Shards of a Life

Scotland, Highlands

The message Dumbledore had sent was vague and without detail, but Remus was shaken to his core. Emmeline stood frozen in shock, her hand pressed against her mouth. Benjy stared at the spot where Dumbledore's Patronus had vanished into thin air.

"Attacked?" he sputtered in disbelief. "Niamh? Discovered?"

"We're going back now," Remus ordered. "I need to get to St Mungo's."

Dumbledore's words rang in his head. Not woken yet… Prospects not good… Voldemort knows… Return immediately… Damage control…

"We can't go to Headquarters," Benjy protested.

"We'll go to Hogwarts," Remus decided. "If Dumbledore isn't there, McGonagall will know where he is."

They checked the small hut they had stayed in while spying on the giants for any signs of their presence and quickly Disapparated. The gates of Hogwarts opened for them after they had put their hands on the gate and they hurried up the path leading to the front doors. Though it was very early in the morning, Remus had no doubt McGonagall would be up. The sinking feeling in his chest told him something really had gone wrong. He took the steps leading to the front doors three at a time and banged loudly on the wood.

Argus Filch opened it, narrowing his eyes suspiciously at the visitors. "Not you," he said with distaste. "I'd hoped your graduation was the last I'd see you and your rule-breaking friends."

Remus refrained from rolling his eyes. "We need to speak to Professor McGonagall immediately."

"She's not up yet."

"Yes, I am, Argus," a stern voice said behind him. Minerva McGonagall looked very much awake and was fully dressed. "In my office, please. Thank you, Argus."

She swept past Filch and led the three to her office, closing her door securely. She drew up some chairs and sat behind her desk. Remus was unpleasantly reminded of his Hogwarts years and the many times he had been here.

"Tea?" McGonagall asked.

"Please just tell us what's happened," Remus insisted.

McGonagall sighed. "At the moment we are relocating our persons in hiding and emptying Headquarters. Voldemort has extracted the information about it's location from Niamh's mind."

"Extracted?" Emmeline breathed in horror. "What does that mean?"

"We're not sure yet. The curses under which she was placed… The Healers are still trying to identify them. She can't help us; she's still unconscious. This means we have no idea how much Voldemort knows."

Remus groaned. "How is Sirius holding up? I have to get to him – "

McGonagall raised a hand. "Sirius is in St Mungo's as well. For treatment of his injuries. He was captured by Death Eaters yesterday and that is how Niamh was discovered. They confronted her with him and demanded she used the Cruciatus Curse on him."

"And she didn't," Remus deducted, closing his eyes. "How do you know all this?"

"Sirius was not as gravely injured as Niamh. He told us what he knew, but they were locked up separately, so he doesn't know everything that happened while they were apart."

There was something in his former Head of House's eyes that made him frown. "But he did know something."

"Voldemort left with a large group of Death Eaters to go after Dorcas," McGonagall said.

"Oh Merlin," Emmeline interrupted. "Did they – "

"Yes, I'm afraid so," McGonagall nodded, the lines around her mouth becoming more prominent. "Dorcas was murdered in her home last night."

"What do you mean, her home?" Benjy burst out. "That house was so heavily warded not even a flea could get in. Dorcas cast the spells herself!"

"They ambushed her when she returned home from work. As many things, we're not sure how."

"What about Niamh?" Remus croaked. "What happened to her?"

McGonagall never backed away from anything, but now she looked him in the eye with something that came close to reluctance. "When Voldemort left, he ordered three Death Eaters to stay behind. One of them was Evan Rosier."

Remus fell back in his seat, swearing under his breath. "What did he do? What has he done to her? Are you saying he – he – "

"Sirius said he didn't know, but apparently Rosier hinted at it and Niamh's reaction – "

"I have to get to St Mungo's," he said, raising from his chair. "Now."

To his surprise McGonagall didn't say anything to stop him, but merely nodded. Remus realised with a sickening jolt of his stomach just how serious Niamh's condition was.

"I'll come with you," she said. "Aurors are guarding her room."

"What can we do?" Emmeline asked.

"For the moment we're storing everything from Headquarters in a safe house Albus has created. The Order members who are there are very careful and probably nervous too. Make sure you send a message before you arrive. Sturgis is there right now. You should send your Patronus to him."

Benjy and Emmeline nodded and Benjy sent his Patronus out the door. Remus was grateful he didn't say anything about Niamh. After his insinuations Remus didn't think he could control himself if he did.

