What am I going to do with myself!? This my friend is the second to last chapter for this little story concoction of mine. Yep only one more to go and I feel so emotional! Not ready to let the baby of mine leave the nest. But when one door closes another one opens and you know me! I'll think of something to fill the void, always do!
But until then. Please enjoy the newest chapter and prepare yourself for the last and final update coming up remarkably soon!
Thanks so much guys! You are the best!
Note For Review's :
So much love. So much love to each and every one of you!
Chapter Eighteen
Secrets
How could such a moment of pure and unbelievable joy be dulled by such a trivial thing as stairs? Tired but trying to remain optimistic Kagome eyed the vast pillar of concrete steps she currently forced herself up.
Her light denim jacket covered arms wrapped securely around Yasha's sleeping form as she eyed the slow approaching tip of the elevated hillside.
It hadn't been that long since she had walked this exact same pathway that led directly towards her family shrine. But, it certainly felt like it had been. Already her legs beginning to burn with the strain such constant exertion was causing.
Then again she had to count her blessings she was even experiencing this sense of freedom at all. Being confined to the hospital for the past few weeks had been beyond draining. She was completely over doctors and their charts and their endless questioning. Honestly she felt as though she and Yasha should have been discharged days ago. Though she was fairly certain why their leaving had been delayed. No doubt an overbearing dog demon behind the intrusion. Again.
Sighing agitatedly Kagome shoved the thought away. She wasn't letting Sesshomaru ruin her otherwise decent mood.
She had enough to focus on with the realization she wouldn't be bringing her son home to the home she had been so proud of securing. But one she thought she wouldn't be returning to anytime soon.
"Nothing is ever easy it?" Kagome sighed under her breath while taking another draining step.
"You're telling me." Kouga groaned in Kagome's shadow while he tried to balance a basic mountain of baby supplies the priestess had accumulated while in the hospital.
Who the hell made car seat carriers this heavy? Or gift baskets for that fact? It felt as though the damn thing was stuffed with bricks and not diapers!
"Look on the bright side. The carpenters said they would be completely done by next week." Kouga added making his way beside Kagome on the wide pathway.
He had paid to have his best men repair Kagome's damaged home until every single board was re-done and every trace of the horror she had suffered hammered away.
In the meantime on their last night together before being discharged he had offered the comforts of his own home. Though he knew all to well it wasn't exactly the ideal surroundings for an infant.
Echoing stone walls. God, he could already feel the restless nights. But he would have tolerated it without a second thought. But Kagome had been insistent on returning home to the shrine if no where else.
So like always he abided.
"So until then. Home sweet home hum?" Kagome asked eyeing the juggling wolf demon to her side.
"You got it." He smirked behind the swaying tower of baby gifts and luggage.
Kagome eyed the wolf demon gratefully. These last few weeks had virtually flown by with him at her side. He just seemed to make everything so much easier. Helping with Yasha, lightly but still doing his best to contribute. Though he was clearly still a little intimidated by the sleeping babe.
But watching him always proved entertaining.
Smiling to herself Kagome eyed the last step that led to the vacant shrine she had reluctantly missed in small doses.
Watching through wondering azure eyes Kouga stared at the amazing woman to his side. So much trauma she had endured, more so than most humans could ever take. Yet there she stood.
Glowing and radiant in her perfect skin looking as though she didn't have a care in the world. Even after all this time together she never once stopped surprising him.
Looking at her flawless appearance he had to remember to thank Ginta and Hakkaku for bringing her such a stunning outfit to be released in.
A light mini blue denim jacket that laid over a bright yellow sun dress with string like straps crisscrossing over her chest. The casual design matching perfectly with her tan shin high boots. All brought together by the destructively woven braid Kagome had fastened her hair into over her shoulder.
Who would have ever known his comrades had good fashion intuition?
"Kagome," Kouga whispered as they made their way under the crimson ark that marked the beginning of the shrine grounds. The doorway to her welcoming home just a few short steps away.
"Hum?" Kagome replied softly while brushing Yasha's silver locks away from his closed eyes.
"I have a surprise for you." He smirked coyly and instantly Kagome felt the lax posture she had surrendered herself to shift.
"Oh no not another one!" Kagome whispered heatedly trying not to raise her clearly protesting voice. The last 'surprise' Kagome had received from the wolf demon at her side had been red, on four wheels, and subsequently had driven them home from the hospital!
