Vicarious

The self-destructing hexes detonated simultaneously with Gambit's attacks. Above them, the house turned to ash. Luckily, the force of his charge worked to shield him from the bombs. Raven was caught in the middle, and if she'd been an ordinary mortal, she would've been torn to shreds. Instead, time and space surrounding the stone was brutally blasted away. Raven released Gambit and stepped into the void. Like a full moon rising above mountains, the smooth, brilliant Momentary Princess illuminated the room. Power zapped around the crush, dove within the gem, and crackled out with blue sparks nearly reaching Raven. She held out her hands, letting the flames lick and caress her palms. Only those pure of heart, clear of mind, strong of flesh, and gentle of spirit could claim the Princess. She was humbled to be deemed worthy.

"Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of Heaven," Raven whispered.

'The Beatitudes? Odd choice, but okay.'

"Aiming for optimism, dear. Now shut it. …Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted."

'Why not "Be fruitful and multiply"? Or "Never again shall there be a flood to destroy the earth"? Both given to Noah. Seems more fitting to me.'

"Blessed are the meek," her fingers grazed the surface, "For they shall inherit the earth."

'You're like Noah's Ark in a lot of ways. We dwell in you. You've carried us to safety… But whatever happened to the Ark after the Flood?'

Raven left Honor to her inane ramblings. Like the world around her, the words were heard and understood but not given a place in her thoughts. She opened her 'third eye' and felt the stone pour into her. The vessel and the essence were one and the same.

'It didn't live with Noah… It didn't go to Heaven, either. It probably got left behind.'

She spoke the names of God and felt the world unlock. Separate from time and space dwelled the collective consciousness, the universal will – "God" – which controlled all. She'd transcended the laws of her universe to unite with the omnipotent omnipresence. Her feet sank down to the core of the earth millions of years ago; her shoulders reached the edge of existence. Time aligned and she occupied everything: all time, everywhere. In cosmic spheres, "everywhere" and "forever" were mind-blowingly vast. But from the folded space, which had been smoothed, layered, cut through, and folded again and again and again…

Raven, five-years-old, awoke in the night. Across the room, her brother Oli slumbered on peacefully. She pulled back his blanket – he was sweating – and softly brushed back his chestnut hair. When she leaned down to kiss his brow, she caught his scent. Brother. Never again would she smell that. Never again would Jack bury his face in his daddy's collar and smell the safe shelter of home. But all the injustices of the world were held back from this tiny sliver of halcyon.

Outside her room were the floors and walls of her untroubled childhood. She knew her big sister slept in her tower (unless she'd snuck out again). And she knew Momma Belle was sleeping in her wing of the house: that draconian matriarch who haunted their home because Honor needed her merciless routine as much as she needed Daddy's merciful adoration. Daddy's marriage to Belle was over, but they were still a team. Momma was part of that team, too, and it had forever imprinted on Raven the meaning of family. Not love. Not blood. Solidarity. Sacrifice.

Downstairs, Momma was digging around in the refrigerator. When she heard footsteps, she cooed: "Why're you up, baby? Did you have a bad dream?"

Raven couldn't speak for all the tears, so her mother scooped her up.

"It's okay, baby… Just a bad dream."

"I wish…" she sobbed, "I wish that was true…"

"Ah know what'll make you smile. Would you like to see heaven?" Rogue grabbed a hanging glass bird from the china cabinet. "This is where Ah keep the Phoenix. Look in its eye."

Raven glimpsed the White Hot Room, which she would've described as a river – not a room or a paradise. The soul of humanity flowed united and whole.

"I suspect," said Raven, "once you go in, you don't come out."

"Not until you're ready. Believe it or not, people get bored in there. Ah know it's insane to come into life – knowing you'll hate your parents and your heart will break and one day you'll die. Possibly a horrible, pointless death. Why would anyone chose that? Because there are no sunsets in heaven. Empathy, love, grief, fear… They offer so many adventures." She kissed her daughter's brow. "Oli knew exactly when and how he'd die. We all did. Ah know it doesn't make any sense to you, but one day you'll understand. One day you'll be with him again. And then you'll chose to return and find each other all over again."

"I could force him, but that's… wrong." She swallowed her frustration. "So Nate lied-? No, Honor lied to me. Didn't she?"

"She lied to herself. Always had that talent - like your daddy. She couldn't stop the apocalypse, but convinced herself that she could undo it. Nate wasn't fooled, but she thought she could force him."

"Like she always did." Raven dried her tears. "But why would he want to resurrect his kids so they can die again?"

Rogue stroked her daughter's hair. "Ah know you walked through hell, but you were never alone. The pain you carry would crush anyone else. That's why you survived. With that pain is enough love and devotion to conquer death, and Ah hope you carry it with you for a long, long time. But if it's too great… There are no burdens in the White Hot Room."

"I could do that? Join you?"

"If that's what you want."

