Once And Forever Ch 10 Memories, and Meltdowns

Emma groaned and rolled over. The alarm clock was blaring in her ear. Groping groggily for it she misjudged the distance and fell off the edge of the bed.

"Shit!" she snarled. That was gonna leave a mark! She flailed around madly to disentangle herself from the sheets. How during the night had she managed to wrap herself up until she resembled a human burrito? Then that last dream she'd had came to her.

"Oh yeah, damn you Gold," she grumbled, then smiled fondly. She really couldn't blame him as she had been trying to make herself dream of him instead of the enchanted forest, so careful what you wish for there.

She dressed and headed down to the kitchen to find Mary-Margaret on the phone with David. She was at least minding the stove this time, so there were no flaming skillets of death to deal with. Emma walked over to the refrigerator and pulled out the juice.

"Okay, I'll call you tonight. I love you too," Mary-Margaret said into the phone, then smiled, and hung up. She sighed and turned to see Emma grinning at her. She blushed.

"Morning," she said and turned to tend the skillet. Emma sniggered at her.

"Morning to you. No fire hazards I see," she teased her. Mary-Margaret huffed at her, then giggled, unable to be annoyed with her.

"No, you want some?" she asked her.

"I think I will. After what happened yesterday I didn't get to eat until last night," Mary-Margaret frowned at her.

"You shouldn't do that Emma. You need to eat right," she scolded gently. Emma blinked at her.

"I'm fine mother," she said sarcastically sitting down at the table with her juice. Mary-Margaret giggled, and carried the skillet to the table dumping eggs on her plate, then some on her own. Emma reached for the toast, and looked up at her friend "Thanks," she muttered and Mary-Margaret beamed indulgently at her.

"I'm only worried because I'm your friend. How would Henry feel if you got sick?" she asked, and Emma sighed.

"I know. Normally I do eat right, but yesterday was just crazy, in more ways than one," she said cryptically, then dug into her eggs. Mary-Margaret let it lie and sat down with her to eat.

After breakfast Emma hurried down to the station. Jefferson was already there, he looked anxious. Emma smiled and patted him on the arm.

"How's she doing?" she asked him. He smirked, and shrugged a little.

"She's doing alright, and really anxious to get home, but the doctor said he wants to keep her one more day just to be sure her injuries weren't more severe," he replied. "I was hoping I could take off early this afternoon, if my boss is feeling magnanimous today," he hinted, and she smiled at him.

"I guess I could be nice just this once. In the interest of true love and all," she said, and he handed her coffee, and ruffled her hair.

"You're the best Emma," he said, and turned to go over to his desk. Emma shivered, remembering her dream from the night before. It would be time to go on morning patrol soon. She'd ask him her questions afterwords.

For Jefferson, the morning was slow. Pongo got loose and chased Pauline Boyd's cat up a tree. Not that anyone really minded, except Ms. Boyd. He caught Pongo and took him back to Archie. The cat could fend for itself, he decided, after trying to get it to come down. The damn thing snarled at him. Snarled like a tiger! Jefferson usually liked cats, but not that one. That thing was the devil incarnate.

Emma had quite a bit to occupy her, the power outage had cause a lot of confusion, so she spent a lot of time driving around, and answering calls. At last things slowed down after lunch. Emma came out of her office, and walked over to Jefferson's desk. He looked up at her.

"Something on your mind?" he asked her. She nibbled her lip nervously. No she had no reason to be nervous. It had been a dream. A crazy dream.

"Yeah, a couple of things actually. I just wanted ask you something," she said, and he smiled at her.

"Fire away," he said leaning back in his chair. She sat on the corner of the desk so she could read him closely.

"I was just curious how you met Alice," she asked him. He watched her face for a minute, then sighed.

"Do you want the truth, or the lie Em?" he asked her. She was taken aback by that.

"What do you mean?" she asked.

"I mean I have two different accounts of how that happened in my head. Do you want my actual memory, or do you want the lie Regina planted in my head?" he asked, and Emma sighed tiredly.

"Jeff please," she pleaded tired of his riddles.

"Okay, you be the judge. We met at a party. She was just as eccentric as me. We had some laughs, and she gave me her number. We only dated a few months before we got married. After a little while Grace was born, and she was the light of our lives. Then one night I get a call from the sheriff's department. Alice and Grace were killed in a car crash on the way home from town, drunk driver," he said all this like he was reading it from a cue card. "And then I went a little wobbly from the loss, and refused to leave my house in my grief," he said finally. Emma looked him in horror.

"How could you say those things?" she cried. "They're not dead!" she said. He nodded.

"I know that. So tell me Polly Graph, did I lie, or was it the truth?" he asked her. She frowned.

"It was a very obvious lie Jefferson! Why would you say those horrible things?" she asked him, getting angry.

"So you'd have something to compare it to. You want the truth now?" he asked her.

"I wanted the truth to begin with!" she demanded.

"Just wanted to get the lie out of the way. So, here it is, We met when she was twelve and I was fourteen. I was on an errand for my father, and a heard a girl yelling for help. I ran to see what it was, and there she was, stuck in a muddy hole. I helped her out. I could tell she wasn't from around there by the way she spoke. We became fast friends, and she decided to accompany me on my errand. She liked riddles, so we asked each other one after another, until I stumped her with one," he said with a chuckle.

"Let me guess, why is a raven like a writing desk?" Emma supplied. He nodded.

