A/N: Thanks for all the reviews, Domlando Blonaghan, SexeiAlexeiGurl, Kurama-forever, Jennie, Messr-Paddifoots-love, and three new reviewers (yay!) Nice Huntress, Coryna, and Kendra-the hyper one! And sorry for the long wait! (Exams)

Anyways, I think a big warning is in order here: this chapter is rated R for language and violence of various natures. If you feel you might be offended, please skip... well, basically everything but the beginning and the end. If you have read it, let me know what you think, because it has been an awful chapter to write and it took me ages ( also because it's so beeping long!)


Falling Apart

I wish I could say I did something heroic. That I leaped forward to defend him from the Dark Lord, that I hexed everything and everyone into oblivion, that I fought myself to death to protect him. But I didn't. I should have; it would have saved me from a lot. Instead I remained frozen as a statue. This is not happening. This is not happening.

Sirius glared furiously at Voldemort. His white teeth flashed when he curled his lip up in disdain.

"Welcome," the Dark Lord said, almost pleasantly. "I've been wanting you here for quite some time now. So good of you to finally join me and my friends."

A muffled sound came from behind the gag. I had no doubt that whatever he was trying to say was foul. Voldemort flicked his wand and the gag disappeared. Sirius licked the torn corner of his mouth for a moment. I groaned when suddenly every part of his being turned defiant.

Don't, Sirius, please, please don't, I begged silently.

"Go to hell, you ugly bastard," he growled, spitting in front of Voldemort's feet.

I closed my eyes again, cringing at the angry hisses coming from my fellow Death Eaters. After a moment I opened them. Voldemort's gaze was terrifying. The red behind his pupils was swirling and sparkling. In an instant he had raised his wand and Sirius keeled over backwards, writhing on the floor, groaning and panting, but refusing to cry out. His face was twisted into agony.

I started forward, but caught myself just in time. I heard the loud, raucous laughter coming from somewhere on my right. Bellatrix.

I clenched my fists, biting on my tongue to stop me from crying out in rage and hurt. When Voldemort finally stopped an audible whimper escaped me. Lucius turned his head again. This time I noticed. I stood up straight, staring right in front of me as if nothing had happened. Lucius took a breath to say something, but fortunately his attention was caught by the Dark Lord, whose breathing had quickened as he looked at Sirius lying on the ground.

"How was that, Black?" he hissed.

Sirius sneered, pushing himself to his knees. "Is that the best you can do?"

SHUT UP! SHUT UP!

What in Merlin's name was he doing? Stubborn idiot! Had he any idea what he was bringing on himself with comments like that?

My blood ran cold when I realised he did. Sirius knew exactly what he doing. He knew he had no chance of escape. But no Gryffindor goes down without a fight. I could feel my eyes fill with tears. Not yet, I pleaded, not caring to whom – just someone who would listen. Not yet, not now. Please, not yet. I bit down on my lip when it began to tremble.

Sirius's body convulsed again, falling back to the ground. Alarmed I looked around. It was now Evan who was performing the Cruciatus Curse. Roaring with laughter he yanked his wand up, breaking the spell. Sirius's shoulders trembled when he pushed himself off the ground once more, still as audacious as ever.

"Who wants to have a go next?" Voldemort called out. Several Death Eaters stepped forward immediately. He cackled. "Such enthusiasm. See how popular you are here, Black?"

Sirius only scoffed. "You're all pathetic," he shrugged. "What do I care?"

The Dark Lord ignored him. "Let's see. Who next? Amycus? Antonin? Rodolphus? Or Bella, you? No." He swept past several Death Eaters, almost buoyant. "Ah!" He strode purposefully towards my side of the circle. My heart stopped when he stood still right in front of me. "How about you, my dear Niamh? Is he not an old schoolmate of yours? Wouldn't you like to get re-acquainted?"

I was going to throw up – I was sure of it. I couldn't move, though I had the presence of mind not to look Voldemort in the eye to prevent Legilimency. I held my head bent in fake submission. After all these years I was finally out of my depth. I had no idea what to do.