It was an unbelievably sweet gesture his explanation being he just wanted to make sure she had steady transportation with Yasha. But she had declined it all the same.
She wasn't about to let him pull anything else over on her.
"Nothing big." Kouga defended rising his now free hands up in protest as he set the pile he had maintained till this point down on the concrete beside him.
Kagome eyed the azure eyed demon suspiciously. She smelled a lie.
Kouga smirked wolfishly before walking forward towards what she thought would be the locked front door of her home.
But instead the wolf demon gripped the handle turning his back towards the house so his eyes met the staring priestess reaction full force as he slid the door open easily.
Kagome didn't necessarily understand the gesture. That was until she watched a lone curved figure emerged in the doorway staring at her lovingly with a pair of hazel eyes that exactly matched her own.
Kagome blinked in disbelief as the female figure stepped fully out of the house to stand just feet before her motionless body.
A sharp intake of breath and instantly Kagome watched as her eyes hazed over with thick tears. Her trembling hand cupping over her parted lips to keep her from total sobbing.
"M-Mom?" She whispered.
"Oh Kagome!" Mrs Higurashi sobbed as she sprung forward rushing towards her equally as emotional daughter. Rushing to her side before taking both the shivering priestess and sleeping infant in her arms.
It wasn't a moment later that two more equally as ecstatic figures flooded from the house to join the joyous reunion.
"S-Souta! Grandpa!" Kagome cried holding onto her family for dear life. Completely disbelieving that this moment was actually happening!
Kouga watched the teenage boy and elder man join Kagome's mother all standing with arms draped around the now totally sobbing priestess. Cradling her to them as if they hadn't seen her in year, which in all actuality they hadn't.
Contently he leaned against the outer wall of the shrine to his back. Alright, maybe this surprise had been a littler bigger than he originally thought.
It hadn't exactly been easy tracking the constantly moving family down. When they went on vacation boy did they dedicate themselves to it.
But the endless man hours not to mention constant phone calls and funds had been worth it in the end. Seeing her like this, tears and all. He knew. This had meant the world to her.
Which in turn meant the exact same to him.
"You know what I was thinking?" Ginta asked staring up and the blacken sky. Dulled only by the rich humming of the thousands of city lights carpeted out before him and the Mohawk haired wolf demon at his side.
"Do tell." Hakkaku suggested sarcastically as he adjusted his sitting position on top the flatten skyscraper roof he and Ginta had scaled.
"The city isn't that bad?" Ginta shrugged watching the constant flow of traffic running like a vast river beneath them.
Hakkaku eyed the darken sky. He had a point. The country was wonderfully peaceful, clearly a lot less chaotic than the city. But that was just it. Nothing ever did happen. Here, they at least had a vast amount of amusement to keep themselves occupied.
Not to mention here, they actually seemed to have a purpose.
"So what do you think?" The cropped hair wolf demon asked with a shrug of his shoulders.
Hakkaku smiled to himself. Maybe a change of scenery would do the two of them some good? Another half decade long vacation would be appreciated.
"I think we could use some time off." He smiled.
Ginta chuckled to himself as he threw himself back to face the vast darken space above them.
"Exactly." He agreed.
The air smelled like rain, a relaxing fragrance Kouga was apperceive for as he stood silently over the long stairway leading down back to street level.
The last few hours he had gotten quite his fill of overwhelming scents. Be it the bountiful feast Kagome's mother had prepared or the scented 'holy' oils Kagome grandfather kept feeling the need to splash him with.
The codger must have been a little senile. Then again, at least the old priest was easier to take than the absent priestess younger brother. Young adult as he was, he was incredibly inquisitive. Kouga must've answered at least a hundred questions the wide eyed youth had thrown at him.
No wonder Kagome's house seemed so tranquil without the incredibly lively family around. They seemed to bring the place back to life.
Now they had just added a infant to the mix. A combination Kouga was a little eager to distance himself from. Having a large family had never been something he had grown accustomed too.
For the longest time it had always been him. Ginta and Hakkaku sure, but any other source of distant relatives were basically non-excitant.
But this made Kagome happy, that was all that mattered to him.
So for now he would just enjoy what little peace he was receiving out here in the late night air. Letting his thoughts clear and his mind sort out the things that laid ahead of him.
No matter how unpleasant he knew they would undoubtedly be.
"Well, its official." Kagome announced as she came sauntering out of the buzzing house hold wide eyed and smiling.