"Yeah, she thought about it forever, then she gave up and asked me the answer. I told her it had no answer, it was complete nonsense. She laughed, and even then it was an enchanting sound," he said fondly. "She told me of the place she was from, and said she needed help to get back there. She couldn't go the way she came, so I searched and searched for a way to help her get home. I'd heard about the blue fairy's magic being good, and so I called on the blue star, and there she was. She gave me my hat, telling me that it would send her home, but that I couldn't accompany her, because the place she lived had almost no magic, and the hat wouldn't work, so I'd be stuck, with no way home," he said, swiveling the chair back and forth. Emma nodded.

"Yeah, then what?" she was intrigued by his tale, crazy as it may be.

"The blue fairy told her what door to go through, then left us. I opened the doorway. Alice hugged me, and kissed me on the cheek. She said she'd never forget me, and she would think of an answer to my riddle for when we met again, and then," he sighed. "Then she was gone. I missed her so, though we only knew each other a short time. And so after a long indecisive time of brooding about it, I began searching for a way to find her. Silly as it may have been, my heart was hers," he said smiling, and Emma smiled as well, thinking it was sweet.

"I searched forever it seemed, realm after realm then by chance I found her in Wonderland. I was nineteen at the time, and she was seventeen. Once again I found her stuck in a hole, but this time she was in bog of some kind. Urpuals were after her in the muck, and so I pulled her free. We tumbled over into the grass and our eyes met. It was almost like she'd never left me. She smiled and said she had an answer for me. She told me they both have feathers, because a writing desk often had a feathered quill to write with, and raven of course have feathers as well. We shared a laugh, and then we kissed, and it was magic. I was a bit surprised actually. It was kinda fast, but she had missed me as I'd missed her, and she wanted to stay with me. Her father had died, her mother was despondent at the loss, and her sister was the worst of all. When she told her of her journey and of her meeting me, her sister tried to have her locked away in a place called Bedlam. It was a place in her land for insane people," he told her. Emma nodded, having head about the place before.

"It was famous for it's ill treatment of people there," she said with a grimace. He nodded in agreement.

"She ran away from her sister, and began searching for a way to get back to me. The way she'd come before was filled in. Finally after being heartsick with longing, much as I had been, she stumbled her way to Wonderland, and there I happened to be. Stuck with no way home. By some stroke of ill fortune, or not so ill depending on how you look at it, the person I escorted to Wonderland was thief, and he had been captured and put to death by the queen, so I was free to take Alice with me. For that is the first rule of traveling by hat. Two go in two come out, or none do.

"She and I were married for a couple of years before we found out she was having Grace. She came with me on trip and went into labor. I delivered Grace with my own hands," he told Emma looking down at them. "But we had a problem. Grace had been inside her mother's body when we came through, and so the hat only recognized two passengers. So two had to return. Then we were ambushed by the queen's guards. They had heard about the birth and had come to take us before the queen. All children born in Wonderland have to be presented to the queen, to deem it worthy to live in her kingdom. You can guess what happened to children she deems unworthy," he said darkly making a slashing motion across his throat. Emma swallowed the bile that rose in her throat. How could anyone be so cruel? Fictitious or not!

"So you ran with Grace?" Emma asked him, and he nodded. "And what Alice told us about the other day was what happened after you left her there?" she supplied. He nodded again.

"I took Grace to my sister to keep for me, then rushed back to find Alice. I wanted to hide her somewhere near the looking glass until I could find a way to get her out, but it was too late. I looked everywhere, but I couldn't find her," he said sadly, pinching his lips into a tight line, running his fingers through his hair. Emma was white as sheet.

"So this sister of yours, is she here somewhere?" she asked him shakily. He shook his head.

"No. She died before the curse happened," he replied, his voice thick with emotion, and looked away.

"Do you have any other family here? Your mother? Father maybe?" she asked, and he exhaled sharply.

"My mother died before the curse as well, so no, she isn't here. Alice and Grace are all I have left," he said, with a finality that made her a little afraid to ask the next question.

"So your father's dead too?" she asked him, and he chuckled darkly.

"As dead as he can be to me, or Alice, or his granddaughter," he said, standing up and walking over to the window to avoid eye contact.

"So you two had an argument?" Emma guessed, and he chuckled again, as mirthlessly as before.

"I have several reasons for hating that man. He treated my wife like dirt, refused to acknowledge Grace, sent my brothers to their deaths, and as much as killed my sister with his own hands. He should be beaten within an inch of his life for that," he mused, then turned to Emma, and smirked. "Oh yeah, he was," he said cryptically, and then turned his back to the window and leaned on the sill.

"Jefferson tell me the nickname you used to call your sister," she demanded suddenly, unable to put it off anymore. Every word he'd spoken just then was true as true could be. He was not lying. Jefferson turned, staring at her.

"How do you know about that? That isn't in Henry's book!" he said standing upright.

"I know. Prove to me you aren't crazy, and answer the question," she said, looking him in the eye. He shrugged.

"I always called her bluebell, like our mother did," he replied, and Emma made a little sound of desperation.

"And she called you," she prompted, and he watched her closely.

"Sunflower," he said slowly. "Why do you want to know this?"

"And she nicknamed your wife?" she asked again.

"Forget-me not, because," he began, but Emma interrupted him.

"Because she liked the color blue, and she was always in your mind," Emma finished, her voice trembling, unsure what to do with this information. Jefferson blinked and pushed away from the window.

"How do you know that?" Jefferson asked her, his voice low. He walked toward her, and Emma stood from the corner of he desk, moving back away from him.

"I dreamed about it, last night," she said, and he grasped her shoulders, leveling his gaze at her making her look at him. Then it was like the top of her head was a lightning rod and she's been struck. Memory after memory of another life poured into her head, making it feel as though it would split in two.

