Chapter Three
Why did he run away from her?
Vera closed her eyes to keep the tears in as best she could as her insides tightened with hurt. Sobs wrenched her esophagus as she remembered a few days ago when Keevan ran away when she held onto him and cried as she spoke of her cheating husband and unsupportive father. Every man in her life always seemed to abandon her, and now he did then! Were all men the same; were they really cowards?!
She and Keevan had not seen or spoken to each other, nor did he come to see her at the shop, which made her mother thoroughly pleased. "Good heavens, that man is nothing but a spook to our customers and myself," Norah said as she waved herself with her hand as a makeshift fan. She had always criticized Vera's choice of man or boy in the past, so now she made her daughter snap.
"You don't even know him, Mother," she said frostily as she stitched the tunic of a Bolian male.
"Watch your tone with me," Norah warned. "And who says I need to know that creature? Just because he pays us visits does not mean he is on my favorites list. He hasn't even improved as an impression amongst anyone on this station."
Knowing better than to argue with her mother, Vera gritted her teeth and went back to work, although she wished she could have said something better. Keevan was more human than anyone thought he was, but everyone condemned him because he was different. How DARE they! If she had the power, she'd make them understand. As a consequence, she almost pricked her finger and bled on the precious fabric. If Norah saw this, she would scream like she burned in hell.
Keevan on her mind was the reason for the distraction. She had told Ezri about this, girl between girl, and explained how the Vorta were unable to enjoy anything that regular beings did, not surprising the Trill enough. "I heard," Dax said over raktajino, despite Ezri not liking it unlike her predecessors Curzon and Jadzia. "Vorta don't take anything free or make themselves happy. He stayed with you longer than he wanted to because you just wanted a shoulder to cry on; there's never anything wrong with that. But for someone who spent the majority of his lives serving monsters, that's understandable that he would get scared if he...enjoyed it unexpectedly."
It was as if a strain of an awkward silence had overcome the air of the entire replimat as Vera felt herself shrink. Dax's words settled onto her as much as she wanted to shove it aside and not accept like the silly schoolgirl she used to be. He enjoyed it expectedly...he enjoyed it...ENJOYED IT...
Keevan enjoyed holding her!
She was on the verge of collapsing as the possible truth came to light. Keevan must have found some part of himself to hold her of his own free will instead of following the code of no emotional attachment that he had surrendered to. But then it made him panic and run because he had no idea how to face it. She supposed she could understand that much, but it still hurt and made her angry that he took off when she needed him in that moment. He had been the nearest form of comfort she had.
Ezri noticed her expressionless face and swallowed. "Maybe I shouldn't have said anything; I see you're not comfortable with this."
"I really don't know," Vera said softly. "I just...needed someone there, that's all. But what about him? He might not even remember what his original DNA donator was like, or even been with someone - maybe never knew what it was like to love someone period. He doesn't know how to do this, and he knows I'm not ready to love, too."
"But you two do seem to like each other. There's nothing ashamed about that."
Ezri WAS right; she did like Keevan, he was handsome and arrogant but at the same time very gentle, but she still didn't know why he was so afraid of touch and emotion. She knew that meant seeing him again, but how do you start a conversation when you hadn't spoken in days, which hadn't ended good? "Setting you guys up won't be a good idea," Ezri said when she spoke this. "I would say go straight for it and invite him over to your quarters. Ask him straight out. With the Vorta, it's all about getting straight to the point."
"She's right, you know, and maybe a little trip to the holosuite is in order?"
"Quark, a holosuite?" Vera asked disgustedly when the Ferengi happened to stop by their table with her favorite tea coming, and she paid him her strip in latinum. "Why would I need a holosuite? Not your Risian programs..."
"Oh, not at all. It could be a shot of Georgia, wherever you are from. Take him in to get to know your home a little better, bond some more that way - and maybe if he opens up about his homeworld, I might as well get that underway."
She supposed that wasn't a bad idea, but Keevan might not be happy with a holosuite program, or was she just assuming it? Vorta liked to have fun once in awhile when they had a chance, but not Keevan. A program could wait. Right now, they had one thing to settle.
~o~
He was busying himself with the collection of novel PADDs that had been here, given to him by Vera ever since he moved here, engrossed in a collection of intriguing fairytales, notably Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs which seemed to be his favorite thus far. Somehow, it reminded him of himself if not entirely the same - until it came to the climax of the girl being threatened with death by her wicked stepmother until the third time was the charm...but it did not end there, as she was revived and taken away to marry the man she fell in love with. As punishment for her crimes, the seven little friends of the princess placed hot iron shoes for the wicked queen so she danced until she dropped dead.
