A/N: Another chapter with a warning attached to it: the same as for the last chapter!
So, many thanks to all the reviewers: Domlando Blonaghan ( thanks very much, actually! Your review was such a reassurance to me, because I wasn't at all sure about this chapter :) As usual, you managed to make my day.), werforpsu, SexeiAlexeiGurl ( that's the question, isn't it? What does Snape think? Does anyone know, really?), Kendra-the hyper one, Messr-Paddifoots-love, and Sirael!
I needed to take a break from studying - second exam went great, yay! - and since this chapter had been stewing on my computer for ages, I decided to finish it. Please review and tell me what you think!
p.s. Good luck to anybody else with exams!
Shattered
The emptiness of my prison after Severus left prompted me to stand and examine the parts of the wall I hadn't had time for before. With one hand I skimmed over the stones behind the tapestries, feeling my hope fade away with every inch of solid stone. Defeated I slid down the wall again, tucking my knees under my chin. "Doesn't matter," I whispered to myself. "You wouldn't have left anyway." But now it was final.
I just wished I could see Sirius for a moment. To say goodbye and tell him I loved him; to tell him I was sorry for not heeding his warning not to risk anything. I tried to picture his face in front of me, but it only made me cry again.
The door swung open once more. I pressed myself further against the wall when hard, hazel eyes fixed themselves on me. Finally the charming mask had fallen away and Evan had revealed what he really was. And I, who had tried to delude myself into thinking I didn't have to be afraid anymore now he had taken what he wanted, found myself panting in fear and cowering when he stalked closer.
"Get up," Evan demanded. He grabbed the front of my robes when I scooted away from him and tugged me to my feet.
I averted my face, repulsed by his nearness. "Let me go."
"Severus tells me you're brainwashed," he said, ignoring my words.
"I don't care what he says," I replied. "Nor you."
"Don't taunt me, witch," he threatened. "He says that traitor Black has poisoned you with his beliefs."
My head shot back to him. "They are my beliefs. I can think for myself."
"You would never have done all this if it wasn't for him," Evan spat.
I bit on my tongue to prevent myself from talking. I wasn't sure how much they knew. All they knew for sure was that I had been passing information onto Sirius, my husband. I had no doubt they would deduct the rest themselves, but I definitely would not hand them anything.
"Believe what you want, Evan," I snarled. "I figured out for myself that I didn't want to be part of this abomination and Sirius recognized that in me."
"Sirius this, Sirius that," he mocked me. "How do you feel about him now that he has led you to your downfall?"
I knew I was playing dangerously here, but I couldn't stop myself. I goaded him deliberately with a defiant stare and smirked. "I love him."
Filled with disgust Evan threw me away from him. I hit the wall rather hard, but bit back a whimper, keeping that same expression on my face. "I love him," I repeated.
For the second time that night I plummeted straight back into my right mind when Evan bolted forward and closed his hands around my throat. "You love him, you say?"
I bared my teeth. "Yes."
Evan's eyes glided over my face and stopped at my mouth. "That's a nice bite you have there," he purred. "Doesn't seem to have put some humility in you though." His thumbs stroked my jaw. He clucked his tongue. "I honestly believe I can't bring you before the Dark Lord in this state. I think I shall have to familiarise you with the concept of meekness."
"I'll rip your throat out if you touch me again!" I snarled.
"This is exactly what I'm talking about," Evan continued. "I promised you I would break you, but I believe I haven't kept my word. And we can't have that, now can we?"
For one moment I looked at him. It was all I needed to name the gleam in his eyes. I dropped myself unexpectedly to my knees, escaping his grasp and crawled away from him. I scrambled to my feet and ran for it, but Evan caught my robes in a hand and jerked me back. I screamed in pain when I stumbled and landed on my broken wrist.
Evan stood over me, waiting until I had stopped wheezing. He crouched down to eye-level with me and sighed, reaching out with one hand and touching my face. I pulled away from him. He slid his hand in my hair, twisting it around his fingers, and stood, dragging me up with him.
He forced me to walk to the table and planted me in front of it. "Ow, no, Evan, ow," I gasped. "Please don't." My hipbones were pressed painfully into the solid wood as he grinded himself against me. "Don't do this," I pleaded. A violent tug on my hair made my breath catch in my throat. My robes were hoisted to my hips. "Merlin, Evan, no," I moaned. "No more. Not again. Think about Sophie – your baby. She wouldn't want you – "
"If you think that is going to stop me," Evan panted in my ear, "you couldn't be more wrong." He gave me a shove in the back and made me bend over.
