Chapter 4:
Things were heating up between Mikasa and Armin but at the same time they were at a standstill. Both parties had established relationships with Annie and Eren but their constant glances at each other or the faintest skin on skin contact sent butterflies to their stomachs. They both knew that the knots they were feeling were a mixture of love and guilt.
Armin couldn't take it anymore. He had to understand what was going on between him and Mikasa since it was starting to affect his life with Annie. He hated how Annie had to be the one to talk whilst he simply nodded his head and glanced at Mikasa. He loved Annie, there was no denying the feelings he had for her but since the day of Ymir's 'apparent' birthday he couldn't get rid of the feeling of Mikasa's hand wrapped around his. He knew that he wasn't fighting this battle alone because he could see that Mikasa had become more reclusive than normal, it had gotten to the point where she would outright ignore Eren. Armin knew that if both of them didn't sort out their feelings, their friendship and relationships would be in turmoil.
"Armin." Mikasa knew that he would approach her soon since he knew what she was going through. The only reason why she had avoided him for this long was because she was a little scared. She loved Eren more than life itself but Armin had stirred up feelings she had locked up a long time ago. The truth was that she always had feelings for Armin but her sense of loyalty towards Eren had caused her to lock away those feelings and sorely focus on Eren. It was after Ymir's birthday that she finally accepted the fact that she loved Eren but she was in love with Armin.
"Meet me at the lake at midnight. We need to talk." He said in a whisper that broke her from her trance. She had registered what he said but when she was about to respond he was already walking towards Annie, who seemed to be waiting for him. It was only when they were sparring together did she remember that Annie offered her help to him. As if on cue, Eren appeared.
"Hey Kasa! Wanna spar?" He said as he laced his fingers around hers which caused a faint blush to appear on her cheeks.
"Ok." She said simply as she and Eren made their way to the grounds. She was sporting her signature blank face but inside she was angry. Firstly she was mad at Eren and herself because she was the one who had asked him if they could train together but he turned her down every time since he was with Annie but now on his first try at asking her to spar, she agrees without a moment's thought. She was starting to believe that she was some kind of machine that was built just for Eren and that she herself had no life without him. It was true that he had saved her life but that didn't mean she shouldn't live her life. The second thing that made her angry was the fact that Annie had taken Armin from her. It had become a routine for her and him to train together and the fruits of her training were paying off as Armin was moving up the rating list. Mikasa never thought that there would be a time where she would have to pretend to enjoy her time with Eren but it seemed that that moment had arrived.
Armin was waiting patiently and nervously for Mikasa to meet up with him. Judging from the moon's position in the sky, Armin concluded that it was 1am meaning that the chances of Mikasa coming were close to zero since she was an hour late. But Armin knew that he wouldn't be able to sleep right now with all the thoughts going through his head, so he sat down at the base of a tree just a few meters away from the lake and sang a song his father would normally sing when Eren and Mikasa came over for dinner or lunch.
"Are you, are you
Coming to the tree…
Where they strung up a man they say who murdered three
Strange things did happen here
No stranger would it be
If we met at midnight in the hanging tree…"
Armin felt a little sad singing this song considering that both Eren and Mikasa had killed three men in order to stop them from stealing Mikasa. It was that thought that reminded him that the bond between Eren and Mikasa was far deeper than he could ever imagine and the fact that all he and Mikasa ever did was sing together meant little. The fact that Mikasa wasn't here just proved that.
"Are you, are you
Coming to the tree
Where the dead man called out for his love to flee
Strange things did happen here
No stranger would it be
If we met at midnight in the hanging tree."
'Not to self… if I am about to be eaten by a Titan, I must make sure Mikasa gets away… or right! Mikasa isn't my lover and she's better than me' Armin thought with a dry chuckle, holding back the tears caused by the assumption that Mikasa may have given up on him. The sound of a familiar voice accompanying his own in the next verse sent a wave of relief through his body.
"Are you, are you
Coming to the tree
Where I told you to run, so we'd be both be free
Strange things did happen here
No stranger would it be
If we met at midnight in the hanging tree"
Armin stopped there when he felt Mikasa sit next to him, starring at the lake in front of them. It was silent which was odd considering that they both had a lot to say to each other but no courage to break the ice. Mikasa was the first to open her mouth.
"Armin…"
"I love you." Armin interrupted. He knew what she was going to say and was planning on waiting for her to finish but his heart got temporary control over his mouth and the words rushed out. "I love you and as great as it is, it's bad." Mikasa's frown deepened at that. "Annie and Eren find happiness in us and happiness in itself is an extremely rare commodity due to the titans. I believe that if were to rip away that happiness from them then we won't be any better than the titans." Mikasa really wished Armin was wrong this one time but he was never wrong and her heart ripped by an inch. "I love Annie." Another inch was ripped. "You love Eren." Another inch. "But I'm IN LOVE with you…" Her eyes widened at that as she stared at him dead in the eye. She was so stunned that she couldn't even react when Armin pressed his soft lips on hers. When she finally got her bearings Armin was already gone.
"But I'm in love with you too…" she said sadly.
End
Song- the Hanging tree (The hunger games)
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