"Emma?" Jefferson asked in concern. Her eyes sunk back in her head and she whimpered in pain. "Emma are you okay? He asked her.

"I hurts!" she cried.

"Emma! Honey what's wrong?" he asked her.

"My head is bursting! I can't stand it! Make it stop, please sunflower!" she pleaded, then her head fell forward onto his chest and she sobbed. Jefferson was prone to hearing things, but he'd just heard his sister's voice come out of Emma's mouth. He looked down at the wailing woman in his arms, is eyes wide in disbelief

"Belle?" he asked her softly.

"Yes," she whimpered, then she pulled back from him. "I mean no! No! I'm Emma damn it!" she snapped. "I'm still me. Oh God! I am still me, aren't I?" she cried, seizing a hand-full of hair in her hand. "Still blonde," she sighed, and then was mad at herself for crying.

"Emma honey, calm down. I'm here, and you're still you. Don't worry," he soothed, wrapping his arms around her, petting her hair, as he used to do for Grace when she'd had bad dreams. Her bottom lip trembled as she looked up at him.

"Am I still me? Who am I?" she asked him tearfully. He smiled at her fondly.

"You just said it sweetie. You're Emma," he went with her as she sank to the floor.

"I'm not so sure. Her memories are crowding mine," she said wincing. "My head hurts so bad!" she groaned.

"You get used to it over time. Learn to love aspirin," he teased. Emma emitted a shaking sigh, her shoulders sagging. Things were clicking, and Emma rubbed her temples.

"French was our father," she said finally.

"Yes, and I'd use that term loosely. He contributed the DNA, nothing more."

"Our mother's name was Amaile," she quoted to him. "And she loved flowers."

"Of all kinds," he affirmed. "She looked a lot like you used to."

"Papa hated flowers," she said, and Jefferson grinned.

"And so now he sells them for a living. Talk about a curse getting you where you live," he chuckled, and Emma's eyes popped open. French had been her father once! That was insane! Her mind raced back to the conversation she'd had with Gold the night she'd arrested him.

(Flashback)

Emma walked out of the cabin, and watched as Mr French was placed in the ambulance. He had a concussion, and a broken arm, but he'd live. Gold was leaning on her cruiser, and he looked like he might be in mild shock. She walked up to him trying to lighten the mood a little.

"I heard you managed not to break anything he needs," she quipped. "You're lucky Gold," she said sidling up to him. He looked up at her, his face masking his hurt, and rage as well as he could.

"You have a funny definition of lucky," he replied. She felt sorry for him.

"You have a funny definition of justice. What did he really do to you?" she asked, knowing full well she did not know the whole story.

"He stole from me Miss Swan," he said placidly. "I already explained our history to you." Emma rolled her eyes at that

"Oh come on! That reaction was about more than someone stealing a few trinkets from you. You said something about how he hurt her? What happened to her? Who were you talking about? If someone needs help, then maybe I can help," she tried to tell him.

"I'm sorry sheriff, but I think you heard that wrong," he replied, trying to look nonchalant. Emma wasn't buying it, but she wouldn't pry. Not now anyway.

"You're really not going to cooperate are you?" she asked him.

"You know what? We're done here," he said, a look of defiance crossing his face. He turned to go, and Emma seized him by the arm.

"Actually, we're not. You are under arrest," she said pulling out her cuffs to accentuate her point. He didn't look surprised. In fact he almost looked amused, maybe even proud. It seemed to be more of an inconvenience than anything. She snapped the cuffs on his with a small measure of satisfaction

"Turn around and place your hands on the hood," she said to him. He complied.

"Is this necessary? You have my weapon," he said nodding to his cane.

"You are in possession of a gun. I know that firsthand. Now, hold still," she told him. He stood still, as Emma felt of his sides, and checked his pockets. Then her hands went under his jacket to the front of his shirt. No gun there. So she ran her hands down both sides of his pants felling the pockets there. Her right hand brushed against something. Gold jumped at the contact and turned his head to look at her questioningly. Emma blushed. 'not a gun' she thought to herself.

"Okay, no gun. Good. Come on, get in the car," she said quickly, and managed to hear the low chuckle as he turned toward the car door. He leaned on the car for support until he got in and sat down.

She came around and got in to drive him the the station. He was silent, and looked out the window. Emma sighed.

"If you'd just tell me what he did I wouldn't have to do this you know,' she said finally.

"The man is scum Miss Swan. And whether you believe me or you don't, he deserved what he got, and more," he seethed.

"Well regardless, that's not for us to decide. He should be the one sitting there right now. Not you. If you'd just let me do my job. I could have had him," she said, as they pulled into the parking lot at the station. She shut off the engine, and turned in her seat to face him.

"You don't understand Emma. He took something irreplaceable from me," he said, his voice shaking he was so upset. Emma sighed.

"I'll get it back, if you'll trust me," she said, and he laughed mirthlessly.

"Why should I? You don't trust me," he told her plainly. She bit her lip, and looked him in the eye.

"Look, I will do my damnedest to get it back, okay? And if you'll just tell me what he did, who he hurt. I may be able to do something about it," she told him. He shook his head.

"There is no helping her, now please, leave it," he said, his voice soft, and pleading. Emma nodded.

"Alright. You are aware of your rights?" she asked him. He nodded. "Good come on then. I'd have liked to be in my bed an hour ago," she grumbled. Gold muttered something unintelligible, that had the word 'bed' in it. Emma blinked.

"What was that?" she asked him.

"Nothing, nothing at all sheriff," he said innocently.

