Title: When all you could do is love yourself
Author: BlackFenra
Warning: YAOI! Boy's LOVE! Read at your own risk!
Rating: Mature
Character: Shuichi Shindou (Hence the story was in his perspective of the things that happened)
Disclaimer: Gravitation is not mine to own. It's Murakami-sensei's. After reading YukixHiro pairing, I felt that Shuichi needs a space within which he could breath and cry his heart out after being betrayed. I feel for poor Shu, though I must admit YxH pairing is hot in their own right.
Chapter 2:The night of darkness
"What were you doing out there in the cold? And in the middle of the rain? I thought you've gone home?" K reverberated the questions he's been meaning to ask the pink haired pop star. When he found him in the park, hugging himself, looking lost, K couldn't help but feel sorry for the singer, for whatever battle he was in right now.
Shuichi turned to look at K, but K regretted staring at those amethyst eyes of his. They were full of... unvoiced resentment. Something that he haven't seen on Shuichi, which in turn made K cringed at the slight thought that he might have... No, that not must be it, right?
"Did that Yuki kicked you out again? My, it seems that he is of no concern whether you get sick or what or whether you are free to sleep on the streets. No wonder Tohma is on his tail lately." K went about nonchalantly, as if Shu being kicked out in their apartment was a common occurrence.
Upon hearing the name of his cheating lover, Shuichi shuddered. But unluckily for him, K noticed, which made the blonde manager concerned. The kid remained still, not one word escaping his closed lips.
"Shu? Couldn't you have gone to Hiro by now? You always go to him first..."
Hiro's name pulled Shu out of his melancholy. K was about to approach him when Shuichi dropped the bomb.
"Yuki and Hiro had sex, inside our apartment."
Silence. K's eyes widen at Shu's revelation.
Shuichi laughed bitterly. "My mistake. It was more like, they made love, not sex. I should pick my words perfectly, I see."
K unbelievably shook his head. This night is going to be hard. But there is no room for hiding anymore.
"So, you found out."
Shuichi glared at his gun-maniac blonde of a manager as he paced inside his living room. K picked him just minutes after he actually called him and brought him to the man's private villa in inner Tokyo. Just hours ago, he discovered something he think he shouldn't just have, but surprisingly glad he did.
"Taking it from you, I think you know what's going on. Mind filling me in, K? Because I certainly don't want to be the one in the muddled water anymore."
K inwardly sigh and took a seat in his leather couch, adjacent to where Shuichi was seating. But he was just staring at Shu like he won't even know where to start. Or rather, he don't want to spill the beans himself.
Shuichi impatiently scowled. "How long have you known about it, K? For you not to be surprise."
"5 months ago. The day I tried to sweep Hiro off his feet by truly yours but ended up beaten again by that lover man you called Yuki Eiri."
Shuichi inhaled sharply. 5 months. That long enough has past since he was betrayed and played on? 5 months of being led on? Damn him. How could he have not noticed? He cursed himself silently.
"They are good to be able to hide this from me, or was it me again being dumb and foolish, right? Yuki always thinks so." Shuichi seethed.
"Hey, Shu..."
Without a care, tears are starting to run down Shuichi's cheeks. K, displeased at the sight of a serious Shuichi, let alone a hurting one, is too much to bear. He could have brought it down upon the pink haired singer his set of bazookas to shut him up like he always does with his playful whining and annoying rants but this one he cannot make a joke with. He know too well the hurt and pain the vocalist is experiencing, and he isn't one to mess with a murderous Shuichi. K hurried to the kitchen where he pulled out a glass of water and ran all the way back to the living room to gave it to a trembling Shu.
"Calm yourself down." He handed him the water.
Shu who was still crying, tried to reach for the glass but his hands seems so heavy. His mere sobs now clear to K's ears.
K, unable to do what he can, approached the pink haired bubble of joy and hugged him tightly, like a father would when he tries to calm his child down. He is not one for hugs and he certainly is not good with comforting people, but he knew that at this point, all Shu needs was someone who'd make him feel he can be okay. A supporter.
In between his sobs, Shu whispered, "Why?... After all I've given him, the trust, the love... Is this too much for him?"
K soothe Shu by tapping his back lightly. "Because he can't see what you're worth. If he did, he would not do this to you at will, am I right?"
Shu clenched K's shirt and buried his face in the man's chest. "K, you know how much I love him! Hell, I could even quit this whole band thing if he asks me to... It fucking hurts!"
K is now at lost on what to answer Shuichi. He's good with children, but not the crying ones. And by the looks of it, the Shuichi in his embrace is a kid in need of love. But was denied of it. The moment he knew about the affair of one Yuki Eiri and Hiro, K knew that the one who would be most devastated will be Shuichi. How he dreaded to think about the things that is actually happening in his face right now.
After what seems to be a while, Shuichi harshly wiped with the palm of his hands, drying his tears. K, once again, reached for the glass of water and gave it to him. Shu drank it in one go and handed K back the glass. For now, at least, Shu's trembling lessened.
"So, what are you going to do now? The cat is out of the bag, but it seems, they didn't know about it."
Shuichi grabbed his hair and look wearily at K. "Ido not know, K. I feel so tired and used. And if I think about one minute more, I think I'm gonna lost it."
K nodded in understanding. It is one in a rare moment that he stumbles upon a mature Shuichi, exceptions are only when he sings and when he do his work as seriously. But the Shuichi right now in front of him was forced to grow up in a hurried manner, forced to think about his own faults, forced to accept harsh facts now served in his countenance. When K tried to look at Shuichi's purple eyes, he was aghast to find that it has already escaped its ardor and light.
