A/N: Well, I'm really on a roll. Currently writing Chapter 44, so expect more speedy updates. It just keeps pouring out of my head... Kurama-forever, hpandfriendsruletheworld, Domlando Blonaghan ( Oh my god, if you put it that way, Harry's death seems almost inevitable!Refusing to continue that train of thought right now... Ilove the name too :) But I don't know the books; I'll be looking for them) and Messr-Paddifoots-love: Thanks for your reviews!

Warning! Violence and rape in this chapter. Skip if you feel you might be offended!


Eyes on me

"They've found him!" I panted. "They've found Henry!"

Henry Fairburn was a Muggle, but with connections to the wizarding world. He'd been in hiding since July, since he'd been targeted by the Dark Lord. The Ministry and the Order protected him. And now he had been found. By Bellatrix and her protégé Regulus.

"How the hell do they know where he is?" James shouted. Fortunately there was someone at Headquarters.

"I don't know! Evan just told me!" I shouted back. "Hurry up!"

I Apparated back to the loo at work. With shaking hands I smoothened my hair and took a deep breath, hoping James could rally some members in time.

"Calm down," I muttered to myself in the mirror. Taking another deep breath, I turned away from my reflection and walked back to my office.

A moment after I had seated myself, Quinn sauntered in. "Was that Evan I just saw?"

"It was," I answered.

"What was he doing here?"

"Oh, nothing in particular," I shrugged. "Just stopped by to chat."

"Really?" Quinn asked, quirking an eyebrow. "He's rather fond of you, isn't he? For a newlywed?"

"Quinn!" I reproached my boss. "I happen to be very fond of Sophie and I don't appreciate that insinuation."

Just what I need. Rumours that I'm having an affair with Evan. And I really did like Sophie. She was adorable.

"Well, I wouldn't blame you if my insinuation was true," Quinn replied unfazed.

"Evan is merely a friend," I said pointedly. "And so is Sophie."

"Of course, of course."

The day seemed to drag on endlessly. When I finally could go home I was wrecked. I sent a message to Sirius, inquiring about Henry, but fell asleep before he answered. The next morning there was a meeting at Headquarters. The moment I entered I knew something had gone wrong. "You didn't make it in time, did you?" I asked James.

He shook his head. "No, he was already dead when we got there. The Auror that was with him too."

"Do we know how it happened?"

"They entered with force," James answered. "They knew exactly where Henry was."

I swore under my breath. "How is that possible? His hiding place was perfect!"

James shrugged. "I don't know."

"You look tired," I frowned. It had been a month since his parents died and he clearly didn't get much sleep. "You should take a few days off."

"Can't. Too much work."

Poor James. He was in his final year of Auror training, had a three-month-old son, and now had to take care of his parents' affairs.

"Merlin, Prongs, you look like shit," Sirius commented from behind me.

"Thanks, mate," James snorted.

I leaned back against Sirius's chest, who put his arms over my shoulders. We had celebrated his 21st birthday quietly last week, because of Abby and Roger's death. Sirius put up a happy face for everyone, and James in particular, but the death of his foster parents had hit him hard. Still, he tried to smile and cheer the rest of us up.

"Did you get my message last night?" he asked me.

"No, I had fallen asleep already. I was exhausted."

"Why did Rosier come to visit you? I wish he would just leave you alone," Sirius hissed.

I gave him my standard reply, adding a sarcastic scoff to it. "He's a friend of mine."

"I don't trust him."

"He's a Death Eater," I said dryly. "I believe your mistrust is quite justified."

"I mean that I don't trust him around you," he pressed. "He only gave you up because he had no choice."

"You're worrying too much," I waved his concerns away. "The fact that he gave me up for his business shows that I mean little to him."

Sirius made a vague, unconvinced sound. "Don't underestimate him."

"I won't."

Dumbledore entered that moment and we all sat down. "The Ministry have returned Henry's body to his family," he greeted us.

"Do we know more about how it happened yet?" Emmeline Vance asked.

Dumbledore and Dorcas Meadowes simultaneously shook their heads. "We don't know how they found out," Dorcas sighed. It was one of her Aurors that had been killed too.

I realised I was staring into my coffee cup and blinked. When I lifted my head I noticed Benjy Fenwick watching me. I did not like the look in his eyes. Accusatory. I remembered the incident at John and Marlene McKinnon's burning house all too well. Benjy had accused me of betrayal.

"It's a mystery," Gideon said frustrated.

I felt more doubtful eyes on me. Not this again.

Benjy and his suspicions of me were contagious it seemed. Doesn't matter that I risk my bloody life every day, I thought bitterly. I come from the wrong family, thus I am suspect. Sometimes the discrimination works both ways.