Suddenly there were footsteps outside. I lifted my head and bawled, "Help me! Somebody help me!" Renewing my struggle I thrashed about, trying to get Evan off me.
"You can scream all you want. Nobody here will help you."
The door swung open. I looked up with hope, but it was immediately replaced with despair when it revealed Avery. He raised an eyebrow. "The Dark Lord wants his prisoners downstairs." Smirking, he added, "Now, Evan."
I sank to the floor when Evan stepped away from me, weeping quietly in relief. He straightened his robes again and stretched his arm out to me. I ducked away from him, but he took hold of my upper arm. "Up," he commanded and pushed me out of the door onto the landing.
Two doors further Sirius was shoved out of his room as well. He didn't look too good. There were bruises on his face and he sported signs of a broken nose, as well as broken ribs. He was breathing shallowly and I noticed his hands were twitching uncontrollably. The Cruciatus Curse.
His eyes widened in shock when he saw me. "Jesus, Niamh," he breathed. "What have they done to you?"
I couldn't take it. My lip trembled and my nose began to run. I looked away from him in shame. Evan chuckled malignantly and stroked my hair and breast. I shuddered with disgust. I jumped in shock when Sirius's anguished howl tore through the manor. "I'LL KILL YOU! YOU DAMNED SON OF A BITCH!"
He jumped at Evan, his face taut with rage. Severus couldn't hold him back and Sirius flew at Evan's throat. When his body collided with Evan's I was knocked off my feet.
"STUPEFY!" Avery roared. With a loud thud Sirius fell to the ground, unconscious.
"Mobilicorpus," Severus sighed and walked off with Sirius hovering in front of him.
Evan pulled me to my feet and ushered me downstairs and into a large room. My breath hitched. It was completely crowded. I didn't pay attention to the cruel laughter as we passed the numerous black figures by. It had hit me with full force. I was going to die. Right now. My footsteps faltered. I simply did not have the courage to keep on walking towards my own doom.
Evan shoved me, making me stumble forward. Slowly I straightened myself and kept my eyes on Sirius's awkwardly floating figure in front of me. I took one step, and another. I made it to the middle of the room without disgracing myself, even though the bile had risen to the back of my tongue. Cold sweat trickled down my spine.
Next to me Sirius was dropped unceremoniously to the floor. "Enervate!" Severus snapped. He didn't bother to check if his spell was successful and strode to a group of black-clad figures. Sirius's eyelids fluttered and he groaned. I sat down next to him and brushed his hair from his face. He looked at me, his eyes slowly focussing. "Niamh," he whispered. "I'm sorry."
I shook my head. "Not your fault," I choked.
Sirius sat up straight. "It is. I was alone when they captured me. I knew there were too many, but I didn't think and tried to fight them, instead of trying to escape. I put you in this situation." He hung his head low.
I blinked, too tired to be upset or angry. "Doesn't matter anymore," I said softly, reaching out to touch his face. "It'll be over soon."
His head jolted back up at the sound of my defeated voice. "Don't say that!"
"Why? It's true, isn't it?"
"Someone can – James will suspect something. He'll –"
"Even if he does suspect something, how will he ever find us? There are so many Death Eater hideouts – he'll never be able to search them all."
"He could find the right one," Sirius persisted stubbornly.
I couldn't fight the smile his optimism and perseverance caused. "Maybe," I gave in.
His face showed he knew I didn't believe him. "Niamh, don't give up. Whatever happened – happens… We can get through it. I know we can."
"I love you."
"Stop it, Niamh," he hissed anxiously. "You're not giv –"
He was cut off when Voldemort appeared in front of us. He stared down at us. Sirius stared back boldly, but I averted my face. It was me he spoke to, however. "There is someone here to see you."
That made my eyes snap upwards and I watched him gesture at a minion, who opened the door. A tall, broad-shouldered man marched in, his copper-coloured hair pulled back in a tail. "Father," I moaned.
"Niamh!" he said startled when he saw me. He looked at Voldemort. "What is the meaning of this?" he seethed, his anger almost sparking off him.
"Your daughter has been keeping things from you, Bran," Voldemort answered. "From all of us."
