I know it's been such a long time and I'm so sorry. I gave you an extra long chapter to make up for it though, and I won't waste any more of your time. I hope you enjoy!
I reeled back in shock. This couldn't be right. Wasn't it only a few days ago Dimitri had told me he would never love me again? I had truly hurt him and it was completely out of character for him to forgive me this easily, as well as admit his emotions. I had to wonder whether it was the medication. A cheery Moroi nurse entering the room stopped me from responding. Once her eyes caught sight of me next to his bed, her smile dimmed slightly.
"Mr. Belikov is not yet medically authorized for visitors. He is still very sick. I'm not quite sure how you got in here; you should still be resting Ms. Hathaway. "
"It's okay." Dimitri croaked. "We were just talking."
His excuses for me spurred me into thought. I turned towards Dimitri. When he'd told me he would never love me, I knew it was different from "Love fades, mine has". Back then he had been confused and scared and guilty. He hadn't known how to love me anymore. But when he'd told me it was over, I knew he was certain. I'd betrayed him, I'd broken him. Hell, I wouldn't love anyone who did that to me. So how come it had taken such little time for him to change his mind. Maybe it was the life and death situation we had been through, but I doubted it. Life as a guardian was a constant life and death situation. I pursed my lips worriedly. What had happened to my ability to read him? To know exactly what he was thinking. Why couldn't I understand what was going on with him? A weak cough broke me out of my thoughts. I could see now Dimitri was fading, his body slumping back into the pillows. I had been distracted but now I could see how pale his skin was, and clammy his face was. No matter how confused I was by his words I needed to let him recover. There was no point in demanding an explanation, especially when I was the one to blame.
The nurse cleared her throat, waiting for my response.
"I'm sorry." I told her. "I just had to make sure he was okay." Her eyes softened slightly, as she made her way over to the bed.
"Guardian Belikov underwent a massive trauma and rest is vitally important in his recovery." As she spoke she withdrew a needle, and began filling it with a clear liquid. "It's morphine, to help him cope with the pain." She explained to me, seeing my querying look.
"I didn't think Dhampirs usually received morphine. Doesn't our metabolism burn it up too quickly for it to be very effective?" With the amount of injuries I had received I knew all too well whether and what painkillers were effective.
"We're giving him very large doses. It can have a few side effects but we're keeping a careful eye on him."
"Side effects?" I asked anxiously. Maybe I shouldn't have woken him.
"Fever, high blood pressure, severe confusion, memory loss. " She told me. "It's nothing really to worry about. Fever and high blood pressure can be controlled, and the memory loss and severe confusion is only short term."
"Alright." I told her, I needed to get out of there. This whole situation was too confusing. "Thank you for helping him." I turned again towards Dimitri.
"I'll see you later."
He nodded weakly. I realized I now had the strength to stand so I lifted myself from the wheelchair and walked out. My limbs were stiff but I could feel my strength gathering. Lissa and Ivy were still sleeping in my bed when I returned, Ivy now curled into Lissa. Lissa had her arm draped around Ivy, whilst Ivy had a hand wrapped in Lissa's shirt. They made a pretty tableau and I smiled fondly at the pair as I settled into the chair beside them.
It took a few days but I was eventually discharged. My parents had visited me several times, even bringing Sebastian along once. Ivy had been living with Jade but she had spent most days with me, watching endless re-runs of Disney movies and reading dozens of Dr. Seuss books. Lissa had visited me every day, and though I could see she was still struggling with spirit's darkness, she told me my presence had helped clear her head. She was going to go back on the anti-depressants. I knew exactly how difficult this was for her, but I knew it was the right decision. She couldn't be an impartial leader if she had spirit's darkness clouding her thoughts. Although I warned her not to she had insisted on performing one last spirit task before going on the medication, and healed me completely. She'd also tried to heal Dimitri but Christian had stopped her before she finished. He knew just as well as me the cost of using spirit, as well as the lure it was for Lissa to keep using it. I had only visited Dimitri once but he was asleep, and this time I dared not wake him. After that he caught a fever and was moved to isolation. He had come through after a few tense hours and I knew he was soon going to be discharged as well.
Once Ivy and I had settled back into the apartment, I went to meet Master Gregori. The Strigoi shouldn't have been able to get past our complex members. I didn't want anyone doubting our skills as fighters, just as much as I was concerned that the Strigoi may be getting stronger than us.
