Wendela400: Thanks! I hope you like the next chapter.
DollFace080: Thank you! That's great to hear. I'm glad you liked it; it was pretty hard to write. Anyway, here's another update.
MsPadfootVerona: Yeah, it's so sad. It's difficult to write about Death Eaters, because you know they do horrible things, and when I had this idea in my head I went like "come on, would they really do that?" But then you know that they would, even though it's hard to imagine how ruthless they can be. I decided to 'go all out' on the first raid, so it would be somewhat of a shock. To read it, and to Niamh herself. I'm glad it worked.
Flight Plan, that's the one with Jodie Foster, right? It hasn't premiered here yey, but I'm going to go and see it! Johnny Depp, I can't stop looking at the man. Sleepy Hollow aired on TV last week. It had me bouncing on the couch in joy (and squealing in fear, because I'm a wimp when it comes to bloody movies. It took me about 4 times to watch Scream without a pillow in front of me - how sad is that!)
No way! Just a mini-scene with charcoalhead Sirius? What about the hospitalscene at the end when they decide to bring back the Order? I loved that in the book. Molly Weasley going nutters when he transforms back and Ron's comment. And the part with Snape...ugh seriously don't like that man.
The Pensieve scene is horrible. There are spearpoints prodding him everywhere! He looks a lot like Sirius like that, doesn't he? But Sirius never had a trial, Crouch sr. just put him in Azbaban... ugh don't like that man either. But anyway, it's not exactly suitable for little children. It's pretty scary. PG-13 yay! It was unavoidable, I guess, the books get a lot darker and more serious as well.
Stupid email. And of course I didn't save it. Stupid me. I'll send another one when I have the time. I really hate my teachers right now. But don't expect too much from it, I totally suck at predicting plot lines! Ron and Hermione was about the only thing I saw coming.
Thanks for such a comliment! I'm grinning widely at my screen now. (shouldn't scare the poor thing so ;) ) Finally an update, so I hope you like it!
darklady5289: Thanks! Sorry, college is killing me. This is as fast I can go, don't like it myself either. Anyway, I'm glad you liked it and here's another chapter!
hpandfriendsruletheworld: You spelled it correctly! Thanks for the compliment and here's a little bit of Sirius for you ;) so I hope you like it.
Padfoots-luvr: Yeah, it's "Neev". Sirius is not on his best behaviour, is he? I'm glad you liked the chapter. Here's the next
Messr-Paddifoots-love: Yup, not good huh? I couldn't see Death Eaters any other way...
Stubbornness
Headquarters of the Order
Remus placed himself in a chair, glaring at his best friend. He had always known Sirius was stubborn, but this was just beyond reason. It had been almost four months since they had broken up and Niamh and Sirius still refused to talk to each other.
Sirius was staring broodingly in his coffee mug. "I don't know why Dumbledore insists on meeting this early," he muttered.
Remus merely snorted. "Some people have jobs," he said.
"Your point being…?" Sirius retorted. The Order meetings had been this early ever since they had found a place with enough protection spells to become Headquarters for the Order, so they wouldn't have to hold meetings in someone's living room anymore.
Remus got up and poured himself some tea. "Tea?" he asked when Lily, James, Moody, and Caradoc Dearborn entered the room. Moody's magical eye fixed itself on Sirius and then on Remus. He grumbled, but didn't say anything.
"Tea would be lovely," Lily said and nudged her boyfriend in the side. James had followed Moody's gaze and was rolling his eyes extensively at his best friends. Remus thought Sirius was being an ass, and Sirius thought Remus should just shut up. By the looks on their faces, James deducted that Remus had – once again – not shut up.
"Yes," James said quickly when he felt Lily poking him. "Tea."
Today promised to be a large meeting. The room was soon filled with almost twenty members.
"Merlin's balls!" Fabian called out over the buzzing in the room when the door swayed open again and Niamh stepped inside. "You look horrible."
Niamh shot him an irritated glare. "Thanks, Fab. Good to see you too."
"Niamh, are you all right?" Remus asked her concerned. Not only had she lost weight, there were dark circles under her eyes and she looked exhausted.
She shrugged. "Haven't been sleeping too well." She tilted her head to one side and pouted. "Coffee?"
Remus poured her some and with a satisfied groan she wrapped her hands around the mug. "Someone should kill Albus for wanting to meet so early."