"Come along," McGonagall said. "We'll Apparate to St Mungo's from outside the gates."

Remus's heart was beating loudly in fear as the four of them hurried through the castle. Some early students blinked sleepily as they passed them by. Was it not even three years ago he was one of them? And look what had happened to him and his friends.

Sturgis's Patronus appeared just as they reached the gates. Benjy and Emmeline Disapparated immediately.

"I'll meet you at the entrance," McGonagall told Remus. She turned on the spot and vanished with a loud crack. He followed her. They entered the magical hospital together. McGonagall looked around for a moment and then briskly walked to the welcome witch. "Niamh Carden," she barked.

The welcome witch didn't even blink. She ran her finger down a list on her desk. "We don't have anyone hospitalized with that name," she said in a bored voice.

"Good," the Deputy Headmistress said. "Ah, Alastor."

Moody limped towards her, his magical eye fixed firmly on her. "Password."

"Acid pops and lemon drops make a bad combination," she murmured quietly.

"True," Moody nodded. "Come on." He looked at Remus. "I figured you'd be here soon," he growled.

"How is she?" he breathed.

"No improvement. The Healers are doing what they can. It's Black who needs your help. Not even Potter can get through to him, even though he's been trying all night. But I need that Auror now."

"Why?"

Moody gave him a horrible, nasty smile over his shoulder as he thumped up the stairs. "We caught a few Death Eaters last night. Antonin Dolohov, Igor Karkaroff, Amycus and Alecto Carrows… But I want Rosier. That son of a hag won't escape me now."

It crossed Remus's mind that Alastor Moody was a very scary man when riled, but he only said, "Good."

When they reached the fourth floor, Spell Damage, they walked quickly to the last ward, which was heavily guarded. "Andrews, Robertson, Longbottom, Fraser, aside!" Moody commanded the four Aurors, who pointed their wands at the three.

"Identify yourself first, sir," Frank Longbottom said, somewhat apologetic.

Moody hissed something in Frank's ear, who nodded and stepped aside. "Clear."

The older Auror stayed behind to spit orders at the guards, while McGonagall led him into the ward. Remus heard Sirius's angry voice almost straight away.

"I will NOT just sit here!" it shouted. "Let me come along! I want him dead!"

Softer voices that he couldn't discern sounded gentle and soothing, but futile.

"James, you will take me to Ollivander's this instance! I need a new wand."

McGonagall hurried him into the room where Sirius sat on a hospital bed, his skin a deathly pale but his cheeks flushed with anger. Lily and James stood opposite him, James raising his hands in a calming manner and Lily with three different phials in her hands.

"Remus!" she exclaimed in relief. "You're here."

"I'll leave you alone," McGonagall said and closed the door behind her.

Remus looked at Sirius, who had closed his mouth at the sight of his friend. "What happened, Padfoot?"

Sirius's face contorted in anguish. "They… He… She almost died." He jumped from the bed, wincing slightly, and stalked over to the window, the back he turned on his friends straight and rigid. "She almost slipped away – I saw her slip away from me. Oh God, there was so much blood." He rubbed his hands off on his jeans, almost subconsciously.

"But she's still alive," Lily whispered. "She'll make it."

"They kept her in another room," Sirius continued hoarsely. "I couldn't protect her from…" He spun around. "I want him dead. He'll pay for what he has done."

"You can't leave St Mungo's," Lily tried again. "You have to take these potions every twenty minutes to fight the after-effects of the Cruciatus Curse."

"I DON'T CARE ABOUT THOSE POTIONS!" he roared.

"Unfortunately for you," James snapped, "we do! Moody is already bringing a large force together to go after Rosier and the others. He doesn't need a vengeful, emotionally overloaded, hot-headed, and wounded wizard like you!"

Sirius huffed.

"Sirius," Remus said softly. "Niamh needs you here."

A desperate expression slid over the injured man's face, his anger vaporising. "I can't sit around and wait for – there are Healers everywhere. They won't let me near her. I thought she'd died, and then they took her away. I haven't seen her since. I can't do nothing, Remus! I'm the one that put her in this mess in the first place. I have to try to – to –"

"What do you mean?"