"Niamh!" Lucius hissed.

I became aware of the fact that the Dark Lord was eyeing me intently.

"What the hell are you waiting for?" a ragged voice said behind him. My eyes shot towards Sirius, who stared intensely at me, as if he were trying to see through the mask. His jaw was clenched and he held himself motionless, even though I knew his muscles were twitching from the after-effects of the curses. "Come on then, do it!" he snarled.

Voldemort stepped aside, that particular gleam still in his eyes. My hand slid in my pocket and I got out my wand. I staggered stiffly into the circle.

Sirius sat back on his heels, gazing up at me. Every fibre of him screamed insolence and rebelliousness, but the grey of his eyes was pleading when he repeated, "Do it."

Something flashed in front of my eyes.

I gritted my teeth. "Don't you have something better to do than annoy me? There must be loads of people more interested in talking to you than I am."

"No doubt, but you are intriguing, Niamh. Seems to me you've changed from a stuck-up bitch into – well, I don't know, something else. I would like to know more about you."

"Thank you, what a nice thing to say," I said, sarcasm dripping from every single word.

"Don't be sarcastic, it was a compliment. When I say you've changed, I mean you don't seem to take much pleasure and pride in being a pure-blood Slytherin from an ancient family anymore."

I groaned softly, raising my wand with a trembling hand.

"Don't tell me this was a mistake. You liked it as much as I did." His voice became louder and his eyes were so dark they almost seemed black.

"You don't understand, Black. We have to stop this. It's just not possible."

"Actually, I do understand. But you need to understand, Niamh," he said through gritted teeth while pinning me to the wall again, "that I don't give up."

"Don't weasel your way out, Carden," Sirius growled. "Do it!"

"You won't admit it, but you want me. I've had enough of it. Now say it."

I felt like I was suffocating. My other hand came up to my face, removing my mask. Sirius frowned briefly, his eyes gliding over my face, before he put his derisive expression back in place. "What are you waiting for?"

"You can stop giving that girl over there those death glares now. I'm not interested in her."

"I wasn't doing that," I said blushing.

"Are you sure? Because she looks like she's about to cry."

"I said what the hell are you waiting for?" he shouted. There was a spark of anxiousness in his eyes now. He was willing to sacrifice himself for me.

Sirius's jaw dropped. "You can't be serious. How can you say that? It is more. Jesus, Niamh, when you sent me that note I thought you wanted to talk about after graduation. What we're going to do. I want you with me!" he shouted, running his hands through his hair.

He expected me to do it. To torture him and Merlin knew what else. My wand arm trembled when I pointed it at his face.

His hands moved to my shoulders, gripping them painfully tight. "The thought of him with his hands on you –" Sirius's eyes darkened again. "You're mine," he growled suddenly, "mine alone. You belong to me." His grip tightened even more. "Just as much as I belong to you."

I closed my eyes.

"Come away with me. You're not your brother or your father. You can't blame yourself for what they do. Don't do that to yourself. It'll drive you mad and believe me, I know. Come with me," he said urgently. "For once, just trust me and come with me."

"Do it," he hissed. "Come on, Carden, stop stalling. You know you want to." I knew he wanted me to.

"Sirius…" I said. He opened his eyes again. "I love you. Let me love all of you."

I looked him straight in the eye. He smiled. "It's okay; do it."

"You are mine, I am yours. The magic of the earth bind us, our love keep us. I give my strength and my life, my heart and my body, for you to have and to hold, to protect and to cherish. You are mine, I am yours, we are one. Thereto I pledge you my faith and my love, in this life, in this time, in this body, for as long as we both shall live."

My wand arm dropped, dangling limply at my side. Sirius turned his head away, a painfully contorted expression on it. "Stupid girl," he whispered.

"What the hell is going on here?" Antonin Dolohov shouted.

"Well, if she won't do it, I will," Lucius snarled and hurried forward.

I whirled towards him and aimed. With a loud gust of air he flew backwards out of the circle, landing in a heap of robes and limbs. I turned back to the Dark Lord, clenching my jaw tightly together and sticking my chin high in the air, breathing shakily through my nose.

