Everything was quiet, but the blood pounding in my ears was deafening. He placed his hands on either side of my face and brought me into another deep kiss. This time I returned the kiss with equal passion. His left hand made its way to the back of my neck and his right hand fell slowly down my neck, tracing gentle patterns over my skin. The feeling was nothing short of electrifying. He gently pushed me back until I felt the rough bark of the tree behind me. The kiss deepened and I wrapped my arms around his neck. His hands snuck under the collar of my jacket and onto my shoulders, slowly pushing my jacket half way down my back and arms, exposing the soft flesh of my neck even more.
Gradually, he pulled away from my lips and began kissing along my jawline towards my ear. He paused to nip at my earlobe and then proceeded to leave gentle kisses along the side of my neck. My body melted under his touch and I found that my mouth had parted slightly and my breathing was a bit heavier than before. His mouth open slightly and let out a soft breath when his teeth bit into the sensitive skin of my neck softly. Hearing my response, he bit down a little harder and this time a low moan escaped my lips. I was embarrassed, but couldn't help it. He trailed the tip of his tongue up the side of my neck and then I found his lips on mine once again. His tongue slid over them, begging for entrance, and I obliged without a second thought. Our mouths worked against one another seamlessly and his strong hands roamed freely up and down my waist. I pressed my body closer to his and could feel the growing bulge between his legs against my own. I blushed crimson at the sudden realization of where all this could go and panicked internally. Carefully, I placed both hands on the side of his face and eased it away from mine. He had gotten the hint and didn't resist. Instead, he stared at me with such a fire in his eyes, it made me blush even harder. But behind that fire I saw just as much fear as I had felt myself just then. So the captain does fear things, huh?
I held his gaze for a moment longer and then finally spoke. "Ahem... Um... Maybe we should continue training?" I suggested feebly. A smirk spread across his face, dispelling all of the emotions previously filling his grey eyes. "I suppose that is what we came out here for." He glanced at my lips and kissed them once more, ever so gently, before finally pulling away from my body. I wanted to protest, but I knew this wasn't the time, nor the place. Now that the spell had been broken, I straightened up my appearance and tried to be as professional as possible.
"So, what next?" I asked. Levis face was back to being impassive and cold. It amazed me how quickly he was able to make these raw emotions come and go. "Let's practice on a few more cut outs and then call it a night. We'll continue tomorrow." He didn't look at me as he spoke, but I nodded my head and prepared my gear to launch. "And would you be more cautious? I don't need you falling and severely injuring yourself. We're short soldiers enough as it is." He scolded. I closed my eyes and pursed my lips into a smirk. "Whatever you say, captain."
I awoke to the sun assaulting my eyes through the window. A low groan escaped from my mouth as I stretched myself awake. Was last night even real? I thought skeptically. Groggily, I managed to force myself out of bed and hopped into the shower.
"It's Europa." I called from the other side of Levi's door. He told me to come in and I began my usual cleaning. Everything was normal.
Oddly normal
Too normal.
I felt a slight awkward tension begin to fill the room as the morning progressed onward. Neither of us spoke, and I sure didn't plan on it. What would I even say? But I can't just act like it didn't happen. I could feel his eyes on me every now and then as I cleaned. Sometimes I'd look at him and his gaze would not falter, he just stared at me with a fierceness in his eyes. Each time it sent a shiver down my spine.
As I placed his tea on his desk, his hand quickly grabbed mine and gently guided me around the table and in front of him. I stood there, unsure of what he wanted me to do. I leaned against his desk and folded my arms across my chest. "Are we going to talk about yesterday?" I said bluntly. He shifted his eyes towards me as he drank his tea. "What about it?" He said causally setting down his cup. I narrowed my eyes at him. "You know exactly what, captain." This time his eyes narrowed at me, but a playful smirk crept onto his mouth. "I don't know what you're talking about, brat."
This playful side was something I hadn't seen from Levi in years. I decided to relish this moment and keep it going. Getting a sudden idea, I let my hair out of its usual bun and let it fall in lustful curls around my face and down my back. I hopped up onto his desk and crossed my legs and looked at him with as much innocence as I could manage. "Oh, really? Because I could have sworn you kissed me." I bit my bottom lip. He stood up and placed himself right in front of me. "You shouldn't tell lies. They get you in all sorts of trouble." He warned. It was my turn to smirk. I opened my legs and grabbed his lapels, bringing him face to face with me. My eyes were cast low, staring at his lips. An almost inaudible intake of breath could be heard coming from them and my smirk widened.
