Alone

In misery's darkest cavern known, His useful care was ever nigh Where hopeless anguish pour'd his groan, And lonely want retir'd to die: - Samuel Johnson

Disclaimer: Criminal Minds is not mine.


The solitary rooms were down a level. They took the stairs and followed the doctor and a couple of security personel.

The corridor had 2 doors on each side. Big solid doors with windows made of hugely thick security glass so they would watch the patients on suicide watch and just generally monitor them properly without needing to go in the room too often.

It made Derek's skin crawl to think of people being kept in places like this. He had the shake the feeling of sorrow from his head and remember why they were there.

Aaron was aware of why they were there, he just wished they weren't and for some twisted reason he was beginning to feel this was partly his doing. The doctor stopped in front of a door and flicked a switch. Morgan and Hotch stood and looked.

Floyd was laying on a stone floor curled up protectively around the manacles keeping him in place. His hands were behind his back, and he had heavy leg irons. There was a contraption around his head covering his mouth. What small parts of his skin they could see was bruised and bloodied, though with his blood or someone else's they didn't know.

Hotch put a hand up and touched the window with his fingers. "Is this totally necessary?"

The doctor snorted. "You should ask Nurse Olivia that."

"I need to go in and talk to him."

"Hotch!" Morgan stepped forwards trying to be the non emotional head for Hotch, but he didn't like to see men treated like animals either.

Hotch didn't move from his position at the window. "He won't hurt me. Let me in please. I need to communicate with him properly."

The door hissed as the seal around it opened. "We will have to lock you in. Remove your jacket, belt and shoes please. We can't afford to let him have a weapon. He handed over the things requested and removed his tie too and then as the door opened he walked into the stinking hole which was Floyd's home for now. Hotch stood still and waited for the door to be closed and locked behind him. He then walked slowly over to where Floyd was laying. Aaron could hear his heart thumping in his chest not knowing how Flanders was going to react to him.

Carefully he reached out and touched Floyd on the shoulder. "I wanted to talk to you."

A deep down moan.

"Floyd I am going to put my trust in you and remove that gag."

Nothing.

"I need your assurance first."

Floyd rolled over slightly so he could look at Hotch. Aaron was looking into deep dark eyes full of despair and pain. He could see the redness of someone who had been crying and he could see either a calm sanity, or someone so far gone they didn't now who they were anymore. He decided to go for his first options and for some unknown reason trust him. He undid the buckles on the back of the gag and pulled it off Floyd's head, throwing it over towards the door.

"What happened?" Hotch pushed hair off Floyd's face.

"I wanted to kill the bitch." A deep bubbling cough.

"I meant with Reid, but yes that too."

Alarm flashed across Floyd's eyes. "Has something happened to him?"

Hotch shook is head. "He came to see you?"

Floyd turned so his back was to Hotch. Still sitting on the floor. "Don't let him see me again."

"I need to know what transpired so I can help him. Talk to me Floyd. What happened? Why did you attack the nurse?"

A muttering followed by a cough deep dark hacking. Aaron could see the tension across the back of Floyd's shoulders. He carefully put a hand there. "I want to understand you Floyd. Help me out here."

"Why am I here? In this place?" A quiet voice followed by more coughing.

"You know the reason." Frown as he listened to the coughing start again.

Floyd rolled over to look at Aaron. "I would die for him. I will die for him. I am dying for him. Whatever you might think."

"If there was something I could do for you, I would, but only because of this connection you have with Reid."

"I broke the connection Agent Aaron Hotchner. I told him to talk to you. I won't be in contact with him again. I don't want him to see me like this. Didn't kill her. I wanted to. I tried to. They tazered me. They take me from my medications and wonder why I act up. They are fucking morons Agent Aaron Hotchner. They are meant to be the professionals. They don't know a bloody thing."

Hotch could see Floyd's hand shaking as he lay back down on his side coughing and spitting out blood. "Floyd you need medical help. You need therapy. You need to be medicated and kept away from people."

"No – I need Spence. I am nothing without him. Now go and leave me alone. He will be wanting you. Talk to him Aaron. Help him."

…………………

The drive back was almost as silent as when they arrived. Morgan finally broke the silence. "Are you going to tell me what he said?"

"He is dying. How do I tell Reid that?"

"You don't have to. Just don't mention it. Reid doesn't even know what day it is, he will be distracted from thinking about the man who raped him and sold his body to the nearest pervert."

"It's not like that Derek."

Morgan looked across at Hotch wondering what exactly Floyd had said to him.

"It looks like it to me Hotch. This is why they have orders not to talk to the 'man'. He manipulates with his words." Morgan scratched his head and frowned at his boss.

……………….

His hair was hanging down over his face as he sat on his bed slowly rocking back and forth. Hotch just stood and looked at him for a while. He could see that his hands were shaking, and he could hear a faint whimpering sound.

Silently he walked over and whispered out his name "Spencer."

He didn't react. He didn't expect him to. Hotch put a hand on Reid's leg. He felt the sudden tension as the muscles went into a near spasm at the touch.

"It's alright. I went to see Floyd. He is fine. Everything is good. He asked me to come and talk to you."

Reid's head turned painfully slowly and the red puffed up eyes look at Hotch. "H h he h h hates m m me."

"No – no he doesn't. He is feeling emotions he is not used to. It's freaked him out. He has done some very stupid things but he does not hate you Spencer."

"He has c c cut off c c comuni – com – com – he w w wont talk t to me."

Aaron wrapped an arm around his young agent's shoulder and pulled him close. "He doesn't want to bombard you with these feelings he has. He is trying to protect you."

A deep sobbing breath. "F f feelings?"

"Spencer I think maybe he is scared. He cares deeply for you. He hasn't got the back up of his self medication, and its confusing him. I doubt fear is a feeling he has come across before – or love." Aaron felt Spencer lean into him and sigh.

They sat for about half an hour, Aaron trying to soak up some of the pain Spencer was in, and Spencer trying to find a way to ask Aaron to do something for him. It was Spencer who broke the silence.

"Aaron – Hotch – I need you to do something for me." His voice was low and slightly rough sounding.

"Anything – what do you need?"

"I n n need to be alone – p please – I don't w w want you to visit me anymore." He felt Hotch's arm tighten.

"Spencer?"

"Please. Just leave me alone." Reid pulled back away from Hotch and lay foetal on his bed with his arms wrapped tightly around his legs.

Hotch got up slowly his face hard and angry. Not at any one person, but at this situation. As he left the room he thought he heard the quiet crying of Reid as he rocked on his bed. His toes curling and uncurling in time to the rocking.

……………………..

Floyd lay where Hotch had left him. The only sign he was alive was the curling and uncurling of his toes and the rhythm of the gentle rocking motion. He heard the door hiss open and he opened his eyes. He had every intention of defending himself against the onslaught he had come to expect but as he turned to bite and rip into the nearest person he started to cough. He felt a terrible ripping pain from deep inside and then felt the shock of an electrical prod of some kind – making him twitch and shake. As he lay incapacitated once again wet and coughing up blood they strapped the contraption back around his head.

Someone kicked him a few times very hard in the groin. "A message from Nurse Olivia. I would beware little man. The messages will get more elaborate when she is able to deliver them herself.

………………….

Nietzsche wrote: - It is by invisible hands that we are bent and tortured worst. (Thus Spake Zarathustra)

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