Evan tore off his mask, staring in disbelief at me. "You! It's you!" His face twisted in disgust. "With him?"

I said nothing, but crossed what little distance there was between Sirius and me and knelt down in front of him. "I can't. I'm sorry," I said shakily," but I couldn't do it." I wiped furiously at my eyes. "I could never – you sh – shouldn't have even tried. I'm sorry."

"It's okay," Sirius soothed, but his voice held a disheartening note. He gently caressed my cheek.

"I love you," I said urgently, leaning into his hand and kissing his palm.

"Shh, I know. I love you too."

"Filthy blood traitor!" Severus hissed, incredulity and loathing fighting for control in his face. Like Evan, he had thrown away his mask as if he couldn't grasp what was going on if he stayed behind it.

"You whored yourself out to this – this louse?" Evan roared. "This disgrace?"

"The only disgrace here is you, Evan!" I screamed. "You're a disgusting pile of shit!"

"I'll kill you!" he bellowed, whipping out his wand.

"Evan, enough!" Voldemort snapped. "We'll deal with them later. Expelliarmus!"

My wand flew out of my hand, straight into the Dark Lord's grasp.

"Evan, Lucius, Severus, you stay here and guard them. Take them to the old Queshire Manor and lock them up – separately."

I swallowed. Voldemort left us with the three men who took this betrayal even more personally than the others.

"The rest of you will join me. I have some unfinished business to attend to." He turned his snakelike eyes to us. "With Dorcas Meadowes."

I exchanged a shocked look with Sirius.

Severus and Evan stalked over to us and grabbed my arms, hauling me to my feet. I struggled to get free, but two wands prodding in my ribs made me change my mind. Lucius yanked Sirius up. He snarled and planted his elbow in Lucius's stomach, who doubled over in pain.

"Impedimenta!" Severus hissed. Sirius toppled over backwards. Angrily he got up again after the spell faded, but stilled when he found Lucius's wand in his face.

"Think again, Black," Lucius sneered. "Get up."

His eyes spilling hatred Sirius straightened himself to his full height, a good two inches taller than Lucius, and stared him provocatively in the face. I couldn't fight the tiny smile that appeared on my face. He really was incorrigible.

"Move," Lucius ordered.

"Oh – and Evan?" the Dark Lord interjected.

"Yes, Master?"

"Make sure she's alive when I return."

Something tightened in Evan's face. "Yes, my lord." There was reluctance in his voice. I swallowed again.

"Good. As for you," he told the other Death Eaters. "You know where to Apparate to."

With loud cracks the black shapes around us disappeared, leaving a horrible silence. I cried out in shock when an arm locked itself around my throat and another around my waist, pulling me flush against a hard body. "Severus, you go ahead and see if everything's clear. I'll hold her," Evan panted in my neck.

"Get your hands off her!" Sirius barked, jumping forward, only to be restrained by Lucius's wand.

"Be nice, Black," he hissed. "Come with us quietly, and she won't be hurt. Make any trouble, however…" He pointed his wand at me with a questioning eyebrow. "What do you say?"

A tiny muscle twitched in Sirius's jaw and his eyes were shooting fire. He was ready to explode.

"It's fine, Sirius," I said quickly.

"At least one of you has some sense," Severus scoffed.

"Fuck off, Snivellus," Sirius hissed.

Lucius rolled his eyes and grabbed Sirius's arm. "Hold on. I'm warning y – "

I couldn't hear the rest, because Evan Disapparated with me. We landed in front of a deserted, derelict manor. It was a gloomy place, walls sagged, the crumbling stones overgrown with weeds. No one had lived here for decades. It was one of the hiding places of the Death Eaters, chosen for their incredible remoteness. Nobody would ever find us here. My heart tumbled straight into my shoes.

Two more cracks to our left indicated that the others had arrived too.

"Inside," Severus said and walked up to the front door, un-warding it.

Sirius was pushed inside before me. He twisted in Lucius's grasp. "Don't worry, Niamh. We'll be all right." He smiled encouragingly at me.

