A/N: I sincerely apologize for how late this update is. That being said, I hope the content helps to make up for my long absence from the story. Warning! This is another one of the chapters that earns the rating I gave this fic, so please take that into consideration before you start reading.

As always a special thanks to my most wonderful beta reader Zonkiethegreat , and a most heartfelt thankyou to all that reviwed and favorited this story, I hope it continues to live up to your expectations. So without further ado...

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Chapter 7

Found and Lost

It was so unexpected, and happened so suddenly, that it was a wonder Mustang managed to catch her at all. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Al press himself against the fence.

Clearly he was concerned, and he wasn't the only one. A couple of the men from the squad had also begun to move in their direction as he swung her limp form up into his arms.

He had expected her to react, but not this badly. Though in hindsight, he wasn't at all certain how he had expected her to react. Looking down into her face, though it was quite pale, he could see she was breathing normally.

"She's alright." He said, mostly addressing the men, but speaking loudly enough that Al, who had now been joined by his brother, would be able to hear.

He turned back toward the main gate, the brothers watching as he passed. Al, looking quite distraught, gripped the fence tightly, clearly feeling helpless...

Ed, on the other hand, stood back, seemingly aloof from the events unfolding before him.

Roy knew this had long been his way, and it was really no indicator of his internal emotions, but at that moment, the distant look in Ed's eyes truly enraged him...

For the first time since the start of this whole mess, Mustang began to feel real anger towards someone other than himself... Them, both of them. Because it was specifically their abandonment of her that had made necessary all that she had been through up to this point.

He knew that he had never been a friend to her, despite his best intentions. But these boys, these MEN, were supposed to be two of her dearest friends, and he could not help but be infuriated by what they had done to bring about this ordeal, hypocritical though he knew it was...

He'd almost made it back to the main gate when Harper caught up to them. Having been informed by those men present, what had happened, he had hurried to intercept them.

With some difficulty, Mustang swallowed his anger and slowed his pace to match that of this man who had become a real friend to him.

"Where you headed?"

"Back to the camp, she needs to rest."

"Well, if a bed's all you're looking for, don't go all the way back there, just bring her to the medical unit. Its cleaner, and you know the guys would never let anything happen to her." He said with a wholly ingratiating smile.

"Really?" Roy asked, already feeling a bit more at ease.

"Sure, there's only a skeleton crew here right now anyway. Most of the medical personnel are over at that camp helping out the red cross, so no one'll bother you"

After a moment's consideration Mustang nodded his assent, and the two men changed course. He followed Harper into the building that served as the medical ward, and was shown to an out of the way cot in the cavernous main room. Ever the gentlemen, Harper moved a free standing screen over to afford them some privacy.

It was hardly necessary, though. At present, aside from Harper, who quickly busied himself in a small windowed office off the main room, they were completely alone.

Carefully laying Winry in the cot, his own exhaustion began to weigh heavily on him. Seeing no chair immediately available and lacking the energy to hunt one down, he sunk to the plank wood floor, leaning against the wall near the head of the cot. Turning slightly, he folded his arms, resting them on the edge of the cot, and his head on them. It wasn't long before he too was sound asleep.

.o0o.

Disoriented, and with no memory of how precisely she had gotten there, she awoke in a room completely foreign to her... In a moment she would long to return to this blissful ignorance, but for now she cursed the fog of her confusion...

The sound of deep, gentile breathing drew her attention down to where she discovered Mustang sitting propped against the wall. His head, cradled in his own crossed arms, lay upon the edge of her cot. With a speed that was almost painful, the memories began to return...

It had barely registered in her mind at the time, the lack of elation in Roy's voice...

His delivery of such supposedly good news, had been most severely understated, even by mustang's standards... And in hindsight, she realized that should have been her first clue as to what was to follow... But she had been far too excited at the time, to notice such subtle nuances.

