Legolas ran.

He, who prided himself on never running, who stood firm against anything that life might throw at him, who had fought the dark for centuries and still lined up for more. He ran.

And as he ran he thought, though he did not want to. How could he have got it so wrong? Had he been so unhappy, so despairing he had imagined something that wasn't there? But he had been sure, so sure, not initially but later when he arrived in Valinor, his mind cleared of the sealonging that he had felt something real and Elrohir had felt it too.

Even tonight it had felt real, that moment their eyes met. He could not have imagined that...,,but it was obvious he had. His mind, his unhappiness had tricked him into seeing things that were not there. He was a fool.

All this time the only thing sustaining him, the only thing keeping him going had been the knowledge that Elrohir would fix all this when he arrived. He would lighten his load, lift the darkness that clung to him as he had done so many years ago the night Aragorn died. He had become a beacon of light in the bleakness of his life. Now that beacon was gone. It had never existed. There was nothing to look forward to, nothing to keep on going for.

He did not know what he would do.

Adrift without direction he went to the one thing he knew was real. A hurt child, he retreated to his father. The only one he knew would protect him, would love him always. But even his father could not mend him. He knew he tried but he could only look on with worry in the end.

He did not tell him what it was that had sent him running to him this time. He could not bear it. Instead he sought out the trees. They soothed his soul even now. Only amongst the trees he could truly relax. The sea invigorated him and the trees gave him comfort. So he roamed through the forest letting the song of the trees touch his soul. But his soul was still a battered and damaged one.

It was a blow to his spirits when he returned one day to find Elrohir in his father's study. It was grief all over again endless grief, this time for something that had never been, his dreams. He would not show it though and he locked it down, all the emotion, hide it, hide it, his mind whispered, don't let him know.

"Elrohir has called in to visit you." His father explained,

"I am exploring." Elrohir said with a smile.

So he nodded but he did not smile back, why was he here? To embarrass him further?

"It is good to see you." He replied but his voice was flat and cold and left no doubt his words were a lie. It threw Elrohir, he could see it in his face, doubt and uncertainly. Well what did he expect?

"I have something I needed to return to you." Elrohir held out his hand, it was the letter, Eldarion's letter, and he yearned read it for it captured the spirit of the boy he had known but there was so much pain. He hesitated but eventually he took it. The need to connect with those he had loved was greater than the fear of pain in the end.

"I thought you could show Elrohir the settlement." His father was saying. He can stay for a few days, you will have plenty of time." His tone told him this was an expectation not a suggestion.

It was then he realised he should have confessed all. He should have told his father what had happened, how foolish he had been for he would not have then expected this of him. He had no idea how he would get through this. What was Elrohir thinking? Why had he come here? Since he didn't want him could he not just leave him alone.

...

After he had been left standing there confused, with a sinking feeling that he had somehow made a fatal mistake Elrohir did try to chase Legolas down, to find him so he could attempt an explanation but he failed miserably. It was as if he had simply disappeared.

How many years had he planned this, imagined them reuniting and yet when his chance came he could not possibly have done any worse. He brooded on the situation, on what to do, for several days before he once again approached his father.

"Where would Legolas be do you think?" he asked him one day after breakfast.

"Did he not tell you when he was here?" Elrond looked at him curiously.

He hung his head to hide his shame,

"We...things were rather tense between us...I may have misspoke."

And at the Elrond showed his displeasure.

"Did I not warn you I had concerns about him? Could you not have taken that into account?"

"Things got out of hand, I do not even know how it happened. I want to make amends but I have no idea where to find him."

His father fixed him with a long hard stare, one of his especially patriarchal ones which meant he could hide nothing.

"What is behind this interest in Legolas, Elrohir?"

Somehow he managed a lie although he had no idea how successful it was.

"Nothing beyond concern for a friend. He was devastated by Aragorn's loss. I had hoped to find him healed here but it seems he is not."

"So you show your concern by picking fights with him." Elrond paused for thought,

"It is against my better judgement to tell you this but he will most likely be with Thranduil. If you go to argue I suggest you stay away."

He was effusive with his thanks and made elaborate promises to go solely with the aim of repairing the damage he had somehow caused but when Elrond left the room his mother leaned forward and touched him gently on his arm.

His mother...how good it was to say that, how wonderful to see her face, to see her whole. He reminded himself that she was healed, Valinor had worked its magic on her, she in no way resembled the mother he had last seen when they put her on the ship to sail. It must be true then, Valinor was what they had believed it to be. It was not Valinor that had failed Legolas. Why though would his mother be healed but Legolas left suffering?

"Be careful with Legolas, Elrohir." She said softly.

"What do you mean?" He wondered why she concerned herself with Legolas, she had never met him in Arda.

"He has a long road to travel. You should treat him gently."

"Of course! I only go because I care, I need to fix this." He had thought she would approve of him trying to repair any damage he might have done.

"It may not be as easy to fix as you think. You should make sure you have the will to see this through." She watched him through solemn eyes.

"Yes! If I say I will do something then I will do it." He was indignant, did she not know him at all anymore?

It was as if she read his mind.

"I do not doubt your character my son but it is a hard task you set yourself and you will do him even more damage if you can not persevere. Tread carefully Elrohir, that's all I ask of you."