My father whipped towards me. "What? What do you mean? Niamh?"
I bowed my head. My father walked over to me and sat on one knee, raising my head with a finger under my chin. "My daughter, what is going on here? What have they done to you?"
He glanced at Sirius for a moment and an expression of contempt became visible on his face.
"I don't believe you've met your son-in-law, have you now, my friend?" Voldemort commented.
"My son-in-law?" my father repeated. His eyes flicked from me to Sirius and to Voldemort, looking confused. "Sirius Black? My son-in-law? What? Merlin, don't tell me this is true, Niamh."
"Yes, father, it is," I answered softly. I reached under my robes and pulled out the chain. The rings tinkled softly. "I love him. He's my husband."
As if bitten by a pixie, my father stood, his nostrils flaring as he gazed at Sirius, who met him head on, but for once didn't say anything. Slowly he turned his head to me again. I cringed at the loathing I saw appearing in his face. "You married him?"
"Father, please," I whispered. "Help me."
"Your daughter," Voldemort said loudly, "has been passing information to the Ministry and Dumbledore – our enemies. She has been doing so from the moment she entered my trust, betraying not only me and my trustworthy Death Eaters, but also her heritage and her family. Her brother. You."
"Rowan." My father took a step away from me, his mouth grim with disgust.
"Please don't leave me," I pleaded.
After a long, unyielding look he turned his back on me.
"Father, please!" I cried out.
He stiffened and looked over his shoulder. "Do not call me that. You are no daughter of mine. I only have one child left."
I whimpered and clasped my hand in front of my mouth. I heard Sirius foully cursing my father under his breath.
He walked away, saying to Voldemort, "Do as you like. She is nothing to me." And then he was gone.
Sirius still made an effort to damn my father to the depths of hell. I merely stared at the door, which had closed behind my father with a bang full of finality. I had been left at Voldemort's mercy by my own father. He had not even spared me a second glance. It crossed my mind that my actions of the past years were confirmed right. My giving up Sirius to protect him and myself, I had been right all along. For a fleeting moment I felt satisfaction at that justification, before it turned into bitter resentment. So much for family.
"Well, we're on our own now," I said to Sirius.
"No, we're not," he answered simply. "He's not your family. I am. Lily and James are, and Harry. Pete and Remus. They're all the family you need."
I laughed nervously. "It's good to know at least someone will cry at my funeral." I grimaced. "If they ever find us, that is."
The whispers and murmurs died down with a wave of Voldemort's hand. This was it, then. I took a shaky breath. I had taken the place of so many wizards and witches before me, some of which I had brought here. I supposed there was some justice in that. I grabbed Sirius's hand. He gave me an encouraging squeeze and interlaced his fingers with mine. When I glanced at him I saw he held his head arrogantly high and had twisted his mouth into a derisive sneer. I drew strength from his defiance.
"Now," Voldemort began. "Which one of you is going to tell me what I want to know?"
Neither of us answered.
"Surely you don't me to repeat myself," he hissed. "You'll find that I won't be as courteous as I am now."
Suddenly Sirius got to his feet, pulling me up with him. His grip on my hand tightened. "We'll never say anything," he answered calmly.
Voldemort scoffed. "Your dear, beloved wife will tell you I can make anyone talk."
"Not us," I said.
When he fixed his eyes on me, I began trembling again. "I can smell your fear, Niamh. You don't want to go through this. You know what it means, suffering my displeasure."
"We'd rather die than tell you anything!" Sirius spat.
"Ah, Black. But you will die, you needn't doubt that. So naïve."
Sirius laughed bitterly. "I'm a Black. I've not been naïve since the day I was born."
A Death Eater bolted forward. "You are no Black!" she screeched. "You never were one!"
Bellatrix was restrained by my cousin, her husband. "Calm yourself," Rodolphus snapped.
"Let me, master," Bellatrix begged, leaning forward in her husband's arms. "Please, let me."
"Enough!" Voldemort ordered. "Control yourself."
"My darling cousin," Sirius drawled. "At the beck and call of a lunatic. Who's the naïve one here?"
"Crucio!"
Sirius's hand was ripped from my grasp as he fell to the ground, twisting and groaning, his eyes clamped shut and his teeth bared. How much he had endured this curse already, I didn't know, but the effects of being placed under it for a long time were horrible.
"STOP IT!" I screamed. "STOP IT!"