Emma got out of the car, and walked around to open his door. She had to help him up since he didn't have his cane, and then he had to lean on her for support . She glanced over at him.

"I want to know what you said Gold," she demanded.

"Help me inside first. Then I'll tell you. Deal?" he asked, trying to look innocent. She nodded exasperatedly, and helped him walk in the station, and sit in a chair. Then she perched on the desk looking for her print kit on her messy desk.

"Alright, you're in. Now what did you say? And don't lie, or I'll know," she told him. He smirked.

"I said, I'd have liked to be in your bed an hour ago as well," he replied, flicking his eyebrows upward at her flirtatiously. Emma's mouth fell open, and her hand knocked the pencil cup off of her desk, spilling the contents onto the floor. She turned to look at him incredulously.

"Just a quip dearie," he said, and Emma closed her mouth, and frowned.

"Ha ha," she said and got up to pick up the fallen pencils and pens. She looked up at him. He was watching her mildly, his eyes still looked troubled, but much less so than they had. She rolled her eyes and put the cup back on her desk.

"You're lucky I'm tired, or I might take you up on that," she told him, and he raised his eyebrows in interest. She smirked. "Just a quip dearie," she replied mockingly, echoing his words. He laughed. Really laughed. She'd never seen him laugh before. His eyes looked lighter, less careworn. He looked even more handsome than he usually did. She swallowed hard, and shook her head to banish that thought from her brain.

"You are a gem Miss Swan," he told her, his laughter fading to a friendly smile. Emma blushed.

"Gee,thanks. I'm a gem and you're Gold, together we could make one pretty necklace," she joked. He chuckled, and she relaxed a little bit, and shook her head. God she was tired! "So anyway, I have to take the cuffs off of you to get your prints. Will you behave if I do?" she asked him. He shrugged.

"I promise nothing," he teased, and she smiled.

"You won't try to escape?" she asked him. He nodded to his bum leg.

"I'm fairly sure you could outrun me dearie, even if I have my cane," he said. Emma clucked her tongue in sympathy.

"Alright," she said, taking off his cuffs. "Lets get this over with," she said dryly...

Emma came back to the present, and smiled a little. He'd beaten him up over her! Er, well, over who she used to be anyway! And, that day he'd had a cup with him. A broken one. She remembered how it had gotten that way. He still had it! She blushed with pleasure. He did love her! Or, well, he loved Belle

anyway. She didn't really know what to do with that information though. Part of her was happy he felt that way, and part of her was hurt. What if he never loved her the way he loved Belle?

She had been feeling it for a while, slowly drifting into it. She was falling in love with Gold, all over again. And just like before she was unsure if he felt it too. He had said some very loving things when they were together, and she knew he cared about her, but love? She wasn't certain.

One thing was for certain things had begun to change between them after she'd arrested him. After she'd found out that Regina had made French take his cup, before she'd even know the significance of it, she'd wanted to rip the bitch a new one. For teasing Gold with it that day, and placing that haunted look on his face, making him look so broken. He'd even looked like he'd been crying. Regina had done that to him! The bitch really was the evil queen, and that woman had her son. Then it hit, the realization she had been fighting since her arrival in town. The curse! Gold remembered! He remembered her! He knew who he was! It was all real.

"God Henry!" she looked up at Jefferson. "It's all true! The curse, everything Henry has told me, it's all true!" she said, her voice starting to shake again.

"I've been trying to tell you that for a while sweetie," he reminded her gently. She swallowed hard, her lip trembling.

"Jefferson, I'm sorry I called you crazy," she said, laying a hand in his arm. He smiled.

"It's nothing I haven't been called before, and it kinda true," he said, and Emma shook her head, which still hurt very badly.

"But still, I'm sorry I didn't believe you, and, oh God!" she exclaimed. "August is really sick! And he's turning back to wood! And my baby is living with evil queen! And I'm living with Snow White all this time, and she's my mother, and I,"

"Emma!" Jefferson said gripping her shoulders gently, and making her look at him. Emma blinked and then focused on her friend.

"I'm fine," she said absently. "I just, I have to help them, I have to help all of them. August could die, and who knows what Regina will do to Henry," she said biting her lip. "She tried to put Mary-Margaret in jail. And she's been trying to keep her away from David because they loved each other. She's been setting all this up," she said, and then her face got hard. "She set me up!" Emma stood up. "She told me to kiss him! Told me to break his curse and I believed her! Then she sent those men to me," she scowled darkly. "I'll kill her!" she seethed, and turned to leave. Jefferson grabbed her arm.

"Whoa Emma! Where you going?" he asked her.

"The evidence locker. That cane is still in there, and I'm gonna need it," she said. Jefferson shook his head.

"Emma, you can't just walk up and hit Regina," Jefferson said trying to reason with her. Her lips set themselves in a hard line, then broke into a maddened grin.

"Oh I'm not gonna just hit her. I'm gonna beat her within an inch of her worthless life!" she vowed. "She can join 'papa' in physical therapy, if she ever walks again!" she said her voice raising, fuming with anger.

"Emma, sweetie, calm down, okay? You don't want to do that. There are better ways of getting to her, alright," he said. Emma took a deep breath, and sighed.

"Jeff, I want. Her head," she said in a calm voice. He grinned.

"Talk about confused. You think you're the queen of hearts now?" he teased. She rolled her eyes.

"Please, that bitch has nothing on me!" she said, and Jefferson laughed.

"Calm down Emma," Jefferson said soothingly. "Don't do something you'll regret," he warned. She sighed and pressed the heel of her hand to her head.

"My head is splitting," she complained, and sank back to the floor, her back to the wall and he nodded, and followed her down.

