not so fast dearie," Wanda called, and Emma winced. Man she'd even sounded like him just then! Emma turned back around.

"Yeah?" she asked. Wanda motioned for her to come back closer.

"I don't want to pry, but I was just curious as to how things went," Wanda wanted to know. Emma fought the urge to grin.

"We had a great time, and well, we are a couple now, I guess. We talked about it, and we feel very strongly for one another," Emma said trying to avoid the 'L' word, since it was never said, by either of them. Wanda grinned, and stood up coming around her desk with the speed of a woman half her age.

"I'm so happy for you!" she gushed hugging Emma tightly."I just knew it would work out!"

"Well, I'm glad I have your approval then," Emma said, and the other woman held her away at arms' length.

"My dear, you have no idea how pleased I am. My poor boy has been so lonely since he lost his son. He is as dear to me as a son would be, since I have no children of my own," she said a little wistfully.

"I know, I can tell," Emma said. Wanda stepped back to give her some breathing room. "So, you were talking about Gold's mother before?" Emma hedged. Wanda smiled.

"Yes, my sister was a very courageous woman. I admired her for that," Wand said proudly. Emma wondered what kind of 'calling' Gold's mother had given up. She had chosen to have a family instead.

"She sounds like she was a very good woman," Emma said.

"She was the best woman, and you remind me of her a lot my dear," Wanda told Emma, making her blush.

"I don't know about that, I'm really not very courageous," she tried to say, but Wanda shook her head.

"Don't be silly dear. It was very brave of you to come here. To try to be in your son's life. To stand up to Regina, and even, him," she smiled nodding in the direction of her nephew's shop. Emma chuckled.

"I don't get it. He's not that scary," she said offhandedly.

"No, not scary really. He can be intimidating to some. He cares about you though, so he's much nicer to you than he is to others. You were brave enough to get to know him," Wanda told her.

"I guess," Emma replied, biting her lip. "Well, I'd better be going. I have to finish patrol. I guess I'll see you around?" Emma said lightly. Wanda nodded.

"So it would seem. The more the better, my dear. Come by whenever you like," Wanda said giving her upper arms a little squeeze, and then reached to hand her a card like the one she'd given Astrid. "Call if you ever need anything dearie. You have a lovely day," she said kindly. She turned to go back to her desk, and Emma waved at her, and exited the office.

She needed to get back to the patrol, but she had been putting off dealing with the fact of that test result. If Marco really was August's father then he should know. August obviously hadn't told him, and if he really was sick then he needed to, just in case.

Sighing she got in her car and turned it in the direction of the B&B. Maybe she could talk August into telling Marco. She really didn't want that job to fall in her lap should something happen before hand, but if it did, she'd feel too guilty to not say anything. So better she coerce August into telling him.

She knocked on the door, and waited. She could hear staggering around and a few swear words, before the door opened. August looked like hell. Emma felt bad momentarily for making him get up. He managed a smile.

"Hey there," he grunted out, and swung the door open wider. "Come in," he said invitingly. Emma nodded to him, and walked inside. He closed the door and limped back over to the bed, and plopped down on it. "Feel free to sit anywhere," he said gesturing to the two chairs in the room. Emma sat in the one nearest the bed, and winced when he swung his legs up and lay back down.

"You okay?" she asked, and he looked over at her.

"Just peachy. So what's on your mind?" he asked, cutting right to the chase. He knew she'd never come to visit for no reason.

"I already got the results from the test," she blurted out. "He's your dad, like you said," she admitted.

"Okay, is that all? You came to tell me something I already knew?" he said impatiently. Emma sighed.

"I came to tell you that I know it now, and I'm sorry I doubted you about that anyway. And that you should talk to him about this. If you are really as sick as you say, then he needs to know the truth, before it's too late. August sighed then, like a parent who had to explain something to a child for the umpteenth time.

"I already told you Emma, he doesn't remember me. I looked him right in the eyes, hoped he'd know me, that some spark of recognition would hit him, but there was nothing," he teared up, and looked away from her. Emma's heart broke for the man. He had been her friend before he'd begun to talk crazy, and she didn't want anything to happen to him. It was Graham all over again, minus the puppy love syndrome.

