It was three days later that he found the courage to make his way back into her hospital room. The guilt was eating him up inside. Guilt from not looking for her and guilt for leaving her in the hospital not even an hour after he found her.

"Hey…look who finally shows up again" Nathan raised a brow at his older brother with a gentle smile.

"Yeah…I couldn't quite get myself to make it into the elevator. I've gotten into the lobby about 5 or 6 times…but never to the elevator." Lucas shook his head as he moved to sit on the unoccupied side of the bed.

"You know, for people like you they did create these things called stairs. Might take a little longer, but they get you to the same place." The two brothers shared a brief laugh.

"I expected Brooke to be here"

"She left to go get something to eat, but she'll be back soon."

"When's the last time you left Nathan." The older Scott waited, but he got no response. "Nate….you should go home for the day…get some real sleep…some food…shower maybe…see your wife and daughter …come back later this evening."

"I don't wanna leave her Luke…what if something happens….I wanna be here…besides I won't be able to sleep if I go home, I'll be too worried about her." The younger Scott shifted his eyes back to the sleeping figure next to him. He had refused to leave and after an hour of begging, Diane had caved and let him stay past visiting hours. He was too scared to leave her.

"Nathan…go home. If anything happens you'll be the first person I call…I swear. You look exhausted...you can't spend 72 hours in a hospital." Nathan was about the protest when Lucas interrupted him. "I'll be here, and so will Brooke…nothing is going to happen to her. She'll be fine for a couple hours."

Nathan gave a reluctant nod as her stood from his seat. "Maybe you're right" he hated to admit it, but her knew he needed to go home for at least a little while. He missed Haley and Kristen. He leaned down and placed a gentle kiss on her forehead. "Love ya Peyt…"

Lucas watched as his brother made his way slowly out of the room. It was the first time he had been in her hospital room alone. He smiled as he watched her chest rise and fall…she seemed peaceful, untainted by the life she had been running from.

"I'm sorry I haven't been here…its just hard." His fingers slid slowly along her cheek as tears slid down his. "I hate seeing you like this and knowing there's nothing I can do about it. I can't help you, I just have to sit back and watch." His hands held hers gently as he rested his hand atop their intertwined fingers. "I'm not used to doing that Peyt. I just…I wanna hold you in my arms again…and tell you…I love you"

"She knows…it scares the living daylights out of her, but she knows." He didn't bother to look up, he knew her voice. "It's nice seeing you around here for a change. I thought you were gunna keep walking in and out of the lobby for the rest of the week." Brooke laughed light heartedly. She had seen him do it twice, but she never pushed him to go see her…she knew it was hard for him. The two Scott brothers…one too guilty and scared to see her, the other too guilty and scared to leave. "So I see you got Nathan go home…finally"

"Yea…he tried to protest…but I made him go"

"Good…he needed to get out of here…I think it was just making him feel worse being in here all day. Speaking of…how are you doing?" The sincerity in her voice showed in every word. He glanced up at her and shook his head dejectedly.

"I honestly don't know…I mean obviously none of us are doing too well right now, but I can't describe how I feel right now. I just…"

"Want her to wake up…we all do" Brooke rested a hand comfortingly on his. She sighed deeply…this was weighing her down just as heavily as everyone else. "I miss her so much…the old her. The last time I saw her really okay…it was after the funeral…at River Court. She just seemed so…"

"Happy" Lucas watched as Brooke nodded in agreement. He couldn't help but realize that she was right. As much as he had tried to convince himself over the few weeks they had spent together…she hadn't been happy, and he had known. Comfortable…at times…but never actually happy.

His head found comfort on their fingers again. He was tired…so very tired…physically and emotionally drained. Brooke too felt her energy draining, and her head soon found comfort on the edge of Peyton's bed. Neither one of them had had a decent nights sleep since Peyton disappeared three months ago, and it didn't take long for them to both fall asleep at her side.

It was an hour later when he felt the same thing Nathan had… pressure on his hand. He lifted his head and his heart skipped a beat when he found her staring down at him. Her face was contorted into a look of pure confusion as she blinked a few times.

"Hey…how are you feeling" his voice was gentle as he stood from the chair and hovered over her.

"I'm fine…" her voice was sharp and it made him lean back a little bit.

"That's good…" he replied hesitantly, his eyes still intent on her.

"Yeah…what's going on Lucas…where am I" she looked around the room…she could tell she was in a hospital, she just didn't know where.