"Well, if I'm a liar then I guess I should be punished, huh?" I said in a low, husky voice. I let my lips ever so slightly brush against his. His hands found their way to the tops of my thighs and he squeezed lightly. I slid off the desk slowly, so that my body could rub against his, until my feet touched the ground. I had my hands resting on the top of the desk and I pressed my body against his. He opened his mouth to reply, but no words came out. I flicked my tongue across his lower lip, teasing him more.
"Too bad I'm not a liar." I said, pushing him away from me and making my way to the door. He looked at me with utter disbelief on his face. "Let me know when you want to be truthful and actually talk to me." I said, the tiniest bit of fire in my words. Before he could answer, I was out the door, a satisfied grin plastered across my face.
The day of the expedition was finally upon us and I was absolutely terrified. This would be my first time seeing an actual titan. My training with Levi had gone really well, minus a few things, and I felt more or less prepared, but something told me that nothing prepares you for something like this.
Levi had also gone back to being his typical emotionless self and acted completely oblivious to what happened between the two of us. Part of me was satisfied that he had managed to understand that I didn't want to participate in some stupid game of cat and mouse. I wanted his emotions and thoughts straight up, no bullshitting. But the other part of me was terribly angry that he did remain silent. To me, that meant that him kissing me really wasn't that big of a deal to him; like it was something he could just casually brush it off. I had continued to clean the office and mess hall, but hadn't spoke to him. Today was the first time since he had kissed me that I was going to be around him as a teammate and not some lowly trainee.
I pushed all those thoughts aside and focused on the task ahead. Not only was this my first time with real titans, it was my first time outside the wall. Anxiety and fear were bubbling within me as I walked toward the stables to meet the special operations squad and Hange. The morning air was crisp and there was a light dusting of dew covering the ground and roof tops. Nobody was at the stables when I arrived so I decided to saddle up my horse until then.
As fate would have it, Levi was the next to join me. He glanced at me, but said not a word and walked over to his own horse to prep it. The rest began to trickle in shortly after that.
"Gooooooooooooood morning everyone!" Hange greeted excitedly. Everyone groaned back a response and waited for her to give us the break down. "My main objective today is to capture two, 3-6 meter classes and set up a lab in an abandoned area outside of the wall. I plan on having these subjects for the better portion of two weeks. It should give Europa and I a decent amount of time to run our experiments. Any questions?" Everyone was silent. "Alright then, let's move out!" We mounted their horses and began heading out of the city to the wall.
"Are you okay, Europa?" Petra inquired as we rode. She looked at me with wide, concerned eyes. I nodded, a little too vigorously, and replied. "Yeah, I'm fine. It's just the first time I've been beyond the wall." I looked away from her, hoping Levi hadn't heard me. "Well don't worry. We're an excellent team. And as long as we have Captain Levi, we'll be fine. He's humanity's strongest soldier, after all!" She reassured, praising Levi a little more enthusiastically than I would have liked. Wait. Time out. Why am I even BOTHERING with being jealous?! I shook my head and focused on the ever approaching wall.
At long last I was face to face with the massive wall that had been all I'd known of the world for the better portion of my life. Freedom was just on the other side and I could feel my stomach tighten with fear and anticipation. The gates opened and my eyes were met by a sky as blue as a robin's egg and it seemed to stretch into infinity, tiny tufts of white fluffy clouds peppered across the vast open space. The horizon held the sky to the ground and I could see nothing but open fields of fresh, green grass and trees that stretched for miles and miles. It was truly remarkable and more than a little breathtaking. It's funny how removing the walls made the entire sky look completely different.
"Don't forget what lies out here, brat, this isn't as nice as it looks. Pay attention." Levi suddenly scolded me. You scowled at him for popping my bubble of wonder and said nothing.
"Everyone keep yourselves alert and on your guard. Let's make this quick." Levi grumbled as we all set off.
Petra and Olou bickered lightly as we searched for the right specimen. "Stop trying to be like the captain. He wouldn't say such things." Petra said under her breath, sounding annoyed. Olou replied sarcastically, which only made Petra more annoyed. I was about to tell them to shut up when all of a sudden Hange yelled. "Six meter, north east, engage target!" She ordered. I turned in that direction and I felt your stomach drop to my feet.