With a sigh Remus noticed that she was avoiding to look at Sirius. As usual. Niamh curled herself up in an armchair and yawned widely.
"Have you had breakfast yet?" Lily asked her.
"No. Not hungry," came the short reply.
"You need to eat more," Lily insisted.
"I need more coffee. Then I'll be fine," Niamh said waspishly.
Lily sighed in resignation and sat next to James, who wrapped his arm around her. Conversations were soon resumed, but Remus noticed that Niamh and Sirius were staring in opposite directions. The meeting began when Dumbledore and Morton entered. After listening to the reports from the members that worked in the Ministry, he turned to Niamh.
She sighed and put her mug down. "Everything's going well. Nobody suspects me. They've got a clear idea on who might be members of the Order, though. Evan has been whining about it for a while now. Caradoc and you, Marlene. And you two, of course," she finished, nodding at Gideon and Fabian. "I think I've found another name for you, someone named Wilkes." She shrugged. "But I didn't get a first name."
"That makes Rosier, Malfoy, Bellatrix and Rodolphus, Rabastan, your brother, Dolohov, Seth Zabini, and this Wilkes you said," Morton said.
"Basically what we already suspected," Peter said.
"Yeah, well, next time I'll ask for a list with all of their names," Niamh snapped. Remus put a calming hand on her arm. "Sorry, Pete," she sighed. "It's just -- there's a Death Eater meeting tonight that I have been summoned to. I think I'm going to be initiated."
Dumbledore placed the tips of his fingers against each other. "I wouldn't be surprised. You've been doing very well."
Niamh made a dismissive gesture. The fact that she had not been made a Death Eater straight away had been a major setback. She had not even met Voldemort yet. Instead she was forced to prove herself in numerous raids and attacks. She didn't talk about it, but Remus had a feeling she had become quite adept with the Unforgivables.
"How is the Occlumency going?" Dumbledore inquired.
Niamh snorted. "Besides the nightmares and the fact that I have to spend half an hour hugging my toilet every time I stop performing Occlumency, it's going great."
She doesn't look good, Sirius thought. He clenched his jaw and stared fixedly out of the window, telling himself off. She had chosen for this herself. God, how he hated it when she talked about that Rosier. He didn't understand how she did it. Playing the happy fiancée, when that bastard killed everything in his sight. Kissing and smiling at that monster. He remembered vividly when she had come to the meeting after her first raid last month. He had had to restrain himself not to pull her into his arms right then and there. Ghostly white, trembling and with teary eyes, stuttering when she told what had happened.
An eight-year-old, for Merlin's sake!
And still she had gone back. Back to him, back to that damned family of hers. There had been many other raids since then, but she was not let in on their plans beforehand, since she was not a Death Eater yet. All she had been able to do was provide them with the names of the people she recognized, so that the Order could put a tail on them, and tell the Order what she heard from Rosier and her brother.
He could see it frustrated her. She really didn't look good. With a grunt he put his coffee mug on the table.
Niamh's voice faltered for a moment and she glanced at him, before she stuck her chin in the air and continued her story.
Arrogant witch, Sirius thought and narrowed his eyes at her. She didn't look at him again, however.
Remus rolled his eyes when he saw the exchange. This was just ridiculous. A blind man could see what they were trying to do. He knew Sirius would stop being a prick eventually, but he was worried about Niamh.
She needed Sirius. She would never admit it, but to Remus it was clear as a midsummer's day. Sirius was the one who had given her enough courage to leave her family, and in a way he was also the one who had given her enough courage to go back to them. And now he refused to talk to her. Remus chewed on his lip. For some reason, this made him feel uneasy. Niamh was back with her family, but without Sirius. She was alone.
Dumbledore's voice shook him from his musings. "Sirius? How are things in Dangerley Hall?"
Remus checked quickly. Yes, Niamh was staring at her hands, instead of looking at Sirius like everybody else.
"No attacks yet, though we heard someone bustling about last night," Sirius began. "Dorcas is staying with them today. We didn't think it was safe anymore to leave them without protection during the day."
"Well thought," Dumbledore nodded.
Sirius was protecting an important Muggle family. Several relatives of this influential family had already been murdered and Dumbledore had thought it likely that they would be next on the list. Dorcas Meadowes, Auror trainer at the Ministry, was in charge of the operation, which included – besides Sirius – Gideon Prewett, Sturgis Podmore, and Frank Longbottom.