Raven trembled. "But… if I do… No one will remember you. Or Oli. Or – anyone. It'll be like you never existed. I can't do that. You deserve to be remembered."

"You deserve to live and live well." She held her daughter close. "There was so much Ah wanted to give you."

"That's what Daddy said…"

"But you don't need to be given anything. You make your own. Ah am so proud of you."

"I haven't done anything to make you proud yet. But I will."

Raven wasn't a little girl anymore. She still didn't have the words to tell her mother how much she loved and missed her. Honor was right – it didn't need said. Raven just had to trust that she'd given her mother enough love during their short life together. Rogue had an eternity to re-live each moment if that's what she wanted. Her daughter, however, knew she didn't have forever to make things right.

Donning her mother's infamous green hood, she took flight.

Time melted and spread, condensed and shrank again. With her feet still planted long ago and far away, she rose to see the spiral of earths as Qabiri the Destroyer had seen them. Inspiration suddenly hit. She'd come to aid, to re-build, but now that she realized her world was truly gone forever, she was free. Just beyond the spiral, she could see gates to another universe, where the laws of physics didn't apply. That's where her brother's murderer lived. Where he'd continue to live. She could've shrunk from the confrontation, but she didn't dare. Oli fought that thing and it had cost him everything!

Raven would bring the Destroyer to his knees, hear him beg for mercy, and then slit his throat. His blood would rain down, quenching Oli's vengeance. It would flood heaven! Those cold, indifferent angels who'd shrugged off their protective duties would shake in their sullied boots.

'This is dangerous.'

"You're dead." She soared deeper into the abyss. "What are you afraid of?"

'You're invincible and aren't you afraid?'

Raven was now completely and utterly lost. An unforgiving mist surrounded and grew denser, blinding and threatening to drown her. She could feel her sister's reluctance. "What've I got left to lose?"

'I'm sorry, Ray. I really thought-'

"Don't be sorry. You fought long enough. Now go home and be happy. When I get there, I'll tell you all about my last great adventure!"

'Sweet and brave Anna Ray. You really are the best of us.'

She felt Honor's great relief as she released her final burden. Somewhere hidden, she rejoined with Tessa and Roman, and she felt their relief, too.

Cast between time and space, Raven had never been so utterly alone. Dark matter, galaxies, stars, and gas clouds stretched out infinitely. The universe was a beautiful and hostile place. Darkness enveloped her for a few moments (eons?) and then lightning webbed in the massive black clouds around her. As she drew nearer to the heart of the storm, thunder cracked louder and more frequently. He knew she was close.

"Who dares taint the Brilliant City?" hissed the Destroyer. He dwarfed her like a dog to a flea.

"Righteousness!" she defied. "You annihilated my world! You left us to die! Our prayers meant nothing to you because you were all-powerful! I am justice! I am the reckoning! Weep for the beginning of destruction, puny death! You have no power over me!"

"Behold," he cocked his head and smiled, "A mortal."

She charged at him and expected the rewarding impact of flesh against flesh, but his mass simply flowed over her. When she turned around, he slipped between dimensions and expected to vanish. She blew through his disguise like a plywood door.

"The hairless ape can walk upright," he said, swatting her with enough force to knock her back through the 'door'. Disoriented, ears ringing, she heard him taunt: "But can it read a map?"

With the powers of the Princess, she tore savagely at the time and space surrounding him. He was shrinking, burying himself deeper and deeper but she was gaining ground and size. When next they met, she stood to his knee. Big enough to cause damage! Irritated, he blasted her with the power of a thousand suns. Her skin blistered and organs stung but she struggled through the pain until she finally felt his body collide under hers. Trapped! She didn't care if she died – and his attacks were ominously damaging – but she would teach him fear! Her hands, the size of his nose, tore at his weak flesh.

He telepathically generated a shield that pushed her away and then a giant, flaming sword appeared in his hand. The blade swung over her head, came down to slice her in two. She grabbed the sword, took control of the weapon, and then wrestled it away. The intimate struggle was nasty, cutting her shoulder down to muscle and slicing open her left palm, but she felt no pain. Clutching the weapon, she felt immensely powerful and grew to match his size. How had she ever thought him omnipotent?

"An illiterate ape can still kick your ass!" she said.

"Raven!"

Her home was in flames and the kids were surrounded. Meg was burning, screaming. Raven immediately flew to them, her instincts overriding logic. The sword kept the flames back, but it was only so long and the fire so consummate.

"You desire their lives?" Qabiri taunted, "Here they are! Endeavor."

"I'm sorry!" said Remi, "I thought I was brave, but I'm not! I don't wanna die!"

Slowly, she lowered the sword and turned to him. "Remi? You weren't there…"

'Remi' transformed into Issa. "Please don't leave!"

"I'm sorry I couldn't save you, baby. Please know I love you."

"If you loved me, you wouldn't leave!"