I sighed. That wasn't fair of me. Now that things were going worse and worse, it was only natural that they needed someone to blame. And who fitted the job better than me? A pure-blood, from one of the worst families possible. Whose brother and cousin were killed while wearing a Death Eater mask. Who'd been engaged to a Death Eater. Who had many friends among the pure-bloods, and very little among the rest of the wizarding world.

Sure, I'd said I didn't agree with Voldemort, but who knew what I really did when I was in his circle? Nobody was there to check me. And sure, I was friends with Lily and James, and Remus and Peter, but they were friends of Sirius Black too. Sure, he had proven many times that he was on the Order's side, but he was still a Black.

And now that hiding places were suddenly discovered without any idea how, eyes searching for a culprit turned quickly to those with a suspicious surname.

Not everybody's eyes of course. Dumbledore had faith in me, as well as McGonagall. Gideon and Fabian I considered friends and I knew the feeling was mutual. It was mostly those I didn't know well, those who were just acquaintances of Sirius and me. I sighed again. I was so sick of it. Of all of it. The lies, the distrust, the fear, the death. Merlin, I just wanted to crawl in my bed and sleep for a year, curled up under my blankets.

The meeting was over rather quickly. There was nothing we could do until we knew how Henry was discovered.

I left for work, thinking about how I would tell Cecil the news that Aoife was married. To Connor O'Malley, respectable member of the wizarding community in Longford, widower, and over twice my cousin's age. The new Mrs. O'Malley would not be coming over to England for a while. She wanted to get settled in her new home.

I snorted contemptuously. Obviously that letter had not been written by Aoife herself, but by either her father of her mother. I had tried writing to her a few times, but every letter I had sent had been replied with a short, formal note, making it crystal clear to me that Aoife's mail was being read.

Still simmering about that injustice I trotted up the steps to the office. Startled I stopped in my tracks, but quickly masked my face. "Evan," I smiled. "Good to see you. What brings you here?"

With a charming smile Evan walked over to me and kissed my cheek. His expensive cologne invaded my nose. "I decided to stop by before work so I could invite you to lunch. One o'clock good for you?"

"Er… sure," I answered bewildered. "That'd be great." Fortunately I could hide my confusion behind the impeccable manners that had been pounded into my being by my mother. "I'll leave the restaurant to your choice."

"Good," Evan nodded. "I'll pick you up at one then."

"Bye." Still befuddled I watched Evan exit, wrapping his cloak around him to shield him from the raw weather outside.

A loud cough from behind me made me jump up. I turned around and rolled my eyes. "Not a word," I hissed at Quinn.

"I didn't say anything," my boss exclaimed in indignant innocence.

"Your non-verbal skills speak for themselves," I retorted.

"I just have one thing to say," Quinn insisted.

"What?"

"If he takes you to Addison's or Vienne's you know enough."

I growled threateningly and pushed past him to go to my office that had a door and a lock, so I could keep my annoyingly prying boss outside. Addison's and Vienne's were two very expensive restaurants in Diagon Alley. Both classy and with the perfect atmosphere for dates.

But, I told myself, this is just lunch, not dinner. Besides, you don't know whether he'll take you there. And even if he did, business meetings are also often held there. It would mean nothing. Nothing!

"Don't underestimate him," I repeated Sirius's words. Why couldn't Evan just disappear from my life?

That afternoon I sat tensely opposite my ex-fiancé, who leaned back in his chair with a very relaxed and content air. Addison, the owner of the restaurant, had taken our orders personally. Fingering the stem of my wineglass I decided attack was the best defence. "How is Sophie?" I asked sweetly. "I haven't seen her for a while."

Something flickered in Evan's eyes. I grabbed my glass more tightly. The reason I had always been afraid of him suddenly became very clear again.

"She's fine," he answered after a moment. "Busily overseeing the redecoration of the house at the moment."

"Ah." Feeling eyes on me, I looked around the restaurant. With effort I managed to suppress a groan. There were Giselle Malfoy – Narcissa's mother-in-law, Mrs. Crouch, Mrs. Fudge, and Narcissa's mother, Anastasia. They were talking in hushed voices to each other, their eyes on our table and their eyebrows raised.

"You shouldn't be seen with me in public. People will talk," I told Evan quietly.

"If you're referring to the four cows sitting near the window, I don't give a damn," he replied calmly.

"You've just taken over your father's business," I admonished him. "You don't need this kind of attention."

"The talks and rumours about your brother and cousin have died out," he said. "You're still invited to every party or soiree in London. I should be very honoured to have lunch with such a popular lady. " He smiled teasingly.

I snorted. "Indeed, so those old cows you just spoke of, they will be in want of new gossip. And what better rumour than two exes suddenly having lunch together in the most luxurious restaurant in Diagon Alley. And oh, let us not forget, one of those exes is a newlywed." I almost hissed the last words at him.