Kouga turned to the approaching priestess noticing her son was no where to be seen as she sealed the door closed behind her.
"I will never be able to leave this house again. At least, not with Yasha." Kagome joked gesturing back towards the house where her baby, who she had barely gotten to hold since introducing her mother to her first grandchild rested.
"Someone getting a little greedy?" Kouga smirked intuitively.
"Lets just say. I might have to start calling him my brother instead of my son." Kagome giggled lightly. Given the opportunity she was certain her mother would adopt the silver haired infant in an instant.
It was comforting to know that Yasha was so undeniably loved by someone other than herself. It was obvious every member of her family felt the exact same.
"Damn the luck." Kouga shrugged, missing the little tyke already.
Kagome bumped Kouga shoulder with her own as she leaned against him appreciatively.
She had barely gotten to express her gratitude to the wolf demon for orchestrating this incredible endeavor. She would never be able to tell him how much this had all meant to her. To know she once again had to support of her family to rely on.
But she was certainly willing to try.
"Come back inside with me? I'll make us some tea." Kagome asked sweetly taking the wolf demons hand in her own as she began to walk back towards the house the two of them had just so narrowly escaped from.
"Tempting." Kouga admitted as he gripped Kagome's palm tighter in his own forcing her to stop only a step away from him.
Her hazel eyes instantly turning to meet his narrow azure orbs.
"I actually have something I wanted to talk to you about." He stated calmly skimming a thumb over Kagome's knuckle before releasing her hand gently.
"Okay. What is it?" Kagome questioned crossing her arms over herself trying to fend off the lingering cool air that invaded the thin fabric of her dress.
"I-" Kouga began reluctantly a little hesitant to put his request into words. But, inside he knew this was a long time coming. And it needed to be done. For both their sakes.
Kagome watched the clearly withdrawn wolf demon with concern. Whenever he acted this way, it was never anything good. And instantly she found herself on the defensive.
But her rising temperament was suddenly halted by his next statement.
"Do you mind coming with me? Just for a few hours?" Kouga asked smoothly. A calm pleading tone that seemed so unlike the brazen wolf demon she knew and cared for.
Kagome shifted on her boot covered heels. It was an odd request, especially this late at night. But then again Kouga rarely ever asked things of her. And after doing such much for her these last few weeks how could she possibly refuse?
"Okay." She agreed, she would have to explain a thing or two to her mother before departing but other than that she would comply with whatever the wolf demon standing before her had planned.
"I'll be right back." She added turning from him to head back towards the house a few quick steps and she was vanished from sight with the promise of returning.
Kouga breathed deeply before turning his attention and sharpen eyes back towards the blacken sky looming over him.
Gods above give him the strength to overcome what he knew was coming, and coming all to soon.
He inhaled deeply. Maybe this time they'd actually listen.
Sharp intensely focused amber eyes stared icily at the team of a dozen equally spread out suit dressed figures rounding the sharp glass table lined out perfectly around the spotless surface.
Each holding a vast pile of leather folders compacted with tightly bound documentation of the meeting that was currently transpiring.
"The transactions my lord will take some time to complete." One grey faced man admittedly timidly towards the emotionlessly staring dog demon sitting at the head of the on going conference.
"I except everything finished and sealed by the days end." Sesshomaru demanded coldly not a hint of hesitation in his harden tone.
An uncomfortable hush falling over the vast accumulation of lawyers, bankers, and accountants gathered out before him.
"Lord Sesshomaru, a dealing of this magnitude-" One cropped hair lawyer began but one glare in his direction from the silent staring dog demons merciless gaze cut his sentence all to short.
"Gentlemen. This conversation is in no way a negation. Everything I have said, I will see done. Or I will eagerly find more qualified applicants who wont disappoint. Am I understood?" Sesshomaru asked lowly, eyeing every single soul sitting petrified in his presence.
He would admit he didn't necessarily see this meeting going smoothly. The clarification of one's will never did go over flawlessly. No matter the funding behind such a delicate matter.
Though he had every confidence in his assembled team. He would see every single cent, every land, every owning, and holding held in his name passed directly towards his heir.
In the unlikely event of his death, the last surviving member of his family would be well provided for if nothing else.
Now all he had to do was ensure the current caretaker of such a precious life, accepted such a generous offering when the time came.