"They caught me. Eight of them. Appeared out of nowhere," Sirius answered, his voice rising in anger for a brief moment before it was choked with torment. "And I did – I was stupid enough to try and fight them. I thought they were going to kill me, but they just knocked me unconscious. I woke up on a graveyard. Voldemort compromised her. Niamh, he wanted her to torture me. And she couldn't. I tried to make her, but she wouldn't. I'm the reason she was discovered."

"Padfoot…"

"Merlin, it's eating me up. She asked me to be careful ages ago and I promised her. I promised her I wouldn't take any risks."

"Sirius, this isn't your fault," Lily said softly, her lip trembling.

"It is! Don't you see? This is all my fault. I should've tried to escape, Disapparate, run away, I don't know, not stay and fight. For Merlin's sake, how could I be so stupid? I did this to her. I'm the reason she's laying in that room, being drained of all her blood to get that curse out of it. What was left of it, anyway."

"The Healers are doing all they can," James said helplessly.

"You need to take the potions again, Sirius," Lily told him, looking at her watch.

"I'm fine."

"Sirius!" she snapped. "You're not fine. Don't be such a stubborn fool and take the potions. The sooner you do, the sooner I can discharge you."

The door to the room opened. Moody stuck his head inside. "Potter, we're leaving."

"Yes, sir."

"Not a word, Black," Moody growled when Sirius opened his mouth. "You're still only an Assistant Auror and you're injured. You are staying here and that is my final word."

Sirius looked livid.

"I'm sorry, mate," James mumbled and clapped his friend on the shoulder when he walked past him, touching Lily's face on his way out.

"Be careful," she whispered.

Before he left, Moody's face softened for a brief moment. "We'll get him."

Sirius clenched his fists and stared venomously at the shutting door.

"Sirius, your potions," Lily persisted.

"Could you go and ask how she's doing?" he asked anxiously. "I'll take the potions, but please?"

"Of course. Remus?"

"Yeah, I'll stay here."

With a disgusted face Sirius swallowed the potions, the taste making him shudder. He tossed the empty phials on the bed, where they refilled themselves. The ink on the labels changed. It said now '92 doses left'. He seemed to calm down a little. He sat on the bed and heaved a few deep sighs.

Remus hesitated for a moment, wondering whether he should ask what had happened. He feared he would only upset Sirius again with his questions. He could wait.

Lily returned shortly.

Sirius jumped to his feet, every trace of rest vanished. "And?"

"They're still working on her," she answered. "They couldn't say anything more."

"Merlin be damned," he hissed. "I can't take this. All this waiting is killing me."

But waiting was all they could do. Over the next few days Remus stayed in that hospital room with Sirius and Lily, while Peter came to visit every now and then. He seemed to have trouble coping with his injured friends and looked terribly upset every time he saw Sirius. He could barely look him in the eye.

James popped in whenever he could. Moody chased him and the other Aurors all over the country, in pursuit of the fugitive Death Eaters, but so far they had only managed to find Timothy Travers, who had refused to let himself be arrested. An Auror killed him.

A list of wanted men had been published, but, James admitted unwillingly, Lucius Malfoy had stepped into the Ministry and demanded his name to be cleared, because he had an alibi and was appalled a law-abiding citizen such as himself could be slandered in such a manner. He was cleared of all charges. As were Rodolphus and Bellatrix Lestrange.

But Moody viciously hunted down Evan Rosier. He'd told Bartemius Crouch, the Head of the Magical Law Enforcement Department, that he had seen Rosier at the scene himself. Crouch gave him permission to use any means necessary.


After three days they were allowed to see Niamh. The Healer-in-charge, Anselm Shepard, paused with the doorknob in his hand. "She has not woken yet. We have been able to stop the bleeding and extract the curse, but she is severely injured."

"Please," Sirius croaked. "Just let me see her."

Shepard nodded. "One at a time."

"I'll wait outside," Remus said.

The Healer opened the door and Sirius stepped inside. Remus heard a muffled groan coming from his friend and then a breathed "Niamh". Sirius rushed over to the bed, pressing a trembling hand to her face.

It had never really occurred to Remus before, how small a woman Niamh actually was. She was a head shorter than him, but she'd always seemed to be equally tall as him. Maybe it had to do something with the way she held her head or pulled her shoulders back. But now, lying in that hospital bed, there was hardly anything left of her. He saw Sirius plummet in the chair next to the bed and lean his elbows on the mattress, burying his head in his hands, his shoulders shaking.