Voldemort lifted the curse. "I knew you would come to your senses. Where is the Order's Headquarters located and who are its members? Who is Dumbledore protecting?"
"She won't tell you a thing!" Sirius avowed through clenched jaws. "Do you hear me, Niamh? You won't tell them a thing!" The look he gave me was so fierce I pressed my lips tightly together.
I shook with rage and ache when Sirius suffered the Curse again, and again, still refusing to utter a meaningful word. The only words he squeezed through his clenched jaws were insults and taunts. Incredulously I stared at him, realising he was putting up with the Dark Lord's growing anger to keep his attention diverted. Away from me.
Voldemort was no fool, however. He jerked his wand upwards, breaking the spell. There was uneasiness throughout the ranks. The unpredictability of the Dark Lord's moods was well-known. Sirius's insolence endangered not only himself, but the Death Eaters around him as well.
Sirius heaved himself to his knees and stood tall, despite the fact his knees were almost buckling. He breathed with difficulty, wheezing, and held a hand pressed against his ribs. He wrapped his arm around me when I hurried over to him and quickly kissed my temple, murmuring something comforting.
Voldemort suddenly stopped pacing and cackled. "I'm going about this the wrong way! How very naïve of me, but I'm sure you'll excuse me for having difficulty understanding your Gryffindor nature. The one Dumbledore admires so much," he sneered.
He whirled around to his followers. "You see, my friends, I could torture him for hours and he wouldn't tell me a single thing. However, there is a weak spot in his defence."
My head snapped backwards with the force of Voldemort's hatred and anger when his Cruciatus Curse hit me. I hit the floor with a thump, crying out in pain when scorching needles poked my bones and my muscles were torn to shreds. My skin was set on fire and my fingers twisted into unnatural curves. It went on for an eternity. I thought I was going insane.
My own screams mixed with Sirius's horrified ones. Through a thick mist of pain I heard Sirius calling out to me, shouting my name. Then suddenly the agony stopped. Numbed and mystified I lay still, blinking at the ceiling.
"What did you say?" a cold, high voice asked with glee.
I propped myself on one elbow and looked around to see what was going on. Voldemort stared triumphantly at Sirius, whose shoulders hung in defeat.
"I said I'll tell you what you want to know," he repeated hoarsely. "Just leave her alone."
"What? No," I croaked, sitting up straight. "Sirius, no!"
He didn't look at me. "Sirius!" I shouted. "I said no! I don't care! Don't tell him! It doesn't matter. LOOK AT ME!"
Grudgingly, he met my eyes.
"Don't you dare tell him anything!" I screamed. "I forbid you! I don't want you doing this for me! This is my choice to make, not yours!"
I knew I was being hysterical, but I couldn't care less. I was beyond worrying about the consequences. The sight of Sirius's courage and staunch loyalty to Dumbledore conquered because of me was more than I could bear. I scrambled to my feet, swaying slightly.
"This is more important than me!" I continued heatedly. "Than us! You will NOT sacrifice others for me!"
Voldemort hissed at me and clenched his fingers around Sirius's chin, staring into his eyes. I felt a pang of panic. He was going to use Legilimency on Sirius.
"No!" I screamed.
I hadn't been able to teach Sirius more than a basic barrier against intrusion of the mind. He simply wasn't capable of shutting down his feelings and keeping them under control. Against Voldemort, he didn't stand a chance.
"Don't look him in the eye!" I yelled at him. "Sirius, I am begging you!"
A heavy tremor ran through the man I loved. Then he yanked his head free and staggered backwards. I had a moment to look at him and mouth 'thank you'. Sirius stared back, overcome with regret, hurt, and rage that I had made him do that.
Voldemort shot towards me, his patience run out. I backed away with wide eyes when he pointed his wand at me. Something blacker than the night's sky came out of the tip and swirled towards me. I let out a strangled cry of fear when it wrapped itself around my neck. Voldemort hissed something and the black smoke constricted my throat. I gasped in panic and clawed at the substance, but there was nothing I could get a hold on.
"Niamh!" Sirius roared and leaped towards me, but two Death Eaters intervened and held him back with a spell.
The smoke tightened further, making me choke. My blood pounded in my ears and I rapidly became dizzy. Voldemort chuckled while he sauntered closer. He raised his wand a little, lifting me off the floor.