"I'm sorry. I wish I could say I know how you feel, but," she began, then August hit the nightstand with his fist and it promptly fell apart. Emma jumped. He muttered something about shotty craftsmanship, then glared at her.

"You do know!" he cried. "You know exactly how I feel! You live with your mother. You see you father all the time. You don't know it, and neither do they, but you have them. It's them Emma, and if you'd sift things through your filter you'd see I'm right," Emma stared at him fearfully. "You feel close to them, like you know them? Like they are familiar?" he asked. She swallowed and looked away. He was right. He wiped his eyes.

"I'm sorry. I did mean to scare you. I want to make up, be friends again. I don't want to spend the time I have left fighting with you over who's right," he said, and Emma bit her lip.

"It's okay. I'm sorry too. I know this is hard. But will you please talk to Marco so I don't have to give him any bad news?" she pleaded. He grinned.

"I'll talk to him, no worries," August assured her. Emma nodded, and stood up, walking closer to his bedside.

"Alright, well, I'll get going. You look like you need rest," she said kindly.

"Yeah, I do. I had my sleep interrupted last night, and then again this morning" he complained, shifting on the bed to get more comfortable.

"Oh yeah? By what?" Emma asked, walking around to fluff his pillow a little bit.

"Some people in a room down the hall were having very loud sex. Bed banging into the wall, moaning, yelling. She sounded like a scalded cat at one point," he joked, and Emma's mouth fell open.

"Well, that was very, uh, rude of them. I'd have reported it if I were you," Emma said blushing. Had she really been that loud? And scalded cat now really! "You be sure to call me if it happens again, and I'll come right away. I mean come over and sort out the noise problem right away," she stammered.

"Will do. Take it easy sheriff," he said, and she turned to leave. It would not be happening again. Next time they'd go to his place, or hers.

"Bye August," she said, and he gave a little wave. She closed the door. Man that had been too close.

It was now time for lunch and Emma headed over to the diner to pick up the lunch order for her and Gold. She sat down on a stool and waited. Ashley came in with Sean and they sat down next to Emma at the counter.

"Hi Emma," she said sweetly. Emma looked up and smiled.

"Hey you three," Emma said, eying the baby. Little Lexi cooed at Emma.

"I think she likes you Emma. Do you want to hold her?" Ashley asked her. Emma shook her head.

"Oh I don't think so. I'm not good with kids," Emma protested, but she still held her arms out. Ashley smiled.

"It's fine. She's a real people person. Here," she plunked the baby into Emma's outstretched arms.

Emma panicked. She hadn't held a baby in ten years, but Ashley had been right. Lexi didn't mind one bit that Emma was holding her. After a minute Emma relaxed. Lexi gurgled and gabbled at her, making Emma smile.

"Hey there," she cooed to the baby. "Hey little girl. You are a cutie, yes you are," Emma said tapping Lexi's little balled up fingers. She chose then to latch on to Emma's finger and squeeze. "Wow, you got some grip little girl," she told Lexi. Ashley laughed.

"Yes she does, my hair can attest to that," she joked. Emma tried to pry her finger from the baby's grip, but she wouldn't let it go.

All of a sudden Emma was back ten years in the past, as she remembered the last baby she'd held like this...

"Miss Swan, it's a boy. 6 pounds 8 ounces, and he's healthy," a nurse said to her.

"Good," she breathed tiredly against the pillows. She felt like she'd been shrunk, then stretched, then had her insides removed with a butter knife. How in the blue hell did women do this without drugs?

"Mr. Evans won't be here for a few minutes. Do you want to hold him?" the nurse asked her. She shook her head.

"I shouldn't. I'm no good to him," Emma said. "Take him, please," she said tightly. Then there was a beeping sound from across the hall.

"Code blue!" the nurse cried. "Miss Swan I'm sorry, but we are short handed on this shift I have to help out," she cried and thrust the baby into Emma's arms. Emma stared wide-eyed at the squirmy dark-haired thing in her arms. He was soft, and warm in his little blanket.