Though he highly doubted when dealing with a certain unpredictable raven haired human, anything would be simple.
Of that he was deathly certain.
Soft high rising grass tickled Kagome's shins as she walked deeper into the gray clouded forest. Small droplets of lingering water sliding across her skin with a lingering cooling sensation.
Grateful Kouga had thought a head to this very situation. Adjusting the clear plastic umbrella she held tightly over her head as she shadowed the surprisingly deathly silent wolf demon before her.
When Kouga had asked her to accompany him away from the shrine she hadn't really expected this. To be taken out to the game reserve she had visited all that time ago.
Silently the wolf demon had driven the two of them through a better part of the night until the extremely early morning hours of the day began to shift the sky from an endless black to a darken grey.
Were it not for his hand never leaving hers the entire deathly silent drive, she would have thought much worse of and already dreary situation.
Blinking away her exhaustion Kagome continually followed after Kouga's unprotected form. Noting the rain droplets that had collected in his raven hair to roll down his leather coated back.
She was beyond tired but still she trudged on after the stiffen demon before her. Hoping that whatever it was he was guiding her to wasn't that much further away.
She already felt as though they had walked for several miles, in fact she was sure of it considering the aching in her boot covered heels.
Secretly Kagome wanted to ask just what Kouga was searching for out here, but she felt as though it wouldn't be well advised.
After all she couldn't ever remember the wolf demon being like this ever before. So deathly silent and highly focused on the nonexistent trail ahead.
It was almost as though he had a perfect road map laid out in his mind as the two of them traveled further and deeper into the towering trees above.
Kagome was beyond patient waiting and trailing after Kouga without so much as a word in hours, but she wasn't entirely sure why she abided so timidly.
Maybe it was because being out here. It felt almost calming, like she had lost the ability to feel any sort of emotion besides understanding and tranquility.
She didn't know what it was about this forest, it almost felt. Serene. Unworldly.
Like she wasn't even walking in the future anymore, but strolling through a window towards the past. When the world surrounding her now use to encase not just a small part of the country but the entire cotenant.
Tightening her grip on the rain coated umbrella handle Kagome walked closer behind Kouga. She didn't know what he was leading her too. But she would follow.
At the thought she watched the wolf demon before her shift turning slightly to the right and gesturing for her to follow, which she did silently.
She trailed his every earth sunken step, until finally after what felt like an eternity the thick forest shrouding them parted into a soft clearing. The first she could remember seeing for miles upon miles of walking.
The grass was trimmed perfectly maintained and lined with dozens upon dozens of flowers planted all around the small open field. Not just any flowers but beautiful flawless lilies and irises.
It was breathtaking.
Kagome eyed the unbelievably serene surroundings now encasing the two of them.
Was this place a garden? It certainly seemed to be maintained as such, were it not for the one seemingly out of place structure centering the beautifully magnificent area.
Two large stone carvings placed directly in the earth where the flowers were at their at most thickest. Round in form and polished to utter perfection. Each rock purposely coiled in lush green vines ripe with snow white flowers, a kind Kagome had never seen before.
But found utterly beautiful all the same.
Wordlessly Kagome watched as Kouga almost hesitantly led her up towards the large decorated stone ovals. Hearing him take a shaky composing breath the moment he did so.
"Kouga?" Kagome whispered quietly. She didn't know what had overcome the wolf before her, but it was strong and the aura radiating off of his broad form could be clearly felt.
It was thick and almost pierced her chest with its haunting cast. It felt like…sorrow.
Silently Kouga approached the sparkling monuments until he stood overshadowing the perfect orbs. His azure eyes hidden from sight from the dampness of his raven locks hanging partially over his handsome face.
A lone droplet of crisp rain water falling from his jaw to the dampened stone beneath him.
He breathed deeply and Kagome watched as the azure eyed wolf's shoulders began to tremble with what should have been such a simple gesture.
"I haven't stood here for a very long time…" Kouga whispered breathlessly. His motionless form solely focused on the glimmering boulders before his feet.
Being in this exact spot only once before Kouga felt as though he was being transported back in time. Back to a lifetime he had spent dozens of literal centuries trying to forget.
His chest ached, his heart pounded. His entire world seemed to be crashing with the mere realization of the place he was now forcing himself to stand.
Kagome slowly approached the stone like wolf demon until she stood just at his back. Her bright hazel eyes staring at the strange carvings before the both of them in silent confusion.
