A/N: So many questions indeed, Messr-Paddifoots-love & SexeiAlexeiGurl, but I'm not answering one of them ;). I wonder how you thought the story ended, SexeiAlexeiGurl, but I suppose we won't find out - unless you have the same dream, of course. My plot bunny has connections to the secret police, so maybe she has pulled some strings to get your dream erased. You never know ;)
I hope you all like this chapter!
Tearing at the Seams
The week following Fabian and Gideon's death I was insanely busy at work, which helped to take my mind off the twins. Deirdre had finally returned from Italy, so I went to visit her and Orion in the weekend. I believed my mother – who was there as well – had somewhat given up on marrying me off to a suitable party. She now settled for sending me wistful and disappointed looks, which irked me even more.
"You're really happy, aren't you?" I smiled as I said goodbye to my sister at the door.
She beamed widely. "Of course I am. Orion is perfect. I think I'm in love with him."
Suddenly I flung my arms around her. She chuckled a bit surprised, but hugged me back. "That's good," I said, and grabbed her arms so I could look her in the eye. "That's really good."
"Are you all right?" she asked curiously.
"I'm fine," I smiled. "I'm just glad you're happy."
"Do you want to go out to dinner next week?" Deirdre asked. "Just us sisters?"
"Sure," I answered. "Friday?"
"Yeah. I'll come by your place at seven. We can go to Diagon Alley."
"Sounds great."
"Okay, I'll see you next week," she said.
I kissed her cheek and walked to the door. With my hand on the doorknob I turned around, feeling a strange urge to say something. "Deirdre, I – you're still my little sister, even though you're a married witch now. I know that Rowan and I have put you through a lot, with this war going on –"
"Niamh," my sister interrupted me. "I know you're just doing what you think is right. And so did Rowan." She cast her eyes down when she mentioned our brother. We did not speak often about him.
"Yeah," I mumbled softly. "Yeah, I am." My heart clenched painfully. What would she think of me if she knew? Would she blame me for Rowan's death?
"That doesn't change the fact that it must be hard on you," I continued. "With Father and Mother also – you're my sister and I love you. You know that, don't you?"
"Of course I know that," Deirdre said bewildered. "What is going on?" Her blue eyes narrowed shrewdly. "Are you sure you're all right?"
"Yeah," I nodded, "I am. Never mind me." I waved my earlier words away with my hand and a naughty grin. "I must be getting old."
Deirdre snorted. "You must be getting crazy, you mean. It's a good thing you didn't marry Evan. All this inbreeding is having its effects, methinks."
I snorted back at her. "Excuse me? Evan is only – what is he of me?" I counted back quickly. "Grandfather Oisín's grandmother was a Rosier, sister of Evan's great-grandfather, whereas our dear grandmother Cassiopeia was a first cousin of Orion's grandfather – what's his name?"
"Aquila."
"Right, that's the one. Which makes you and Orion closer related than Evan and me. He's my fourth cousin once removed, and Orion is your third cousin," I finished triumphantly. "So, if anyone should be concerned about inbreeding effects, it's you."
"That's only generation closer!"
"But it's still closer!"
"You could marry a Malfoy and beat me to it," Deirdre suggested. "Devon is your second cousin."
"Ah, Great-aunt Étáin," I sighed. "My role-model. Murdered her first husband –"
"Supposedly!"
" – and came to England in pursuit of the next. Fortunately Julius Malfoy was even more cunning than her and locked her in her rooms for the rest of her life, before she had the chance to dispose of him as well."
"I wonder how he got her pregnant," Deirdre pondered, tapping her finger against her lips.
I grinned from ear to ear. "There are so many ways in which I could respond to that; I can't even choose."
"Oh, shut your gob," she grumbled. "I only meant that he never let her out and never visited her."
"Apparently he did," I said cheekily. "Twice."
"Ugh, it is just disturbing to think about that," she shuddered.
"One big, happy family history," I chortled.
"Especially Great-grandfather Diarmuid."
"What?" I frowned. "He was happily married, wasn't he?"
"Oh, sure. Except that he's the reason our family never visit the Highlands. You never heard that story?"
"You mean…"
"He stole his bride from her family! And the MacGreary clan is not known for their forgiving nature!"
"I always thought it was a romantic story," I admitted.
"I bet poor Isobel thought the same," Deirdre snorted. "She had to patch up her husband – including re-growing several limbs – before she could actually get married."
"We could write a book on our family," I agreed.