"Uh, hey kid. Look, I wasn't supposed to do this. You were supposed to go on from here, and not be with me," Emma watched as the little boy gazed up at her. "Don't look at me like that!" she pleaded. "You are going to have a good life. Way better than with me. I'm a total screw up," Emma told him. The baby gurgled at her.

"I'll bet there's a pool where you're going. A big house, and toys. Hey, maybe your new mom and dad will get you a pony. Would you like that? All kids like ponies don't they? I wanted a pony when I was little," she mused. "But then, I wanted the sword of protection from She-ra for Christmas one year and I didn't get it, so wish in one hand," she told the baby. He stared up at her in awe of his mother, enjoying hearing the voice he'd listened to for nine months.

"I wonder what they'll call you? I was going to call you all sorts of crazy names before I decided to adopt you out, like Axel, or Brett, or Maurice, like from that Steve Miller song, you know? Then I thought Cygnet, that's a baby swan you know, my last name? I read that somewhere. Anyway, you'd probably have hated me for that one," she prattled on. " They'll give you a new name anyway, but I'm gonna give you one first. Unofficial like," she thought a minute. Then it hit her. "I got it! Your name is, Rumpelstiltskin! Let them top that one!" she said and then giggled. The baby eyed her as if to say, really? That's the best you can do?

"Sorry, I'm still a little doped up. See why you're better off going with someone else? I'm sure whatever I'd decide to call you would get your ass kicked in school," she started rocking the baby a little bit. "But look, you'll be fine I'm sure you'll like your family Rumpel, and your name," she said. A little stream of drool ran from the corner of his mouth and dripped onto her hospital gown. Ordinarily she'd be disgusted by that, but she smiled knowing the little guy couldn't help it.

"Believe it or not I don't really want to do this. I'd keep you if I could, but you don't need to be here. It's a bad place. Where you're going will be so nice. You'll be happy," tears welled in her eyes as she looked down into his little face. The corners of his tiny mouth lifted in an unknowing peaceful smile. Emma leaned and kissed him on the forehead.

"I'm so sorry. But you see, I screwed up, and you shouldn't suffer for it," she said as the tears spilled onto her cheeks, and she leaned her shoulder up to brush them away, not wanting to release her hold on him. "Listen, I probably don't have long, but I want you to know. I do want you, okay? I really do. I don't have another choice. You'll end up in foster care if I don't give you up, and I'd rather be shot in the head than let that happen to you," she said firmly as she could. "I love you, I do okay? I do with all my heart, and I hope that you have a happy life, and you grow up to be like a genius! And you go to to college, and make like a billion dollars a year, and get married and have kids of your own and," she stopped and fought back the sob trying to claw free from her throat.

"You'll never think of me, maybe never even know who I am, but if you ever need to find me it won't be too hard. Just follow my arrest record, and you'll get there," she half giggled, half cried. "You know you are the only really good thing I ever made, normally I just make a mess," she said, her tears flowing freely now, falling down into his hair.

Emma ran her finger over his forehead, nose, lips, and chin, looking for traces of herself in his face. He kind of had her chin, and maybe her nose. She touched his toes, and feet. He kicked her hand away. She smiled. He was ticklish, so was she. Maybe he'd be a lot like her, and wonder where it came from. Maybe he'd find her one day, and he'd know she loved him.

She touched his fingers, counting them, running her own fingers over the tiny nails. They were so small, so delicate, too perfect to be real. Just then he reached out and grasped her finger hard, and hung on. Wow, what a grip! Her little man was strong! Her little man. Hers'!

"Miss Swan?" said a voice from the doorway. Emma looked up to see a tall man in a white polo shirt and khakis.

"Uh, yeah. That's me," she replied, knowing who he was before he introduced himself.

"I'm Jim Evans. I'm here for the uh," he nodded to the baby in her arms.

"Oh yeah, right," she said trying to keep her voice strong. "You got some identification pal? I'm not gonna hand him over to you without being sure," she told him stoutly.

"Of course," he pulled the photo id badge off of his belt and showed it to her. She looked at it closely. She knew how to spot a fake, she'd used one often enough. But it was real.

"Alright, looks legit," she said. The man smiled.

