SexeiAlexeiGurl: Thanks! Promise I won't keep him away for too long ;) Btw, I swear those professors conspire against students "hmm, lets go all out this week and make them cry..." (growls)

Messr-Paddifoots-love: No need to cry LOL, I'm nowhere near finished. Another update!

DollFace080: Thanks! I'm glad the chapter worked. So now it's back to young Niamh. Hope you like it!

Ms-PadfootVerona: You're forgiven :D And of course I missed you! Once again your review made my day. Thanks! Of course I love Johnny Depp. I mean, how can you not? The man is a good-looking genius. It doesn't get much better than that LOL.
Right, the trailer. I completely loved it and then it got to the part with Sirius in the fire and I went "What the...! You've got to be kidding me!" Please tell me this is not all we get to see of him in the entire film! I think I read somewhere that Sirius had a tiny part in this film, but this can't be all! And indeed, what happened to the green flames! Did you get the email on X's death by the way?

darklady5289: Here's the update! I'm glad you thought the chapter was a good idea. I really wasn't sure about it. Back to the 'real' story now.

Jennie: Thanks a lot! I hope you like the next chapter.

hpandfriendsruletheworld: Thanks! Great that you thought the chapter worked. And here's the next one...


Death Eaters

My brother married Alexia Malfoy at the beginning of November and his wedding was the first time I spoke to Lucius since the Christmas ball at his manor the year before. Cool and composed as always he congratulated me with my brother's wedding and my engagement.

"Thank you," I smiled. I was on a roll tonight. I played the part of the pure-blood witch with fervour and rumours about my unusual behaviour silenced quickly when they saw Evan was not vexed about it at all -- or at least pretended not to be. I had danced quite a few times with him and he was the ever charming and handsome wizard. Appearance was everything.

I had to admit I rather enjoyed myself. I mixed my friendly behaviour with the expected arrogance, pride, and condescending attitude, amusing myself in silence when I heard people talking behind my back, "She takes after her father." I probably outdid even Bellatrix when it came to haughtiness and pureblood superiority. I knew this wedding was the perfect opportunity to show how close I was to my family, so I spent a lot of time talking to my brother and Alexia, Deirdre, and my cousins.

After gracefully accepting congratulations with my engagement for about the hundredth time and casually avoiding inquiries about the postponed wedding at the same time I decided it was time for a break and got myself a glass of champagne. As I looked at the guests, I pondered about how much power there was in a name. Most people didn't look beyond the name Carden. How convenient, I thought cunningly.

Lucius's eyes had followed me the entire evening and when I stepped out onto the balcony for some fresh air, he came after me. I wiped the satisfied smile from my lips before I turned around and leaned my hip against the balustrade. I mentally sharpened my claws, while swirling the champagne in my glass.

After the obligatory congratulations there was a silence. With a small smirk I looked at my ex-boyfriend. He was wearing black dress robes with some dark green accents and his long, blonde hair was tied at the nape of his neck. His cold, grey eyes flashed when he looked at my smirk.

I let the silence endure, secretly enjoying the uncomfortable position Lucius was in.

"So," he said finally, "Evan it is then."

"Yes," I drawled and traced a finger lazily over the white limestone of the balustrade.

"May I inquire as to why you've accepted his proposal?"

Ever the gentleman, I thought and snorted audibly. Isn't it ironic that some of the most well brought-up men in the country commit the most heinous crimes. Lucius raised an eyebrow at my unlady-like behaviour.

"Instead of yours, you mean?" I asked sweetly.

"I suppose."

My smirk became slightly malevolent. I suppose it was part of my Slytherin personality. I loved to see him squirm. But Lucius had his uses, so I decided not to push it too far.

Looking honestly at him, I said, "I didn't see any other way out than end it, at the time. I am very determined to prove to myself that I can make it on my own, and Evan gave me enough time to do so."

"What makes you think I wouldn't have done the same?"

"Lucius," I purred. "Be honest. Would you have?" No chance in hell.

The corner of his mouth curled up. "You've known me far too long."

"Ah, yes. Those good old times," I sighed dramatically.

"Well, for old times' sake then," Lucius insisted, "dance with me."

I consented and he put his hand on the small of my back to lead me to the dance floor. After dancing a waltz with him, he walked me to Alexia and my brother, who were talking to some of their friends, including Evan. I did not miss the sharp look Evan sent Lucius, so I made sure to stand close to Evan, and let the arm he placed around my middle pull me even closer. Lucius's eyes narrowed slightly, but he turned away and began a conversation with his cousin Alexia.

Alexia looked wonderful. She was a typical winter's bride with her long, white-blonde hair loosely pinned up and covered under a delicate veil. She had a skin so fair it rivalled Rowan's and mine and bright blue eyes. She was tall and her gown showed off her slim body.

Rowan looked proudly at his wife. I bit back the jealousy I felt. Married to the one he loves. I pushed Sirius resolutely out of my mind when Evan included me in the conversation and I chatted along with him, until Alexia's attention was diverted and she walked off to talk to her parents. Conversations slowly stopped. Evan, Lucius, Bellatrix, Rodolphus, Rowan, Antonin… My stomach clenched in discomfort and a little fear when I realised I was standing in a group that was made up of Death Eaters.

