Why did they care so much? Why were they bothering to take the time out of their day to make fun of the fact that I was suicidal? I just wanted them to leave me the fuck alone.
"Where did you even find the key?" I heard Simon ask.
"In one of the kitchen drawers," Ethan replied. His voice was getting louder. It wasn't possible for me to barricade the door; there was nothing heavy enough to stop them from opening the door that I could lift.
""What are we achieving by going into his room?" Josh questioned. I abruptly stopped scanning the room. Was he defending me?
"To see whether the little bitch is still acting like a fourteen year old girl.," Ethan answered.
"I was thinking more along the lines of taking his blades and seeing how he'll react," Josh suggested. I could hear his smirk through his words. There was a slight chance that he wasn't defending me.
A heavy feeling settled into my gut. I didn't know why I even thought for a second that one of them actually cared for me. Then I realized that I didn't have anywhere to go either. I was stuck in my room. I was a pretty good runner, but they'd either see me running out or they'd already be on the other side of the door.
As their voices got louder and louder, I grabbed my sandwich bag with my blades and my phone and hid in my closet. I was on the verge of a panic attack, and being in an enclosed space would freak me out even more. But I guess I was already in the metaphorical closet, wouldn't I do fine in a literal one?
The door opened.
"Vik?" Simon asked, sarcastically comforting. My breath quickened.
"Fuck you," I muttered. I was already feeling light headed. I actually hated them. But only five more days and I would be in the US, away from them, dealing with a whole new set of problems.
"Where could he have gone?" Simon said, under his breath.
"He's gone," Ethan stated.
"No shit, Sherlock," Josh replied, sarcasm laced into his voice.
"Should we still try to find his blades? It won't be as funny if he's not here," Ethan asked.
"That's true. But, seriously, where could he have gone?" Simon replied.
"Maybe he snuck out of the room when we weren't paying attention?" Ethan suggested.
"But that doesn't make sense. We would've seen him pass by," Josh pointed out, confused.
"You reckon he's hiding in this room?" Ethan said. My heart stopped. No, no, no…
"No, he's not dumb enough to do that. Let's just wait it out then?" Simon asked. I assumed that the other two had nodded as I heard them walk out of the room.
I was too scared to get out of the closet. My breathing didn't seem to be returning to normal anytime soon. What if they didn't actually leave? What if they knew I was in the closet, so they opened and closed the door to make me think they were gone, thus tricking me to get out? I closed my eyes and took a shaky deep breath.
I turned my phone and opened my messages.
To: Lachlan Power
Hey, I was wondering if you were available to talk?
Before thinking, I pressed send. It was 3 AM there. It was only 6 PM here. He wouldn't read it since he was probably sleeping. He was still pretty exhausted in the Skype call. Hell, would he even read it if he were awake? Besides, if I had something important to say, I'd call, not text. If it was very serious, I'd phone call instead of Skype call. Whatever.
I fell asleep in the closet. I only knew this because I woke up in a cramped, dark space. I moved my hands around, trying to slide open the closet door, but it wouldn't move. I started hyperventilating again.
"Dammit, open!" I shouted at the door. I didn't like being stuck in a closet one bit. "Come on, open, open, open-" I repeatedly mumbled. I suddenly paused. This wasn't the door. It was the wall. I turned around and slid the door open. Whoops.
It was dark outside. The sun was only setting when I was in the Skype call. When I checked my phone, I saw that it was 2 AM. Damn, I was in the closet for a while. Then I realized that I didn't have any notifications.
Lachlan didn't answer my text.
It sounded like I was some obsessed schoolgirl or something, but I was just really looking forward to talking to him.
I had noticed something a while ago. Talking to him put me on some sort of high. I felt so happy to hear his voice and to feel so comfortable around him. The moment I was alone, I felt… low. Like nothing happened and I was back to suffocating in my thoughts. That was not so happy.
So maybe it wasn't real love. Part of me strongly felt like it wasn't, but I denied it. I was simply infatuated with him, wasn't I? I was pretty sure. Most of the time, I wasn't sure why I liked him to begin with. He was an amazing friend, the sweetest guy I'd ever met, adorable in both looks and personality…
To put it in the most cliche and stereotypical words, I wasn't good enough for him. Even more stereotypically, I was 99% sure he was straight. When I first developed feelings for him, I doubted the chances he was heterosexual. It was clear he was straight when he introduced us (over Skype) to his girlfriend. I'd never seen him happier. When she cheated on her, he was an absolute wreck. Eventually, he recovered and went back to us happy self, but it was still not the same happiness he held when he was with her. I could never do that, could I?
That was when my door opened.
"Erm, V-Vik?" Simon stuttered. He didn't see me at first, but then he spotted me leaning against the closet.
"Get the fuck away from me," I said under my breath. I didn't even try to be aggressive, it was just a pathetic whimper.
"L-look, I'm sorry," he mumbled, nervous. I rolled my eyes.
"Can I just be alone?" I huffed.
"I regret doing what I did. I feel bad now," he stated.
"Sure. Whatever. Can I be alone now?"
"Please, Vik, just hear me out-" Simon started. My phone buzzed but he didn't notice. My brain focused on the words on the screen instead of Simon.
From: Lachlan Power
Surprise news! I've been dating someone the past few weeks, an old friend actually, and I was waiting for the right time to tell you guys. I was wondering if you'd be alright with her coming along on the trip for a bit? (I know it's a bit last minute :/)
She's really important to me. She's really the only reason I recovered from my last break up.
Deep breaths, Vik. Take deep breaths.
To: Lachlan Power
Yeah, of course! I'd love to meet her, especially if she's that important to you! :)
From: Lachlan Power
Thank you so much! You're the best :D
"Vik, are you listening?" Simon hesitantly asked.
I pulled my knees to my chest, hid my face in my sleeves, and tried not to cry.
I hope she treats you well, Lachlan...