"What are you two girls laughing about?" my mother asked, strolling into the hall.
"Our romantic family history," Deirdre answered dryly. We burst out laughing.
My mother looked slightly confused, but decided not to ask further. "When will you come and visit your father, Niamh?" she inquired instead.
"Er… how about I come over for an old-fashioned Sunday's dinner tomorrow?" I offered.
"That'll be nice – he couldn't come with me today. He had to take care of some business," she explained vaguely. As usual she had no idea what her husband was up to.
"That's a shame, but I'll see him tomorrow then," I said. "Goodbye, Mother, Deirdre."
I put on the hood of my cloak and wrapped the tightly woven fabric firmly around me, before I stepped out into the harsh winter wind.
"Can't you two talk about something else?" my mother sighed, throwing her napkin on the table.
"Forgive us, Astarte," my father apologized. "We are being very inconsiderate."
My father and I had been discussing the Dark Lord's plans and the situation in society. I had become somewhat of a substitution for a son to my father, I believed. Our conversations were those of two equals instead of a father and daughter.
It left me feeling very strange. On the one hand it felt good to have my father respect me, instead of seeing me as a delicate flower that only talked about fashion, rumours, and parties – I glanced at my mother. But on the other hand, he respected me as something I was not. He respected a lie. Though I did not like to think about it, he would never respect who I really was. If I told him the truth he would at the very least disown me without giving it a second thought. He would probably do a whole lot worse.
I coughed and shifted on my chair. "So, Mother, how is the rest of the family?" I asked as a peace-offering.
"Well, Fionn and Aubrey are visiting their daughter in Ireland, but they're not coming back to England after that. They've closed their house in Kent."
"Really, why?" I mumbled, jabbing at my vegetables with my fork.
"My dear," my mother chuckled. "Aubrey wants to be with her daughter now she's pregnant, of course."
"Aoife is pregnant?" I sputtered. "Salazar's balls –"
"Niamh! Language!" my mother exclaimed appalled.
"Sorry, Mother," I mumbled. I gave her a sharp look. "She never mentioned wanting children."
"Well, I suppose Connor must have changed her mind," my mother shrugged.
"I'm sure he has," I muttered.
"What was that, dear?"
"I said I'm sure she's happy."
Dinner was considerably less pleasant the rest of the evening. I had no way of getting into contact with Aoife and I had no clue whether she was happy or not. My mother – delighted that she had my father's attention – chattered non-stop. She never noticed I was staring glumly at my plate.
I excused myself after dessert, saying I had an early start tomorrow.
"Don't be too long," my mother insisted.
"I won't," I promised. "Bye, Father."
"Goodnight, Niamh."
I Apparated to Sirius's flat, hidden away in my cloak. I chuckled when he opened the door with a wary look and his wand in his hand, his hair dishevelled, his shirt hanging out of his trousers, and sleep crinkles in his face.
"Boo," I grinned. "Did I wake you?"
"Yes," he grumbled, casting an angry glare at me through black strands of hair.
"Well, I'll go then," I shrugged and turned around.
"I think not," he growled and grabbed my arm to pull me inside. He planted me against the wall and tucked his wand in his back pocket after he had shut and warded the door. "Now then, Mrs Black," he said thoughtfully. "I think I deserve something to ease the discomfort of you waking me up so inconsiderately."
I raised a haughty eyebrow. "I'll make you some warm milk."
"That won't be enough, I'm afraid," he drawled, letting his eyes rake shamelessly over my body. "I need far more compensation."
"Do you, now?"
"Definitely. What say you?"
"I am abhorred by your manners. You haven't even offered me a drink."
"You can drink something afterwards."
"Tsk, your powers of persuasion need improving. I am not at all impressed."
He narrowed his eyes, clearly contemplating whether he should continue this discussion. "Bed, witch. Now!" Apparently not.
I shrieked with laughter when he cupped my backside and lifted me off the ground. Wrapping my legs around his hips I kissed him deeply as he made his way to the bedroom.
Several glorious moments later I was tucked against his warm body while his fingers played with my rings on the chain between my breasts. I glanced upwards and rolled my eyes at the exasperatingly smug expression on his face. With an almighty groan he reached down and pulled the blankets over our bodies. "I'm exhausted," he informed me.
"I bet you are," I snorted.