They fixed their eyes on me.

Then Bellatrix spoke, "Why don't you join us on a little Muggle-hunt tomorrow?"


I contacted Dumbledore immediately the next morning. Though he tried not to show it, he was worried that the Death Eaters wanted me to prove myself first, instead of taking me to Voldemort right away. He urged me to be extremely cautious. I owled Quintin Baldric that I could not come to work today and spent the day with Dumbledore to prepare myself. The Occlumency was not only necessary to shield my memories, it also helped me suppress my emotions. I got a horrible feeling in my stomach whenever I thought of what was going to happen that night, but Dumbledore forbade me to think about it.

At night Dumbledore left to go back to Hogwarts and I was as prepared as I could be. I was on my own now.

Evan came for me close to midnight. He wore a heavy, pitch black cloak that obscured his body, except for his face, because he had slipped the hood from his head.

I grabbed my own cloak, which I had turned black only that afternoon, and put it on. From inside his cloak Evan pulled out two white masks. "You're not a Death Eater yet," he said, "but we don't want you exposed." I held out my hand and he gave me a mask. Maybe it was my imagination, but the skull-like mask seemed to made of ice.

I tore my gaze from the mask when Evan said, "I have to admit I was not sure this was a good idea…" He paused and eyed me up and down with a look in his eyes I could not quite decipher, a dark smile appearing on his face, "But I think I'll revise my opinion."

I hooked my finger in the neckline of his cloak and pulled him to me to kiss him. Evan made an approving sound and slid his hands under my cloak. I broke the kiss before things could get out of hand. "I'm glad you see it that way," I smirked.

"Tease," Evan grumbled and put his mask on. After he had pulled his hood over his head, he commanded, "Hold my arm. I'll lead you." His voice sounded strangely distorted through the mask. The sight of a Death Eater right in front of me sent ripples of fear crawling over my skin and I quickly used the Occlumency techniques to block my emotions. I put on my own mask and placed a steady hand on his arm.

The familiar sense of Apparating overtook me and we landed in a street. A Muggle street. A few cloaked figures were already waiting and several more Apparated right after us.

"This is a Muggle street, I presume?" I asked Evan.

He nodded and looked around, his face no doubt showing disgust behind the mask.

"They live like this?" I asked, putting horror and revulsion in my voice. "All together like that?" Actually, the small terraced houses were quite charming, but a rich and spoilt pure-blood would never admit that.

"Yes," Evan answered distastefully.

"And here I thought we were raiding this place to get rid of the stench of Muggles; not to do them a favour." I snorted contemptuously.

I heard a small chuckle behind me and turned around. Three cloaked figures walked towards us. "No doubt that comment came from my sister," the tallest of them said.

"Indeed," Evan answered.

"Is everyone here?" The voice was almost unrecognizable behind the mask, but I had no difficulty identifying Lucius's drawl.

"Yes," Rowan confirmed.

"It's the third house on the right," a female voice spoke. Bellatrix.

"We're hunting down someone in particular?" I asked.

"A professor from a Muggle university," Bellatrix answered. "Apparently he is of some influence."

"But we're going to take out the rest of his family as well. Just for fun," Lucius chuckled. The others laughed softly.

I turned my head to the house in question, where our unsuspecting victims were asleep. What am I doing? I can't do this. I can't do this!

I felt I was going to panic. I desperately tried to control my breathing, cautious not to start hyperventilating. Faltering now would mean a certain death. My heart jumped in my throat when Lucius waved his wand. The street lanterns flickered twice, before they were extinguished. We were suddenly enveloped in darkness. The Death Eaters started walking towards the house. It was an eerie sight; about eight hooded figures slowly moving closer in silence. Their cloaks hid their feet, so that they seemed to glide over the pavement.

We stopped at the front door. "Would you like to do the honours?" Bellatrix asked me.

Without a word I stepped forward and performed the Alohomora charm. The door swayed open and revealed a tiny hallway. I stepped inside, followed by the others.

Evan and Lucius took the lead and ordered the others to get the family. I was paired with a Death Eater I didn't recognize. We climbed the stairs and walked to the farthest bedroom.

I could not make out much in the dark. I pointed my wand at the sleeping figure in the bed. "Silencio," I muttered.

The Death Eater next to me pointed his wand at the figure as well. Ropes shot out of the tip of his wand with a bang. The figure in the bed jumped up. I groaned inwardly in deep misery. A small girl of about eight years stared at us in horror, trying to scream and clutching at her throat when no sound came from her. The ropes bound her arms and legs quickly.

"Mobilicorpus," the Death Eater mumbled and the little girl was lifted into the air. I followed them downstairs, clenching my jaw tightly, knowing that there was no way out for both the girl and myself.

Evan, Lucius and Bellatrix were already waiting with what I presumed was another child of the professor: a twelve-year-old boy.

"Well done," Evan said appreciatively. I nodded, not trusting my voice.

Suddenly a loud crash came from upstairs and even louder screams of a man and woman.

"Emmy! Run!" an unknown male voice bellowed.