"I understand completely. You know, I knew there was something familiar about you when we met. I never would have thought of this," he said, grinning from ear to ear. "My little sister," he shook his head. "So what were you going on about before? What did Regina do to you?" he asked.

"You know about me going to live with him, right?" she asked. He nodded.

"Yeah, I thought of visiting, but I couldn't just walk up to his place and ask to see you. He'd have probably turned me into something slimy," he told her, smirking. Emma chuckled,

So she told him her tale, or Belle's tale rather. Telling him about her falling in love with Rumpelstiltskin, and then meeting Regina on the road, followed by the sad story of her leaving him, and trying to return home, their father's rejection of her, and then Regina sending the men after her. Jefferson listened to every word, his eyes getting misty when she told him of her last memories.

"Oh sweetie, she really sent those men in to hurt you?" he asked.

"Yeah, and they would have succeeded, if I hadn't," she looked away. Jefferson hugged her then.

"I wish I'd been there," he said. "I should have been there," he said grimly. Another thing to blame the old man for! If he hadn't sent him away, he could have been there! He could have helped her.

"It's not your fault. None of it was. I made my own choices Jeff," she told him.

"Still, if you'd just come to me instead of him," he said. She shook her head.

"I tried to get to you, but the road was blocked. The queen's guards were everywhere. I thought he'd understand," she said, and he nodded.

"And I thought he'd accept my choice in a wife, I was wrong," Emma nodded, then gasped. Thoughts of her few conversations with Wanda flooded her mind.

"I'd call it cruelty really," she'd said "He disowned two of his children for their choices in the love department." Emma blinked, and looked back at her friend.

"Jeff, do you know who people really are? Like who they were before the curse?" she asked him.

"I know most of them," he replied.

"Well, do you know who Wanda Coachman used to be?" she asked him. He nodded.

"Oh yeah, I know her very well. She used to be your fairy godmother, a very nice lady," he said, like it was something she should have known.

"Why don't I remember her?" Emma asked him. "Shouldn't I?" she asked him.

"Maybe she didn't want you to remember," he said with a shrug. "I do know she can't stand the blue fairy, much like me," he told her.

"Why don't you like her?" Emma asked him.

"Weren't you listening? She screws with people's lives. Always so quick to offer magical help, without explaining the consequences. Gilda never offered you magical solutions, only advice. She was there for you after we lost our mother," he told her.

"She didn't help you?" Emma asked him. He smiled.

" 'Papa' wouldn't allow it. She wanted to, but he said I had to learn to live without cowering behind apron strings," he said a little gruffly. "Girls are different though, they need a woman around to 'explain' things when the time is right," he grinned at that. "I still remember the look on your face after that conversation," he said with a chuckle. Emma blushed, vaguely remembering some of it too.

"One day dearie, you'll find the one you can't live without. He'll be your match. He'll make you angry, and he'll make you laugh. He'll make you want to hit him, and he'll make you want to drag him to your bedchamber by the hair," she'd laughed at the shocked look on her face at that. "He'll be as dear to you are breathing, and you will be the same to him. True love, the most powerful thing in all the world,"

"But how will I know him?" she'd asked.

"When he's always on your mind, when you're away from him, and you ache, when your dreams are haunted by his face, his voice," she patted her arm. "You'll know dearie. It may not be easy, true love isn't easy. But have faith dear one, when the time is right, you'll know," she had told her. It had certainly given her a lot to think about.

"Emma?" Jefferson said, calling her back to the present. She blinked and looked at him.

"Jeff, what do I do now?" she said, her voice trembling. "I have to go over there tonight. We have a date, and oh Jeff, what will he say? I can't keep something like this under my hat," she breathed.

"You aren't wearing one Emma," he teased, and she rolled her eyes.

"You know what meant! The last time we saw each other, we parted on bad terms. What will he say?" she said fearfully.

"Emma, what do you mean, 'bad terms'? That was another life, another time. You two are on very good terms now," he told her gently.

"You're the one that keeps speaking of home, and everyone's memories. How can you say another life?" she asked him.

"Because for you it was another life sweetie. You are not who you used to be. Granted there are few similarities. You're both stubborn, and determined. You have the same pout when things don't go your way. You both like cinnamon on things cinnamon shouldn't go on," he said, and she giggled. Jefferson thought that cinnamon and chocolate together was a crime against chocolate. He smirked at her amused expression. "But other than that, you are not her anymore, not really. You're tougher, braver, less naive. You have more," he seemed to have trouble finding a word.

"Muchness?" she supplied, and he chuckled.

"That's a good word, yes. More muchness, more heart. Like you went into the forge as aluminum and came out as tempered steel," he told her, smiling proudly. "Dear Belle, lived in a word of books, and imagination, she longed for things, adventure,romance, but bless her, she was too timid to go out and make them happen. You grab life by the balls and twist until it gives you what you want," he declared, and she scoffed.

"I'm not as strong as you think Jeff, look at me, sitting in the floor of my office in tears," she said shaking her head in a self-deprecating way.

"Honey, you just found out you lived another life, magic is real, and all you've ever believed about the world was lie. You're not rocking back and forth in the fetal position, I think you are doing great myself," he said patting her heartily on the back.

"Gee thanks bro," she said snarkily

"Anytime sis, speaking of which, we should get up off of the floor. If someone comes in," he trailed off and Emma nodded jumping up.

"Right, but Jeff, really. What should I say? Hi, remember me? Auburn hair, pouty lips, used to clean your place? Well I died and then was reborn as the blonde chick you see before you? Wanna smush?" she said gesturing to herself. Jefferson snickered.