Remus found it too painful to watch and looked at the Healer. Shepard seemed to understand his unspoken question. "We managed to discover she was hit with two different curses. One was an unusual form of a Strangling Curse, which we knew of because of Mr Black's information. But though that curse caused an extensive wound in Miss Carden's neck, it did not explain the excessive bleeding. She was near death when she was brought here."

"So what did cause it?" Remus asked, remembering Sirius's constantly repeating, horrified comments on how much blood there was.

"We didn't know for a long time and we still don't have a cure, but it appears to be an extremely old spell that enters the blood. It's meant to cause a very painful death. She would have drowned in her own blood. We've tried to get rid of the spell by removing all the cursed blood, an unusual idea of my Trainee Healer Smethwyck, using copious amounts of Blood-Replenishing Potion in combination with some of her blood that was still untainted, but the curse had already begun attacking her stomach. Had she been brought in a moment later, too many organs would have been ruined for us to heal."

"But she'll make it?" Remus pressed. "She made it in time?"

"If these were her only injuries I'd be able to say yes, but as it is…"

"What does that mean?"

"Miss Carden's mind was assaulted in a very forceful manner. Because she was able to defend herself, more strength was needed to probe into her head. We don't know how much damage has been done until she wakes up. We also know she has been put under the Cruciatus Curse.

"Then there is the matter of…" Shepard's voice faltered, his eyes measuring Remus.

"Professor McGonagall already told me about – " He found he couldn't get it out of his throat.

"Yes, Miss Carden has also suffered from physical violence. We were able to heal her broken wrist and cheekbone immediately and the cuts on her forehead and lip will most likely leave no permanent scars, but we fear the psychological damage. This is not the first time we've come across a victim of rape by Death Eaters."

"I know there are a few that… have that tendency," Remus replied. "One of my best friends is an Auror," he added, seeing Shepard's questioning frown.

Dumbledore had ordered every Order member to keep quiet as much as they could, for Niamh's protection. The information that Niamh Carden was hospitalised had already leaked to the press, as well as the shocking fact that her ex-fiancé Evan Rosier was suspected of not only being a Death Eater but also of being her attacker. The Healers and hospital workers had their hands full trying to keep the press out of St Mungo's, but despite their lack of information the articles in the paper soon deducted that Miss Carden could be connected to the Ministry and that it had been a revenge action.

Some of the press had turned to Niamh's family to verify this, but they were silent as the grave. Remus had listened in consternation to Sirius telling him how her father had deserted her, leaving her to her death.

Remus focussed on the Healer again. "So what is going to happen now?"

"We'll have to wait until she wakes up before we can assess the damage."

"What if she doesn't wake up?" he asked worriedly.

Shepard looked very grave. "Then I'm afraid there's nothing more we can do for her."


Remus carefully stepped into the room. It had been over two weeks and Niamh still hadn't regained consciousness. The quietness in the ward was the reverse of what was going on outside. Rumours were flying everywhere. The capture of five Death Eaters was a huge and desperately needed success for the Ministry, which applied summary justice to the criminals and shipped them off to Azkaban. Aurors were still searching for Rosier, who had been untraceable as of yet.

The pure-blood world was appalled. Those with connections to Voldemort made an effort to pretend to be and kept their mouths shut. Surprisingly, Sophie Rosier had not been made a pariah, even though her husband's fate was determined. Whether he would ever be found or not, he was condemned as a Death Eater, and not even the pure-blood society's slick and cunning way of working around such trivial matters could change that. However, Sophie claimed not to have known about Evan's allegiance to You-Know-Who and anyone who knew her didn't doubt that.

Remus had expected the room to be empty, but the black-haired man who'd been asleep right next to the bed with his head on his arms, his hand holding Niamh's, looked up. Sirius's eyes were red-rimmed and had black shadows under them. He gave his friend a strained smile. "Hi, Moony."

"How is she?" Remus asked softly. He was surprised to see Sirius here during the day. Having to stay all day in the magical hospital, waiting for Niamh's condition to change, had almost driven him mad, so Dumbledore had assigned him some protection shifts to keep those who were still in hiding safe. Remus knew full well it was guilt that made Sirius even more restless than usual, but he knew better than to attempt to get this through to Sirius. He wouldn't listen.

"No change," Sirius answered. His voice was hoarse and raspy.

Remus frowned. "When's the last time you slept, Padfoot? In a bed, I mean."