"K, can I borrow your couch for a bit? I feel so sleepy..." A yawn escape Shuichi's lips. The mental struggles his having at the moment sucked all his energy, add to that the crying he did a little while ago. The scenario in his head kept on playing.
K shook his head. " I am not as cold-hearted as that bastard and even though I know YOU by now have been used to sleeping in the couch, there is no way I'd let you sleep there."
Shu looked at K."Then.."
"I have a guest room. Stay for the night." He then led Shu to the guest room and let him borrow a shirt for the night. Shu's clothes were soaked in the rain and was now in his laundry hanged to dry. K had to help Shu dressed as he was feeling wobbly and weak, add the fact that both of them missed dinner.
"Sleep well. We'll talk about more of this in the morning." K then closed the door when he noticed Shuichi drifting immediately to sleep, noticing the forlorn look of the pop star as he once again, let tears flow in his closed lids.
After prepping himself to retire for the night, K reached out for his phone and dialed one of the numbers he knew by heart.
Ring. Ring. Ring.
"Hello? Suguru here."
"Suguru? K here. Can you come to my place? I'll have you fetch."
"You're crazy K! Don't you know what time it is?" K looked at the wall clock and find that it was already late.
K sighed. "Shuichi's here."
"Eh?"
K inwardly sighed. How many times did he do that since the afternoon he picked Shu up in the park?
"He knew about the tryst going on between Hiro and Yuki."
The other line let out a yelp. "He what? How?!"
K groaned. "Look, I'll have you fetch. I'll contact your parents. It is important that we talk about this. I am so worried about Shuichi and I don't think some best friend will work now."
Suguru sighed. "'K. I'll just take a cab and head there immediately."
After 30 minutes...
Suguru headed straight to K's balcony. K instructed him when he texted him that he's arrived.
"Hey, what happened? How did he know?"
K motioned for Suguru to sit. The teen hurriedly took a seat and waited for K to answer his question.
"He saw them, when he got home. But it looks like he was unnoticed as the two seem to be so into it. Their carnal desire." K smirked at the last words he had to say.
Suguru put his hands in his head. He was totally losing his cool, and be known that he was not called Tohma the second for nothing.
"That idiot Hiro! I told him to stop seeing Yuki while Shu is still unaware of it! What now? What did Shu say?"
K looked at Suguru and back into the night sky that is filled with rain clouds. "He is benighted. But it seems he was not hellbent and never mentioned about revenge or sorts of things like that."
The look of disgust is now evident in the keyboardist's face. "They clearly didn't care anymore if Shuichi knew! They haphazardly did what they always do even inside NG and now this! I don't exactly know what Hiro's thinking anymore! This clearly had to stop or our band will be the one in the bin!"
K offered Suguru a glass of wine of which the teen gladly accepted. He needed a shot more than anything. There were clear evidence of veins popping in his head. He was not liking the situation was heading to.
"Shu cried and cried until he dried his eyes out and ask if he could sleep here. I offered the guest room. Poor thing. But we all didn't see it coming."
Suguru nodded. K can be serious and sane for once without resorting to threatening them with his humongous collection of guns and bombs. "No one saw it coming, K. But when I saw it myself, I was so sure I would sell part of my soul to undo what I saw."
K grinned. He remembered the look on Suguru's face when the poor teen discovered what his fellow band mate does during long lunch break. And it seems that Hiro is not only satisfied with food to be called as lunch. The kid puked his guts out all day long.
"I feel sorry for Shu. Sometimes, I had to admit, he gets on my nerves, always ranting about Yuki, Yuki, Yuki. He has no qualms waving in our faces how he felt for that man. But then, I see no reason why this should happen to him." Suguru's face fell and for once, allowed himself to look sad.
K understood the kid. Shuichi, in all his glory, was very hyperactive. Always bouncing about, as if he always had this energy restoration skill. No matter how tired he was, he would always not seem to look like it. But remembering the kid's face earlier made K realized how the early happenings changed Shu in a second. Now, he was almost sure that tomorrow would be a battle with himself.
"So, what's going to happen?" Suguru flicked his gaze into their manager.
K, allowing the wind to play with his unkempt hair, sighed heavily and faced an anxious Suguru. "Since he was let on unnoticed, I doubt if they would know that Shuichi has learned more than he ought to know. For the coming days, let's play it calmly. That is, to make sure they won't notice that their "secret" is now out of the bag."
Suguru's brows met. "What if Shuichi make a ruckus by punching Hiro or something like that? It's possible."
K dismissed the idea quickly. "That won't happen. I promised to talk to Shuichi tomorrow morning. We need a good plan. And I am sure that the last thing Shu needs is facing them while the wounds are still fresh. He needs to stabilize his emotions first before shifting to drastic measures in the want to get revenge. Which is most unlikely."
Suguru massaged his temples. "I don't know about that K. But if Shuichi would come out resentful, I doubt it if Bad Luck won't be wiped out in milliseconds."
K smiled sadly. "Now, come to think of it. This could have happened to Judy if I did really pursue Hiro. Don't you think so, Suguru?"
Suguru looked up to see K's chaotic expression. He looked so tired himself.
"K, you seem tired. Maybe I should come back tomorrow. When Shu's awake."
K smiled. "If you had seen your vocalist earlier, you would feel the same as me. The look like life itself escaped away from him."
Suguru shook his head violently. "I'll save that for tomorrow. Goodnight K."
After Suguru left, K stood up from his seat and returned to his room. Tomorrow, without a doubt, would be once again, long. Thank goodness he asked for a 2 day vacation.
AN: Somehow, I think K and Suguru have been very OC for a time but hey! There's no way you can joke about things like this right? What could have happened to Shu? :'(