She bolted through the illusion, shattering her heart into a million pieces. Qabiri's sword smashed against his shield. She struck again and again and again until the bones in her hands fractured and his shield broke. His palm unleashed another energy blast, this time making her skin peel and eyes burn. Undeterred, she slammed into him and rained punches on his abdomen. He struck and fractured a rib. Another strike: broken.

"Your mortal frame has failed you!" he shouted. "You will perish long before me! Self-preservation! That's all you animals desire!"

"You're right. I've never felt pain this intense. But neither have you! Every bruise – every scar! – is a strike for everything you destroyed!" Knuckles ablaze, she switched to beating him with her knees. She called out the names of her fallen siblings and felt them peer from the windows of the White Hot Room. "This is your justice!"

"Enough!" Qabiri left-hooked her gut. A kick to the head knocked her off her feet, and he pressed the flaming sword between her shoulder blades.

She closed her eyes and was at home in bed. Vaughn smiled.

"So you're dead?" she asked.

Stroking her hair, he replied: "I'm here. Always."

She smiled.

"What's this? Aw, so this is how the beast got loose…" The Destroyer had spotted the Momentary Princess and with no effort, drained its magic from her physical frame.

Time, space, mass, and matter snapped back into place. Like a vacuum cleaner with a short cord snatched suddenly from the outlet, she instantly shut down. Her charred feet stood in Germany; her head, dripping blood, stood five and three-quarters feet above German soil.


August 5, 2018
University Hospital Holstein
Special Cases Unit

In spite of Raven's significant injuries, her body remained invincible to needles, scalpels, and other means of medical intervention. The Avengers decided to submit her to a power-dampener long enough to undergo a blood transfusion. Laura Kinney, Wolverine's clone, possessed his superhuman healing factor, and her blood healed Raven's veins as it pumped through her heart. This was considered the preferable option due to the long-term side-effects of mutation suppression: apathy, memory loss, and depression. If she'd undergone the necessary operations, Raven would've been suppressed for several days, and further damaged her delicate psyche.

The sun was rising on a new day when she had her first "visitor".

Briefly, her green eyes flickered over to Rogue, and then returned to the sun rise. She memorized every hue and color for her loved ones who'd never see another dawn.

"How ya feelin'?"

She shrugged.

"Well enough to talk?"

She nodded.

"We haven't been properly introduced. Ah'm-"

"I know who you are and you know who I am. Let's not waste time on that."

Rogue squared her shoulders. "Ah don't mean to sound insensitive, but you caused a lot of damage, sugah."

"That was Honor, not me."

"Rachel scanned your mind after the robbery. She didn't detect anyone else."

"I'm not surprised. Honor was the best. I'm sorry you'll never meet her…"

Rogue walked to the window, curious. "What are you lookin' at?"

"The sky! Have you ever seen anything so beautiful?"

"Ah forget what it's like to have your first brush with death…" She turned her back to it and looked Raven in the eye. "We know a lot about Honor. She was an assassin. A spy. A master manipulator."

"She was my sister."

"Ever seen 'Fight Club'? It's a movie. Edward Norton's character meets Tyler Durden, who's everything Edward Norton wants to be. Intelligent. Tough. Vicious, even. At the end of the movie, you find out they're both the same man. Rachel thinks… And Ah agree… That Honor was your Tyler Durden. Your protection from the trauma you've suffered."

"Rachel's an idiot! The Phoenix gave her to me!"

"No one's tryin' to underscore what you've been through. Losin' your world and everyone in it is enough to break the strongest person… But why would Phoenix save her? Could've saved anyone. Fact is – Honor was probably the toughest cookie you knew. So you 'let' her steal, bully and blackmail for you. Didn't you? All the while, she forced you to keep moving. Keep working through the pain until you could deal with it…" She placed a hand on Raven's arm. "Until you attracted people who could help you. But be honest. You didn't need her to do what you did."

Rogue's words echoed her counter-part's.

"I'm so alone..." But she was strong enough to be alone. Suddenly aware of her own strength, Raven felt a fresh wave of crippling grief wash over her.

"Not so." Gambit came swinging in on crutches. "Typically, when someone gets lost in our universe, we assign 'm to a team. Straight away. No passport or anything." Leaning on his good foot, he grinned. "But you've gotta clean up your karma first. Gonna start by keepin' house till I'm back on my feet."

"Thanks. I'm really sorry about… about what happened to you. Hope you can forgive without assigning me to a team." She looked pointedly at Rogue. "The voices in my head don't think I'd be any good."

"I've found the best way to shut up those voices is to do the opposite of what they want," he said good-naturedly. "Good news is – when you're ready for a team – you've got your pick."

As they left together, Rogue muttered: "Like hell."

The End.

Author's Notes: I'm confident there will be a sequel but sadly it's still cooking in my head so I can't say when it might appear. But I've enjoyed working with Raven and the others and I hope you've enjoyed her tale. Thanks for following!