Fuck them. Fuck the Sidemen. Fuck Simon and all his shit. He told them. He told the other guys.

"Vik! Open the goddamn door!" Josh shouted. I clenched my teeth in anger.

"Vik, just answer!" Simon yelled. Why? It wasn't like they were chasing me to be "supportive."

"Whatever, he's too busy bitching around and being an attention whore to answer THE FUCKING DOOR!" Ethan spat.

"FUCK OFF!" I screamed. I ran my hands through my hair and paced around my room. My arms were begging for something to feel, but I wasn't going to give in. It'd only be more painful on my fault, but there was no way in hell that I was going to give them satisfaction.

Before my brain could process it, I was curled up in a tiny ball in my office chair, crying. The Sidemen were assholes, but they were still my friends. They all turned against me. Still, I couldn't shake the oddly satisfied feeling beneath the betrayal, hatred, and loneliness.

I had gotten a reaction, unlike when Simon saw. They had pushed and shoved me, insulted me, and threatened to tweet about it, but it was something, wasn't it? The fact that I was thinking like that only proved that I was insane. I was definitely an attention whore at heart. And just in general.

I looked down at me forearms. My sleeves were sloppily rolled up due to the force and sarcasm that JJ had used to see my cuts. The carelessness had managed to reopen about half of them. Blood was dripping down my arm and staining the sleeves of my favorite jumper. I glared at the lack of empty space on my arms.

My phone started beeping like it was having a panic attack. It suddenly occurred to me that I was supposed to be in a Pack group call half an hour ago. I suppose it was almost like a business meeting, on our terms at least. In a panic, I grabbed tissues and stuck them to my arms, rolled my sleeves back down, and quickly looked for the group call in my Skype contacts. A loud groan escaped my lips as I realized that the first thing on the contacts sidebar would be ongoing calls. Surely they would be waiting for me. After taking a few deep breaths and making sure my eyes weren't puffy or anything, I joined the call.

"Hey guys," I muttered, quietly.

"Vik!" Preston exclaimed.

"Why are you late?" Mitch demanded.

"Where were you?" Rob questioned.

"Finally," Jerome muttered.

Lachlan looked distracted.

"I was busy and lost track of time," I said, trying to be as vague as possible.

"Was Vik distracted sexting his Little Lachy?" Rob teased, wiggling his eyebrows. My heart rate sped up and my fists clenched.

"I'm right here. I was here before Vik," Lachlan monotonously replied. My chest tightened at the thought of something being wrong. Was he okay?

"You were 10 minutes late, Lachlan," Preston reminded him.

"I was asleep. You know how fucked up my sleeping schedule is," Lachlan defended. "No thanks to you guys," he added, quietly.

"And your phone kept going off," Rob continued.

"My brother was too lazy to go downstairs to make his own food or even go to my room to ask me to make him something," Lachlan insisted.

"Sure," Preston and Rob said, simultaneously.

"Just fuck off," Lachlan sighed.

"Geez, what's wrong with him?" Jerome asked. Everyone shrugged. I just sat there. My brain wasn't processing what they were saying, but I heard it.

Was Lachlan alright? Did the guys do something? Did I do something? I wanted to do everything in my power to find out was wrong and fix it. I wanted to see a smile back on his face. But then my my heart dropped and my throat tightened as I remembered that Lachlan wasn't anything to me but a friend, a coworker. I had no right to think of him that way.

"Are you still salty about how Vik and I teamed you last night during Risk?" Rob taunted. Jerome laughed.

"You can't even whine, Lachlan! You killed me off - kicked me while I was down - so it's completely fair that you were wiped out," Jerome added.

I suddenly felt guilty. Lachlan was extremely pissed off after the game. The moment the recording ended, he left the call. At the time, it was absolutely hilarious, but afterwards I started feeling guilty. We killed Lachlan because he killed Jerome. Where was the logic in that?

"But you- it was totally-" Lachlan tried to say.

