A/N: Thanks for the wonderful reviews severelybabykryptonite; Nay766; KK; shipnation; BlkPunk311; ssaamm23; simple1234; literaturechick; Beautiful77; Guestz; Guest; lanie-love09; RichonneSlag; zeejack; CodeName-M.e; crypticnotions; and sleepywitchysamurai.
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"What?" asked Rick, completely taken aback by Michonne's revelation. "You're gonna do what?
She sighed.
"I think I should find somewhere else to stay because…"
"Wait, wait. You don't want to live with us anymore?" he queried as he stood and began to pace.
"I do want to live with you and the kids, but maybe it's for the best that I don't; maybe we should spend a little time away from each other," Michonne proffered.
Rick ran both hands over his face, stopped and then looked at Michonne.
"We haven't been getting on, Rick…"
"So that's a reason to run away, is it?" he asked. "Like before at the prison."
Now Michonne stood.
"That is not what I was doing," she said.
"Oh really? Seemed like it to me," Rick said.
"What the fuck ever, Rick. This is what I'm talking about. You just get so pissed about god knows what and then you go off on me. I don't like this. I don't like how we're at odds all the time. You gotta start talkin' to me," she said almost pleadingly.
"You wanna talk?" Rick scoffed. "Nah, I think you just wanna run away."
Michonne took a deep breath and let her annoyance subside before she spoke again.
"No, Rick; I'm not running away. I want some space to breathe. This, all of this, it's suffocating me. I don't want to argue with you all the time…"
"And I don't wanna be pissed all the time…"
"Well maybe I should just get my things and go," she said, tears forming in her eyes.
Rick felt a lump in his throat.
"No," he said. "I'll go. You stay here with the kids."
"Rick, I, that's not what I…"
"It's fine. I need time to get my head right. If you need some space, I'll find somewhere to crash and give you that space," he said calmly.
Rick did not want to lose Michonne, but he knew she was right; they did need some time apart and there was no way he was going to put her out of their house. She would be there to protect the children and be safe herself; he would not be too far away and he would not need to worry about them.
"This isn't what I wanted, Rick…"
"The kids will be safe with you; I trust you more than anyone," he proffered softly.
"Thank you," she whispered. "And when you finally feel like talking to me, you know where I am."
xXxXx
Carl spent the remainder of the day locked in his bedroom. Michonne had told him that she would be finding somewhere else to stay for a short while and Carl had taken it to mean she was leaving them. Now that he found out that it was because of a rift between Michonne and his father, and that Rick was moving out, it still did not sit well with him.
"Dinner," he heard Michonne call through the door.
Carl stalked downstairs and was deflated to see that Rick was not there.
"So Dad's really not coming back then?" he said sadly as he took a seat.
"It's just for a little while, Carl. Until we sort some things out," Michonne explained.
"What things?" asked Carl as he used his for to shift the food on his plate.
"Some things between me and him," Michonne sighed, not wanting to give too much away.
"Why is he bein' such a dick?" asked Carl. "I know what this is all about. Why won't he just say it?"
"Say what?" she asked.
"Say that he loves you and get on with it," Carl gave as Michonne tried to look away.
"I don't know," she said quietly. "Really, I don't know."
…..
Michonne pulled her hair back tightly and tied it into a high ponytail as she was getting ready for bed. The day had been a long and emotionally draining one. The house seemed empty without Rick; the void that his absence left behind felt abysmal and deep. Michonne's head hurt.
She slowly made her way down stairs to check the locks before turning in; as she went to the front door, she peered out of the window to find Rick sitting on the front step with his head hanging low. Michonne felt a sharp pang in her heart at the sight of him. She opened the door and spoke in hushed tones.
"Rick?" she questioned. "What are you doin'?"
His head lifted immediately at the sound of her voice; he sighed and turned his head.
"I just wanted to say goodnight to y'all," he said, sounding deflated.
"The kids are in bed already, but come on in," said Michonne as she stepped out of the way to let Rick enter.
He looked at her with such a plaintive expression that Michonne had to avert her gaze.
