Suspicion
1981. And still at war. I sighed and waved my wand carelessly to heat up the kettle. There would be an Order meeting here at Headquarters in half an hour. Yawning widely – it was only half past five in the morning – I waited for the water to start boiling. I stuck my wand behind my ear, clamping my mouth shut again.
"Bastard," I hissed, remembering the New Year's party two weeks ago. Though I'd been extremely careful to avoid Evan the entire night, he somehow had managed to drive me into a corner and… "Bastard!" I repeated. And stuck his tongue down my throat.
Sirius was furious. I'd had to do my best to convince him not to go after Evan straight away. He'd been brooding and stewing ever since he'd discovered the bruises in the shape of fingerprints on my elbow. I should not have told him, I pondered. It only made him more angry. Angry enough to do something stup --
Loud stumbling and yelling coming from the front door caused me to spin around and draw my wand. "ANYBODY!" someone screamed. "I NEED HELP!"
The door to the kitchen burst open to reveal Frank Longbottom. "Niamh! Where is the rest?"
"They're not here yet. What's going on?" I shouted.
"It's Edgar. The Dark Mark is over his house."
"Oh my God," I breathed.
"I have to get back. Contact who you can and send them there. Maybe it's not too late." Frank ran outside again to Disapparate.
I sent my Patronus away to alert the Order members and waited for others to show up here. It was nerve-wracking not knowing what was going on.
"Albus," I breathed in relief. The sight of the tall, white-bearded wizard was comforting. "Edgar Bones. He's been attacked. Frank has gone back. I've already sent messages to the others," I rambled all at once.
"Well done. Wait here, Niamh," Albus told me. "And send any others after me."
"I will."
"I want you to lay low here," he urged. "Whatever you do, do not go to that house."
"But…" I protested.
"Niamh, the last thing we need is someone shouting out your name there by accident," Albus explained and suddenly vanished without a trace, leaving me to wonder how the hell he did that.
Edgar Bones had a wife and three children. To protect them he'd gone into hiding. Only members in the Order knew where he were. How is it possible he's been fou - oh god… "No," I said out loud, almost scoffing at myself for the suggestion my mind had made. "No." My voice sounded less sure now.
No? Then how do you explain the Dark Mark looming over a house that only the Order knew existed, a little voice nagged.
"There is a traitor," I breathed. "Benjy is right."
Except for the fact that it wasn't me. But who was it then? I had no idea. I quickly ran over the faces of the Order I knew, but how do you identify a spy? Take a look at yourself, the little voice butted in again. No one thinks you are a spy, do they?
My stomach cramped. If there really was a spy among the Order, I was in great danger. One mention of my name among those of the Order members and I was as good as dead.
"Right," I said thoughtfully. "Maybe there isn't a spy then. After all, I'm still alive. There have been no strange questions. Nobody suspects anything. Right. So, it could all be an unfortunate accident."
I waited for hours at Headquarters. I sent Remus and Peter to Edgar's hiding place when they arrived for the meeting, as well as Emmeline. I reckoned Frank had alerted Auror Headquarters, because none of the members that were Auror came to the house.
"Please, please, let them be all right," I mumbled softly to myself.
Finally the front door opened again. Angry footsteps stomped towards the kitchen. "YOU TRAITEROUS SNAKE!" Benjy Fenwick bellowed at me.
Taken aback I stepped backwards.
"You sold them out!" he shouted. "You sold them to You-Know-Who!"
"Benjy, stop it!" I snapped. "I did no such thing."
"Save me your lies, bitch," he snarled. "I've never trusted you and I've been right all along."
"What is going on in here?" Dorcas Meadowes demanded, marching inside.
"She is what's going on!" Benjy shouted. "She's told her Death Eater friends where Edgar was."
"What are you talking about?" Dorcas asked bewildered.
I threw my hands in the air. "This topic is getting old, Benjy. I did not betray anyone."
More members now spilled into the kitchen.
"I knew it from the moment John and Marlene were murdered. And then Henry Fairburn, and now Edgar and his entire family – how could you, you heartless snake! They were not even ten years old!"
"FENWICK!" a livid voice roared. Sirius pushed past the onlookers and stood beside me. "Talk to my wife once more like that and I will not be responsible for the consequences," he growled, reaching for his wand.
"Good Merlin," Benjy sneered. "Both of them! A Black and a Carden! We should never have let you into the Order in the first place."
I grabbed Sirius's hand to stop him from cursing Benjy. "We've proven countless times that we are on your side, Benjy," I said calmly. "If you still refuse to trust us, that is your problem, not ours."