"What? Finish!" Jerome mockingly urged him.

"You know what? I don't care. I'm done-" Lachlan replied, with a raised voice and a sense of defeat.

"What are you going to do, Lachlan? Leave the-" Jerome interrupted. Then Lachlan interrupted him by leaving the call.

"Jesus, it's just a fucking game. It's not our fault that he's being a bitch about it," Jerome said under his breath. I wanted to talk back, but I was in no position to say anything. I sighed and ran a hand through my hair.

"What did Lachlan ever- wait. Vik, what's wrong with your sleeve?" Preston asked. I froze.

"What's wrong with my sleeve?" I lied, faking confusion. I looked down at my sleeves to see that bleeding was still staining through.

"Is that blood?" Mitch cautiously asked.

"No, we had a huge food fight in the kitchen. The guys thought it'd be funny to start splashing around food coloring," I explained, trying to sound legitimate.

"Only your sleeves have red food coloring? And there's no other colors on your shirt?" Mitch skeptically continued.

"The guys were aiming for my crotch," I replied bluntly. A chorus of "oh"s echoed through the call. "I totally forgot to change because I was in a rush to get to the call. Would you mind if I went to get changed?" I didn't wait for an answer as I turned off the camera and took off my headset.

I actually did change. I didn't want to ruin the jumper more than I already had. Lachlan had given it to me. It was one of the most important things to me, and it was just a dark grey jumper that said "I AM NOT VIKKSTAR123" in big letters.

Before I put on a hoodie, I peeled off the now red tissues and replaced them with fresh ones because I didn't have a first aid kit or anything in my room. In retrospect, I should've. As I started slipping my hoodie on, I heard yelling coming from my headset. Without turning my facecam on, I put my headset on and sat in my chair.

"-does that mean?! I was weak and you kicked me while I was down!' Jerome yelled. They were still fighting about that?

"It's just a fucking game!" Lachlan argued. I guess he rejoined the call.

"Look who's talking!" Jerome retorted. Lachlan's face was visibly red. Jerome was glaring into the camera. Rob had his hands over his face in a way that said "Are you serious?" Mitch looked like he couldn't find any words to say. Preston was confused.

"I'm mad because you guys are my only friends - literally my only friends - and then you guys just decided-" Lachlan shouted.

"You're my best friend, Lachlan! My best friend! Second only to Mitch. How do you think I feel about you killing me just because you were stronger?" Jerome defended.

"It's a game!" Lachlan repeated.

"Well, you don't have any right to make that argument, now do you?" Jerome finalized. Lachlan didn't look like he'd let Jerome have the last words.

"Well, maybe I'm just sick of everyone picking on me! I swear, you guys spend half of our group calls firing shots at the Sidemen for always being on Vik's case. No one seems to realize that you guys do the exact same thing to me! I know that I don't fit in that well with you guys, and I know that I try too hard to, but you don't need to remind me. You really don't…" It went dead silent on his side of the call; he must've muted his mic. He buried his face in his hands, leaving me feeling guilty. I wanted to cheer him back up.

"Hey, I'm back," I said weakly, turning my facecam back on. I kept my eyes on Lachlan as I spoke. I saw his head lift a bit and his fingers move a little so I could slightly see his eyes between his fingers. I could feel butterflies in my stomach when his eyes looked straight into his camera. What was this boy doing to me?

In the next five minutes, everything was back to normal. Lachlan was still hesitant to speak, and I kept getting distracted, but otherwise it was all fine. I guess it was all "banter." But that's all it ever is, now. Banter.

"So I was thinking that we could all do a 2v2v2 - obviously with the typical ships because I know the fans will love that-" Mitch started. He continued talking, but I heard yelling outside my room.

"I found the key to Vik's room!" I heard Ethan yell. Why was he even still here? He didn't live here.

"I-I'm sorry for interrupting, but I have to go. Now. Sorry. Bye," I muttered as quick as I could. I left the Skype call and jumped out of my seat.