She didn't understand. This place? What was it. Why did it feel so…heartbreaking?
"This. This is where my past is buried." Kouga breathed unmoving as Kagome shifted hesitantly behind him.
At the mention, Kagome froze.
Kouga's past? She had wondered about it so many times she had literally lost count. Yet, every time finding the will to ask. Being instantly repelled by his silent anger and refusal to even allow a glimpse into what once was.
Even now she could vividly recall the countless times he had almost driven her completely away at the mere mention of it.
But, now? Now he was willing to let her in? She didn't understand it.
How could such an unbelievably taboo subject be dwindled down to this? To this place?
To two beautifully sculpted stone monuments?
What was here?
The question burned on her tongue. But the moment she truly looked at the carvings laid before them, taking in their perfect shape and the pure aura they radiated.
It was brief thought one that almost slipped by entirely. But it didn't it lingered. Lingered and illuminated a dark possibility she hadn't thought to even consider before.
The truth, the realization…
It rocked her to her very core.
"Graves?" Kagome asked herself.
She turned towards the unmoving demon before her. Watching him, feeling the almost overwhelming sadness pouring from his harden form.
God, she felt like she was drowning in it. In his clear haunting sorrow…
"Kouga," She breathed almost afraid her voice might break the wolf demon standing before her down further than he was already crumbling.
"Who's graves are these?" She whispered her hazel orbs softening to a darken shade of molten chocolate at the almost fearful question she had just forced herself to ask.
Empty and in the most hollow demonically manner possible Kouga smirked to himself. His soften pure azure gaze hidden under his relentlessly black locks.
After a light lingering breath, his worlds filling the air in a lasting haunting whisper.
"My families." He breathed.
"I still cant believe I'm an uncle!" Souta chimed as he eyed the wriggling bundle that currently occupied his mothers arms from their resting place on the sunken in sofa.
"A blessing. To be here to become a great grandfather. Even if it to a partial demon…" The grey faced shrine priest grumbled from behind his crinkled newspaper.
Mrs. Higurashi smiled down at her now fully awake grandson. He was everything she had ever imagined. A perfect resemblance to his father.
Even the ears that currently wriggled on top his silver lock covered head.
She was honestly having a difficult time not pinching such adorable little feature. But, she decided against it seeing as she wasn't quite ready to put up with the fuss it might cause.
After all she was far to happy just sitting here staring at the precious new addition to her family. She had officially decided she and her family would never be going on vacation again.
That apparently missed a great deal once they did.
And being here now. She promised herself. From this point on she would be here for every single milestone her grandson had yet to come.
Silently Kagome felt her entire world shift, the cosmic weight of the two short words the wolf demon standing motionlessly before her sending a tremor through her entire unbreathing core.
This wasn't possible? What Kouga had just said…it couldn't have been real.
Its just couldn't be.
Forcing air into his lungs Kouga took a hard intake of breath feeling his entire body quake the moment his exhaled. This pain…it was the exact same as it was all those centuries ago.
All his years of self numbing and unforgiving destructive behavior doing absolutely nothing when faced with the sole revolving source of his unrelenting and down right haunting pain.
"For over five hundred years…" Kouga's whispered breaking the unrelenting silence between himself and the physically frozen priestess at his back for the first time since revealing his most guarded secret.
"I've avoided this moment." He confessed.
Kouga felt a stream of cool rain water that had collected in his raven locks until this point begin to cascade down the badly scarred bronze skin of his jaw and neck.
"Avoided reliving it all." He breathed lowly. The memories, they were just as vivid as they had ever been. Just as cold and unforgiving as he always knew they would be once faced again.
"But no matter how hard you try…you cant escape your past." Kouga whispered. Knowing full well he had done exactly that for the past centuries he had bitterly endured.
He had tried every mind numbing substance this colossal world had to offer. Traveled to the deepest darkest pits of hell on earth he could find to try and bury himself alive in the blacken decay.
Yet, nothing had worked. Their faces…they were as clear as they always had been.
Eventually over the slow endless span of time he had managed to close those haunting memories off in the darkest part of himself. Shove them into the deepest part of his mind never to be revisited.
Until now.
The walls he had built inside his mind were crumbling and the weight of what he had upheld for countless years was coming down, and it was destroying virtually everything in its wake.
Knowing this wouldn't end until he spoke what he had held inside himself for so very long out loud. He forced himself to carry on.