Not only was he alive and safe, but he also claimed to have found Ed and Al... Suddenly all the world was light and rainbows, with her most unlikely hero at it's center... Looking back now, she thought that might have been the first time he had tried outright to warn her, but she'd cut him off.

Like an excited child she'd thrown her arms around his neck, and in a show of appreciation that had surprised her as much as it had him, pressed her lips to his in a most heart felt kiss... She knew now that had been about the moment her world turned upside down, because it had suddenly become so much more than she had intended.

Excited, and perhaps a bit over zealous, she had expected the kiss to be a simple show of her excitement at the joyful news, but it didn't turn out that way at all...

The moment their lips touched, the wheels of something much larger were set in motion... Her heart paused mid-step only to break into a sprint a moment later. Unable to catch her breath, she clung fiercely to him in an attempt to keep balance on legs now made achy and weak by the adrenalin coursing through her veins. Dizzied by the contact she'd become lost... It was jarring when he finally broke the kiss.

Was it supposed to feel like that?

That he looked no less startled than she felt, was a fact she found strangely reassuring, and in that single moment apart, the one thing she was very much aware of, was that she wanted more...

Her body, already a step ahead of her mind, was well on its way back to him. The next kiss was everything the first had been and more... But it was wrong.

Her heart warring with itself, it was she who pulled away from him this time.

How could she do this?

Why? The boys she'd thought lost to her forever were nearly back in her arms again. Why had she done this?

Before she knew it, she was backing away, trying to figure out why this had happened... How it had happened...

It wasn't his fault, not at all, but she found it hard not to break into a run as she fled from him... But the box was already open, there was no closing that door now... no running or hiding from what it had revealed... And most importantly no stopping it now that it was free...

Shocked, lost, confused, she wandered the camp for hours. At first she was afraid he would chase after her, as her thoughts about him had done so efficiently, but as seconds stretched into minutes she realized that he hadn't, and more importantly, that he wouldn't... Still she kept a healthy distance from their new abode as she tried to get her jumbled, racing thoughts in order.

It was hours before, unsure of her self, but sure of what she needed to do, she returned. Again, she now thought, he'd tried to warn her, but just as she had before, she'd turned a deaf ear, too focused on her own inner turmoil, to see his uneasiness as anything more than the same confusion she felt...

He'd gone off as she asked, and when he returned to escort her to them, he'd tried once more to tell her of what was to come, but even though he had succeeded that time, she still failed comprehend the immensity of what he was trying to tell her... At least that was, until she locked eyes with the old man in the fenced in yard, limping weakly around it's perimeter.

Finally, she understood... It was ironic that a moment born of her fondest dreams could leave her feeling more alone than ever before. Hungry, tired, and shaken to the core, her mind had buckled under the weight of it, carrying her mercifully into the darkness.

But unconsciousness was no longer a mercy available to her, and now it seemed loneliness was truly destined to be her lot... Time and war had joined distance and fate in seeking to divide her from the boys she had loved so dearly as a girl, and now it seemed her apt misfortune to find love in the heart of the one man kept even more distant from her than the Elrics... With the history that lay between them, what hope did she really have of being excepted into his heart, finding solace in his arms?

Quietly she rolled into the only position that might offer her a modicum of privacy, careful not to wake him. She barely made it before the tears began to flow...

.o0o.

He awoke to the sound of quiet sobs. Outside it was dusk, and the hall had grown quite dark. As such, it took him a few seconds to figure out where he was, or who it was the sounds could be coming from...

Winry. Another nightmare?

He sat upright, and just barely through the gloom, was able to make out her form. She'd rolled onto her side, turning her back to him, and he watched her shoulders shudder in time to her breath.

It stabbed at him to hear it... This was no nightmare. When she cried in her sleep, she never tried to hide her tears as she was now.

How long had she been awake? How long had she been crying?

Too long.

He reached out to lay a hand gently on her arm.

"Winry?"

She stiffened a moment, then relaxed and turned toward him. Her face shone in the soft light that spilled from the office window.

