"BOOM! HEAD SHOT MOTHERFUCKER!" Lucy screamed with a blood thirsty smile as she shot Laxus.

"STOP FUCKING DOIN THAT!" He screamed right back, angered that he was losing.

"THEN STOP SUCKING! NOT MY FAULT YOU'RE A HORRIBLE PLAYER!" She screamed right back.

"STAB! GOTCHA AGAIN SUCKER!" Lucy shrieked as she knifed Laxus in the game, immediately killing his character again. A black cloud appeared around his head as his wife continued to beat him bloody in game, as well as destroy his ego.

"THAT'S IT!" He yelled when the game ended, the kills being completely one sided. Lucy won with 50 kills...and Laxus had only 1. He stood up, threw his controller at the wall to his right and moved up to the gaming console, pressing the on/off button as hard as he could without breaking it.

"Wow, someone's a sore loser." His wife commented behind him, and Laxus only growled angrily before walking to the kitchen. Though he didn't hear it, Lucy followed him, and as he was opening the cupboard to grab the bottle of vodka he had stashed, he he didntfelt his wife's arms wrap around his middle.

"I have a better game in mind. Follow me to the bedroom and I'll tell you the rules." Her voice promised fun that could be had, and Laxus immediately forgot about the bottle of alcohol he'd been reaching for as he followed his wife to their bedroom.

Two Hours Later

"LUCY! I'VE BROUGHT YOUR KIDS BACK!" Was the voice of one Natsu Dragneel, and as soon as his voice reached their ears they shot out of the bed, both anxious to not be seen naked by their kids and angry that they're orgasm contest had been interrupted. So far Laxus had had two, and Lucy had had four.

"COMING!" They yelled at the same time as the finished fixing each other's hair. Lucy was the first out the door, followed shortly by Laxus.

"What took you guys so long?" Natsu asked, grinning with a knowing look in his eyes. Laxus growled darkly at him, but Lucy remained oblivious as she asked the kids how their evening with 'Uncle Natsu' had gone.

"He brought us to the park, and then he got us ice cream, though he didn't get any for himself. Say, were you and daddy doing the 'sex' thing you told me about?" Lucy blushed, and her daughter grinned.

"Good, cause Uncle Natsu told me that sex kept a relationship together, and I don't want you and dad to start getting angry at each other cause you wanna 'fuck'." Laxus's eye twitched when he heard his innocent daughter say those words, and a growl emanated from his throat.

"Well... Im'a leave now...Bye!"

NATSU!" Laxus yelled as he started running after e pink haired, fire breathing dragon slayer.

Later that Night

"Hey Lucy?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm the better pleaser. It really is good to win!" Was all Laxus could say before his wife kissed him, shutting him up completely.