He was eager to get away so he was agreeable to make her happy. Now that he had her back he wanted her to be happy always.

"I will be careful Mother I promise."

Perhaps he did not think on her words as carefully as he should have.

Legolas was nowhere to be seen when he was met by Thranduil and at first he thought his father had been wrong and he had made a pointless journey.

"I was hoping to see Legolas, I have something for him." It was not a lie, he had bought Eldarions letter.

"I will warn you he is not in the best mood for company." He was not sure if Thranduil was giving him a friendly warning or scaring him off. It was so hard to tell with him. Valinor seemed not to have changed him a bit.

He decided at least some honesty was the best option to take.

"My father has told me of his concern for Legolas. I hoped I might help."

The proud exterior of Thranduil collapsed in front of him as he watched and the King sank into a chair, he looked tired, worried, forlorn.

"If you can help I will be grateful, but I am afraid you will find yourself unsuccessful. It is as if Legolas does not want to be helped. I am out of ideas. He comes to me to aid him but then he accepts none of it. I fear for him."

He was alarmed, it could not be as bad as all that.

"This is Valinor! No harm will come to him here."

"It already has."

That made no sense to Elrohir and he put it down to the irrational worry of a father. Eventually being in Valinor would heal Legolas, he knew it.

His confidence wavered when he saw him. He did not know what he had expected but it was not this. He was pale and drawn, a look of shock flashed across his face at the sight of Elrohir but that soon disappeared behind a wall of stone. Legolas was not happy to see him. Even the offering of Eldarion's letter did nothing to crack the cold, hard facade. Still he stayed, he would not allow Legolas to push him away. He had promised his mother he would persevere and so he would. He could not bear her looks of disappointment if he returned so soon.

Thranduil suggested Legolas show him the new settlement and it was certainly a more pleasant option than sitting, doing nothing while Legolas ignored him and so they rode for days through the forest then beyond the settlement to the more wild areas. And Legolas told him what he needed to know in a monotone, no emotion, no excitement and no indication he wanted Elrohir there, in fact he made it clear he didn't.

But he would not be deterred, he tried again and again to apologise, to break through but Legolas would not listen.

"I have told you there is no more to discuss of this." he snapped. "I do not want to hear it. I have taken your wishes on board, do not make excuses for my behaviour I do not need them." And he would stride away into the trees leaving him alone. He grew very used to the sight of Legolas's back stiff and straight as they rode and he pretended Elrohir was not there. He knew that was what he did.

It hurt, it hurt so much to see all his dreams and imaginings shattered into pieces for how could he and Legolas begin again now?

As they sat under the trees, resting the horses on their way back to Thranduil he tried one last time, desperate for a way to reach inside this cold exterior.

"I promised you I would tell you of Eldarion." He said. There was no reply.

And so he did, he spoke of Eldarion as he struggled to step into his father's shoes, how he grew and blossomed and gained confidence. Of his family, his children, of the love and joy he recieved from them, of times spent listening to stories Eldarion had told them of Legolas and Eldarion's own father while they clamboured for more. He hoped it would ease Legolas's grief to know of the happiness that existed after he left, if he could know things carried on, there was still light and love and hope.

"Stop it!"

The cry from Legolas snapped him from his reverie.

"Stop it! Do you want to destroy me?!"

He looked up horrified to see him sitting there wiping at tears streaming down his face.

"I do not want to hear this. It hurts! Can you not leave me alone?"

"I thought it might make it better...to know...he was happy, we were happy, for the most part."

"It does not help. Nothing will help this. How does at change anything for me? I will never be at peace."

He reached out towards him. How could he not?

"Is there truly nowhere? Nowhere amongst all this beauty your spirit can rest?"

Legolas at first did not answer. He started at the ground in front of him and he knew he was struggling to gather himself and his raging emotions back behind his wall of indifference. As much as it hurt Elrohir to see him weep it was better than that cold hard nothingness he had been before.

At last as he watched he seemed to come to a decision and he leapt gracefully to his feet. He had lost none of his grace and beauty.

"I will show you." he said, "follow me."

And so they left the track and entered an unpopulated part of the forest and Legolas brushed the leaves as they rode by with his hands. It was almost as if they bent to comfort him.

"I have shown no one this." he said as they paused at the edge of a glade. "It is where I come when I cannot bear any of it a moment longer."

The glade opened up into a bay. Surrounded by forest trees, then open grass running down to the pristine beauty of a sandy beach and chrisp sparkling water, white caps on the smallest of waves as they lapped at the edge of the sand.

"The trees and the sea." Legolas said, "The best of both my worlds."

"Surely you need the sea no longer?"

"Oh I need it." He replied, "in the depths of my soul I need it. It lifts me up, how can you not see the joy in it? It is my only joy."

And he smiled, for the first time in days he smiled. That smile lifted his heart when he saw it, then Legolas was gone, disgarding clothes as he went, diving into the waves he disappeared beneath them. Elrohir held his breath. Where had he gone? He was such a long time under the water. But he emerged, dripping wet and laughing...laughing!

"Come and join me Elrohir, How can you resist this?"

He was bemused, he could not understand this. Why did this intoxication with the sea still remain? What strange magic was this?

How could you have the sea longing when you had reached the other side?