"I assure you Miss Swan. I am with the agency," he said. "I just need your signature, and I'll be on my way," he said in a business-like manner. Emma swallowed hard and nodded.

"Sure," she said, and lifted the baby up over her shoulder, and tried to pry her finger from his grasp. He wasn't letting go for anything. Emma sighed. "Come on kid, I need that finger back," she told the baby. It took everything in her to make him let go. She took the pen from the man and signed the paper as quickly as she could manage, trying to keep the break as clean as she could.

Now the baby had a death grip in her hair. She lifted him away gently, but he wouldn't let go. Tears threatened to fall again, and Emma held the baby close to her cheek.

"I hope you come looking one day. I love you baby, I love you," she whispered against his fine dark hair. "You gotta let go now," she told him. He didn't. He wanted to stay with her! She had to loosen each of his fingers from her hair. At last she had freed it from his grasp and she placed him in the arms of the strange man, as the nurse came back in to check on her.

"Don't worry Miss Swan. He'll be fine," the man told her. Emma nodded, and then bit her lip as the baby began to cry. "Thank you Miss Swan, I hope everything works out for you," he said, and with that he turned and nodded at the nurse, then was gone. Emma could hear the baby crying down the hall, and her head fell back on the pillows, her body wracked with sobs, her heart breaking at the sound of her baby desperately crying for her. She yanked the I V tube from her arm and flung it as hard as she was able.

"Don't do that sugar! It'll be okay. You made the right decision," the nurse said trying to comfort her.

"Leave me alone! You don't know anything about what that was like! Just, just go! And, don't you look at me!" she snapped, sobbing harder. The nurse clucked her tongue in sympathy, and did as Emma asked, leaving her to spend her tears as she always had, alone.

Tears fell from Emma's eyes, and she tried in vain to blink them away as she returned to the present, and realized where she was. She handed the baby back to Ashley, and swiped her sleeve over her eyes. Ashley looked concerned.

"Are you okay Emma?" she asked.

"Yeah, fine," Emma said. "Tell Ruby I changed my mind about the food, will ya? I'll pay her later," Emma said getting up and dashing out of the diner, her eyes half blinded by her tears. Ashley looked after her in worry.

Emma ran across the street, and down. She only hoped there were no customers right now. Enough people had seen her break down in her life. The bell signaled her entrance to him, and she flipped the sign from open to closed.

"Gold," she choked out. He looked up from the counter, and gasped.

"Emma? Love, what's the matter?" he rushed to her side as quickly as he could manage on his injured leg. She fell into his arms and cried against his chest. He held her and let her calm down.

"Love, tell me what happened," he asked her gently. She told him about the memories that holding Lexi had brought to the surface. Gold held her close to him, soothing her tears.

"Gold I just let him go! He chose me! He wanted me! My parents didn't, none of my foster families did, and the jerk who knocked me up sure as hell didn't! He was the only one in my whole life who did, and I just gave him away!" Emma sobbed.

"Oh my dearest," Gold breathed into her hair. Emma looked up at him tearfully.

"Gold, I want my baby back!" she choked out. Gold's own eyes teared up at the desperate look on her face. He cupped her face in his hands, brushing at her tears with his thumbs.

"We'll find a way love. I promise," he vowed, kissing her lips gently. "I'll help you, whatever it takes," he said, and Emma looked at him hopefully.

"You will?" she asked.

"Of course I will. I feel responsible for him being there with her too. He needs to be with you, and I promise you love. He will be soon," he said, making her smile a little.

"Thank you," she said softly, her voice raw. "Maybe if I can get Henry back, and then we find Bae," she said, trailing off. Where was she going with that thought? Gold smiled and stroked his thumb down her cheek.

"Go on," he urged her. She bit her lip and blushed.

"Well, I was just saying that if I had Henry, and you had Bae, and we're together then it would almost be like we're," she looked away. He grinned.

"Like we're a family?" he added. She nodded. They could be a family. It could be odd to have a stepson older than you are, but she could live with it.

"Yeah, kinda. I mean I'm not saying that we'd be, uh, you know," she floundered. He chuckled at her unease.

"You're adorable when you're flustered," he told her, and she rolled her eyes.