"Are you okay?" she asked, feeling somewhat guilt stricken for the entire situation.
"I'll be fine," he answered in earnest. "I won't wake 'em, I'm just gonna check on 'em."
"Of course, Rick. You don't have to tell me. The baby's in my room," Michonne offered as she took a seat on the sofa.
Rick nodded and then proceeded up the stairs until he came to Michonne's door. He went in to find Judith's crib against the wall and his sleeping daughter inside of it, oblivious to the troubles of the adults. Rick smiled at her, checked the windows and then kissed his middle and index fingers before pressing his fingers to Judith's forehead lovingly.
"Goodnight, Baby Girl," he whispered. "Daddy will be home soon."
Rick left the door cracked ever so slightly as he tiptoed out of Michonne's room. He then crept quietly into Carl's room and was not surprised to find the teenager still awake.
"Dad!" the boy said excitedly as he sat up in bed. "Are staying? What's going on?"
"No, son. I've just come to say goodnight before I go on watch," Rick explained.
Carl's shoulders slumped at the news.
"What's with the two of you?" he asked. "Can't things just go back to how they were? First Michonne was gonna leave, and now you have; I…I just want things to go back to how they were."
Rick took a seat next to his son; he sometimes forgot that Carl was still very young and did not understand many things.
"I know, so do I. But Michonne and me, we need some time apart," said Rick.
"But why?" asked Carl. "I don't get what happened between the two of you."
"Michonne needs space. I haven't been fair with her lately," Rick explained. "So I gotta give her some time to herself. I need time to think as well."
"To think about what, Dad?" Carl pressed.
"Well, about a few things. About how I've acted since we got here; how I've treated Michonne when all she's ever done was be a good and loyal person to me. There are things that need fixin', Carl. And I gotta do what I can to fix them. If that means spending some time over at Morgan's place, then that's what I gotta do. I love you kids, and Michonne so I need to be better before I can be around you all," Rick offered sincerely. "I can't keep bein' this angry person who lashes out."
"You lashed out at Michonne?" Carl asked.
Rick nodded.
"Yes, I did; a few times actually. I'm not proud of it and I have to learn to deal with my feelings better," he proffered. "Michonne needs a break from me; she needs me out of her hair putting extra pressure on her. She needs time to herself. This is how she's gonna get it."
"What about me and Judy? Does she need time away from us?" asked the teen.
"No. Not at all. What's going on is between me and Michonne; you and Judy haven't done anything wrong. It doesn't change how we feel about you kids. Besides, I'm not goin' very far and I'll see you every day," said Rick.
Carl smiled.
"Okay, as long as you and Michonne know what you're doin'," Carl said.
"I think we do," said Rick.
…..
Rick found Michonne sitting on the sofa where he had left her; her legs pulled up to her chest as she hugged them. He approached her slowly and placed a gentle hand to her bare shoulder.
"Wanna walk me out?" he asked quietly.
Michonne smiled a little and then nodded as she got to her feet and followed Rick outside. She wrapped her arms over her chest in a self-soothing manner as they stood out the front.
"I had a good talk to Carl," said Rick as he looked out across the sleepy street.
"He's pissed," Michonne said.
"Yeah. But he'll be fine. He doesn't understand, but he's tryin' to," Rick offered, finally turning to face Michonne.
They stood in silence a moment, each staring sadly at the other; wishing that things had been different between them.
"Why does this feel like a break up?" Michonne finally asked with a weak smile.
Rick tilted his head to the side.
"I dunno, but it really does," he agreed.
Silence
Rick cleared his throat.
"I should get goin'," he said as he shifted to make his way down the steps.
Michonne nodded as a lump formed in her throat.
"Okay," she whispered.
Rick stood in place as if he did not want to move.
"I do care about you," he said finally. "I'm just not good at talkin' about it."
She nodded once more.
"I know."
Rick dipped his head in her direction.
"Okay. Goodnight," he said as he began to walk away.
"Goodnight, Rick," Michonne replied as she felt a solitary tear escape from the corner of her eye.