I nodded frantically, needing to believe him.

Evan laughed coldly. "Keep dreaming, traitor," he drawled.


Evan shoved me into the room so roughly I stumbled into a table. A cruel smirk adorned his face when I turned around and looked at him. "I'll be back in a moment," he sneered and closed the door.

My breath caught in my throat. I leaned on the table for support with one hand, clasping the other in front of my mouth to prevent me from screaming. I was nauseous. I exhaled long and carefully in an attempt to control myself, pinching the bridge of my nose between two fingers, but my effort was futile. My insides squirmed in fear and my heart beat desperately fast.

"It'll be okay," I whispered to the empty room.

Who the hell are you kidding? You're going to die. "No," I moaned, tears obscuring my vision.

I startled when I hear a loud shout from outside. I recognized Sirius's enraged roar. It made me come out of my stupor and run to the window. No Gryffindor bravery for me – I would not carry my fate with grace and courage.

My hands slid quickly over the window, searching for a handle. I gave a cry of frustration when it was locked. "Damnit," I breathed, examining the other windows. "Damnitdamnitdamnitdamnit." Locked, all of them.

I raced to the tapestries on the right wall to look for hidden doors. None. "Come on," I moaned. Wildly I looked around me. Panic now really took over and I had trouble thinking straight.

The door. In an instant I was there, fumbling with the handle. "Please, please." But the door too was firmly locked.

With new resolve I pressed lips tightly together and let my fingers slide over every inch of wall in the room. There had to be a way out. Old mansions always had secret passages. They always had. This one too. It had to have one. It just had to. I spurred myself to work faster. Evan's promise to come back caused me to gag. I refused to think about what he had in mind. My hands trembled and my fingertips scraped against the stones, tearing nails and drawing blood.

About halfway through the room I had still found nothing. A key turned in the lock, followed by the murmur of several spells. Wild-eyed I turned around, my back against the wall. The door opened. My head shot from left to right until my eyes rested on a heavy, silver candlestick. I grasped it firmly into my left hand.

Evan stepped inside. His eyebrow rose in surprise at the sight of the candlestick. I squared my jaw and stared defiantly at him. Maybe Sirius's hero complex had rubbed off on me after all.

Lucius entered after Evan and walked to an old, decrepit fauteuil. Slowly he lowered himself in it, keeping his eyes on me. The look in his eyes unnerved me. He leaned relaxed against the back of the chair, as if he were waiting for a show. He probably was, I realised.

My eyes flicked to the door, which he had left open, but my brief hope was squashed into nothingness when Severus walked in and closed it, leaning against the solid wood with folded arms. I was cornered. The candlestick felt slippery in my sweaty palm.

"What have you done with Sirius?" I asked authoritatively.

"You have other things to worry about right now," Evan smirked.

I looked away from him, too scared to endure the glint in his eyes. My teeth chattered.

"Really, Niamh," Lucius chuckled. "Of all people, Sirius Black? How very vulgar of you."

Severus's eyes were filled with hatred as he stared at me. "That blood traitor," he hissed venomously.

I didn't reply, but clenched my fist more tightly around the candlestick. Evan was still eyeing me with a disturbing eagerness.

"Where is Sirius?" I asked again.

"For Salazar's sake…" I heard Severus mutter. He rolled his eyes.

"He's just in another room," Evan drawled. "Your traitorous lover won't be nearly as much fun as you."

"He's not my lover," I snarled. "He's my husband."

Clearly that was the wrong thing to say. Lucius let out a disbelieving gasp and Evan's eyes darkened in fury. "You disgusting bitch."

Something reckless clouded my mind. I let out a cold laugh. "You never suspected a thing, did you?" I taunted Evan. "I was with Sirius since you came back from Italy. I never felt a thing but contempt for you. I've used you from the start. Everything that you told me I passed on to Dumbledore. And when you brought me into Voldemort's ranks I didn't have to rely on you anymore. You had served your purpose. You should have seen how happy I was when you dumped me."

"Keep your mouth shut!" Severus hissed. "You're not worthy to say the Dark Lord's name."