"I'm going back after the meeting, so Dorcas can get to work. Frank will stay as well and tonight Gideon and Sturgis take over," Sirius finished.
"Good," Dumbledore said. "Corbin?"
Morton sighed. "Nothing much. Voldemort promises the vampires as much human blood as they want, but he has not asked them for anything in return yet."
"I suppose that's all," Dumbledore said. "I have a meeting with the Minister in five minutes. Niamh, I want a report as soon as you get back."
"Yes, Albus."
Dumbledore placed his hat on his head and disappeared.
"I thought this house was suppose to be Apparate-proof," Fabian sighed.
"It's Dumbledore," Morton grinned. "Well, I'm off. Have a nice Christmas everyone."
Niamh downed the last of her coffee and got to her feet. "I'm off too. Have to start work at nine. Bye."
Remus followed her to the front door. "Be careful, will you?"
Niamh flashed him a grin. "I'm always careful. Do you see any of my limbs missing?" She looked at her body. "No? That means I'm doing well."
Remus grimaced. "That's really not funny."
Niamh felt a little guilty. "Sorry, Rem." She wrapped her arms around his waist and hugged him tightly. "You're a great friend," she mumbled into his chest.
Sighing deeply, Remus hugged her back. He couldn't stop worrying. He was going to talk to Sirius. Again.
Niamh let go of Remus and stiffened. She looked at something over his shoulder. Remus turned around. Sirius was leaning in the doorway, arms folded. His eyes met Niamh's for a moment and she quickly turned around. "Bye, Remus."
"Bye."
Niamh almost fled from Headquarters and Disapparated as soon as she had passed the protective spells.
Remus shut the door and turned on his heels. "You are being the biggest arsehole I have ever met," he snapped.
Sirius snorted. "Luckily she has you for a friend."
"Don't go there again, Padfoot," Remus threatened. "Just because I'm not with you on this one, doesn't mean I'm not your friend. That girl loves my best friend, even though he is too damn stubborn and stupid to see it. I'm not letting her down just because you are being an idiot."
Sirius narrowed his eyes. "So you think I've let her down?"
"Yes, I do."
"Seems to me you're forgetting that it was her own decision to do this. She wanted to go back to those maniacs she calls family and that -- that piece of shit."
"Are you really that dense?" Remus asked incredulously. "She's not back with her family. She's spying on them. At an immense risk, I might add."
Sirius's eyes widened when Remus suddenly swore loudly. Remus didn't swear often. Actually, he didn't swear at all.
The werewolf shook his head and looked at his friend. "She could be killed any second. I can't believe you're wasting all of this time on something this absurd, when you might not get another chance. Of all people, Padfoot, I would have thought that you would understand that."
Sirius averted his eyes, ashamed. Remus was talking about Zarah. But this was different. How could he explain to Remus the feeling that bubbled inside him whenever he thought of his family? It was very close to pure hatred. He could not stand to be within ten feet of them, Andromeda and Uncle Alphard not included.
And she, she spent her life with them. He could not even begin to grasp how she could do it, when she had the same ideas about pure-bloods as him. He had recognized something of himself in her. She had hidden it well at Hogwarts, but he had noticed it nonetheless, first the doubt and finally the realisation that you couldn't agree with their pureblood views. That you were different. He had experienced it himself years before.
He sometimes wondered if that was why he had been attracted to her in the first place.
Sirius was not afraid to admit that jealousy played a role as well. The mere thought of Rosier looking at Niamh, kissing her, and -- God forbid -- even worse… It made him want to rip Rosier's throat.
"Padfoot?" Remus asked his friend, who seemed to be staring out into space, his brow furrowing. Remus thought he could actually hear him grind his teeth.
Sirius blinked. "Sorry, Moony. I have to get to Dangerley." He rushed past the werewolf and walked out of the door.
Baldric&Barnaby's
I sighed heavily, staring at the papers on my desk.
"You know, you can stare all you want, but those papers won't start dancing all of a sudden, love," Quintin – one of my bosses – laughed.
"Sorry Quinn," I mumbled. "I'm a bit absent-minded."
Quinn chuckled. "Did that gorgeous fiancé of yours keep you up all night again?"