"Crucio!" a Death Eater shouted and a woman's screams tore through the house. I heard a loud thump when her body fell to the ground. The unknown male voice I identified as the professor's roared in anger and shock.

A red flash could be seen and another loud thump came from upstairs. The professor had been Stupefied. A few seconds later the remaining Death Eaters came downstairs. The limp bodies of the professor and his wife hovered in front of them.

"Idiots!" Lucius hissed. "The whole street has been alerted by now. Hurry up."

Evan pointed his wand at the little girl and said in a cold voice, "Avada Kedavra." A flash of green light hit her in the chest. She fell to the ground. Dead.

Completely frozen I stared at the child. From somewhere in the back of my mind came the notion that I should be extremely grateful for the mask, because I would not have been able to hide the expression on my face without it. The girl's blonde hair was spread out over the floor and I caught myself staring at it. From the corner of my eye I saw another green flash. The boy toppled backwards, empty eyes staring at the ceiling.

The woman's wails seemed to be tearing through my brain. Though she was bound with ropes, she tried to scoot closer to her children. Bellatrix hissed in annoyance. "Crucio!"

The woman cried and writhed on the floor. Lucius watched it for a moment, before he said, "Enough. We don't have time for this now. Avada Kedavra."

The professor made a sound like a wounded animal. I leaned against a dresser in what I hoped was a casual manner. I folded my arms to hide the shaking. I could not find a way to describe what I was feeling. I shouldn't have been feeling anything, but the Occlumency lessons had all vanished from my head. I was almost overcome by fear, shock and abhorrence. All I could do was try to hide it.

Every illusion that I had; every euphemism; every false impression that it might not be so bad… It was all blown away with one flick of Evan's wand. I was left staring at the raw reality.

"Finish him," Evan ordered.

"Let her do it," Bellatrix hissed. My head shot up. Surely she didn't mean… The precarious situation I was in hit me like a sledgehammer. I desperately began blocking my emotions again and tried to summon enough hatred to perform an Unforgivable. It was hopeless; I would never be ready in time.

"No," Evan snapped. "She has never done an Unforgivable before and we don't have enough time to correct her mistake if it goes wrong."

"Fine," Bellatrix gave in and pointed her wand at the distraught professor. "Avada Kedavra!" Now the entire family lay lifeless on the floor, their faces frozen in fear and grief.

The Death Eaters left them and walked out of the house. The neighbours' windows were illuminated and the sirens of Muggle cars grew louder.

Rowan pointed his wand at the sky. "Morsmordre!" An enormous skull of green smoke was raised into the air, right above the house.

"I'll report to the Dark Lord," Lucius said and Disapparated.

Evan grabbed my arm and we Apparated to my apartment. "You did well," he complimented me after I had taken my mask off.

I had had enough time to regain composure and narrowed my eyes at him. "Why didn't you let me take care of that Muggle?" I asked angrily. I threw my mask on the sofa.

"Correct me if I'm wrong, but I was under the impression that you had never done an Unforgivable before," Evan answered, while taking off his own mask.

"I could have tried," I protested. "II wouldn't have failed."

"We didn't have enough time." Evan chuckled. "You're an eager one, aren't you?"

I shrugged. Evan walked closer to me and undid the clasp of my cloak. It fell in a puddle at my feet. His hand moved to my hair and pulled out the pins that held it back. The heavy curls cascaded down my back. He wove his hand through them. "I have to say I rather like this," he said in a low voice.

I knew he wasn't talking about the curls. I couldn't back away from this man that got turned on by killing defenceless people. Evan pressed his lips against mine and sought out my tongue. Resigned, I kissed him back, but I pushed him away when his hands started roaming over my body.

"I have to get up early," I explained, "and I'm already tired."

"Fine. Goodnight," Evan said.

"Night," I mumbled and watched him Disapparate, no doubt off to find another woman to satisfy himself with.

Wondering where that cynicism suddenly came from, I shook my head and wiped my mouth. I rummaged through a drawer to find parchment and a quill. I sat down to write Dumbledore a note.

I'm fine. See you on meeting tomorrow.

N.

I stared in disgust at the shaky handwriting. I tore the written part from the rest of the parchment and rewrote the note. A drop of water landed on the parchment, smudging the ink.

Great. The roof is leaking, I thought annoyed. My second attempt was even more pathetic and I ripped another piece from the parchment. Suddenly I crumbled the parchment in my hand and threw it across the room. I rested my head in my hands and realised I had been crying when I felt the moist on my skin. My shoulders shook with my sobs when I let down my Occlumency defences.

Almost immediately waves of nausea overtook me and I ran to the bathroom to throw up. When I had emptied my stomach I slumped against the tiled wall and waited until the sobs and coughs had stopped. I wiped the tears away and leaned the back of my head against the wall.

After a while I scrambled to my feet and walked back to my living room. I found the crumbled parchment and tried to smoothen it. This time I managed to write a decipherable note. I tied it to Harold's leg – my owl – and sent him on his way. After I watched him fly away into the darkness, I dragged myself to my bedroom and fell on top of the sheets, not bothering to undress.


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