"What's left, Roy? Is there anything left? Our world, our friends, your power to get us home, all gone... Ed and Al have grown old, and they are prisoners from the wrong side of war I can't even begin to understand, that makes them good as gone again... Tell me, what is left? How do I keep on living if there's nothing left?"

He could see the stress of it, the weight of it all pressing down on her, finally taking it's toll... Even more so than the day he had seen her beside Maes' grave, she seemed almost transparently fragile. The fissures that had for a time, begun to heal, now deepening, the fractures widening. It seemed that at any moment she would crumble irretrievably into dust, and thanks to Ed's determination to remain here, he had little aside from more bad news to offer her... But he'd be damned if he'd just sit here and watch as she fell.

"I'm here, Winry. I won't leave-"

"Don't say that! They all said that, my parents, Ed, Al, even my grandmother...They all made those promises, and they're still gone!"

It came out as an angry half sob, but it was better than the utter despair that had held it's place just a moment ago. He rose to sit on the edge of the cot, and pulled her into his arms. She didn't resist it, she barely seemed to notice the action at all.

"Don't give up, Winry, please don't give up..." He said softly, his lips so close to her ear, that her hair brushed them as several strands fluttered in the passage of his breath. "I know it's not what you'd hoped for, but I'm here, Winry, I'm still here..."

After a while her tears began to subside, and she pulled away slightly to look up at him... Her face drawn, she did not meet his eyes as she said in a ragged voice.

"I'm sorry-"

"For what." He said gently, cutting her off. "Winry, I'm the last person you should ever have to apologize to."

She gave him a weak smile, then turned her head to rest it back against his chest. He started to stroke her hair. With out much conscious thought, his head began to dip. Resting his pursed lips against the top of her head, he planted a gentle kiss there, inhaling deeply as he did. Allowing his eyes to drift shut as the scent of her washed over him, he lay his cheek against her hair relishing it's softness.

Feeling her move, he opened his eyes once more, only to find her face enticingly close to his. Her lips he found particularly entrancing. They wove a spell around him that he found exceedingly hard to resist, and he discovered that he was not really in a resisting mood.

Giving way to their pull, he closed the distance, and was pleasantly surprised by her response. Entangling the fingers of one hand in his hair she pulled him closer, deeper into the kiss. In short order, those of the other hand began to labor nimbly at the buttons of his ill fitting shirt. Seeing as she had left her hands to their own devices, he hesitated only the barest of moments before allowing his own to follow suit, ranging over her body, though he remained ever vigilant for the slightest signs of reticence.

An experienced lover, he allowed her to forge the path ahead, determining just how far down it they would travel. It was quite the most enjoyable game of follow the leader he had ever participated in, and for a time they were each able to forget where and who they were...

Sliding his hand beneath the hem of her shirt to explore the flesh concealed there, he became frustrated by the constrictions of the fabric, so retreating, they attacked the buttons. A split second later he was rewarded with her assistance. Before long the offending garment fell away, abandoned at the side of the path they now traveled, as it surrendered to him a most glorious view.

With little hesitation, he slid a hand up to cup one creamy mound, hungrily devouring it's rosy tip. Sighing, he weighed the other in his hand, letting his thumb flick over it's peak as she arched offering more of herself to him. Her hands, of their own volition, again wove themselves into his hair.

Groaning he he finally willed himself to release that hard pink tip for a moment, and gently pressed her back onto the cot as he kissed and licked a winding trail down her smooth flat abdomen. Her hands gripped tighter and tighter as he moved lower. Then as he dallied around her navel, her movements became frenzied.

She suddenly released her grip and sat up, her insistent hands now helping to relieve them both of the rest of their clothing, before reasserting their grip on his hair, by dragging him up to meet her in another deep, soul searching kiss.