Once Master Gregori had me settled on a chair, not quite believing I was completely healed, I started with my questioning.
"What I want to know is how Strigoi managed to enter the complex with our guards on patrol." I asked incredulously. Not only was I worried about the security of my loved ones, but also the complex's reputation was at stake.
Master Gregori sighed, shaking his head. "From what I can gather the Guardians and the Moroi haven't been so happy at our intervention and have been messing around with our members. Sending them to the wrong location, telling them about meetings that never happen, asking for guards for benign tasks. The only reason Court wasn't completely overrun is because our members reacted quickly. Of course humans broke the wards. Though some of those defensive magic lessons were also being held by the wards that may have additionally weakened them. " He sighed again, wiping a weary hand down his face. "I don't understand what's wrong with them. I thought they cared about Court's safety?"
At his report, anger had struck me, but I thought carefully before allowing myself to speak. "I think they're embarrassed." Master Gregori raised a quizzical brow. "So many dhampirs have been leaving Court and the standard of their training is also on the way down. It can't be easy to have someone come in and tell you that what you're doing is wrong, especially when it's their life's work."
"That still doesn't excuse their behavior, which by the way is despicable. I've discussed this with the Queen and she's agreed to let us handle it." Master Gregori told me. "This simply can't be allowed to continue. "
"I agree." I told him. Which was why an hour later I found myself standing in front of a room of sheepish guardians. From the corner of my eye I saw Dimitri being wheeled in. None of his guardians dared meet his eyes.
Their behavior was despicable. Their jealousy and shame had destroyed lives and caused countless injuries. It wouldn't be allowed to continue. Not under my watch.
I hauled a chair out of the corner of the room and stood on it. I only had to clear my throat once to get the rooms attention.
"I'm here today to discuss with you the events of this week's Strigoi attack." I started gently, so I could shock them into good behavior. "Mainly being- what the Hell is wrong with all of you?!" I bellowed. All the guardians flinched. "Four dhampirs died yesterday, all of them being guardians!" I paused, looking out into the audience. No one dared meet my gaze. "Thanks to your pointless shenanigans you cost the lives of your peers. I am thoroughly ashamed of your conduct!" I glared at the group in front of me. "I was a guardian not so long ago, and I know exactly what it's like to have your life dedicated to someone else's. And I can guess how it feels when you feel that your dedication is mocked and disregarded, like all your hard work and sacrifices have been for nothing. But I assure you that is not true- we can all see and appreciate what you do. But this time you have let yourselves down. You have let every single guardian down, and under my watch it will not be tolerated. This type of behavior will not be allowed to continue. I also know and recognize that not all of you were involved directly, but I'm sure you were all aware. And none of you came forward. Which makes you just as guilty." I was aware of Dimitri's gaze on me as I talked, but I was careful not to meet his gaze. "I want you to know that there will be no more of this despicable behavior- you will attend each and every training session with our Complex members, otherwise you will report to me. You will follow each and every schedule exactly or you will report to me. If I catch any of you playing the same sort of games that resulted in this recent Strigoi attack, you are out. You will no longer be a guardian." Suddenly every guardian in the room was sitting up straight, their anxiety shining through. They had just realized that the new Rose Hathaway didn't play games. "Does anyone have any questions?" Silence greeted me. "You are dismissed."
The guardians departed silently, not one looking at the other. As they passed through the door, I could hear some muffled conversation break out. I stayed perched on top of the chair until the room had completely emptied apart from Dimitri. I hopped off, going to greet him.
"How are you feeling?" I asked him.
"Better." He said. "Though Lissa should not have tried to heal me. I know how dangerous it is for her."
"We did try and stop her." I told him. "I'm sorry I only got to visit you once, I did try again but you were asleep."
Dimitri greeted my apology with a confused look. "What visit?"
"I came to visit you when you came out of surgery." He still looked confused. "We talked for an hour or so."
"I'm sorry I don't remember." He told me. "The doctors told me that the large dose of morphine might influence my short term memory."
"Yeah, they told me that too." I managed to get out. How could he have forgotten? Life just wasn't kind to me it seemed. What had he forgotten? His declaration of love, or my desperate declarations. Could it be possible that those moments I'd been obsessing about had been wiped clean from his memory?
"So what do you remember?"
"Just being stabbed by that Strigoi, from there until I woke up in isolation with Lissa healing me, I've got nothing." He told me, looking frustrated.
