A/N: So, here's a new chappie! I know there's not a lot going on right now, but I want Adam and Lawrence to slowly get used to the fact that they're desperately love each other… All my fellow ChainShippers know what I mean, but the cuties don't! Annoys the hell out of you, doesn't it?
Sarcasms And Understandings
"Are they nice to you here?"
"Not so much. They refused to let me see you for a while there."
"Noted. When I get back to work I can bite them in the nose, if you want."
Adam chuckled.
"That's okay. I'm sarcastic enough to cover for an average nose-bite."
"Are you saying you're better than me at being mean to doctors?" Lawrence said in faked shock.
"Try me. My sarcasms break down the strongest of doctors."
Lawrence smiled.
"Kids today…" He said, shaking his head with a sigh.
Adam dropped an eight of heart on the pile of cards.
"Are they good to you? They should be sweet as hell."
"Why's that?" Lawrence asked, scoffing. "As soon as I open my mouth they think I'm trying to control them with a iron hand, and then they start going on about that as a patient, I have no authority."
"I guess that annoys the shit out of you," Adam said with a small smile.
"It does. They know as well as I do that they can't do a thing without me, so they might as well let me boss over them, despite the fact that I'm in a hospital bed."
That forced another laugh from Adam as he threw the cards he had on hand onto the table.
"Gin."
Lawrence made a face and gathered the cards up. He was planning to shuffle them, but when Adam started talking again, he had to drop the cards and look at the man in front of him.
"But you seem like some sort of uncrowned king around here. You know, before, when your nurse tried to talk to my doctor, at first he wouldn't listen to her, but as soon as she mentioned 'doctor Gordon' he hung on to every word she said."
Lawrence stretched himself as much as he could in his hospital bed and looked smug.
"So it was because of me that we could get together after a minor eternity?"
Adam looked at him, amused. He barely seemed to notice that the cards were on the table in a forgotten stack.
"That's a way to put it, yes. Do you want me to drop down on my knees in front of you and kiss your feet?"
"Of course you will. You are all below me, tiny insignificant creatures!" Lawrence said and reached his arms up in a victory gesture.
"Don't get up on too high horses. I was so fucking worried about you I'd probably get down here anyway."
He didn't really understand where that "fucking" came from. Maybe he couldn't express any tenderness without throwing in a cursing.
Lawrence seemed to notice, because he smiled, sort of overseeing, and thought that it was weird, that it felt like he'd known Adam for all his life. That it felt like everything Adam did was predictable. Like how he couldn't say anything flattering without also saying "fucking", or that he fidgeted with the top of his cards when they played.
This is insane, Lawrence continued to think as he saw Adam watching him with embarrassed love in his eyes. I've known him, well, the real him, not the panicking, quippy him, for about a day, and I already know everything he does before he does it. I know about his nervous habits, his sense of humor and his laugh. And yet, I still don't know him.
And you claim yourself to be so smart and perfect, a voice in his head said. You know all this because he, after just a day, like you said, is your best friend. The bonds you have with him are very unusual, so they grow in an unusual way. You'll see, in just a while, you'll love him like you love Diana. You just made a friend for life, doctor Gordon.
As if he had read Lawrence's thoughts, Adam said, as he leaned his chin against the table:
"How are Allison and Diana? You get to see them, right?"
"Yeah. The nurse complained about that, too, but she was still easier to talk to about them than about you."
Adam smiled and lowered his eyes.
"I guess the rumor about my dreaded sarcasms have spread all the way up to this floor. But how are they? It's not every day your husband shows up with a missing foot."
"And that's good, if you ask me. Allison was devastated, but she didn't want to show it. Diana didn't really get that I'd actually sawed my foot off. And since it's back now, she doesn't have to know anything. At least, not right now. I guess I have to explain to her when she's older…"
He finished the sentence with a sigh, and Adam understood him. Not even the most sensible teenage daughter would get over the fact that her father had sawed his foot off. Or, she wouldn't do it fast.