Then he was joining her on the cot, covering her. Pressing his knee between hers, he urged them apart, and took his place between them. Leaning up on one elbow, he again brushed his fingers across her nipple, listened to her sharp intake of breath, and watched her eyes squeeze shut in pleasure, then laid his hand beside her and pressed his torso upward. Positioned at her entrance, he luxuriated in the feel as he began to slip in. She was deliciously hot and quite slick from their combined ministrations, and so exquisitely tight... But as he moved further he encountered a resistance and felt her stiffen beneath him, whimpering quietly.

That brought his eyes open and his head fourth from where he'd thrown it back in surrender to the sensation. He looked down into a face where ecstasy had been replaced by pain, her lower lip trapped in the vice of her teeth, eyes tightly shut, and he went still, cursing himself a fool for having thought any different.

Returning to himself from the strange amnesia that had enveloped them both, he began to pull away.

He should not be her first, would not be her first. It was criminal to even consider it. More than that, it was sacrilege... But as he began to retreat, he felt her arms encircling him, entrapping him

"Please..."

He looked down once again, noting the shiny trail left behind by a tear as it traversed her temple and slid into her hairline. Her eyes were open and glimmering now.

"...Don't stop..."

Her look was imploring, as he stroked the side of her face, catching a tear as he did.

"Please don't leave me too..." She whispered, he searched her eyes.

"You really want this..." ...from me? He left the last part unspoken, though it was what he meant.

She nodded mutely up at him, her movements becoming more desperate as she continued to pull at him. He looked deep into her eyes, but her intentions were written clearly there... Her wants, her needs...

He lowered himself, covering her again, as his lips met hers. Her one hand came to rest between his shoulder blades holding him tightly to her, the other was at the back of his head pulling him closer, deeper, as though she wished to consume him rather than simply kiss him.

She was becoming impatient with him, but he wanted to wait until she had calmed some, before beginning again. In her frustration, she tried buck, but he wrapped one arm around her waist and the other across her back to grip the opposite shoulder, using his weight and strength to keep her still as he continued the excruciating pace. Slowly sliding into her he met the resistance once again, and heard her whimper quietly as she buried her face into the crook of his neck. He paused again

"You're sure?" he murmured into her ear, she said nothing but he felt her nod against his shoulder.

This time he did not question himself, she had made her wants clear and he could not help but give in to them. Pushing forward he moved until he felt the resistance fall away. She went rigid under him and her arms becoming vice-like around him as her head pressed back into the pillow and she let out a quiet keening moan from the back of her throat. He remained still... Waiting patiently for her to make the first move, he listened to her breathing.

In a few moments, it returned to a more normal pace and he felt her hips tip up as her hands resumed their pleading pull. Releasing her from his embrace he rose up, pressing himself more deeply into her and she gasped then gave contented sigh. As he now began his slow retreat, he heard her whimper, and dipped his head to capture the tip of her breast in his mouth suckling for a moment then teasingly catching the nipple in his teeth, he gently tugged at it. She arched, pressing her head as deeply into the pillow as it would go, she began to pant. At that moment he released it and thrust forward again, watching her face contort not in pain as it had the first time, but in ecstasy and shared in it, as she came to life beneath him.

Gripping the sheets in her fists, as he began to quicken the pace, she began to buck her hips up to meet his, then reached up to wrap her arms around his neck. Conforming her body to his, as they began to move in concert, each pushing the other closer to the inevitable conclusion...

In all his life, he would never have believed he could find such happiness, such comfort, in the arms of Winry Rockbell... It was amazing, She Was amazing...

But it was more than that... it was more than just the ecstasy he felt being with her... It was the unexpected joy of knowing the words she'd said to him had not just been words... She truly had forgiven him... And he was sure to make his appreciation evident in every movement, as he drove her to the edge, then over it...

.o0o.

They lay together in the cot, she in his arms, such a comfortable fit. As her hand played over his abdomen, he felt the half numb tingle as her fingers brushed the saber scar that marred it, one of many scars he bore.

"Bradly gave you this?" She inquired without lifting her head from his shoulder.

"Yes"

Her hand stilled for a moment.