However, he could not stop his mind from being in such turmoil. He still had not found it in himself to go to Vera; if he'd gone to her shop, then her mother would try to stop them both, and who knew what she would say or do to Vera as she was a very strict woman at times.
And then, on the fourth day, his quarters were buzzed. He put the PADD down and called, "Come in." He remained sitting in his chair when he looked up to see WHO it was. "Vera!"
"Keevan," she replied simply, stepping in and the doors closing behind her.
They both stared at each other, both of them unsure of how to begin, but Keevan had no idea any more than she as it seemed she knew why she was here, but he couldn't think of his part. He knew she wanted to know why he ran off on her the way he did, but how could she understand how he felt? He wasn't supposed to feel this way; that was letting your guard down so you were hurt in the end. He never suffered heartache the way she described she did when her husband betrayed her, but by the explicit details, he knew he did not want that for himself, and he couldn't let Vera get hurt again if he couldn't make her happy.
"Should we skip the 'how have you been' mess and just go right into it?" she asked, folding her arms across her chest.
He shrugged. "If it pleases you."
She scoffed. "You don't have to talk to me like I'm a small child. I might still be young, but I'm not to be patronized. Why did you panic and run away like that? And don't say I wouldn't understand. If it has to do with your inability to enjoy physical touch or feel at least some form of sympathy, comfort..." She stopped herself when she realized she was rambling and looked away from him; her cheeks were flushing, which he thought was charming.
He shook his head. He wanted to tell her that everything she said was making this harder for him than it already was, but at the same time, both of his lifetimes had been so empty now that he was learning all of these new techniques which made the life of a human as well as humanoid worth living, seeing the union of Dr. Bashir and Dax and the expression called love between them...Keevan remembered how light he felt when he beheld the sight - and realized how lonely his life truly was. He would live for a long time unless something happened to him, and he intended to live as long as possible because there were still things he wanted to do.
And then Vera Coleman walked into his life, and he had never felt so at ease. Or was that all there was?
Besides the fact she suffered heartbreak and rejection, he despise and banishment just because he loved his people - save for the Founders - they really were not that much different. She was all he had in his new life, and he did not want to lose her. If only he could answer her and make her understand...
"Well, I'm waiting."
"Vera, I can't accept touch and anything you say. I can't...enjoy anything of the sort of intimacy that you humans crave," he said finally, throwing his hands in the air and turning his back to her. "It makes a Vorta..."
"What? Weak? Is that it?" she asked angrily. "You're saying that because you don't want either of us hurt? That's the dumbest thing I ever heard. Perhaps you don't understand that I'm the only other besides you afraid, too. I got my heart broken and don't want to go through it again."
"That's exactly the other reason!" Keevan burst, halfway turning his face back to her. "I can't put you through that again. Suppose I can't be the one to please you? What have I to offer you?"
His ears picked up her footsteps coming towards him. "I don't want some man to provide for me, God! I just want someone who won't abandon me like my first husband did, just treasure me like I'm all there is, and in return, I want him to feel like he made the right choice. I don't even want to ask for a lot, Keevan, but just that we both give each other a chance to make things work. We don't have to rush into intimacy so soon, or even the old-fashioned courtship form."
Her voice had dropped to a softer level, tired of this yelling and persistence, which Keevan was grateful for. He jumped when he felt her hand on his shoulder, turned him around slightly and looked down into her eyes. "We don't need to change anything right now, either. I want us to keep being friends and then see how things turn out. Don't you want that?" She now sounded something along the lines of desperate, afraid of losing him. Just like he didn't want to let her go. Keevan closed his eyes briefly and inhaled through his nose, trying to calm down his rapidly beating heart.
"Yes," he breathed finally. "Yes, I want to be friends very much."
~o~
"Has it already begun yet?"
He looked up from the console displaying the test results of the patient who had succumbed; she was one of the very first to ever succumb to the virus. There were two more still working on it depending on the strength of their immune systems, and the fourth would not live to see until it was too late. "A month has gone by, so I would say the development has completed its course. The malady should begin its operation very soon." Alas, their newest unfortunate victim would not stand a chance in a few more months or so, but the final trigger would pull if he ever found the need to mate with another; the results would be consequential for the both of them by then, as it was with the ones before him.
~o~
He and Vera had grown closer than ever over the next three months that passed for their friendship. They never seemed to be separated, from her own gatherings, same for him. They were always at the replimat during the afternoon, stopping at Quark's a few times a week, and he was back to visiting her in the tailor shop much to her mother's disapproval.
However, when Norah went to confront Colonel Kira, Keevan himself had followed her and overheard the conversation with his sensitive ears.