I felt a chuckle rumble in his chest as he pulled me closer. We lay in silence for a while. I listened to his deep and even breathing, enjoying the steady rise and fall of his chest. I closed my eyes, almost willing his warmth to seep into me. I held on a little tighter.
Sirius nuzzled his face in my hair. "You smell nice," he cajoled, one large hand slowly travelling south again.
"I thought you were exhausted?"
"Doesn't mean I can't… eh?"
"Again? Don't you get enough or -- oh! Sirius!" I gasped.
"That's all this wizard wanted to hear," he grinned and rolled on top of me.
"Do you think there's a spy?" I asked him some time later.
Sirius shifted his body so he could look at me. "I'm confused here. How did we get from a great shag to spy questions?" He blinked owlishly at me.
I punched him good-humouredly in the ribs. "Stop goofing around. I'm just wondering if you think –"
"Of course I have thought about it," he frowned. "Why do you ask?"
"Something Dumbledore said," I explained. "He thinks there may be a leak somewhere in the Ministry or the Order. He warned me to be extremely careful."
Sirius's face tensed. "He's damn right, he is. I want you to be careful too. If you feel something is off, I want you to come to me straight away. You're not taking any chances, do you hear me?"
"I hear you," I assured him. "But you don't have to worry. I don't think anything is wrong. Yet."
"That's not good enough. Promise me." He took my chin in his hand, his eyes boring into mine. "Promise me that you won't take any risks."
"I promise. I'll be careful."
"You'd better."
I smiled at his serious face. "So protective," I teased.
"Of course I am. As much as I can at least," he grumbled. "Has Rosier been giving you any trouble again?"
"No, not much," I shook my head.
"I should ask Dorcas if we've got enough on him to arrest him," Sirius said. "You'll be safe from him then."
"Wouldn't Aurors have arrested him already if they did?" I asked sullen.
He shrugged. "Maybe we can pull some strings."
"It could work." I looked up hopefully at Sirius's face. "I'd really feel much safer if he wasn't around. Evan – he's – I'm afraid, Sirius."
He swore under his breath, tucking a curl behind my ear. "I wish I could do more to keep him away from you."
I shook my head. "Don't. It'll make people suspicious. And Evan is already convinced there is another man in my life. If he gets so much as a whiff of confirmation, he'll stop at nothing."
Sirius heaved a deep sigh. "You know, if it makes you feel better, we could stop seeing each other for a while."
Incredulously I propped myself on one elbow, tossing my hair over my shoulder. "How exactly would that make me feel better?" I snapped.
"Not better, but safer," Sirius said quickly. "I don't like it either, but if it helps…"
"That doesn't help!"
"All right; I'm sorry."
I let myself drop back on the bed. "I didn't mean to snap at you," I apologized. "But you're the only thing that's keeping me sane here. I need you."
Sirius leaned into me and placed a lingering kiss on my lips. I snaked my arms around his neck and hugged him tightly. "Hold me for a moment," I whispered.
"Don't worry," he whispered back. "I won't let you go."
The time I spent with Sirius was too short for my liking. As usual. Sirius had to get up at 6 o'clock. Dorcas had ordered him to be at Auror Headquarters at 6.30. I groaned and turned around in the bed, burying my face in my pillow. "Come on, get up, lazy witch," Sirius chuckled. "You have a job to go to."
With a cranky growl I swatted at his hands that eagerly pinched my bottom. "Cheeriness in the morning is punishable by law, isn't it?" I asked the pillow.
"It's not." It was not my pillow who answered, but the annoying black-haired wizard next to the bed. "Up you get; you don't want to be late."
"Yes, I do," I answered stubbornly.
"Aguamenti."
I let out a piercing screech when cold water hit me in the head. I flew up straight and spluttered indignantly, wiping my soaked hair from my eyes. "You – you – you idiot!"
"Honestly, is that the best you can do?"
"Bloody bastard!"
"Good morning to you too, love," he grinned.
"I hate you!"
"No, you don't," Sirius asserted, running a confident hand through his locks. "You love me."
"You're a bumptious ass, that's what you are."
"And you adore me for it," he replied cheekily.
"I should just – " I grumbled.
"Come on, give me a kiss so I can get to work. You don't want me to get dismembered by Dorcas, do you?" He wiggled his eyebrows at me.
"Don't tempt me," I threatened, but he had softened me already. Sirius noticed it immediately and grinned.
"Stop being so full of yourself," I snorted, but I sat up on my knees and held out my arms.