"Sheska said he nearly killed you" she said this quite softly, he lifted his head and nodded

"It was a close thing"

Now she looked up at him a pensively

"He was a homunculus, one of the homunculus?"

He nodded

"You knew that at the time?"

Again he nodded, beginning to wonder where this was going

"And yet you still chose to face him alone?"

He nodded a third time, but she was fed up with his non-answers

"Why?"

He considered this a minute before answering

"Well, to start with, I wasn't entirely alone, Riza was there, but even if she hadn't been, I still would have done it"

"But why?"

"Maes."

Her eyes softened now in understanding,

"Was he the one responsible?" She asked quietly, but he shook his head

"I don't think so, though it's quite likely he was involved in the decision..."

He shook his head again sadly.

"No, he was not the one, but he was the head of the snake we'd been fighting, the same snake that killed Maes, and I knew if I could bring him down then maybe I could accomplish at least part of what we started, even if it wasn't exactly how we'd planned it in the beginning... If I killed their figurehead, then maybe there could be a chance for peace."

Now he smiled softly down at her

"And it worked."

She returned the smile for a moment, but she was finally getting the answers she'd never gotten before and she wanted to know more

"But how were you able to manage it, I thought they were all but invincible..."

Now it was his turn to look pensive... While he hardly regretted returning Bradly to the dust, he did regret how dearly his son had paid for it. With a sad smile and a sigh, he answered simply.

"Dumb luck"

Then without elaborating any further, he changed the subject, and for once she let it go...

"When I told you... When I told you I'd lost my alchemy, you didn't seem all that surprised,...when did you know?"

She seemed almost startled by the question... That and a touch guilty. She averted her eyes for a moment.

"That you'd lost your alchemy?..."

Repeating his question, she sighed, then glancing up giving him a serious look.

"I'd had my suspicions since the very first night, but when did I know?"

He nodded, and she looked down seeming to think she might find the answer hidden somewhere in the lines and folds of her palm... Finally, haltingly, she answered.

"I knew the morning that man came into our camp... Ed told me how swiftly and decisively you dealt with that man, that terrorist, who attacked the train when they first came to central... So when that man came into our camp, held a gun to me, and you did not act... That's when I saw the fear in your eyes, that's when I knew..."

After this he was silent for a very long time, then drawing a deep breath, he broke his silence

"I have never felt as helpless as I did in that clearing... If we'd been back home, it would have been over in a second, but I was lax, relied too much on alchemy and it left me sorely unprepared for this world... But it was so easy.

"Alchemy's reliable, predictable, and with the exception of rain I knew I could control every factor, achieve any result I desired, any result I required... say I saw two people embracing, if I so chose, I could end the life of one with out so much as singeing the other, so great was the extent of my control."

He shook his head bitterly "A gun is not nearly so predictable, you barely have any control at all... will it misfire- will the bullet hit, miss, ricochet - if you miss- or you hit and it passes through your target- how far will it travel?- and more importantly, most importantly- what or who else might it hit in it's travels?... Guns are messy, horrible, unpredictable things, but here that's all there is, and moreover they seem to live by them... We've been lucky so far, but luck won't save us every time, I have to adapt, or it may not be long before we die by one..."

His face had grown quite grim as he delivered this revelation, and she was truly sorry for it... but then another thought occurred to her

"Well, I am glad you failed on at least one account" She said quietly.

Not sure if he'd heard her correctly, his eyebrows drew together questioningly

"Pardon?"

She lifted her eyes to meet his, the look in them entirely genuine as she answered.

"You said you tried to bring them back... I'm glad you failed."

His heart stuttered for a moment at the mention of his attempt

"Why, wouldn't you have wanted them back?" he asked quietly, still wondering at her statement.

"I did once, but not in hindsight, not like that... If we'd have had to face them like that... As homunculus... I don't think either one of us would have survived"

He could not argue with the wisdom of her statement. The gift he'd tried to give in penance, likely would have killed them both... silently he nodded his head in agreement.