"Honey, be nice. Personally I want to shake that man's hand every time I see him," he told her with a smile.

"What do I tell him? How do I tell him?" she asked him.

"Tell him the truth sweetie. You did love him before, do you love him now?" he asked her. She shrugged.

"Yes, I do, but he loved Belle. I'm not her anymore!" she said touchily, and he smiled.

"Sweetie, I think you're worrying for nothing. I've seen how he is around you. I know what a man in love looks like," he said. "I've been looking at one in the mirror since I was fourteen, and if you count the 28 years of hell here, that's a long time," he said, and she nodded, a little smirk playing at her lips

"So it doesn't bother you that your little sister in love with the scourge of the enchanted forest?" she asked him. He smiled.

"You can't argue with true love Emma. So, did you ever give him a flower nickname?" he asked her, and she blushed, remembering that she had called him a name in her head, although she'd never told him aloud. It unnerved her that she could call her memories to the surface just like that. Jefferson noticed her blushing, and grinned. "What was it?" she looked away from his piercing gaze and muttered something unintelligible. "What was that?" he asked her.

"Goldenrod," she said hurriedly, and he snickered.

"Too much info there. I never saw him, and I heard he was kind of golden, but really," he teased.

"It wasn't because of that! I never saw his, well, not then anyway, it was because of the whole spinning straw into gold thing, not, THAT!" she cried. Jefferson threw back his head and laughed.

"I'm just messing with you Em, I knew what you meant," he said. She rolled her eyes.

"Ha ha, so are you gonna go visit my sister-in-law now?" She asked him.

"Sure, you wanna come? She'd be thrilled to see you," he said. Emma wondered if that were true. Her memories of the woman now swam to the surface of her over-crowded mind. They had been the very best of friends. She recalled visiting her when she had been expecting Grace. She had been so excited, but now knowing how she had lost her, and Jefferson as well made her sad for her former friend. She said former, because she just wasn't that person anymore, no matter how many of her memories she possessed.

"Jefferson, I don't know. She seems nice, and I have very fond memories of time spent with her, but I'm not Belle, not now. She may not like who I'm now. She hasn't changed, but I have," she said, looking away. He made a sympathetic sound, and touched her shoulder.

"Sweetie, Alice liked you, she told me so," he reassured her. "Come visit her with me. Besides we need a plan to get her to my place without Regina knowing," his eyes looked nervous as he said that and she nodded.

"Okay, but just for a minute. I can't be away from here all day, and I still have tonight to worry about," she replied. She was very worried about tonight.

Emma rode with Jefferson to the hospital. Doctor Whale was there checking the back of her neck when they walked in. He looked up at them and smiled pleasantly.

"Sheriff, deputy, good to see you both again. Come to check on our little Lyssa here?" he asked, and they nodded. "There doesn't appear to be any damage done to her neck, but I'd take it easy for a day or two just be safe," he said more to her than them.

"I just need to clear up some things about the rental car company, and her insurance," Emma lied, and Doctor Whale nodded.

"Oh sure. Well it looks like she can leave tomorrow. Does she have a place to stay while she's in town?" he asked, hoping that she didn't.

"I already to care of that, but thanks for your concern Doc," Emma said dismissively. He nodded, and smiled at her before exiting the room, as Jefferson glared a hole through his back.

"Letch!" Alice grumbled, then brightened as she met her husband's blue eyes, and she reached for him. "Jefferson, I want to go home now! Please, isn't there something you can do? I feel fine!" she pleaded. He grinned, and leaned to kiss her gently.

"He said tomorrow love, and tomorrow it will be. We've waited this long," he said low near her ear. She swallowed hard, and smirked at him.

"Too long," she breathed, and kissed him again. Emma looked away giving them a moment to themselves.

"My love I have to tell you something. This lady, Emma, is my little sister Belle, reborn," Alice looked at her in awe.

"Belle? Is it really you?" she asked her. Emma shrugged.

"Well, yes and no. I'm Emma now, I remembered things today. I remember you being my sister-in-law, and us having tea, and laughing at Jefferson's baby name ideas," Emma smiled fondly at him. Thank heaven for Alice because he was a good at naming kids as she was, not very. Alice grinned, and her eyes glistened.

"I saw you when," she swallowed the lump in her throat. "I saw it all. I wept for days," she held out a hand to Emma.

"Alice, I hope you'll like me for me, and not just because I used to be her.," Emma said, taking her hand, and Alice pulled her into a hug.

"Oh Emma, silly dear! Of course I like you. You're helping against the queen, and helping my Jefferson protect me," she told her. "I want to know you, as you are now. We'll be great friends, you'll see," she said knowingly. Emma bit her lip.

"I, uh, I hope so, she said with a little half-smile. Alice held her away at arms length.

"I know so!" she declared. Emma smiled, and glanced over at Jefferson, he was smiling too.

"Lotta love in this room," he teased. Alice swatted at her husband

"Behave you! Now can you tell me what we are going to do?" she asked them. They filled her in on the plan, and strategized the events of the following morning.

Emma finally tore herself away from them, promising to be on the lookout for the mayor. She was even more worried now that Regina would get some wild hair to come snooping. And she was not completely sure she could handle seeing the woman face to face at that point in time, considering she had cost her her happiness, not once, but twice. One of which she'd taken the man that Emma had loved, and the other one ripping her from her parents before she could ever know them, or love them.