"Aren't we concerned about our reputation all of a sudden," Evan chuckled. "Listen, Niamh. I've married, produced an heir – Sophie is pregnant by the way – and I've taken over my father's position. I'm free to do whatever I want now."

Oh, bloody Merlin.

"I'm sure you understand that I've had quite enough of being the centre of gossip, Evan," I retorted. "I would like a little quiet in my life. And you should be with your wife in her delicate condition, instead of with me."

"I've missed you, Niamh," he declared softly.

My eyes widened. "What?" I gasped. What sort of cosmic joke is this?

"I can't even have a normal conversation with my wife. I've married a child. She has nothing of you in her. I'm going insane in that house. I want you."

I let out an incredulous laugh. "You're joking, aren't you?"

Evan's eyes flashed again. "Do I look like I'm joking?" he snapped. My stomach lurched.

Clearing my throat, I shifted uncomfortably on my chair and glanced at the four matrons near the window. They were still looking at us, no doubt fascinated by the serious turn our conversation had suddenly taken.

"Evan," I began. "I'm sorry to hear that you're unhappy. But we decided to be friends when we broke the engagement. I'm not the type to have an affair with a married man. On top of that, I like Sophie. I could never do this to her."

He narrowed his eyes. "You're refusing me?"

"Yes, I am," I answered. "I'm sorry."

I felt sweat trickle down my back. All I wanted was to get away from him, before he backed me into a corner somehow. "I think it's best if I leave now," I mumbled and got up.

Evan's hand shot out and closed itself forcefully around my wrist, crushing the bones together. I gasped in pain, barely managing not to back away from him. "People are watching," I hissed through my teeth. "Let go."

With an apologetic smile he released my wrist and leaned back in his chair. I rubbed over my bruised skin. "Goodbye."

As I walked out of the restaurant I could not suppress the shiver that ran down my spine.


Two days later I stood in a circle watching the torture of a Muggleborn couple. Mulciber, who specialized in the Imperius Curse, had had his fun with the man, forcing him to hurt his wife. Bellatrix had quickly grown tired of it and used the Cruciatus on him until he died.

The Muggleborn woman stood in the middle of the circle, cowering from us. The prints her husband's hands had left on her were clearly visible. I sighed and shifted my weight from one foot to the other. I was standing between Bellatrix – who had brought Regulus along – and Severus. I noticed Regulus was shifting on his feet too and fretting with his hands and wand. I frowned.

A sudden outburst of cruel laughter snapped my attention back to what was going on. Some of the group were taunting the woman with what they were going to do.

"Be my guest, Travers!" one of them laughed. I recognized Evan's voice.

"No, please," the witch gasped, tears beginning to stream down her cheeks. "Please don't."

I loathed Travers. He was not often with our group, which I was thankful for. I couldn't stand to be within ten feet of the man. I had since long learned that he'd been at the McKinnons murders and was the one that had raped Marlene. An activity he seemed to have a particular fondness for.

With disgust and pity I watched Travers step forward and fist his hand in the nightgown of the woman. I remained frozen as he worked her to the ground on her stomach. Long white legs flailed in panic when her gown was jerked up to her hips. I looked away when Travers fumbled with his robes and I pretended not to hear her screaming. But her voice rang in my head and tore at my nerves. The helplessness of that woman made me feel sick.

I shuddered with revulsion when I heard the satisfied groan coming from Travers. The screaming turned into a pained whimper.

I forced myself to look back. The side of her face was pressed into the floor; her eyes staring at something beyond the Death Eaters around her. My hand clenched around my wand. The rhythmic sounds coming from that monster echoed in my head and I could taste the bile on my tongue. Detached I watched my arm raise and point my wand at Travers.

I didn't fully realise what I was doing until after I had blasted him off his victim. Travers flew through the air, landing on top of Lucius. They tumbled to the floor.

My jaw dropped in shock. What have I done?

Evan ripped his mask from his face. "What the hell do you think you're doing?" he bellowed.

I stood motionless, staring at the woman, who pulled her gown back over her hips, crying and screaming at the same time.

"NIAMH!" Evan roared furiously.

I blinked and looked up. "What?" I asked arrogantly.

Evan huffed. "What?" he repeated incredulously.

"Are you insane?" Travers shouted at me, having scrambled to his feet.

"I was bored," I yawned. "And disgusted. Surely you can find something less filthy to stick it in. Think of it as a favour."

I heard Bellatrix guffaw next to me. Haughtily I took off my mask and raised an eyebrow at Travers, now that I had myself back under control.

"Thank you," the witch choked.

I had no choice. No, that was not entirely true; I could have grabbed her and Disapparated with her to Headquarters, but I chose differently.

Raising my wand at her, I summoned every grain of hatred I felt for myself and the people around me. "Avada Kedavra!"