He slid his hands in my hair, bowing down to claim my lips. I sighed and grabbed his shoulders, while he took the opportunity to ravish my mouth with enthusiasm. When he pulled back, I giggled and rubbed my hands over my blushing face.
"Well," he said, almost purring. "Good morning indeed." He ran his tongue over his bottom lip with a dark look in his eyes. I cleared my throat.
He smirked. "I'll see you tonight?"
"Yes," I nodded. "Come by my flat. Make sure you go as your animal form," I pressed him.
"Just meet me here," Sirius frowned.
"No, I have to be home sometimes. Otherwise – "
"Otherwise Rosier will get suspicious," he deducted.
"Yeah."
"Right, I should be off around seven," Sirius said.
"I'll be home by then, I think, but I'll send you a message."
"Okay, I'll see you tonight."
I smiled. "Bye."
After a quick kiss he walked out of the bedroom.
"Sirius?"
He turned around. "Hmm?"
"I love you."
"I know," he winked. Seeing my glowering look, he burst out laughing. "I love you too, you daft girl. Now get out of bed!"
"Yeah, yeah," I muttered. "Go on then, you don't want to be late either."
A horrified look crossed his face for a fleeting moment, before he dashed through the door. I heard the front door slam shut and chuckled maliciously. Get him, Dorcas.
Work was normal that day. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary. I didn't run into Evan; I didn't see any strange signs. No indication of disaster rushing closer. I left work fairly early, waving goodbye at Quinn, before I Apparated home. I took a warm shower and dressed in a comfortable sweater and jeans before I started on making some dinner.
I sent my Patronus to Sirius to tell him I was already home, while I was chopping up vegetables.
At half past seven he hadn't responded yet. This was strange – he always managed to send me a message somehow. A nagging worry began to creep into my head. Why didn't he answer? I paced around my living room waiting for an answer. When I glanced at the clock again it was a quarter to nine.
He could've been held up at the office. Maybe something had happened and he had to work late. He could've forgotten to send me a message. Or he could be too busy. I sent my Patronus away again, to Lily this time, asking whether she had heard from Sirius. Twenty minutes later it returned. Lily hadn't heard from Sirius, though she knew James was still at work.
"Bugger," I muttered. I marched into the kitchen, flicking my wand at the hob to turn it off. I positioned myself on my sofa to wait for Sirius, trying to ignore the unsettling feeling in my stomach.
I had not been waiting five minutes, when –
"Oh Merlin, no," I moaned. "Not now." Pain flared up in my left forearm; I could feel the Mark blackening on my skin. For a moment I was torn up in doubt. If I went now, I wouldn't know if something was wrong with Sirius; if I didn't go, some Death Eater would come and inquire if something was amiss.
I jumped up from the sofa and began to pace around again. "Damn it, damn it," I mumbled. I stood still in the middle of the room, chewing on my lip.
"If you feel anything is off, I want you to come to me straight away." Sirius's voice spoke loud and clear in my head, mixing with Dumbledore's. "At the slightest hint of anything seeming wrong, go to Headquarters. I don't want you taking any risks."
"Oh, please," I snorted contemptuously. "Now's not the time to overreact. If you don't go, something really will be wrong."
I summoned my cloak and mask.
For years I wondered why I did not notice something was wrong immediately. Why I ignored the strange excitement vibrating between the black-clad figures. Why I took my place in the circle and did not run. Two people were missing from the circle. Evan and Severus.
"Friends!" the Dark Lord exalted. "A joyous evening it is." His black robes billowed around him when he whirled around to look at us all. I bowed deeply.
"Tonight," he continued, "we'll get rid of sullied blood. Traitorous blood."
My own traitorous blood drained from my face. A horrifying suspicion made my skin crawl and my hair stand on end.
The Dark Lord beckoned at something outside the circle. Two Death Eaters dragged something along in between them.
Really, there's no need to panic, my mind tried to reason with me. You've seen this before. This is no different. But I recognized the posture of the man, though his head was covered with a sack and though he was pushed onto his knees.
"No," I breathed, staring almost enthralled with detached horror at the figure in the circle. I did not notice Lucius turning his head to me in response to my utterance.
The Death Eater I recognized as Severus pulled the sack from his captive's head. My eyes fell shut, knowing that everything was lost. They hadn't closed fast enough for me to miss long, black hair and grey eyes full of hatred. I had seen the bloodstained gag and the torn corner of his mouth.
"Finally," the Dark Lord hissed. "Sirius Black."