Then, though the silence stretched out between them, it was not an uncomfortable silence. Content to let it continue, he relaxed into the pillows, pulling her closer as she curled against his side.

.o0o.

She had drifted back to sleep, and he too had begun to doze, when the sound of a door opening at the back of the building roused him. It was followed by the sound of approaching foot steps... At least two people.

He just managed to pull the blanket up to better cover her, when the screen was abruptly pulled aside revealing Harper and Carter. While both looked surprised, Carter, to his credit, at least had the decency to look somewhat abashed. Harper, on the other hand had no such quibbles, failing utterly to suppress a self satisfied grin as he took in the scene before him.

It was a moment before Carter was able to compose himself, but after unnecessarily clearing his throat several times, he quietly requested Mustang's presence outside as soon as possible, then quickly pulled the screen back to it's previous position. He heard their footsteps retreat back the way they had come, then just before the door clicked shut, he heard Carter mutter.

"Wipe that smile off your face, Harper, you knew it was bound to happen sooner or later..."

With the greatest reluctance, he slid his arm from beneath her head. Dressing quietly, he slipped away leaving her to sleep. At the back of the ward he found the door they had come through, and just outside it they waited, breaths steaming in the chill night air.

A low, ominous, rumble of thunder greeted him as he stepped outside, signaling an unexpected change in the weather

"So what's this about" He asked when he'd closed the door.

The fact that Harper's grin had completely disappeared by the time he got there, left him feeling suddenly uneasy, and the somber glance the two exchanged next, did nothing to quell it.

"Bad news, I'm afraid..."

Carter paused for a moment, but went on before Mustang had a chance to ask what it was.

"Roy, our proximity to the front lines is making the higher ups nervous. They've decided to move the Elrics to a location they feel is more secure... It's happening tonight, and we'll be accompanying them..."

"Alright?" Mustang answered hesitantly, sensing there was more.

"The rest of the personnel from this camp as well as the refugees will likely begin relocating sometime tomorrow, but it is unlikely they will be headed for the same destination..."

That was bad news... Mustang thought for a moment, trying to come up with some sort of way to stay with the brothers. He vaguely recalled Buxton having said that the prisoners had yet to speak to any of the liberating troops, maybe he could use that to his advantage...

"Perhaps you could convince them to keep me on as a translator" He suggested hopefully, Winry would be crushed if she got this close just to lose them again.

The two exchanged another weighty glance then with a sigh Carter continued

"That's not the problem, Roy. Buxton actually requested you. He said it's because the military translator hasn't gotten here yet, but to be honest, I think it's more than that, I think he wants to keep an eye on you since you know so much already..."

Breaking off, he let out a sigh before continuing

"The real problem is Winry. This is going to be a bare bones operation, no nonessential personnel... Roy, she'll have to stay behind in the refugee camp"

Not since the first day, had it ever occurred to him that they might try to split them up... The very idea of leaving her behind, especially now, chilled him to the core.

"No... NO! I can't leave her, I promised her I wouldn't..."

Carter looked grim.

"I'm sorry, Roy, truly I am, but I don't think Buxton plans to give you a choice... Hopefully he'll release you once the translator arrives"

"But how in the hell will I find her again when- IF- you let me go?" Mustang cried

"I'm sorry, it's not my decision-"

Devastated and furious, Mustang slammed the side of his fist against the wall, cutting Carter off

"I know," He said bitterly through clenched teeth. "you're just following orders"

Carter probably couldn't have looked more shocked if Mustang had slapped him... but it didn't last long...His eyes narrowed and his lips thinned, but his voice retained the same deadly calm Mustang recalled from the first day. The one that had helped to propel him to his current rank.

"You know that I would change it if I could" He said through gritted teeth.

Knowing it was the truth, Mustang fell heavily against the side of the building. The first fat, icy, drops began their assault, throwing up little puffs of dust as they drove down into the dry earth. Head in his hands, he sunk down the clapboard facade to the ground, mindful of what was quickly becoming a down pour. The irony of it wasn't lost on him...