She felt so lost, and she desperately wanted to run to him, but knowing what she now knew, well, she needed time to clear her head and stop it from spinning if she was even going to make it to their date. She needed to calm down, and breathe. It was early yet, and she still had a job to do. Sighing she turned and headed back toward the station, forgoing the urge to curl up in a ball and cry her heart out. The walk would do her good, she'd decided. Jefferson could use the cruiser. She walked slowly, kicking at rocks on the sidewalk, until she heard someone calling her name. She looked up. It was Grace. She fought the urge to smile, as the little girl made her way across the street.

"Hi Emma," she said brightly. Emma nodded to her and crossed her arms waiting for her to speak.

"Hi there, is school out already?" she asked. She had been so dazed she hadn't heard the bell.

"Yeah, just let out actually. Henry sent me to give you a message. He said you have to meet him in the park. It's important for Operation Cobra," she said shifting her bag higher on her shoulder.

"Really? Did he say anything else?" Emma said, getting excited. She was filled will a little bit of vigor now that she believed him, she was eager to swap theories, and take an active roll in bringing Regina down.

"Yeah, he said come alone, unless Jefferson is with you. You can bring him, because he's in on it," she said sounding a little confused. "Emma, does he always play games like this?" she asked her.

"Henry? Well, I don't know, I mean I haven't really known him a long time," Emma began, Grace shook her head.

"No, I mean Mr Jefferson. I understand you playing with Henry, because you're his mom, but why does Mr Jefferson play with him? Grown-ups don't usually play games like that. Is he your boyfriend, or something?" Grace wanted to know, her large dark eyes looking up at Emma questioningly. Emma had to bite her lip to keep it from quivering. She grinned, and shook her head.

"No, he's my friend, like a brother really," Emma replied. "He plays with Henry because he is lonely. He had a daughter a long time ago, and he lost her. And he misses her very much, so he plays with Henry like he would play with her, if he had her back," Emma told her kindly, fighting the tears from her voice. Grace smiled.

"Oh, well, I guess that makes sense. What happened to his daughter? Did she die?" Grace asked Emma, and she shook her head again.

"Tell you what kid, your house is on the way to the park. Walk with me, and I'll tell you the story," Emma said, and Grace smiled up at her.

"Okay! Tell me!" she implored Emma.

"Alrighty then," Emma said, and began the tale that started with Jefferson meeting his wife, and ending up with him getting trapped in Wonderland. Grace hung on her every word.

"So then what happened?" she asked eagerly as they reached the front of her house. Emma shrugged.

"So the curse keeps everyone trapped here, until I can find a way to break it," Emma finished, and Grace giggled.

"I see where Henry gets his imagination from," she said. "It was a wonderful story Emma, but how does it end? Does he find her? Does he find Alice? Do they go home together?" she wanted to know,

and Emma smirked, remembering those bright eyes wide in awe as she'd told her tales long ago. She apparently still knew how to spin a good story.

"You bet they do," she replied. Grace got a dreamy look on her face.

"And they'll live happily ever after?" she asked carefully.

"Well duh! Isn't that how all these stories end?" Emma asked her ironically, and Grace giggled again.

"Yes, and I hope so! Oh Emma wouldn't it be wonderful if all the stories in Henry's book were true?" she asked her wistfully. Emma nodded.

"Yeah, it sure would be," she said, and patted the little girl on the back. "You better get inside. They'll worry," she said, inclining her head toward her house. Grace shrugged.

"I guess. I'll see you later Emma, thanks for walking me, and for the story too," she said turning to go. Emma smiled.

"Sure thing, anytime," she replied and started to walk away.

"Emma?" Grace called after her, making her stop.

"Yeah?" she asked turning back to her. She looked unsure about something, but there was something else in her eyes besides uncertainty. There was hope, and not a little courage there.

"Does Mr Jefferson like to play hide and seek?" she asked hopefully. Emma's face broke into a huge grin.

"It's his favorite game, why?" she asked, and Grace nibbled her lip.

"It's my favorite game too, only, my mommy and daddy won't play it with me. They always say it's time for me to grow up and stop playing silly games," she said, her eyes downcast. "So, if Mr Jefferson ever gets lonely, and he wants to play a game, I'll play with him. He seems really nice, and now I know why he's so sad," she said, and Emma swallowed the lump that had formed in her throat.

"Hon that would make his decade. I'm sure he'd love to play with you," she replied and Grace's face lit up like the forth of July.

"We can play in the park. There are lots of trees to hide behind!" she said happily. Emma nodded.

"I'll be sure to tell him. He'll love it!" Emma said, and Grace turned as the woman that was her fake mother appeared in the doorway.

"Is something wrong sheriff? Paige hasn't gotten into trouble has she?" she asked folding her arms crossly. Emma shook her head.

"Oh no, I was just going the same way she was. Have a nice day," Emma said nodding to the woman. "See ya around," Emma said turning to the little girl, and said 'Grace' in covert tone. Grace giggled, and nodded, acknowledging her codename.

"See ya," she replied, and followed her fake-mom into the house. Emma swiped the sleeve of her jacket across her eyes and kept walking. The park wasn't very far, and Emma was filled with hope, her spirit rekindled. She believed in magic, she really did! It was real, as real as air, and light. And as real as darkness. A darkness she would now have to fight.

The park was buzzing with children, running through the grass, walking dogs, blowing bubbles. There were no slides, or swings, or even climbing bars in this park. The only play space had been the castle until it had been destroyed, and Regina had decided to build that metal monstrosity instead. Emma spotted her son by the duck pond, feeding them bits of his left over turkey sandwich. Her heart leapt in her chest when he turned his little face to her and smiled, waving her over.