There it was, a real life titan, right in front of me. This one had orange hair and huge, bulbous, blue eyes that seemed to protrude out of their sockets. It had an ugly flat face and a jaw that seemed much too big for its head. It wandered aimlessly near the edge of the forest until it spotted us. Its demeanor completely changed and it took off running towards our group. Panic seized me and I froze on my horse, suddenly unsure of what to do. "Europa, come on! Get moving or you WILL die!" Eld yelled after me. It was like I had become paralyzed. Try as I might, I just couldn't move. Come on, come on, COME ON! DO SOMETHING, DAMN IT! I yelled to myself. "Move your fucking horse you idiot!" Levi's voice broke through fears strong embrace and I managed to kick my horse into a gallop, joining the rest of the squad. "Sorry, guys..." I apologized, muttering. "We get it. But it's really time to pay attention. It's now or never." Eld explained. I nodded my head and continued onwards with a renewed sense of duty. I was a member of the scouting legion, on Levi Ackerman's elite squad, no less, so it was time to start acting like it.
Eld was the first to launch in the air and he gracefully flew right past the titan onto a nearby tree branch. Petra and Oluo followed soon after on their horses in order to get a little closer to the titan while still maintaining speed. Levi and Hange stayed a good distance back but were close enough to jump right in, should the team need them. I decided to keep my distance as well so I could observe how the team worked as a unit so as to not get in their way.
Petra launched her gear into the titan's lower back and swung between its legs, blades out, and cut both tendons in the back of its knees. The titan stumbled but remained upright, trying to snatch Petra from her horse. Eld swung in and sliced all the tendons in the titans wrists and it's hands went limp. Gunter and Oluo came riding up behind the titan, each slicing open the achilles heel. Only then did the titan collapse on the ground, unable to move. It's huge, vacant eyes looked around at all of us and its mouth gaped open, snapping at the team. Hange, Levi and I approached the titan and began the rest of the immobilization process. I hesitated greatly, afraid it may heal quicker than anticipated and lash out, but I willed my legs to move me forward. Hange called me over so she could explain the immobilization protocol.
"In order to keep them completely immobile we need to keep their muscles from being able to expand and contract properly." She walked over to the single cart that they had brought along and pulled out what appeared to be a giant, metal nail. "We will insert these into each arm, each legs, and along the side of the spine, then tie the legs together and the arms around the back." She paused and slammed the nail into the titan's arm. It did not flinch, just continued to stare off into space. "There is a small, abandoned house not too far away. We'll attach a rope to its legs and attach the other end to each of our bodies and drag him to the house on our horses." She stated matter of fact. "Are you kidding?! Fuck that no way. Count me out!" Oluo protested. "How are we even going to managed to pull that thing? It's much too heavy." Petra added. "Well titans are actually very light in body weight, despite how big they are. Between the seven of us it should be relatively easy to drag it back to the house." I chimed in. Everyone turned their heads and stared at me. I made a confused face at them all. "What? It's true." I shrugged. "I just never hear you speak much and when you do it's just this random burst of facts. No wonder Hange picked you." Eld replied casually. "Well let's get moving!" Hange ordered enthusiastically.
A thin layer of sweat clung to my body as I finished inserting the last spike into the titans back near the middle vertebrae. I was already exhausted and dreaded the fact that we now had to drag a titan all the way back to this house Hange spoke of. This house better not be that far away.
The journey was long and hot. The sun was almost in the center of the sky and beat down on my back relentlessly. I took my jacket off and rolled up the sleeves of my shirt in an attempt to cool down. The house finally came into view and I filled with relief.
Suddenly the ground began to tremble beneath me. My horse started whinnying in distress and the rumbled her hooves grew heavier and heavier.
"Titian! 12 meters! It looks to be a deviant!" Eld yelled to all of us. "Shit. Everyone cut your ropes and engage!" Levi order. "Protect my specimen as well as you can, everyone! But if it looks like you'll lose your life over it, retreat!" Hange added. I nodded my head and took off at a gallop toward the titan.
We were at a heavy disadvantage as since we were in a wide open field. There was nothing to anchor onto so everyone had to be extremely cautious. With the titan almost in range, Levi deployed his gear first, latching onto the titans shoulder. He flew with visible ease and sliced the titans jaw, causing it to go limp. The titan swung its arms up in the air in order to get Levi away from his face. Levi was too quick and had already landed on the ground. Now's my chance to show everyone I'm more than just brains. I increased my gallop and finally came close enough to deploy my gear as well. I hit my mark perfectly on its abdomen and flew towards the titan. Fear was seeping out of every pore in my body but the adrenaline coursing through it was so fierce that I was able to power through. Holding my blades the way Levi had taught me, I sliced a large chunk of the titans thigh and watched as it slid out onto the ground. The titans leg gave out and struggled to hold itself upright.