Rain always seemed to accompany the times he failed her, the times he hurt her... That night in Ishbal a freak storm, the likes of which no one had seen in years, had rolled in. It had lashed the city for days afterward, causing flooding along with further destruction and misery the Ishbalins hardly needed... Then who could forget the night he'd planted the seed that Ed and Al might become State Alchemists... He'd been soaked to the skin from standing in the rain, first outside their house, then outside her's... This simply completed the trifecta...

He felt like he was back in that clearing, only this felt worse... It would be hard enough for her, losing them again, but for him to leave her alone now as well... This couldn't be happening, not now... It was unthinkable, unconscionable.

His hands fell limply into his lap, and he stared at them, longing for the power that once flowed through them, but it would have done him no good anyway. Rainwater had begun to pour off the eves, soaking him through and through. This too seemed cruelly appropriate. Useless... he was completely and utterly useless.

"Do you have any idea how hard it is to find a person in one of those camps at all, let alone, after they have moved, after they have been consolidated into another camp? Try impossible! and who will protect her? It's not as if she has anyone else!"

Harper now stepped forward, breaking his silence.

"I'm sorry, Roy... If I'd known then, that it would come to this, I never would have asked for your help"

"Isn't there anything you can do? At least keep her with this camp, maybe she could help the medical staff when they return... If the front's as close as you say, they'll have their hands full with wounded soon enough... They'll need all the help they can get... Right?"

If he thought he could have fought his way out of this, he would have, but he knew when he was outmatched... He'd never felt so alone in his life. Maes had kept him sane by giving him a purpose, and after he died, the need for vengeance against his killers had done it, but when that had been accomplished only she had remained... now they were coming to pry her away, the only pillar left holding him up out of the pit that had become his life in the days and months after Ishbal... And he could do nothing to stop it.

"I will go with you willingly, I swear, I only need to know that she will be safe"

He looked pleadingly up at Carter, who sighed.

"I can't make any Promises, but I'll try..."

He looked dubious, but it was the only straw Mustang had left to grasp at and he intended to hold onto it with all his might.

Drenched by the rain that continued to pour down, plastering his hair flat against his skull, he forced himself to stand. He wished it could numb his mind and his heart the way it's chill numbed his skin.

"How long do I have?"

"Two, maybe three hours at the most." Carter said apologeticly.

He felt a prickle at the corner of his eyes... Unshed tears... He could have loosed them now, under the cover of the rain, and no one would have been the wiser, but what would be the point... He gave a quick resigned nod then turned to go back inside but as he did Harper suddenly grabbed his arm

"Wait"

But he did not look back

"Please, Harper, I don't know how I'm going to tell her, but if I don't do it now I may not have it in me to do it at all..."

Harper did not release his arm.

"Roy, Stop!"

Something in his tone made Mustang look back.

"What's going on in that head, Harper" Carter demanded sharply.

"Maybe nothing" Harper replied vaguely as Roy now turned to fully face him.

"What you suggested just now, that Winry help with the wounded. Did you mean to imply that she's done it before? That she has medical training?"

Carter now fixed them both with a critical eye.

"Where's this going, Harper?" He inquired pointedly, but Harper ignored him, still focused on Mustang

"Yes," He answered warily "She and her grandmother took care of amputees, the majority were soldiers."

"Your sure of this?"

"The first time I met her was while she was caring for Edward... That was just a day after he lost his leg and arm."

Harper suddenly turned from him

"We need to go" He said, grabbing Carter's arm

"Go? Go where? Explain yourself Harper"

"No time"

With that Harper charged off into the darkness, veritably dragging Carter behind him as he went.

.o0o.

She'd been woken by loud thump on the wall beside the cot. Outside she could hear the muffled voices of Harper, Carter, and... Roy... Her heart sped a bit and a flush came over her at the thought of him...

She could not make out what they were saying over the steady patter of now falling rain, but something about their tone left her extremely uneasy, like she ought to be ready to run on a moment's notice. It was worrisome enough that she threw back the covers and began quickly to retrieve and don her clothing.

