Firstly I would like to apologise. I haven't updated for so long, and at such a crucial moment too. However my computer broke down, and deleted all my work, as well as my drafts and story plan. So I have finally gotten my computer back in working order and I hurried to get this chapter out for you. It is quite short, but I thought the length of the chapter fitted the conversation that takes place. Also I was hurrying to publish this. Thank you all so so much for all your reviews they were all appreciated and loved. You all inspire me to continue writing.
A quick reminder of where we were last chapter. Rose has just confessed to having a daughter, and Lissa has let Dimitri overhear her.
Please enjoy.
"Dimitri…" The word escaped from my lips, a plea for him to understand. To understand that I hadn't meant to hurt him. That I would never cheat on him. That he was the only I would ever and have ever loved. But those words wouldn't come out, they were stuck in my throat, and I could only stare at him in horror. I saw Lissa slip out of the room, closing the door behind her, and I could only hope she would stay away. That she could give me this one moment with Dimitri, so he could understand what I had done.
He stared straight at me, his beautiful brown eyes so full of betrayal and pain, that I could see my own grief mirrored in them. His hands were clenched at his sides, and I could see his nails biting into his palms. I could feel that my cheeks were wet with tears that I hadn't felt falling.
"I'm so sorry. " I choked out. "I never meant to hurt you."
"Really." He said coldly. "Is that what you thought when you slept with that guy. That you weren't hurting me."
"I… I… I'm sorry." I choked out. How could I tell him that he was wrong, without revealing that Ivy was his daughter. And I couldn't tell him that. It would mean the last four years would have been for nothing. And I could not deal with that reality. That I might have been able to do something differently. That Ivy might have been able to grow up knowing her father.
My hesitation broke through his calm façade.
"Whose is she?" He asked, angrily. "That Zeklos boy or was it Adrian's?"
"No of course not! You don't understand!" I cried, wishing there were words I could use to describe what I'd done.
"Understand what?" He demanded. "That you slept with another guy, got pregnant and then were too much of a coward to tell anyone, so instead you ran away. " He glared accusingly at me. This was the angriest I'd ever seen him, the most out of control. And I hated it. Hated that this was what I'd done to him.
I opened my mouth but no words would come out. There were no words to defend what he thought I'd done.
"You aren't the person I thought I knew. Maybe I never really knew you."
"I'm sorry." I finally murmured. "I really am. If I could go back and fix it, I would. I never wanted you to find out like this." It was true, nothing was worth the pain in his eyes. Except Ivy's safety.
"You would have preferred that I never found out." He said bitterly.
"Not like this." I pleaded. "How could Lissa do this to me. To you."
"She knew that you would never tell me. That this was the only way you'd tell the truth."
"I'm so so sorry. You don't know how sorry I am." I told him.
I knew that I should be happy that he had no idea that Ivy was his, that because he now hated me, he would be safe. But my heart wouldn't let me carry through on that logic. I needed him too much to let him go like this. Even if he didn't know where I was, at least before I always rested reassured in the knowledge that he didn't hate me. That his love for me would always remain. But that platform of security had crumbled, and I was hanging on by a fingertip to its remains.
"Dimitri!" I cried, one last and final plea for him to understand. For him to forgive me. "Please tell me it's not over. That you don't hate me. That we can still be friends, that you will still talk to me." I took a step towards him, and he didn't retreat. So I took another. But then he looked up, and the look of pain in his eyes stopped me in my tracks.
"Just leave it Rose. It's over. You've won. " I stared at him in desperation, wishing I could block out the words I knew were coming. "I loved you and you've destroyed me. For four years, I thought I was a monster. That the one girl I had ever loved, who had ever loved me, thought me a monster too terrifying to even be in the same place with. I thought that it was my fault, that I had scared you away. That I was the problem." He stopped for a breath, passing a hand through his hair. "But I still loved you, all those years you were gone, even though you left me and broke my heart, you were still the person I kept in my heart. But it turns out that you never loved me and I'd done nothing wrong. You were the problem. You were the one who cheated on me. Who betrayed me." His voice broke. "No more, Rose. Never again. I will never love you again."
He turned around, walking out the door, out into the corridor, never looking back.
So I hope you all enjoyed, and you didn't mind the length. The next chapter should be out by Tuesday (especially if I get lots of reviews). Please tell me what you think. Was Dimitri's reaction realistic? I hope so. Have a perfectly wonderful day.