"After Naraku's defeat. I returned to the eastern mountains." He whispered making himself think back to the last time he and Kagome had interacted in the past.
When he had said his farewells to her on that hillside…he remembered…he could even see it now that endless blue sky and warm sun basking over the two of them.
"I ruled the territory as alpha for years." Kouga continued returning himself to the point in time he had let his life move forward after his greatest enemies defeat.
"Until eventually, I agreed to honor an arrangement made decades before." He whispered lowly.
Kagome watched the stone like demon before her, her small hands tightening on the plastic rain shield in her grasp out of pure intensity of what he might say next.
"Ayame and her clansmen descended from the north. And, shortly afterwards she became my mate." The azure eyed wolf breathed his mind slowly traveling back to that oh so brief moment.
"Those years-" He whispered. He could see them all so clearly. The happiness he had once felt, all the love and warmth he had taken for granted.
"They were brief…But-" He stammered almost losing the will to go on from the raw unforgiving emotion this was beginning to bring out of him.
"I was happy." He confessed.
He and Ayame had never had a perfect relationship. They were either screaming at the top of their lungs in all to common disagreement, or unable to keep their hands off each other in the enthrallment of passion.
Being with her, that auburn haired wolf. He had never felt more alive, or more in love.
They fought, they laughed, they lived.
She had been his…everything…
"I never thought I could love anyone so…damn much." He admitted. Those jade eyes still haunting him even as he stood here hundreds of years away from such an unforgettable image.
Kagome closed her eyes lightly feeling what Kouga shared all to vividly. She had felt it all. Whenever Inuyasha had looked at her. She had felt the most crippling of all emotions…loved.
"Years fly by when you're like that. When you're naïve." Kouga relented remembering just how many blissful moment he wished over a thousand times he could relive just once more.
"As time went on-" Kouga continued remembering just how quickly the seasons began to roll by like days. The world around them beginning to change but themselves staying exactly the same.
"Soon Ayame became pregnant." The azure eyed wolf breathed his voice nothing but a whisper on the dying rain scented air.
Kagome felt her heart thud hard in her chest at the admittance. Her breath hitching in her throat and her head begin to spin at the shocking realization.
Kouga…had a child?
"After that I became obsessed with expanding the territories. I drove my army hard across the mountains and into the surrounding lands. Something I had never done before. While Ayame was left to safe guard our child and the east." Kouga remembered the endless months he had gathered his entire vast force. Invading unsuspecting land to quickly conquer and rule as his own.
In a short amount of time he had become a country under himself.
"I wanted so badly to carve out a future for my heir. A legacy they could be proud of. An empire they could rule and pass down to children of their own." Even now Kouga could still see his youthful brazen self. Uncaring of the consequences of his selfish actions.
"I was blinded by that desire. That greed. So much that I didn't even notice how far my ambitions were taking me from home." He confessed. How much blood shed had he left in his wake? How much misery and suffering had he caused all for the sake of that consuming want?
"I was camping on a northern front. When I first received word that Ayame had fallen ill." Kouga said coldly. All to haunted by the night a messenger had come in to his tent in front of his entire council of generals and fellow supporters.
"I sent every healer under my rule back to the east to care for her. With the promise that she would be alright. But I stayed. I didn't want to lose the strong holds I had broken down. The lands I had fought to cease control over." He admitted brokenly. How selfish he had been. How stupid and down right blind!
"It wasn't until after I fortified my armies position that a more dire message arrived." He trailed off darkly. His hidden azure eyes ghosting over with something dark, something haunting…
"Ayame was days away from giving birth. And in no better condition." Kouga breathed.
Kagome felt her blood run cold and her heart begin to ache. No, this couldn't be how it ended? Kouga he hadn't…he hadn't lost-
"I abandoned my campaign. I rushed back to the east as fast as I possibly could. But when I finally arrived home-" Kouga's breath hitched and his body trembled.
His sharpened orbs glaring out from under his sunken tresses to the only memento he had left of the family he once had. The hard inhumanly sorrowful glare mirrored perfectly in the smooth stone to stare directly back at him.
"Ayame gave birth to a girl." He cried tearlessly. Even now he could still see her. Still feel her dark auburn hair under his fingertips, her smooth cold porcelain skin…
"But they were both to weak. To frail…" Kouga's voice was breaking and his body felt as if it was doing the same. The feeling of his heart being ripped out of his very chest just as familiar as it had been that day.
