I walked slowly into the house…this had been…an undesirable day. I leaned back against the door as it closed. I took a deep breath…I had been doing that a lot today so I could relax. Too many revelations in less then 24 hours. I made my way into the living room…I had every intention of passing out on the couch but it was already occupied. She was the last person I expected to see today…her back turned to me and her hair tucked neatly behind her ear.
I bent down at the edge of the couch. I was about to wake her up but stopped when I caught sight of her back. Her shirt had lifted just high enough for me to see the edge of deep blue bruise. My finger lightly lifted the shirt higher and I was shocked to find that the blemish traveled to a point just below her neck. I could make out older, smaller bruises covered by that one large one. I traced over it with my finger tips and she flinched as I moved along her spinal cord.
"Hey" I whispered as she turned around to face me…a frightened look in her eye until she realized it was me.
"Hi…I'm sorry I just walked in here but it started raining and I had the extra key…"
"It's fine…I don't want this to come out the wrong way…but I didn't expect to find you here"
"Yeah…I just figured I owe you an apology of some kind" she laughed nervously…it was the same laugh she used to give when she was uncomfortable in the conversation.
"Well…I actually thought I owed you an apology…" I admitted as she sat up and I took a seat next to her.
"Luke…what do have to apologize for…" her brow wrinkled as she caught my gaze.
"For pushing you…because I treated the situation like everything was normal and perfect for both of us…more specifically for you….and its not"
"Lucas…" I shook my head…she wanted to tell me it was alright…that it was her fault, but in all honesty it wasn't. She was vulnerable…and I should have stopped myself from letting things get as far as they did.
"Peyt…your not ready for any of that….and…"
"Brooke or Nathan" she questioned cutting me off.
"What…"
Peyton's POV
It was my turn to shake my head…but it was merely for amusement in my case. "You're not gunna get them in trouble or anything" I raised a brow at him…suddenly the situation wasn't so uncomfortable.
"I…" he held his hands up in defense. "Haley…which I guess is really strange because she doesn't know what's…going on…but she gave me the same speech that everyone else probably would have." He shrugged and closed his eyes.
"Let's see…She's just getting out of a long term relationship…she needs time…this is hard on her…you shouldn't rush things…give her space…and everything else that sounds exactly that" we both laughed as he nodded in response.
"I think that about covers it" it's weird how we can just make everything okay…after everything that happened today…what I told him…how I left him…after the awkward tension between us just minutes ago…we're sitting here joking and laughing like none of it ever happened. In a way I guess its more amazing then weird.
"So…what if I told you she was right" I was still smiling as I spoke…even though the conversation was very serious.
"I'd say…I understand…and that it's okay" I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding. "The only thing is…we need to work on the whole just friends thing…cause right now I think we're more along the lines of friends with benefits…or semi benefits." He laughed as he shook his head and I joined in.
"I'd say I agree with you…but can we keep the whole closeness aspect." I questioned as my laughter subsided. We had blurred the lines of friendship and I kind of liked it that way.
"You mean with the nightly company" he wrapped an arm around my shoulder and I fell into him. "I wouldn't have it any other way…I mean why would I pass up the chance to get you in my bed" I tried to pull away but he only lifted me into his arms.
"Lucas…what are you doing" I shrieked as he spun around. I clung to his neck and buried my face in his chest as he spun faster. He stopped suddenly and started towards the stairs.
"We are going to bed…because it's late…and I'm tired" he ascended the stairs and walked into his room.
"Maybe I'm not tired"
"Maybe I don't care" he dropped me on the bed before pulling off his shirt. He rummaged through his drawers and soon threw me a pair of boxers and a t-shirt. "You can change while I go lock the front door." With that he was gone. I couldn't help but laugh at him as I changed. I folded my clothes and set them on in the chair just as he was reentering the room.
"So Mr. Scott…do I get to pick which side of the bed I'm sleeping on" I looked up at him as I slid under the covers.
"Sure" he shrugged as he walked around to the other side and climbed in. He turned the lamp on before laying down. "Night Peyt"
"Night" I whispered as I turned my back to him. The smile was slowly fading from my lips. We had done nothing but avoid the issue…not that I know what that issue is. It doesn't matter though…we had laughed everything off and pretended things we're okay. If we didn't really talk about things we we're gunna keep winding up in the same situation. In all honesty I know that the closeness we're both allowing is what makes us more then friends…I'm too scared to stop it though. If I stop it then I run the risk of losing him…I need him too much to let him go.
I jumped slightly as the bed sunk behind me and he slid his arm around my waist. "It was too quiets…couldn't even hear you breathing." He rested his head on my shoulder and his breath sent an odd yet comforting feeling throughout my body.
"Well now you can feel me breathing…see I'm still alive" I inhale deeply as I pushed deeper into him.
"Good to know" his voice was fading with each word. His breathing soon evened out the way it does only when you're sleeping. That's when I let the tears fall/they we're silent and slow…I was calm but still crying. Things couldn't stay the way they were…they wouldn't…it wasn't possible. Lucas and I can't just be friends…we don't know how. Even what we're doing right now…it's not what people who are just friends do. I cried myself to sleep…and stayed asleep in his arms. I would give anything for things to stay the way they are right here…right now. Things feel perfect…too bad perfect doesn't exists…there's only reality.