She hurried across the lawn, til she reached his side. She didn't care who saw as she threw her arms around her son. He looked a little bit startled, but he hugged her back. She smiled, and tears of happiness coursed down her cheeks. He grinned and pulled back to look at her.

"What's the matter Emma?" he asked her, wondering if he should be concerned for his mother. Emma choked out a sob, that turned into a laugh.

"Henry, I believe! I believe you!" she declared. "You were right! You were right about everything!" she said, leaning and kissing him on the forehead. "I'm sorry I didn't believe you," she told him, her face threatening to crumple into sadness, as she met his shinning eyes. Henry grinned and hugged his mother back tightly.

"Really? You really do?" he asked her hopefully. She nodded, and kissed his hair.

"I do! I really do!" she assured him, then held him away from her at arm's length. "And there's something else you were right about," she told him.

"What?" he asked her eagerly.

"About my dreams, and what they meant. They were of another life. I was Belle, then I was reborn as Emma," Henry blinked up at her.

"Well, if you were Belle, then have you figured out who Rumpelstiltskin is?" Henry asked her. Emma smiled.

"It's kinda obvious now that I think about it. Makes deals with everyone, the whole baby thing, spins Gold," she said, accentuating the word 'gold' and Henry slapped his forehead, and turned to pick up his book from the bench.

"Mister Gold! Mister Gold is Rumpelstiltskin!" Henry said, his voice raising in his excitement. Then he frowned, and looked around lowering his voice. "But wait, isn't he a bad guy Emma?" she shook her head.

"Not really. I don't think he is. He knows about the curse. He remembers," Emma told him. Henry shrugged.

"He should know. He created it," he told her, and flipped through his book to the tale of Rumpelstiltskin. How he became the dark one, and him losing his son, to the conversation with the blue fairy, and Emma gasped.

"He told me he'd lost his son, but he wouldn't say how," Emma reached to take the book from Henry, and winced as more memories shot into her brain. She saw Mary-Margaret holding her when she was a baby, and then kissing her her goodbye, saying her name, with such heartbreak it was almost unbearable to hear. She saw David carrying her in his arms, fighting for their lives, until he had her safely tucked inside a cupboard. He leaned and kissed her tiny face, saying 'find us' in firm sure voice that both did, and did not belong to David.

Because they weren't Mary-Margaret and David. They were Snow White, and Prince Charming, her ferociously loving mother, from whom she got her stubbornness, and her chin and her bold heroic father, from whom she got her heroism, her nose, and her lips. Now that she thought about it she could see much of herself in their faces. And she could see them in Henry too.

"Oh God!" she cried as the vision left her, and she looked down at the book in wonder.

"What Emma? Was a that a good 'oh God, or a bad one?" Henry wanted to know. She looked at him, her hands shaking.

"I saw them! I saw Snow White and Prince Charming! Why didn't I see before?" she asked him. Henry shrugged.

"You didn't believe before," he said with the simplistic reasoning of a child. She nodded.

"Yeah, right. Okay, so, where does that leave us?" she asked him. He smiled.

"I called you here because I over- heard the queen talking to someone this morning about her apple tree. She said it's dying. That means the curse is weakening! That tree is from over there," he said nodding to the book. Emma sighed.

"Well if the curse is weakening then what will happen if it breaks? Do we all just poof back there?" she asked her son. Henry shrugged.

"I'm not sure what will happen. We may go home and we may have to find a way back," he said, and Emma nibbled her lip.

"Well, Henry, I guess I could just ask Gold. We have a date tonight," she said, and Henry looked up at her.

"You're going out with him?" Henry asked in shock. She nodded.

"Well, okay, if you're sure. I want to know what he says. Are you sure we can trust him?" he asked her.

"I'm sure, he's on my side, and that's our side. Don't worry, I'll talk to him, and I'll tell you what he says, more or less. I'm sure you don't want to know everything," she said, ruffling his hair. Henry pulled a face, and she laughed. Henry shook his head at his mother.

"No, not everything, but stuff about the curse, of course. Tell me," he replied with a grin. He hugged her again.

"That was all I wanted. The curse is weakening," he said happily. "Have you noticed anything else like that?" he asked her, and Emma told him about the strange thing Astrid had said to her the day before, and then about Grace wanting to play hide and seek with Jefferson.

"They are trying to remember! This is awesome!" he cried, and then his face fell. "Unless the queen finds out about it. Oh Emma, we have to be very careful not to let on," he said, worry crossing his features. She nodded.

"Oh don't worry. Now you'd better go. She'll be looking for you," Emma told him pressing her forehead to his.

"Alright, tell me what you find out," he said stealing another hug, and then rushing off in the direction of his house.

Emma watched him go, standing upright, and turning to walk slowly back to the station. What on earth was she going to say to him? How would he take it? Would he be angry with her at all? She worried her lip between her teeth, and wrapped her arms around herself.

Suddenly she felt the urge to run to someone else. To her best friend, and her best friend's boyfriend. To cry to them, and beg them to remember her. She now understood the pain in August's eyes. He'd known who his father was all along, but when Marco looked at him, there was no recognition. None at all.

She hugged her body tighter, walking faster, and biting down on her bottom lip hard, silently willing the tears not to fall. Somehow, she was going fix this, she had to! She was the only one who could, and that knowledge lay heavy on mind as she walked back inside the station.

A/N: Another one down. I know I didn't continue on to her dinner with Mister Gold but I had to split this chapter in half. The next chapter is gonna be a long one one too. This one was more about Emma dealing with things. And I know there's a lot of her and Jefferson in this one, but I promise the next chapter will be more Emma/Gold related. Please review, and tell me what you thought. Thanks!