"Excellent hit, Europa!" Gunter called to me. Although unexpected, I smiled and nodded to him in thanks. I released my anchor and landed on the ground with a heavy thud. I managed to catch Levi's eye before he lifted off into the air again and you could have sworn I saw a smirk, but I pushed that thought from my mind. He clearly wasn't interested in me anymore, or so it seemed to me; I was making something out of nothing. Levi finished off the titan with a clean cut to the back of its neck and it toppled to the ground with an enormous bang. Everyone finally relaxed and headed back to where the other titan lay.
"Maaaaan I really don't want to drag this stupid thing back." Oluo whined under his breath. Everyone silently agreed, except for Hange. "Come on everyone! We have just a little bit more to go! I want to get there and start on my experiments!" Hange explained vehemently. It was going to be a long night for me.
Still exhausted, I reluctantly opened my eyes to see Hange staring at me. "OH MY GOD. WHAT THE HELL HANGE?!" I snapped, surprised. "Get up! We have to grab one more titan today! I don't want Jack to get lonely."
"Jack?"
"The titan we just caught, of course! I named him!" Hange replied proudly.
I laughed at her and slowly got up. "You really are something, Hange." I stretched and yawned. "Did you do any more research after I went to sleep?" I asked. She shook her head. "I figured I needed some sleep, too, so I had energy for today's endeavours." I nodded my head in agreement. "Well get a move on, everyone is waiting for you." I looked at her, eyes wide. "What?! Why did no one get me up?! Uhhhgg!" I rushed to get all of my gear on and started fast walking out the door. "Hange come on let's go!" I called to her. "Oh, I'm not going. I'm staying here with Jack to get some more experiments in. I expect to see you back here to help with our other experiments though! So don't die on me!" She yelled down the hallway with a huge smile on her face. I rolled my eyes and made my way out of the front door.
Levi, Oluo, Petra and Eld were waiting for me at the edge of the compound. "Where's Gunter?" I asked, noting he was absent. "He's staying back with Hange as precautionary measure should that beast break free some how." Oluo answered. "Gotchya. Well let's go then, shall we?" I suggested. Everyone except Levi acknowledged my proposal, but followed none the less.
The forest looked lush and green in the morning sun and the smell of the pine filled my lungs; I savored every breath. Almost no sun shown through into the forest, save a stray ray of light every so often. The five of us proceeded inside with great caution.
"So what's the plan here?" I asked. Everyone looked to Levi. "We split up. Eld with Olou go west, Petra with Europa go east, and I'll be going north but hopping between your pairs as well." Everyone nodded and set off in their given directions.
Petra and I traveled in comfortable silence, scanning the trees for the next specimen. Petra seemed nice enough, but I didn't really care to make new friends. However, I figured since she was my teammate now that I should try and befriend her.
"So Petra, how do you like being on Levi's squad? Is it hard? I've gathered that he's not the friendliest of types." Petra giggled at my comment. "No, he's not terribly friendly. He stays quiet more often than not, but he's a great captain." She looked off into the distance somewhere and a smile spread across her face. "We all trust him with our lives. We have to in order for this team to work as well as it does." Her smiled widened, "and it doesn't hurt that he's so good looking!" I gave her a sideways glance and tried to keep my eye from twitching. "Are you and the captain seeing each other?" I asked bluntly while trying to sound as even toned as possible.
I couldn't help the growing seed of jealousy that had planted itself within me. These emotions frustrated me to no end. I couldn't seem to wrap my head around the situation between the two of I was so sure he was interested in me that I didn't even question it. Other times, however, and more often than not recently, I got the feeling that he wanted nothing to do with me. Hearing Petra talk about him so casually, like she's known him forever, really cut into me, for some reason.
"Oh goodness no!" Her face turned bright red and relief washed over me like a tidal wave. "Captain Levi doesn't see me in that way. I don't know if he ever will see someone that way. I just hope it is me when he does." She added bashfully. I gave her a weak smile and let the conversation die right there.
"What about you, Europa? How do you like being in the survey corps?" She asked, resurrecting the exchange. I sighed internally. "It's pretty alright, I guess. I really like the fact that I have all this access to a lab and such. It's much different than what I'm used to."
Nostalgia hit me like a brick wall as I remembered all the men, women, and children I tried relentlessly to save from the fall of Shiganshina. I clenched my fists around the hilt of my blades and tried to push the thoughts away.