"My daughter was gone before I even had the chance to hold her. To see her smile…to hear her cry." Kouga whispered.
Hot tears rolled down Kagome's cheeks as the umbrella she had clung to until this moment fell away. Her hands cupping over her parted lips to stifle the utter sobs she knew were building.
All this time she had never known…
What Kouga had lost…what had been taken…
"Ayame…" Kouga breathed in a broken whisper.
Remembering all to vividly the face of his beautiful mate. Even in her last moments, she had been so…god damn beautiful.
"I laid by her side until the end." Kouga spoke his voice breaking all to clearly as he remembered cradling his mate and daughter to his chest until the light beating of his auburn hair love had stopped entirely.
Kagome cried into her palms unable to stop the hard breaking of her own heart in her sobbing chest. Knowing this….it was crippling. It was down right agony!
"I laid their bodies here. And from the moment I watched the earth swallow them. Something inside me broke." He thought out loud, thinking back to the exact same moment his clansmen had buried his mate and daughter away.
His body may have been left behind. But what laid in this grave, was the wolf he once was. That man…had died the moment Ayame's heart stopped beating.
"I wasn't Kouga anymore. I wasn't a leader, a mate…a father…" He whispered bitterly, through bared fangs.
"I was…nothing." It couldn't have been more of the truth in Kouga's harden azure eyes. Without them, without her…he had become a phantom of his former self.
A specter left behind to haunt the world of the living with his unimaginable grief and misery.
"The years that followed, their so blurred. All I can clearly remember is the blood…the screaming, the pain." Kouga confessed.
The demon that had been left after Ayame's passing. It had consumed Kouga, taken him over with the madness of the loss he had suffered.
For decades he had cut a bloody path through the ages. Killing, slaughtering endlessly and without purpose. Just wanting to make the world around him as hollow as he felt inside.
"I was gone for a long time. Leaving only a shell that bleed behind." Those years, as horrid as they were. Still plagued his dreams at night. The absolute carnage he had created out of his unmerciful grief.
It was the most unforgivable thing he had ever done in his life. And he knew to this day still secured his worthy place in hell.
"It wasn't until Ginta and Hakkaku managed to track me down…that a piece of the wolf I was came back." Kouga said hesitatingly.
He could still remember his two most faithful comrades in their unrelenting quest to redeem their unworthy leader. For all their efforts it had earned them a face full of deep scars.
Kouga could still remember the day he caused them. The moment they two of them had tried to convince him Ayame wouldn't have wanted any of the madness he had created in her memory.
The mere mention of her name had caused the already crazed wolf to lash out.
But in the end. They hadn't given up on him…that dedication…
It had brought a fragment of himself back to the surface. But not enough to be the person he once was. Nothing could ever achieve that…
"The only reason I am here. The only reason I forced myself to survive all these empty years." He confessed slow and dark.
"Was because I was to afraid to face them again." He whispered brokenly his voice catching in his throat as he allowed these words to pass his quivering lips.
"I was to scared to see their faces. To know just how much of a failure I really am…" He trembled constantly, relentlessly.
"I never deserved them…and they sure as hell didn't deserve me!" Hot tears stung Kouga's eyes. His azure eyes sealing tightly closed as he crumbled forward broken sobs practically ripping from his throat.
This pain…he had never before let it out. Never let it escape. All these centuries he had buried it inside, hoping never to be released. But now! It was breaking out of him like a tidal wave and he was powerless to stop the onslaught of the freeing depth of his utmost sorrow!
Kagome couldn't take another moment of this! Her body lunging forward her slender arms wrapping around Kouga's torso forcefully as she embraced his back suffocating tightly.
Her tear stained face burying in his back as she held his shivering body against her own. Tears steaming down both their faces only to become lost in the hard pouring of the silently falling rain.
Clinging to Kouga for dear life Kagome eyes the gravestones before the two of them. Making a solemn vow here and now to the souls that laid beneath the darken earth.
For their sakes. She would take care of Kouga from this point on. She would love him while they could not. She would fill the void. Until the three of them could be reunited again.
With everything she had, everything she was or ever would become.
She swore it…
Tissues! Tissues all around! I have a feeling we are going to need them on the last and final chapter! Next update coming up soon guys! So don't go anywhere because we have one final chap to survive!
Thanks so much for the contiuous support! You guys have made it a blast!