"Tree Hill Memorial" he gripped her hand tighter. "What's the last thing you remember Peyt?" he voice lingered just enough to let her know he was worried…to let her know there was something she should remember but she didn't. Brooke lifted her head just in time to watch her best friend struggle with Lucas's question.

"I…uhhh…I went to Nathan's last night, and…I told him I was leaving Tree Hill and I stayed there for the night and took a cab to my aunts this morning. I…called him…I think…" Her two friends cringed as they watched her face contort. If she didn't remember it meant someone had to tell her.

"Speaking of Nathan…I…should go call him" Lucas dropped a gentle kiss on her forehead before slipping his hand from hers and leaving the room. They stayed silent for a good five minutes before Peyton finally spoke.

"Did I do something…" Brooke watched as her best friend's eyes quickly filled with tears.

"Ohh…sweetie no…you didn't do anything at all…Luke just swore to Nathan he'd call as soon as anything happen…we've all been waiting for you to wake up and Nate hasn't left your side for the past week so he'd really wanna know that you woke up" she was babbling and she knew it…Peyton knew it too. Peyton also knew that Brooke only babbled when she was nervous.

"Brooke…wait you said for the last week…how long have I been here." The brunette shook her head and tried desperately to find something to say. "Brooke…"

"A little over three months" she had her own tears forming in her eyes as she watched Peyton try to form a word. "I…"

"What…you're joking right…I mean you have to be."

"Peyt…" tears slipped from both their eyes…neither knowing what to say or how to approach the situation. Brooke was relieved to see the younger Scott come rushing through the door.

"oh god…" he kissed her forehead as he rested his hands on either side of her shoulders. "you're okay…ohhh" he pressed his forehead against hers as tears of relief slipped from beneath his lids.

"Stop…" Peyton used all the strength she could muster to raise her voice. She watched as Nathan stepped back and as Lucas and Brooke looked towards her with worried expressions.

"Peyton…" Nathan's voice was gentle but she shook her head.

"What happened…why am I in the hospital. What are none of you telling me" she bit her bottom lip as she shifted her gaze between her three friends. She waited but none of them spoke. "Damn it…" she reached weakly for the call button and jammed on it until a nurse came in.

"Peyton…you're awake" it was Diane that came into the room, relieved to see her patient doing better. Her smile faded though when she caught the look on Peyton's face.

"So since you know my name then you must know why the hell I'm here…so if you wouldn't mind filling me in…" she was angry and scared and nervous and more than anything she wanted to know what no one would tell her.

"Okay…you wound up here after a car accident. It took some time but we found the people close to you and let them know what was going on. They informed us that you had been in an abusive relationship and that the man driving the car was your ex. He was dead on arrival and until last week we couldn't figure out why your injuries weren't concurrent with a car accident. You…"

"Stop" Peyton closed her eyes as images of Stan walking into her aunts house filled her head. She was in the hospital because he had found her. Diane watched the young girl sympathetically…she had learned over the years that there was no easy way to break that kind of news to someone…how do you tell a person that they were almost beat to death. So she had learned that sometimes the best way was to just come right out and say it…not to sugar coat it.
Peyton had done exactly what she expected…begged her to stop because she remembered.

"I'm sorry" Diane offered her a small smile before letting herself out of the room.

"I'm so sorry Peyt…I never should've let you go up there alone…I" She reached for Nathan's hand and gave it a weak squeeze to cut him off.

"It's not you're fault Nathan…none of this is. None of you are to blame for this…" she glanced around at the other two and in room and her eyes focused back on the door as Haley came rushing in. "Hey Hales"

"Hey…we missed you" Haley scrunched up her nose causing Peyton to laugh lightly. Haley had sensed the tension in the room and the look in Peyton's eyes let her know she needed to break the ice. "Okay just cuz you're in the hospital and you're away now doesn't mean you can steal my husband from me. He's got a family you know." Haley scuffed as she rolled her eyes. They all laughed and Peyton mouthed a silent thank you to the standing brunette.

She was grateful when Lucas took Nathan's spot and took her hand in his. He gently kissed each of her knuckles before leaning in to kiss her cheek. She turned her head however and their lips met briefly before he pulled back. He was ready to apologize but she stopped him with a gentle smile. "I meant it when I said I loved you" he voice was a whisper and the only people that heard her were Lucas and Brooke. Brooke smiled before giving her best friend's hand a squeeze and excusing herself.