Black spots danced in my vision, but Voldemort prevented the curse from letting me lose consciousness. His face was right in front of me, his eyes boring into my own. Gagging and sputtering I tried to defend myself from his probing, but I couldn't concentrate. I attempted to fend him off when he pushed into my mind. It only made him more forceful.
I groaned when the sides of my head felt as if they were pressed together. Without consideration for my mind he began to drag forth images and information. The pain he caused me worried me. I had no idea what damage he was inflicting. My eyes rolled back in my sockets when he delved further, in search of more hidden information. The rope of black smoke around my throat cut off my circulation. I felt it break through my skin. Though I could still feel nothing with my fingers, rivulets of blood now ran down my neck and collarbones.
I was aware of what Voldemort was extracting from my mind. Faces of Order members, of friends, of people I had saved. Names and locations. My alias Nicole Carmichael. And then… I fought him, I tried to prevent him, but he pushed me aside as if I were nothing. The location of our Headquarters.
Voldemort laughed triumphantly and flicked his wand, tossing me to the floor, but the smoke didn't disappear. He hissed something again and the strangling smoke wormed its way further into my flesh. I choked and gasped for breath, feeling so faint I had to lie down on my back as I scratched at my neck. I was rapidly losing consciousness now, but I could still hear Sirius's howls as well as Voldemort's cackling laughter.
I sank into darkness; my hands stilled, too heavy to continue their frantic movements…
When I heard the explosion I thought I was hallucinating. When I felt the curse lift I thought I my death was certain. When I heard shouts and harsh orders, I frowned. Tiny puffs of air passed my maimed throat and entered my lungs, just enough to keep me floating somewhere between awareness and nothingness. A face hovered over me, with familiar features. My lips moved.
"Shh," the face said, strangely echoing in my head. I grimaced at the sensation. I knew this face. Suddenly it was jerked away from me and I heard the struggling of a fight nearby.
There was nothing for a while. I felt myself slide deeper into the swamp of oblivion. Every time I blinked my eyes stayed longer shut. When I opened them again, red eyes stared at me from above. Adrenaline shot through my veins.
No, no, no…
A long, thin piece of pale wood was pointed at me. A small, reddish drop emerged from the tip and fell down, right on my lips. It slid down into my mouth and throat. Suddenly the red eyes were gone.
I coughed and sniffed. Something warm bubbled in my throat. It tasted strange. I tried to clear my throat, even though it was agonizingly painful. More of the liquid blocked my throat. I panicked when it hit me what I attempted to swallow, but couldn't. I coughed violently now, struggling to turn myself on my side. Some of the warm liquid dribbled from the corner of my mouth, but most of it was still at the back of my throat. I retched when suddenly a whole flood forced itself up. My hands were covered in the red, sticky stuff. Aghast I stared at my own blood. What the hell was going on?
"NIAMH!" someone cried out. That was my name, wasn't it?
A pair of hands turned me on my back. There was that face again, the one I knew. Brown eyes looked anxiously at me from behind round glasses. He really should comb his hair, I thought. I coughed again. The sickly, metallic taste and smell of my blood filled my mouth and nose, spilling down my chin and soaking my robes.
Suddenly there was another face. And then two more. I scowled when loud voices began shouting.
"What is happening?"
"What spell did that?"
"I don't know! I don't know!"
"Where is Dumbledore?"
"Get him now!"
I smiled when the most familiar face of all appeared. Long, black hair almost tickled my face because he was so close. His trembling hand wiped some blood from my face. He looked at it with horror-struck grey eyes.
I groaned when my stomach unexpectedly clenched together. Another flow of blood gushed from my mouth. My insides felt like they were being torn apart. More blood forced its way up in consistent waves, choking me. My arms flailed in panic when I couldn't breathe at all anymore. My body convulsed as my mouth and nose were filled, my blood running down my face.
"It's killing her!"
"Oh God! She's drowning in her own blood!"
"Help her! For Merlin's sake, help her!" Sirius's nose almost touched mine. "Don't leave me, Niamh. Fight it. Come on, stay with me!" he whispered urgently. "Don't leave me. Please don't leave me."
I couldn't breathe. Darkness enveloped me as a thick, impenetrable blanket. I saw Sirius's distraught face. I smelled my own death in the scent of my blood. I heard the frantic shouts of the people around me. I felt hands gripping me, shaking me.
Then, nothing.