"Being apart of this team is a real honor, though. I've done my research on all of you, and I must say you all are pretty amazing. I'm proud to be apart of this team. I just hope I don't get in anyone's way."
"As long as you trust us you'll never get in the way." She said sweetly, smiling kindly at me.
Rapidly, I deployed my anchor in the complete opposite direction as I had almost collided with a 14 meter class who had peaked around a tree. "Shit!" I cursed.
The titans hands flew up into the air trying, in vain, to capture me. I had swung behind him and landed on a branch high above his head. Petra had done the same on a branch across the way from me.
"Petra, what do we do? Engage or not?" She hesitated and shifted uncomfortably on her feet. I waited for her reply. If we don't engage we run the risk of it not only following us, but running into the others as well. I don't see any other options.
Petra's uncertain manner quickly disappeared and her stance changed to one of attack. "Engage target, Europa!" I nodded my head and set off after the titan. Latching onto its shoulder, I swung low and aimed my blades for the backs of the knees. Quickly and efficiently I sliced both backs and the titan cried out. The sound had caught me completely off guard and caused me to lose control as I landed on a tree branch. I slipped and tumbled down, hitting a few branches in the process. A broken branch tore a huge gash into my thigh and I cried out from the searing pain. Fuck. I need to deploy an anchor. The ground was approaching much quicker than I would have liked and panic started creeping into my system. Looking around rapidly, I began searching for some sort of exit strategy. The ground was becoming dangerously close at this point. There! I found the perfect shot but I only had a brief window of opportunity to make it.
Time stood still and all the sound around me was muffled as I took the shot. I looked down and hoped with all my might that I wouldn't come face to face with the cold, hard ground - literally.
There was a gentle thud.
The anchor had met its mark.
My body shot upwards and I let a few tears of happiness slide down my face. "Oh my god." I whispered in between breaths. The branch I stood on was high enough away that I was able to get myself together, but only for a moment; Petra needed me. "Damn it! What the-" I looked down at my leg to see that the whole thing was completely drenched in blood and it was starting to form a small puddle underneath me, seeping into the bark. "Fuck!" Thinking quickly, I took off my jacket and undid the leather strap on my thigh.
Pain seared through my whole body as I tried to undo the strap without touching the wound, but it was futile. I refused to scream, so I bit my lip until I almost bit right through it. Carefully, I wrapped my jacket around the gash, using the sleeves as a makeshift tourniquet. I put the strap back on over the jacket and tightened it as much as I could. The pain was absolutely indescribable, but I had managed to stall the bleeding some.
"Europa! Are you okay?!" Petra called, flying in next to me. The titan was following right behind her - we had to moved fast.
"Yeah. I'll be okay. Let's finish this." I said, getting up shakily. I felt a little dizzy from all the blood loss but refused to let it stop me. If I was going to be apart of this team and this organization, I had to prove my worth.
Petra eyed me up and down with concern but she couldn't argue. There was no time. We both launched an anchor and came at the titan with great speed. The titan had been preoccupied with Petra so it turned its head in her direction, leaving me a perfect opening to slice the back of its neck. In one swift flick of my blades, a huge chunk of neck meat came sliding out and down to the ground. The titan stopped dead in its tracks and fell to the ground, taking a few trees with it.
I landed sloppily on a tree branch and slumped over and leaned against the trunk. Sweat was pouring down my face and I felt like you was going to lose consciousness sooner rather than later. I will not die. I will not die! I refuse! Petra rushed over to me and knelt down.
"Europa what happened? Oh god, we need to get you to an infirmary." She said, horrified by all the blood she could see. "I'm..." Your breathing was labored and harsh, "...fine... I just... Just get me... Compound... Hange..." Was all I could muster before you slipped into blackness.
What felt like seconds later, I came back to and heard someone yelling my name. A hand had taken hold of my shoulder and began shaking me.
"Europa! Damn it you idiot, do not die on me! Stay awake!" The voice sounded so far away and I couldn't seem to open my eyes to see who it was. "Europa stay with me! Shit! Round up the others, we have to go back, now!" Someone had picked me up off of the branch. Every little movement felt like I was floating in the ocean - nothing seemed real. I was still unable to open my eyes, but sounds were becoming easier to distinguish. I moaned in pain as I was set down once again. "Europa, please, you have to stay awake. I can't lose you." The voice pleaded with me. I could have sworn it was Levi, but I had no way of knowing. All of this seemed like a dream and I could feel myself fading again. "No! No! Stay awake! Shit, Europa!" The voice faded out into the distance and I plunged into darkness once more.