"I'm fine. What time is it?"

"Almost eleven."

Sirius swore under his breath and rose from the chair. "I'm late. Sturgis will kill me if I don't release him from his shift." He let go of Niamh's hand and put on his jacket with hurried movements. "Will you be here, Moony?"

"Yeah, but listen. Why don't you take a break and go home to sleep? I'm sure Sturgis will understand."

Sirius shook his head. "No need, I've slept here. Besides, I'd just start mulling things over if I lie in bed. I'll come back tonight." He caressed Niamh's cheek for a moment, before an indecipherable expression slid over his face. "I have to go," he choked.

Remus grimaced at the pain in his friend's voice. "Okay."

Sirius rushed past him to the door, but turned around. "Moony?"

"Yes?"

"Thanks. You know, for everything."

Remus nodded and looked back at the bed. "Merlin!"

"What?" Sirius asked, alarmed.

"She moved! She moved! I saw it! She moved her head."

"Merlin," Sirius breathed and brushed past him, back into the room. "Niamh! Wake up, love. Can you hear me? Niamh, please." He grabbed her hand again and put his hand around her cheek. "Remus, get a Healer."

Remus stormed out of the room, heading towards the Healers' office. "She's waking up," he panted. "Niamh's just moved. She's waking up."

Shepard and Smethwyck shot through the door, running to her room, followed by Remus. Sirius was still calling her name, patting her hand and stroking her face.

"Mr Black, if you please," Shepard said firmly.

"I'm not leaving," Sirius snapped. "Niamh, come on. I know you can hear me. Open your eyes."

Remus gasped when there seemed to be a response coming from the lifeless body in the bed. Niamh's head made a small, twitchy movement.

"That's right, love," Sirius breathed excitedly. "Come on, wake up. Open your eyes for me. Remus is here too. And James and Lily will come and visit you this afternoon. Don't you want to see Harry? Please, Niamh, wake up. For me. Please."

"Keep talking, Mr Black," Shepard encouraged him.

Niamh's head moved again. Suddenly her breathing became less regular. She inhaled faster and shallower.

"Look at me, Niamh. Open your eyes. I know you can do it. Listen to me, please," Sirius continued more urgently. "Wake up. Please, Niamh, please."

Her eyelids fluttered.

"Yes!" Sirius exclaimed.

"Mr Black, please restrain yourself," Smethwyck said.

Sirius sent him a vicious glare, and then just ignored him. "Come on, Niamh. You can do this. Look at me, love."

Her eyelids moved again and slowly opened. Tiny slits of dark blue appeared under her lashes.

"Niamh," Sirius breathed in a strangled voice.

Her eyes opened further and they glided from left to right. Slowly they focussed on the man hovering over her. Her lips parted as if she wanted to say anything, but no sound came from her.

"There you are," Sirius smiled. "You've kept us waiting." He brought her fingers to his lips with a shaking hand and kissed them.

Niamh stared at him.

"Miss Carden, can you hear us?" Healer Shepard asked.

Her eyes closed slightly, but she turned them to him.

"She can," Smethwyck said eagerly. "She responded to you."

"Miss Carden," Shepard said slowly and articulately. "You are in St Mungo's Hospital. You're safe and you're going to be fine. Just rest."

Niamh looked at him a little longer, before her eyes unfocussed and she slipped back into unconsciousness.

"Niamh, no!" Sirius shouted, startled.

"Don't worry," Shepard comforted him. "She's only asleep now."


A/N: So sorry I kept you waiting this long, but finally my exams are finished. Expect more regular updates from now on! Anyways, a quick but huge thank you to all my reviewers before I head to the beach (five days of great weather, very unusual...). Kendra-the hyper one, messr-paddifoots-love, allweknowisfalling (new reviewer yay!), Sirael, Domlando Blonaghan (was that film perhaps 'the recruit' with Colin Farrell?), Michelle (another new reviewer! Great to hear from you!), Jennie, Kurama-forever ( I hope you enjoyed the wedding, despite the long, long drive), CrystalPrincess13 (yet another new reviewer! Tnx!), albusbreaststroke (cliffhangers are a problem with 1st person stories, but hey, it was a good way to end the chapter :D), Mara (new reviewer! Tnx!) and the last new reviewer Pannychan22! Thanks very much for your thoughts. I hope you've enjoyed this chapter.

Witch of Eastwick