"Hey you two lets take a trip to the cafeteria…I know Peyton's gotta be starving 'cause I know I am." The brunette spoke as she ushered Nathan and Haley out of the room with her.

Peyton's POV

I gotta love my best friend. I watched as Lucas settled his gaze back on me and smiled. I couldn't help but return the gesture. Nothing like waking up from a near death experience to set a romantic mood.

"I love you too…but…why'd you leave Peyt." And nothing like an over curious brooding blonde to ruin it. his smile had only faded slightly but I knew it was hurting him, that I had hurt him when I just walked away from him…from us.

"Because I was still running from this place…Lucas I wasn't ready to face Tree Hill and everything in Tree Hill. I lost my parents here…all the drama from high school…I disappointed all of you guys…all the people I care about most. Tree Hill just had too much emotion for me to deal with. Luke I was too unstable to face any of that."

"But we would've helped you…I would've helped you through all of it." Something about the look on his face made me love him more. He was just so…genuine with his emotions…so caring…so willing to sacrifice everything for me. I would never be able to let him do that…and that was why I left. Because he would've given up everything and it wouldn't have made any difference. He couldn't love me out of this…none of them could and Nathan was the only one who understood that.

"I had to do this on my own Lucas. These are my own demons that I have to fight. I had to deal with everything that happened over the last 10 years of my life before I could deal with anything that happened here…and being in Tree Hill…being with all these people that care about me…that love me…it was just helping me to avoid it…to pretend like everything was okay when it wasn't…when it still isn't."

"But Peyt…" I smiled sadly at him…he was still trying and he would keep trying.

"I know you wanna help me Lucas but you can't."

"And how is running away gunna help."

"It won't…but I'm not running away…not anymore. When Brooke brought me back to Tree Hill she said she was helping me to walk away from it all…and she did and I'm beyond grateful…but walking away is only the first step…I walked away from him…now I have to face what he did to me"

"But Peyton he's dead…he can't hurt you anymore."

"But he is Lucas…and he will until I deal with it and no amount of love in the world is gunna help me. I have to fix me…and not you or Brooke, or Nathan or Haley or anyone can do it for me." I watched his heart break through his eyes and as much as it hurt I knew he finally understood.

"But I love you…" tears started to roll down his cheeks and it made them roll down mine as well. He wanted so badly to help me and I wanted so badly to let him…but being with him was like running away from this…and I don't wanna run anymore.

"I know you do" his head fell next to mine and I could feel his hot tears on my neck.

"So stay with me" he has no idea how much I wanna do just that but I'm too broken.

"I love you so much Lucas…I do…I always have and I always will but…I wanna be able to love you likes there's no tomorrow…I wanna trust you with everything I have…I wanna be scared and happy and confused and nervous and I wanna get butterflies in my stomach every time I touch you or think about you and I want all of those to be feeling I look foreword to…feelings that I get because I'm head of heals completely in love with you…I wanna be good for you Lucas…and right now I can't be."

"You are good for me…you're perfect to me."

"But I'm not in love with you" nothing hurt me then saying those words to him…I can't even begin to describe the pain that's tearing through me right now.

"But you just said…" he pulled back and looked at me with confused eyes.

"I know I said I loved you…but I can't be in love with you until I feel okay again…until I'm ready to give you all of my heart and soul and right now I just can't do that…I'm not if the right place to do that."

"Why not"

"I don't know…but that's what I need to figure out…I wanna figure it out because I wanna be with you…I remember what it was like to be in love with you Luke…and I would give anything to feel like that again. I wanna feel like all the pain is worth it for just a few moments with you."

"And there's nothing I can do to make you love me like that." I shook my head and watched his head fall dejectedly. "Okay."

"I'm sorry" he leaned down and kissed me with everything he had and I kissed him back.

"I know" he leaned in again…why did this have to hurt so damn much.

"Maybe we should come back later" We broke apart when we heard Brooke cheery voice. He wiped my tears away as I wiped his.

"Maybe you should" I joked as he pulled away from me completely. Brooke knew my fake smiles but she didn't ask. Haley knew something was wrong but she knew she would get it out of Lucas later. One look at Nathan and he knew from my eyes that I wasn't staying here…that I would be gone again as soon as I was out of the hospital. This was exactly why I couldn't stay here…it's the love and caring they're so eager to give me that makes them ignore all the problems…I'm tired of ignoring it.