"I don't want that creature anywhere near my daughter. I demand that he be moved away from her, kept as far away from her as -"
"Mrs. Coleman," Kira interrupted calmly and firmly, "I can't do that unless he's committed an offense against Vera. And so far, I have gotten no complaints from anyone else regarding Keevan. He's been nothing but on good behavior, caused no trouble to my station." Her tone hardened along with her face. "So unless you give me a damn good reason, I will leave Keevan and your daughter alone as they are, seeing as she has a very good influence on him."
"Vera deserves better than some treacherous demon of the Dominion!" Norah Coleman burst out furiously, her face turning red as her octaves rose. "It's as simple as that. I left my husband all for her when she left hers; we both came here when we had nowhere else to turn, and this is what she does: befriends a monster and spends all her time with him than she does with me, her own mother! He's a BAD influence! I demand a restraining order in place so I can protect Vera!"
Keevan felt his rage bubble along with a growing fear that he would be forced to separate from Vera, the woman he had grown fond of and was willing to do anything for her. But her foolish mother thought she could protect herself by keeping her daughter from him, which was what the colonel seemed to think. "Vera or yourself?" she seethed, standing from behind her desk. "Mrs. Coleman, my patience is wearing thin. I won't restrain a resident just for being friends with another, especially when no serious crimes were committed - not even for another's personal hateful reasons," she said coldly, locking her eyes on the fuming Norah. "This matter will be dropped at once. Now, get out of my office or I will call security and have you removed. And if you so much as try anything on Keevan and Vera, I'll find an excuse to make you regret it. Am I understood?"
He had to get out of here before he was seen, but no sooner had he started walking away did he hear Norah Coleman call out to him.
"You stay away from my daughter or I will make you regret ever meeting us - or even coming to this station."
He whirled around and faced her head-on; everyone was looking at them now. Who knew where Vera was right now. "You heard the Colonel," he said coolly, "you can't do anything to me because I haven't done anything."
"Because you're a menace, but while no one else has complained about your presence any longer, I certainly have," she hissed. "Just the memory of you makes me sick. You think I'll ever forgive the Dominion for everything they did? Your little sob story of being kicked away from your home doesn't move me. They should have killed you when they had the chance."
He ought to have been wiser and turned to walk away, but he knew to stand ground and face like a man. This woman ignited a fire he hadn't had since the Dominion banished him. She was the only one who was his major enemy in this entire station. "You really should watch your choice of words, Norah Coleman," he said softly, dangerously, narrowing his eyes. "You're pushing one too many buttons. Do you know what it gets you in return?"
She laughed haughtily. "You think you scare me?" she sneered. "You're welcome to try something because all of Ops is watching you."
Keevan's lip curled. "You think I'll physically come onto you, woman? You don't scare me once. I'll let you know just this once that your daughter is a woman. You can't tell her who she can and can't be with, never mind that she works the same shop with you. She's welcome to run to me anytime she wants if her own mother doesn't appreciate her. I don't know you as well as she does, but for all I do know, a mother would never insult or try to control her child's life. You make me sick."
Norah drew back, her face stoned shock before it contorted into an ugly expression. "Why, how dare you insult me in front of all these people?!"
Colonel Kira called to them from overhead. "Keevan, Mrs. Coleman, perhaps you both should take this outside -"
"Forgive me, Colonel, but I have to say no," Keevan called back up calmly, locking his eyes with her. "I NEED to say all of this like the man I am."
As soon as the words left his mouth, an exhilarating wave of self-satisfaction and confidence overcame him. He had never called himself a man before, never once thought it possible he would gain something from it. The Founders would have called him an egotist, his peers would have said he was self-confident for his own good, but no. He took charge and talked down a demeaning woman between him and her daughter. "If you so much as try to interfere with us again," he said hotly to Norah Coleman, "I'll make you regret it. Understood?" Kira talked her down with the same words, so why couldn't he? The woman herself was rendered speechless; all she could do was brusquely nod and stalk away.
As soon as she was gone, the whole of Ops roared with applause and cheers. Keevan remained where he was, unsure of how to take the appraisal for taking down the dragon lady and just smiled as slightly as he managed.
"Oh, you were wonderful!" Vera said happily when he came to see her later on. She squealed and fell onto her sofa, laughing and rolling, nearly onto the floor before he helped her up into a sitting position. "I wish I was there to see it!"
He sat down beside her. "If only," he agreed. "But you should have seen her face, my dear. She lost all of her words. The colonel had her pinned before I did the additions."
She laughed and held onto him for dear life. He didn't want her to laugh too hard or she would lose her pants - that alone made him burst out with her, tumbling to the floor with her. Right then and there, he just wanted to roll on the floor with her and laugh until they were both tired.