"Proven?" Benjy spat. "Your families are responsible for more than half the Muggleborn killings in the past century! How's that for proof? Practically every Black or Carden is a Death Eater! Excuse me for doubting your sincerity!"
"DO NOT COMPARE ME TO MY FAMILY!" Sirius exploded.
"Cut the drama, Black," Benjy scoffed. "You tell me then, how did You-Know-Who find out where Edgar was, huh? A little bird told him? I know exactly which bird told him." He pointed his finger at me. "This one."
"Benjy, that's enough!" James barked, stepping forward.
"How can you trust them? You have a newborn son, James. Think about him."
James's nostrils flared. "I trust Sirius and Niamh with my life – and with my son's life. More than anyone else in this room," he added with a poisonous look at Benjy, who let out a disbelieving laugh.
"Turning the tables on me now? I'm not the suspicious one here. She is in the perfect position to pass on Order information. And there is a spy! How else would you explain that Edgar is dead? The only ones who knew where he was are standing in this room right now! Edgar was sold to You-Know-Who and Carden is the one who did it!"
"That will be quite enough, Benjy," a soft but authoritative voice interjected. Dumbledore stood in the doorway. Immediately the murmuring stopped, but I still felt a dozen mistrustful eyes on me. Whatever Dumbledore said, the damage had already been done.
"I have no doubts whatsoever about Niamh's loyalty to the Order and your suspicion-mongering is not appreciated. We cannot be divided at times like these."
Benjy averted his eyes. I could feel Sirius shaking with rage next to me.
"Dorcas," Albus said, "I need you to alert Edgar's brother and sister."
"Of course, Albus."
Slowly the crowd in the kitchen dissipated. Lily walked over to me and wrapped her arm around my shoulder. "Don't listen to him, Niamh. He's the only one that thinks you're a double agent."
I gave her a sad smile. "Really, Lily? Then why are you the only ones still standing here?" I nodded at Remus, Peter, Gideon, and Fabian. James was trying to calm Sirius, who was sending incensed glares in the direction of the door Benjy had exited through.
Lily didn't know what to answer to that.
I cleared my throat. "I have to get to work."
Sirius followed me to the front door. "You're upset," he stated.
"Of course I'm upset," I snapped. "It's not everyday I'm accused of being responsible for the murder on three children and their parents."
"Benjy is a bastard. Don't listen to a word he says," Sirius growled. "You've saved his arse twice with your warnings."
"Just let it go, okay? I really don't want to talk about it right now." I turned away, but he grabbed my shoulders and closed his mouth over mine, kissing me thoroughly.
"I love you," he mumbled after he'd come up for air. His eyes narrowed. "And stay the hell out of Rosier's way."
"I will," I promised and stuffed my hair under a large hat. Quickly I walked away from Headquarters and Disapparated as soon as was possible.
At home I discarded the hat and changed coats before I Apparated to work, where I ignored Quinn's meaningful looks when I received a ridiculously beautiful bouquet, with a note from Evan apologizing for his behaviour. I sent the flowers to St Mungo's.
During my lunch break I took a walk through Diagon Alley for some groceries. Everywhere were hushed and frightened whispers about the Bones' murders. I stopped in front of Flourish and Blott's, checking my watch. I still had half an hour left. Indulging in book browsing, I decided, was a good way to take my mind off everything that had happened today.
Running my finger along the packed shelves and scanning the book titles, I gave a content sigh. Sonnets of a Sorcerer, Magical Theory, Charming Charms, Saucy Tricks for Tricky Sorts…
I made an interested sound and grabbed the book whose title I'd just read. "Wizard-in-shining-armour by Willow Witty," I mumbled. "Witch lit! Just what I need."
"Did you get my flowers?"
The book dropped to the floor with a thud. I glared at Evan, who was leaning against the side of a bookcase, and picked the book up. After straightening myself to my full height I said icily, "Yes, I have. I'm sure they'll look great on a nightstand in St Mungo's."
He stepped in front of me when I tried to get to the cash desk. "Do not toy with me, Niamh," he warned me in a low voice.
"We've been over and over this. Now kindly get out of my way – I have to get back to work."
I pushed past him, but his arm wrapped itself around my waist, keeping me next to him. He lowered his head to my ear. "How long are you going to play this game?" he whispered. "I'm not a patient man."
"My patience is wearing thin as well," I retorted. Merlin, how I wished I could just hex him into the next world. But I had to be careful. "Now move!"
With a pounding heart I stalked away from him the instant he pulled his arm back. I paid quickly and absent-mindedly. When I turned around Evan was gone. I sighed in relief. He really was scaring me. Why wouldn't he just back off? Shaking my head I walked back to work and pushed my ex-fiancé rigorously out of my mind.