She was just pulling on her socks when she heard the rear door bang, announcing his return. He was soaked from the rain, and his face seemed to confirm her fears, but she did her best to maintain a measure of optimism, despite her misgivings... In a moment she would know it had all been for naught.

.o0o.

When they had gone, Mustang went back inside, hoping to slip back into bed, to feel the warmth of her beside him, if only for just a little while longer... Perhaps he might even have fallen asleep and when he woke to find her in his arms, this would all have been some guilt constructed nightmare... But it was not to be, when he returned he found her awake and dressing... the spell was broken, There would be no reprieve. He sighed taking a seat next to her on the cot as she pulled her boots on.

"So what did they want?" she asked distractedly as she pulled the laces of her left boot tight and tied them.

Thunder rumbled in the distance, as the rain pattered steadily on outside. He swallowed the lump in his throat

"They're getting ready to move Ed and Al. Apparently, how close this place is to the front is making the higher ups nervous..."

She froze, looking strickened for a moment, boots now forgotten. As the implications of what he'd said sunk in, he prayed that Harper and Carter might succeed in performing a miracle... What ever it might be... But all the same he knew he had to prepare her for the worst. Men like Buxton were unpredictable at best, especially when it came to taking chances...

"Buxton wants me along, he says it's, because their translator hasn't shown up yet, but I think more likely it's because he doesn't entirely trust me."

She looked confused by his somber tone

"But that's good, isn't it?" She asked tentatively, he shook his head solemnly.

"He only wants me, at the moment he's insisting you stay behind with the refuges..."

Visibly shocked, she blinked rapidly a few times as she processed this. As it had been with him, she likewise had never considered the possibility they might be split up...

"Tell him you won't go" she blurted, sounding half panicked "you can't go, You promised me you wouldn't"

His heart broke anew at her words

"I don't think he's going to give me a choice, if I don't go willingly I'll probably wind up going in chains..."

She shot to her feet and began to pace.

"He can't do this, it's not right!"

He held up his hands trying to placate her, speaking gently but firmly.

"I think Carter and Harper have gone to try and talk to him..."

But she did not stop her rapid pacing. He stood, stepping into her path, catching her wrists, he stilled her motion mid stride.

"I believe they will succeed," He said softly, bending slightly at the waist so he could look her directly in the eyes... But he did not feel any where near as confidant as he hoped he sounded, and she did not look convinced... If anything she looked shattered... And why shouldn't she? She'd rarely known anything but disappointment in her young life, and that was evidenced in her next comment

"How?... How can you believe that"

Shaking her head warily, she tried to turn away from him, started to pull away from him, both physically and emotionally, But he pulled her back.

"Because I have to... Because if I didn't believe that something good might finally come of this, I don't think I could survive..."

.o0o.

The sensation of his warm breath brushing over her face as he spoke about belief, was agonizingly sweet. By some miracle, he had opened his heart to her, welcomed her in spite of all that had come before...

She wouldn't lie, being with him was painful. But she found it was not a hollow pain, one that would go on aching until the end of time. That was a pain she was intimately familiar with, but no, this was a pain that felt like it might heal, might fade away, someday, given the chance. Would they ever be given that chance?

She buried her face in his chest, balling the cold, wet, fabric of his ill fitting shirt into her fists as she clung to him, weeping as she had the day she'd learned of her parent's deaths. Though she now wept for the instrument of their destruction, because she understood now that this in fact, was all that boy soldier had ever been... An instrument of a much greater evil, and when those childish illusions of heroic deeds had been shattered by the true nature of war, he had turned and become the instrument of that evil's destruction...

That hardly made it 'all better', but it made how strongly she felt about him, bearable... She'd once heard it said that there were no atheists in war. Now she knew that statement to be true, as she found herself praying with all her heart, begging the gods who's existence she'd once renounced, not to take the only love she had left away...