I nodded, trying to wrap my head around it. Maybe this was a good thing. It gave me a chance to start over, to not let him get so close.
"I did mean to thank you though. For helping me."
"It was no problem." I told him; unconsciously my hand had strayed from my side and was reaching for his. I brought it back to my side. This was the time for a blank slate. I couldn't mess it up again. "I hope you feel better soon Guardian Belikov. Then we can restart our training sessions."
"Of course." He told me. Just then a nurse popped into the room.
"Guardian Belikov are you okay to go back to the hospital?"
"Yes." He told her kindly. "Goodbye Rose."
"Goodbye." God he was acting like we were strangers. Our conversation had been so stilted I found it hard to believe not a week before we had both, in our own ways, confessed our love for each other.
I didn't have much time to think about it as Master Gregori had started the training program in full force. I spent most of my days mentoring and teaching. Ivy and the rest of my friends and family took all of my spare time that wasn't taken up by planning more training exercises and skills tests. Lissa spent her every spare moment with me, often accompanied by Christian and Eddie. My parents were constantly interrupting, my mother in disagreeing with my training techniques and my father offering suggestions about ways to obtain more weaponry. Jade, Seth and Ian were just as busy and many a night we would come together only to fall asleep minutes later. Every gym and outside area was full of mentoring sessions, lessons on weaponry, pressure points, interrogation, and raids, some of which I led.
My greatest pleasure was a lesson I led on raids, whose participants included my mother and Stan. Stan initially tried not to participate, but after a few pointed digs he was on his feet yelling at me, my mother by his side. Apparently they didn't really appreciate being taught by someone 20 years their junior. Abe had joined in halfway through, cheering at every mention of explosives or excessive force. The rest of the class had remained silent the majority of the time, too afraid to ask questions and be greeted by Stan's snarling face or my mother's exasperated expression. It was only in the second half of the lessons, when I started talking about previous raids I'd been on when they actually seemed to start listening. Though their antics amused me I knew how important it was to be prepared for the dangers raids held. Many a time, I had barely escaped with my life. I accompanied my tales with flashes of my various scars. The scar on my shoulder that came from a Strigoi taking a bite of it, when I was distracted by a fellow guardian's screams, the scars on my arms coming from not ducking faster enough and being gashed by another complex member's silver stake. Each time I gave some practical advice on how to avoid such situations or how it could have been dealt with more effectively. Most of these experiences had come from when I was newly arrived at the complex and wasn't used to actively going out and hunting for large groups of Strigoi. By the end of the session even my mother and Stan were scribbling notes. The arm squeeze my mother gave me as she left meant the world to me.
It was almost three weeks later that I heard Dimitri had been cleared to fight again. We arranged to meet the next day in the early morning. I woke up two hours earlier and though I contemplated going back to sleep, I was drawn down to the training tracks. Ivy had gone for a sleepover at my parent's, so I was quickly out the door running down to the training tracks. I stopped as I neared them, looking knowingly at the solitary guardian making his way round the course. Dimitri. Of course he was here early, I wouldn't have done anything less. I ran out to meet him.
"Rose?" He said in surprise as I came up behind him.
"Shouldn't you be taking it easy?" I asked him.
"I've got to get back into shape." I looked at him doubtfully. He seemed pretty fit to me, if his bulging muscles were any indication. "I thought it would be better if I did my warm up, and strength and conditioning earlier, so we could mainly focus on fighting when you came."
"That's very thoughtful." I told him. "Do you mind if I warm up with you?"
"Sure." He told me, and then we lapsed into silence. Soon I noticed that we were running perfectly in sync, I pushed myself to run faster, uncomfortable with how easily we matched. But as I ran faster so did he, matching my pace effortlessly. I only slowed down when I realized that Dimitri had only three weeks ago been stabbed in the stomach and it probably wasn't the best idea to strain him. He stumbled a bit as I slowed; looking confused but matched me anyway. On our tenth lap we went into the gym. We decided that we wouldn't begin combat training today, and let Dimitri's body regain its strength. It was strange but for the first time in a long time, I felt oddly at peace. Without words we began working out, starting out on the floor then moving up to the machines. We worked on separate machines, but I couldn't help myself from stealing an occasional look at him, and at times I could almost swear I could feel his eyes on me too.
I hope you enjoyed. I'm so sorry I made him forget, please don't hate me for it! On the plus side the next chapter is already in the works so that should be ready soon. Have a great day!