To my surprise I found Remus in Sirius's flat when I Apparated there that night. "Hi, what are you doing here?"
"Got kicked out of my own place," he admitted tensely. "I was sacked – again."
I stopped peeling off my gloves. "I'm sorry."
"Thanks. So I'm camping out here for a while," he sighed. "Until I find another job. I hope you don't mind."
I stared indignantly at him. "Of course I don't mind, dimwit. Don't be ridiculous." With a flirtatious smile I took a step closer. "So… er… now that you're here, Remus my love, darling, flower of my heart, eternal object of my undying devotion –"
Remus gave me a dry look. "Don't push it."
"Sorry," I grinned. "But you will be doing the cooking while you're here, won't you?"
He burst out laughing. "I suppose I should protect you both from poisoning yourselves."
"I could do with a bit of healthy food," I confessed, patting my backside. "All those hurried dinners and skipped breakfasts and Diagon Alley lunches are having unwanted side-effects." I had been gaining some weight.
"That's not fair, Niamh," Remus groaned. "If I tell you you're right, you'll hex me. If I don't, you'll call me a liar."
"Dilemma, dilemma," I chuckled. "I'll make you a deal. You won't have to answer if you promise to make dinner."
"I accept!"
I took off my boots and padded into the kitchen. "Where is Sirius anyway?"
"Had to work late," Remus called from the living room. He came after me, waving his wand with all sorts of mysterious charms that had several knives chopping vegetables immediately. "Dorcas is dragging him all over England. She says she's determined to make a responsible Auror out of him."
I snorted with laughter. Sirius was in his second year now, and assisted on Auror missions. The poor bugger had been assigned to Dorcas Meadowes, an absolute hellion when it came to training assistant Aurors.
Of course James, in his third and final year, was under even more pressure. As a Junior Auror he was allowed to handle smaller cases on his one, but still had to come along on more important missions for training. He was lucky if he had time to sleep.
"Can I trust you with the salad?" Remus asked me warily.
I gave him an offended glare. "Yes."
We worked on dinner in silence for a while.
"Ugh," I grunted. "I ran into Evan again. It's like he's following me everywhere."
Remus slowly turned his head to look at me. "He's following you?"
"Well, that's the impression I get. He pops up everywhere, trying to talk me back into his bed," I said heatedly. "Bastard."
"He won't give up?"
"No! And I can't even put a good curse on him, because I'm supposed to be friends with him. Friends only, because his father's company came first. We'd be more if that hadn't stood in our way. Bleedin' hippogriffs, he's convinced that the only reason I hold back is because of Sophie, because that's the only reason I can give him! And he doesn't think that's a valid reason at all!"
"Niamh?"
"What?"
Remus stared at his frying pan, refusing to meet my eyes. "Have you considered giving in to Evan?"
I stared in pure disbelief at him. "Could you repeat that, please?"
He lifted his head and looked me in the eye. "Maybe you should consider giving in to him."
"Are you out of your bloody mind?" I shrieked.
"Look, think about it. The more you fight him off, the more eager he'll get. I bet he loves the thrill of the chase," Remus reasoned. "And you said it yourself, he's following you. How long before he finds out where you Apparate to at night?"
"He doesn't follow me around. I only said it felt like that," was my petty retort.
"Niamh…"
"NO!" I screamed. "You don't know him, Remus, you don't know what he's like. He's dangerous and cruel and vile – I'm not afraid to admit that I'm terrified of him sometimes." I took a shuddering breath. "I will never, ever give in to him. He will never touch me again. I'm already a murderer and a torturer; I will not become a whore too."
Shocked, Remus stared at me with wide amber eyes. "I never implied that --"
I raised a hand to cut him off. "I know you didn't. But that's what it would feel like if I did that. I was forced into a relationship with him once and I continued that for the Order's sake. I've never felt more relieved than the day he broke the engagement. I don't care what happens, but I'll never go back to him."
I stood shaking with emotion before him, realising full well that Remus's suggestion was probably the safest thing to do.
Never!
"I'm sorry," Remus said softly. "I had no idea."
A little embarrassed about my outburst, I shrugged. "Yes, well, your Gryffindorness must be rubbing off on me."
"As long as you don't adopt the habit of throwing caution to the wind," he replied, a little sharply.
"I won't."
"Watch your back."
A/N: Messr-Paddifoots-love, Ms PadfootVerona, hpandfriendsruletheworld, and Jenni: Thanks very much for your reviews. Evan is a nasty piece of work indeed. Unfortunately we haven't seen the end of him yet.
Anyways, as always I love to know what you think, so drop me a line!