"Shut up," she said, and leaned in to kiss him. He sighed, and kissed her back softly, not wanting to start something they couldn't finish. She pulled back with a sigh, and looked at him. He smiled, and tucked her hair behind her ear lovingly.

"I'm glad you came to me love," he said softly. "So other than your happy little breakdown how has your day been so far?" he asked, making her giggle.

"Not bad. Although I think I might have led a nun to the dark side today," she quipped, and he laughed.

"What?" he asked her, not sure of her meaning. She snickered.

"Well, do you know Sister Astrid?" Emma asked him. He shook his head.

"Not really. I know of her, but we've never spoken," he replied.

"Well, she may leave the nunnery. She asked me what I thought about it, and since it's because she's fallen in love, I told her to go for it," Emma said, and then lowered her voice. "You can't say anything, but it's Leroy that she's in love with," she told him and a look of understanding crossed his face.

"That makes sense. Leroy tried to get me to excuse a month's rent for the nuns around Miner's Day. It must be that it wasn't really for all the nuns, it was just for her," he mused. It made sense that he'd try something so pointless for the woman he loved, and he found it funny that the dwarf had fallen for a fairy, but who was he to judge? He was who he was, and was smitten with the daughter of Snow White and Prince Charming. Emma smiled.

"So he's in love with her then?" Emma asked, and he nodded.

"So it would seem," he said, and she grinned.

"I made a match then! That's one happily ever after down! Henry will be thrilled," she said brightly. He looked confused. She patted his arm "It's just that silly fairytale thing he goes on about. We're supposed to help people find their happy ever afters," she said.

"Well, good for them. I hope you won't feel guilty for telling her to go for it?" he asked, and she shook her head.

"No, but I did take her to see your aunt about a job should she decide to leave. She was very helpful. She told Astrid about you mother choosing to give up her calling for your dad. Astrid didn't know who she was talking about, so don't worry. Family secrets, are still secret," she promised. He smiled.

"In my aunt's eyes you are practically family anyway," he said and she blushed.

"Yeah, she was happy we had a nice date," Emma said, and looked away. He smirked.

"You told her it was a nice date?" he asked and she rolled her eyes.

"I told her we had a good time, and we are together now," she told him. "I didn't want to say to your elderly aunt, 'oh yeah we took a nice walk in the park, made out, then staggered back to Granny's and fucked each other blind', that woulda went over real big," she said, an he laughed.

"I wouldn't be so sure dearie. She's been around for ages, and she's seen it all," he said.

"Yeah well, somehow I don't think she wanted details. Oh and apparently I sound like a scalded cat when I'm having an orgasm. You could have told me," she said. He grinned.

"Sorry love. I was too busy giving it to you to notice. Who told you that?" he asked, and she smirked.

"August. I stopped by the tell him about the test results, and he told me. We woke him up last night, then again this morning," she told him, and he grinned.

"Did he know it was us?" Gold asked her, pulling her against him. She giggled as he ran his hand down her side and cupped her ass.

"No, and I didn't tell him! It's none of his business," she said.

"Well if he brings it up again, you should tell him. I for one am very proud of my handiwork. Mouth work too," he said lowering his lips to her collarbone, and kissing her there. God yes there!

"Gold, I have to be getting back in a minute," she sighed.

"Pity," he growled in her ear.

"Gold, I have to go. I made you miss lunch," she said, and he smiled.

"It was worth missing it. The food was only an excuse to see you again anyway," he said, brushing his lips against hers. Emma's heart leapt, and she deepened the kiss. Emma sighed into him mouth. Reluctantly, she pulled back, and smiled at him.

"I really have to go. Thank you for being here, and listening to me. I uh, I, I'm glad I have you," she said finally, and he smiled.

"I'm glad I have you too love," he said stroking his thumbnail down the center of her throat. She smiled.

"So, I'll see you, soon?" she asked hopefully. He grinned.

"The sooner the better," he replied, and she stepped away from him, and towards the door. Her legs threatening to give away.

"Okay, um, so until next time?" he nodded, sweeping a short bow.

"Next time," he repeated, and she waved before leaving the shop.

A/N: Okay, so there's that one done. Please review!