Sha ta co ti oh ne rivna
Sha ta co ti oh nugga tir na nog
Sha ta co ti oh ne rivna
Nug a tir na nog.
He almost jumped out of his skin when he heard the music in the background. He had no idea what it was, or who the artist was, but he guaranteed that it was nothing from the galaxy and had to be from Earth. "This is Celtic Woman," Vera said when she stood and pulled him to his feet. "Tir Na Nog."
Come, my love, our worlds may part,
the gods will guide us across the dark.
Come with me and be mine, my love.
Stay and break my heart.
"Vorta don't dance!" he protested, however his body felt a little thrum as she took his hands into hers.
"Then I'll teach you!" she yelled over the music before she caught him off by singing along and bringing him around with her with each line. "From the shores through the ancient mist, you bear the mark of my elven kiss." Keevan yelped as he nearly tripped but held onto her. "Clear the way; I will take you home to eternal bliss."
Sha ta co ti oh ne rivna
Sha ta co ti oh nugga tir na nog
Sha ta co ti oh ne rivna
Nug a tir na nog.
Tir na nog, oh, come beyond the ancient fog.
Tir na nog, oh, come with me to tir na nog.
Somehow he managed to forget about the struggles as he let himself go, at Vera's pleas, and he began to enjoy the waves of excitement while he imagined being beyond the sea of stars outside the station, just being far away, carrying Vera with him if only for a day...
Far away from the land you knew,
the dawn of day reaches out to you.
Though it feels like a fairytale,
all of this is true.
"Run with me, have a look around," Vera sang as she let him go and swirled, wrapping her arms around herself and picking up her tiered lace skirts as she dashed back and forth. "We build our life of a sacred ground. Come, my love; our worlds may part. We'll be safe and sound..."
Something inside Keevan had given way as the message of the song settled into his heart, reminding him of so much of a certain day that he never thought of again until now. He did not remember feeling so abandoned until then, but it got him Vera.
But the emptiness returned when the full weight of abandonment returned with great force.
He fell down and cried as though he'd been burned. His people did not love him, his gods hated him - everyone hated him. It was the effect of Vera's care and friendship the last few months that made it blow to the surface after a restful sleep.
"Keevan, what's wrong?!"
He looked up when she knelt beside him; he was on his knees and hyperventilating so much his heart began to beat, like he was in a claustrophobic room. "I'm sorry," he gasped. "I remembered something I haven't felt since I was...exiled." She didn't answer verbally, just nodded her understanding, and when Keevan looked up at her, he found himself looking into her eyes, those irises of vivid blue...
Time won't follow the path we came.
The world you left - it forgot your name.
Stay with me and be mine, my love;
spare my heart the pain.
Warmth flooded through his body when something very soft covered his lips. His eyes had closed as he welcomed it without a struggle, the last of the music playing in the system coming to an end automatically, but all he could think and feel was Vera's soft, full lips against his own for the first time.
"Mmm..."
Somehow, they both managed to fall onto the floor; he was subconsciously aware that his back was against the floor. She straddled his waist, her thighs trapping him and gently rubbing herself against him, the friction subtle and yet enticingly warm. There was nothing further than that, however, and she was leaning over him, kissing him between hard and soft, deepening it; she had more experience than he did, so he let her do all the work and laid back to enjoy it. Keevan murmured wordlessly when they broke apart. His lungs were burning from the intensity of the lip-lock. He had never felt anything like this before, but he wanted more now that he was unable to shove it down - and he sensed the same off of her.
His hands came up and briefly caressed her bared thighs, stopping and gripping her hips. Their tongues had not become intertwined that suddenly reality hit Keevan in his brain. He stopped the kiss and quickly pulled away to look at her. "I don't think we should be...doing this."
"Neither do I," she agreed. "But do you want to stop this? We agreed..."
"I know what we agreed," he said, turning his face away, feeling his cheeks flush. How could he have forgotten? They had been such good friends the last three months and now here they were: on the floor and in a steamy embrace, kissing and almost getting to something more. She seemed to know what he was thinking and slid off of him, sitting up as he did, still beside him, but neither could look at the other.
"This is crazy," he heard her mutter. "Friends aren't supposed to do what we just did."
Now Keevan found it in himself to look at her. He agreed; friends didn't make out on the floor or engage in...intimacy. But...THEY did. They were so close to it. His lips were still tingling with the sweet heat of hers. It was enough to change everything in that moment from happy and relaxed to strained and embarrassing. Nothing was the same.
"What happens now?" was all he could ask her. Sadly, she had no answer either.
I am a huge fan of Celtic Woman, and the first time I heard "Tir Na Nog", one of their newest hits, it captured my heart and soul that the feeling along with the lyrics were perfect for Vera and Keevan.