I grimaced. "You could say that." I had not slept a full night without nightmares since my first raid, and Evan was a part of them many times.
"You should bring him more often," Quinn insisted with a leering look.
I snorted loudly. "So you can drool over him, you mean."
"Well," Quinn shrugged. "The man has a nice body. Can't help myself. You two are coming to the Christmas party, aren't you?" He eyed me hopefully.
"Of course we will," I grinned. "Now let me get back to work."
I watched Quinn swagger off to his office. He was quite a character. Always dressed according to the latest fashion, brown hair styled into perfection, two rows of brilliantly white teeth, and always a slight, but perfect tan. He had been smitten with Evan since the first time he had met him.
Quinn was the complete opposite of his business partner Cecil Barnaby. Cecil was extremely forgetful in all things, except his manuscripts. With his unruly, black curls, flecked with grey and his glasses that stood lopsided on his nose, which seemed to be forever buried in parchment, he was the epitome of the absent-minded professor. He spoke about thirty languages and their ancient counterparts fluently and was a brilliant translator, but people frightened him.
Quinn took care of all the public relations and Cecil decided which books they were going to publish. They had hired me, because they both hated the paperwork. So in exchange for doing the administration, they would teach me the ropes of the publishing business. It basically meant I had a double job, but I loved it.
After four months Cecil didn't jump up in fright anymore when he saw me, which meant – according to Quinn – that he liked me. Quinn started dragging me along when he visited their clients, because I made "a beautiful asset to his people skills." I probably should have been insulted by this, but Quinn's personality made it seem impossible. Which was probably why he was so good with people.
I sighed again, feeling guilty. I shouldn't have snapped at Lily like that. She was just worried. I was still amazed how easily she had accepted me. We got along quite well, actually. She was not only an exceptionally nice person, she was also the living proof that the pure blood ideas were wrong.
I didn't want to think about Sirius. It ached to look at him, especially when he turned those grey eyes, full of anger, accusation, and hurt on me. I had stopped being angry at him for not standing by me; now I just avoided to think about him, avoided to look at him, and definitely avoided to talk to him. It would only hurt.
I swore under my breath. Like right now, when you can't help yourself and still think about the bastard.
"Damn that man," I muttered.
Okay, so maybe I am still a bit angry with him.
"Ugh," I grunted and went back to work, abolishing all thoughts about a certain black-haired wizard from my mind.
I left work at five, picked up something to eat on the way home – cooking was something I hadn't dared to do yet – and spent the rest of the evening meditating.
The Occlumency was quite easy now. Within minutes I could summon up an impressive shield. I could endure an entire raid without being flooded in emotions. I was capable of singling out hatred, so that I could perform Unforgivables and other Dark curses. I didn't talk about what I had to do when I was with the Death Eaters, except to Dumbledore, but I knew most of the Order members had a clear idea. I could see it in Remus's eyes whenever he thought I wasn't aware that he was looking at me.
It was something I would have to live with. The things I had done, and the things that would come. I couldn't sleep anymore. Even when I was awake I sometimes saw the images of the victims. I had begun to use the Occlumency more often so I could suppress those images. The side-effects were not lessened, though. When I did stop practising Occlumency, the contents of my stomach immediately rose and I didn't stop retching until it was completely empty. It was as if my body was completely revolted by what I did.
I sighed. No use thinking about that now. Evan would be here any minute. I searched for my cloak and mask, and waited until my fiancé showed up.
"Niamh," he said after he Apparated. "Are you ready?"
"Yes."
"Hold my arm."
We Disapparated. My feet landed on hard, frozen earth. I looked around. A graveyard.
Isn't that wonderful?
From between the old, weathered stones eight Death Eaters emerged. They formed a circle around me. I realised that there were only seven Death Eaters, as one of the cloaked figures stepped forward and stood beside me. A Death Eater stepped forward and took the masks from our face. I gasped in surprise when I looked at the hooded figure next to me. He was equally surprised. My old class mate, Severus Snape.
We stared at each other for a moment, until the Death Eater hissed, "On your knees." It was Lucius.
We obeyed and a tall and thin figure stepped into the circle. "Two more that wish to follow me?" The voice was high and had an unpleasant hiss to it. Ghostly white hands with long fingers moved to his hood. When it slipped to his shoulders I bowed my head as deep as I could.
Voldemort.