I scoffed. "And you," I sneered at my former classmate. "I can't imagine what it must feel like knowing that your blood-traitorous nemesis managed to snare a friend of yours. Does it sting, Severus?"

"Shut up, Niamh," Evan warned me.

I threw him a derisive look and turned to the blonde wizard. "Ah, Lucius is the odd one out here. I was sick of him even before Sirius and I were together. You have no idea how sorry I feel for Narcissa."

"That's enough, traitor," Evan barked.

"What were you going to do? Kill me?" I shrieked triumphantly. "Your master ordered you to keep me alive!"

"Oh, I intend to keep you alive," Evan retorted, "but nothing more than that."

I closed my mouth, sense crashing back into me. Evan chuckled when he saw comprehension dawn on my face. "Caught on, have you?" he said slowly.

"Stay the hell away from me," I growled, raising the candlestick.

He burst out laughing. "And what were you planning on doing with that against a wand, my dear?"

I bared my teeth in response.

With a sigh as if he were dealing with an obstinate child he pointed his wand at me. "Expelliarmus!"

The candlestick was ripped from my hand and clattered against the wall. My hands clenched and unclenched themselves helplessly.

Evan sauntered closer, twirling his wand in his hand. In a desperate attempt I squeezed my eyes shot and concentrated myself with all my might. A surprised growl made me open them again. Evan staggered backwards, panting slightly. The Crushing Curse I had focussed on had caused nothing more than a shove.

He chuckled malevolently. "It's times like these that make you regret that wandless magic is nothing more than an unfocussed remnant of Old Magic, don't they?"

"Piss off," I hissed. My own ragged breathing resonated in my ears. I was defenceless. I fixed my gaze on the door trying to see Sirius through it, but Severus had planted himself squarely in front of it.

Thinking of Sirius made my throat clench together. I blinked frantically, holding back a sob. I needed him so much. I needed him to protect me, but his warning after I had told him Evan pursued me once more turned out to be prophetic. I can't protect you from him and I hate that. It echoed in my brain. I can't protect you from him, I can't protect you from him…

Evan stood in front of me. I hated that I had to look up to him. I jerked away from him when he placed his hands around my face. Forcefully he made me look at him again. "Niamh, Niamh, Niamh," he said softly. "You know I don't take well to being refused."

"Go to hell!" I spat.

Suddenly he bent down and pressed his lips against me. I cried out in rage and dug my nails into his hands, trying to escape his mouth at the same time. My cry turned into a yelp when he brutally bit down on my lip, his teeth breaking through the skin.

He lifted his head, panting and his eyes gleaming.

"You sick bastard," I choked when he licked my blood off his lips with dark satisfaction.

He grinned and attacked my mouth again. I gasped in pain as he tore the cut further. Blows from my fists rained down on his shoulders and chest, but he still held my face in an iron grip. In a surge of panic and anger I stomped on his foot and kicked him in the shin. Swearing he moved his groin out of my knee's way. In a reflex I lashed out at him to rake my nails over his face, drawing blood.

Evan's arm swung back. Before I could react he had backhanded me. My head snapped backwards from the force. I blinked away some tears, my ears still ringing.

"For Salazar's sake," Lucius sighed. "You have a wand, Evan. Use it."

"And deny myself half the pleasure?" Evan retorted. "I think not." Again he slapped me viciously hard. I stumbled backwards. "I have her right where I've wanted her for months. At my mercy," he hissed at me. "And I think you know, my dearest Niamh, that I'm not a merciful man."

"You're not a man. You're a filthy pig!" I wheezed. It cost me another blow to the head. This time his fist connected with my cheekbone.

Feeling dizzy I stood up straight and met Evan's gaze. "All this because I refused to be your mistress?" I asked. I had hoped it would sound scornful, but I winced when I heard my barely contained terror.

"Yes," he snapped. "And you've just added a few more reasons yourself. You're going to pay for it."

I knew very well what he was planning on doing to me, but I pushed it firmly to the back of my mind. If I thought about it, I feared I would break down.