"Honey, when you were six years old, I voluntarily sawed off my foot for you." What dinner conversation would you fit that into?
"What will you do when you get out of here?" Lawrence suddenly asked, and the confrontation made Adam lift his head and shift his gaze, nervously.
"I… I don't know… I guess I should try to get a real job… I don't want to get back to that… Hell, I didn't even want to start with it… And… I'll probably need therapy or something…"
The words came in ashamed thrusts, and he was blushing quickly.
God, Lawrence thought. The kid's, what, twenty or something! He's not supposed to need therapy yet! What the hell have you done to him, Jigsaw?!
"I…" Adam continued, and by now he was so flushed that it looked like he'd fallen asleep in the sun. "God, I'm a pussy… But I think I need… Someone… To get me… Through this… Or something…"
Lawrence looked at him, frowning.
"You have no one out there?"
"No need to rub it in," Adam mumbled.
His sarcasms were back, but his face was still red.
"You have me," Lawrence said before he managed stop himself. "You can talk to me."
Adam smiled uncertainly. He still didn't dare to look at Lawrence.
"Sure. But you're a doctor, and I'm broke, so I won't be able to…"
"Stop it," Lawrence cut him off. "That's not why you can talk to me. You know that."
At these words, Adam could, even though he knew he'd regret it later, let the guard he had held up for the last twenty years down. But just for a second.
"Yeah, I know," he said quietly, still staring at the table. "Thanks."
xxxxxxxxxxx
Lawrence didn't get much sleep the following night.
He tossed and turned in his bed, he fell half asleep and he nodded off, but he couldn't sleep. And even those lonely minutes he could, he wished he couldn't.
These fucking nightmares…
He thought he'd get a heart attack when he heard the door open. And during the second he didn't hears Adam's gentle voice, he just managed to think one single thought:
It's Jigsaw.
But it wasn't. The person who padded into his room, with a pillow under his arm and dark marks under his eyes, really was Adam.
"Lawrence?" He whispered.
You could tell he hadn't gotten much sleep, either. Lawrence propped himself up on his elbows and looked at him with furrowed brows.
"Adam? What's the matter?"
"I…" Adam said quietly, and his stuttering insecurity was back. "I can't sleep…"
Lawrence smiled sleepily and thought about all those times when Diana had came up to him where he sat, buried in his work, as she clutched on to her teddy bear, and forced him to check her room.
And he felt the same compassioned tenderness for Adam as he did to her.
"And I was wondering if…" Adam began. "If…"
Lawrence knew what he wanted, but he waited. Adam twisted his hands, he opened and closed his mouth and seemed to be fumbling for good words, but he didn't say anything.
"If…" He said again.
"Yes, Adam?" Lawrence said, amused.
"If…" Adam said one more time before he gave up, bowed his head and sighed.
"Ask me if I want to sleep in your bed," he finally said, and seemed annoyed over his own weakness, even though he hadn't really asked.
Pride is so hard to swallow. Especially if all your life, up until now, have circled around keeping it.
"You want to sleep in my bed tonight, Adam?" Lawrence asked and made some space next to him on the bed, since he already knew the answer.
"Yes," Adam said, grumping, walked up to the bed and laid down.
Lawrence covered them both with the blanket. Their intimacy somehow got bigger when they laid like this, body against body, under the same covers, pressed up against each other.
"It's okay to ask about things like that," Lawrence said softly. "You know that, too."
Adam grunted for an answer, and Lawrence smiled against his shoulder. He hesitated for a moment before he stroke Adam's hair, and when he didn't pull away, he put an arm around the younger man's waist and drew him closer.
Lawrence couldn't see it, since he was facing his friend's back, but as he felt the arm around his waist Adam, smiled modestly and closed his eyes, because he actually felt safe. He couldn't remember the last time he'd felt that way.
Maybe they could both sleep tonight.
Young love… Liked it? Don't forget to review!