"You see," Evan purred. "I've known you for two and a half years now. I've learned quite a bit about your character." He stepped closer to me again. I refused to back away. "For example, I know how much you want to be in control. You hate not being able to make your own choices and decisions. You hate having to surrender to someone else."

I let out a shocked gasp. He'd been studying me.

"Oh, yes," Evan grinned in response. "You have a need for pulling the strings – in particular your own strings. You can't bear the thought of someone else having power over you."

Again he moved closer. I stood trembling with rage and fear, but still did not cower from him. Evan brought his lips near my ear. "And that is how I will break you, my dear," he whispered. "I will take every bit of control from you and force you to bend to my will. And it will provide me with some entertainment in the process." His tongue darted out and licked my earlobe.

Shuddering I closed my eyes, shying away from him. He knew my exact weakness. I was distrustful by nature and preferred to keep to myself. Sirius was the only person I had completely opened up to, the only person I had allowed to take control, the only person I had allowed myself to surrender to.

I could not bear the thought of Evan in that position. "Rot in hell, bastard!" I screamed.

Evan laughed victoriously. "See, my friends? A few words and I'm already getting to her. I don't need a wand."

A hissing sound like a cat escaped me and I lunged at him with clawed hands, determined to hurt him wherever I could. It was hopeless. My attack was so fierce I was able to hold him off for several minutes, but he gained the upper hand eventually. Though not as much as Sirius, he was still tall and strong enough to overpower me.

I screamed at the top of my lungs when he twisted my arm behind my back, out of desperation even more so than out of pain. Evan shoved me into the wall face-first. I groaned.

Heavily panting he pressed himself against me. "Got ya now."

I began to struggle again. "You haven't got me!" I cried out. Evan fisted his hand in my hair and slammed my forehead into the wall. Stars exploded in front of my eyes and my knees buckled. Something warm trickled down my face.

He dragged me to the middle of the room and tossed me to the floor in front of Lucius's feet. Humiliated I pushed myself off the ground, but a boot was placed between my shoulder blades and forced me down again. My cheeks burned with shame.

"Lucius, care to join me?" Evan asked courteously.

"Why, thank you. How very generous of you."

"Severus?"

"No, thank you. Like she has said herself, I can find something less filthy to stick it in."

"Suit yourself," Evan shrugged. "Hold her down, Lucius."

Two pairs of hands turned me on my back.

"NO!" I screamed and kicked out with all my might. They each grabbed a leg and held it down. Evan quickly straddled my hips, breathing heavily in excitement. I gagged at the sight.

Before I could strike with my arms Lucius had grasped them and hurled them over my head. I moaned in pain when he placed a boot over each of them. I tried to wriggle them out from under him, but he leaned on them with his full weight. Waves of nauseating pain crashed over me when I heard a crack in my left wrist.

I must have blacked out from the pain for a moment, because when I came to Evan had shoved his hands under my robes.

Hoarse cries I faintly recognized as my own reached my ears as I felt his hands on my body. "Please don't! Help me! SIRIUS!"

Sobbing and screaming I cowered from Evan's touch. I tried to hide behind my Occlumency, but the distress prevented me from focussing. I was trapped inside myself. And so I lived through it all. Lucius's cruel laughter, the pain of tissue tearing inside, the humiliation, the powerlessness.

It was not long before my senses were numbed. I made a weak attempt to escape when Evan and Lucius traded places, but they merely had to grab my wrist to have my eyes rolling back in their sockets. I relented and let them finish, so it would just be over.

With a satisfied groan Lucius got to his feet. "You have to appreciate the irony," he commented while straightening his robes. "I was your first and your last."

Silently I pushed my robes over my legs again, cradling my left wrist against me. I could not look at them.

"Well, that is, unless Severus wants to have a go after all," Evan corrected him. "I assure you she's quite broken in now, my friend."

I glanced up at Severus, who had not moved from his spot against the door. His black eyes bore into my own for a moment, before he lifted them and said, "Thanks for the offer, but no."

However much it made me feel ashamed, I still felt a rush of gratitude towards him. It sickened me.

I made no effort to get up. I simply sat there, breathing as shallow as I could so I would not have to inhale their smell on me. I closed my eyes, feeling them burn behind the lids when I thought of Sirius. So empty, so violated, so filthy. I wanted to cry, but I couldn't.

Sirius. He was just a few feet away from me, but there was so much more distance. I wanted him with me and I wanted to be alone. I wanted him to kill Evan and Lucius and I wanted him to never know about this. I wanted to kill Evan and Lucius myself; I wanted to run away from them; I wanted to scream; I wanted to sit in a corner and rock myself to and fro; I wanted to scrub myself clean; I wanted it to end.

My breath hitched. Soon enough it would be over. Soon enough Voldemort would return and I would be executed for my treason.


I had crawled against the wall, bringing up my knees to my chest and hugging them tightly. My body hurt all over. I couldn't move my left hand at all, and the wound on my forehead had caused a splitting headache. I thought perhaps my cheekbone was broken from the force of Evan's fist. I refused to think about the soreness of my thighs and belly – it was unbearable.

I'd been here for hours. I held my head bent so I did not have to look at the men in the room with me. They had come and gone, checking on Sirius I supposed. Apart from the occasional sneer or rude remark they left me to myself. I found I could still think quite rationally. It surprised me.

Evan had what he'd wanted from me. As for the others, I didn't think they really cared. I would be getting what I deserved in a little while. Lucius, never a man to turn down a lucrative offer, had simply taken what had been offered and Severus – well, I couldn't quite fathom his motives. I'd considered him a – a what exactly? Whatever bond there had been between us was based on lies. My lies. The amount of trust or reliability we had shared was false. It had been false ever since I fell in love with Sirius and followed him down his path.

Then why does it feel like he betrayed me when he left me at their mercy?

I sighed and wriggled a bit on the cold, stone floor, flinching when my muscles protested. I couldn't be bothered thinking too long about it. The agonizing swirl of emotions that had assaulted me right after – after it, had vanished. I just felt deadened, numb.

My head was throbbing maddeningly. I gingerly touched my forehead with my fingers. There was a bump the size of a pigeon's egg. I winced as my fingers slid over the chafed and cut skin, feeling the dried blood there. I examined myself further. My cheekbone was too painful to touch. I held in a hiss, not wanting to attract attention to myself. I ran my tongue over my bottom lip. The bite Evan had left was quite deep. Blood still seeped from it.

I felt like I should be doing something. I was about to die and here I was, fretting over mere injuries. What? You want to run about, swooning and sighing about an inevitable tragedy? You want to write goodbye letters? What would you say? Sorry mates, I got myself in a sticky position because I was too stupid and stubborn to pay attention to warnings, so now I'm about to kick the bucket. Yeah, that really would work well.

Begging your pardon, James, but your best friend is here too – you're going to need to pick some new godparents in a few hours. Hope it doesn't cause you too much trouble.

Be a little more careful, Lana, when you don't have me around to keep you in check. Think about it, do you really need to familiarise yourself with the entire male half of the wizarding community?

Pete – well, I don't suppose I should worry about you. You'll miss Sirius, but you've still got James. Don't go playing the hero – it'll only land you where I am right now.

Lily, I admire you for being brilliant and a good friend, but most of all I admire you for being able to accept me after seven years of horrible remarks and condescension. I'm sorry for being another one of your friends you'll lose.

Remus, feel free to use the house – we won't be needing it anymore. I suggest a few good bites would improve that toad Umbridge's law-making. Loosen up a little, though I must say the gentleman act is quite refreshing compared to Sirius –

A sob suddenly escaped me. Oh Merlin, Remus. And Lily. James, Peter, Lana, Deirdre, Aoife, Quinn and Cecil. Little Harry.

I bit on my lip trying to choke back my tears even though it hurt. My pride was all I had left right now and I refused to let them see me cry. They had already taken everything else from me. I rested my good cheek on my knees and squeezed my eyes shut, trying to prevent the tears from falling. Sarcasm proved to be too difficult to maintain.

I sniffed, rubbing my hand under my nose. I had to try to stay calm; it wouldn't do me any good if I went hysterical. I frowned. What for? Is there any hope of escaping?

No. They guarded me too well. The windows and the door were locked, I had no wand. My only chance was a secret doorway, but I already knew that two walls had none. I was never left alone, not even for a minute, so I couldn't search the remaining wall.

Besides, if I did find something, could I leave Sirius? I couldn't.

Merlin, I couldn't think of him without breaking down into tears again. I cried as quietly as I could. Was it only this morning that I was in his bed, snuggled up to him while he whined dramatically that he really had to get up, but couldn't? That he was being his usual arrogant self, telling me that he knew I loved him?

My shoulders shook silently with sobs as I hid my face from the man in the room.

"Will you shut up?" Severus snapped.

I didn't reply, embarrassed that he had noticed the state I was in.

Severus got to his feet and paced the room. "It's a little late for regrets, don't you think? You've brought this on yourself," he said aggravated.

I looked up for a moment. I wasn't able to discern the expression on his face. He turned away from me and leaned his hands on the window sill. "You betrayed us all."

"I did what was right." My voice was hoarse. I could feel the cut on my lip burst open again. I sucked in the drops of blood.

Incredulously Severus turned around again. "What was right?"

I leaned my head against the wall. "This is all – all of this is delusional. We're not better because we're products of inbreeding and ancient traditions that should have been chucked out of the door centuries ago. How many Muggleborns are more powerful than pure-bloods? Do you remember Mary Peterson? She was in our year. Never seen anyone perform more powerful charms. And Zarah Williams? She could grow magical plants with her eyes closed and her hands on her back. Killed, a few weeks out of Hogwarts, just like Mary. No? No recollection of them at all? I'm not surprised. But I bet you remember Lily Evans. She bested you at Potions."

Severus's face had tautened. "I suppose you know all about her too, being so close to Potter and Black."

"I do. Great woman, powerful witch."

"She'll get what she deserves – just like all the other Mudbloods." Severus turned his back on me again.

I scoffed. "All of you, too stupid to see what's right in front of you. A group of mentally unstable, power-hungry cowards."

"And you're so much better than us," Severus sneered, looking over his shoulder. "Helping the poor Muggles and Mudbloods out there. You've sold your soul when you killed, Niamh. Just like the rest of us. That Mark you received in return, it'll never come off. So don't bother being so high and mighty – you're exactly the same as me."

"Maybe," I said softly. "But at least some good has come from it."

"Yes, look at you now," he scorned. "You're doing great. Beaten, raped, and waiting for your execution. Well done, Niamh, well done."

"Shut up!" I hissed. "Some things are more important than myself. But I reckon you don't understand that."

"That must be Dumbledore's influence speaking," he retorted. "Stopped thinking for yourself then? Or have you turned into a Gryffindor and stopped thinking at all?" He snorted. "That must be the case if you've been that long around Black."

"You're not half the man Sirius is," I drawled provocatively. "You'll never be."

Severus showed no reaction to my insult, but leaned against the window sill and folded his arms. "I'm curious, how did he get you to give up your heritage? I'd never have thought anyone but him would be that dimwitted. But apparently I've been wrong."

"Sirius didn't have to do anything. He only noticed that I had opened my eyes."

"And no one around you knew?"

"No, you're all too blind to see the truth."

"The truth, Niamh, is that you're going to die for beliefs that are not your own."

"That's where you're wrong, Severus. I do believe that what I've done is right – you're the one who has trouble believing it."

"You've made a travesty of seven years Slytherin and of more than two years being a Death Eater. You've made a fool of everyone around you, of everyone who trusted you."

"If you want me to ask you forgiveness for deceiving you, you can wait until you begin to grow roots," I growled.

Severus looked haughtily down his nose at me. I stared back, waiting for him to say something. Suddenly his black eyes hardened and his upper lip curled up when he said, "You'll suffer the consequences of your actions soon. I hope your time with Black was worth it."

He walked straight out of the room, slamming the door shut.