I should feel okay….right. I mean, Stan's gone…he's dead…he's not gunna come banging on the front door. His stuff is out in the back alley for the homeless to grab and take far far away from here…away from me. So I shouldn't be looking over my shoulder, and I shouldn't have slept in the guest room last night…but I am…and I did. I couldn't sleep in our…my…bed…too many…painful memories….same for the couch. So I wound up in the guest room. That was last night…I made it through the first night back here…and guess what I'm doing right now…I'm sitting here watching the phone ring. Why…because I'm too scared to pick it up. So as I lean against the counter with a cup of coffee….the phone keeps ringing and I keep watching it. The first thing that comes to mind is who the hell is calling me…why do they keep calling back without leaving a message. Its probably Nate calling since I didn't call him back last night…but why wouldn't he call my cell. How does he have this number? Paranoid much. I know I'm being crazy and stupid, but I can't help it. I walk over to the phone and look down at the screen…"Unknown name…Unknown number"….yea that just makes me feel so much better. I'm hesitant , but I find it in me to reach down and grab the phone.

"Hello" my voice is small and I can just picture Stan on the other end with that stupid smile on his face…the one he gets when he knows he's won.

"Hey"

"Hey Lucas" I smile slightly as I breath a sigh of relief…not that I should have been nervous or scared to begin with.

"You know Nathan is about ready to kill you…Haley actually had to grab a suitcase out of his hands a few min…"

"Peyton…." I laugh as Nathan's frantic voice cuts in over Luke's.

"Hi"

"Are you okay…" he sounds panicked and relieved all at the same time.

"No…" I let the statement hang…I'm not sure what else to say.

"What's wrong…did something happen" I can imagine his eyes growing wider with each word and it makes me feel better…knowing that there is someone out there that's willing to drop everything and endure a nine hour car ride just to check on me.

"Well nothing's really wrong…" I bite my bottle lip.

"Wait…" I can just see the confused look on his face.

"I lied…I just figured if I told you everything was fine…you'd yell about me not answering the phone…but if I said something was wrong you would let it slide…cause I really don't wanna hear you yell at me or anything." Lie…and I'm positive he knows that…but I don't know whether he'll call me on it.

"Peyton…I'm glad you're okay…and I won't yell, even though my nerves are currently shot because of you, but why didn't you answer the phone…I've been calling you all morning. When you didn't call back last night I assumed you went to straight to bed…but then this morning when you wouldn't answer…I freaked out."

"I'm sorry Nate…why didn't you leave a message or call my cell."

"You're answering machine never came on and…I didn't even think about you cell." He sighed…he's probably shaking his head right now, upset with himself and with me.

"Sorry" my voice is light and child liked…I feel like a little kid who jus got caught with my hand in the cookie jar.

"You don't have anything to be sorry about Peyt"

"Yes I do…I made you worry…all of you. Nate you almost came up here because of me and that's not fair to you. I've been putting you through soo much Nathan…and you…"

"What, I never complain…"

"Well…"

"Peyton…that because there's nothing to complain about…I love you and you know that…at least I hope you do…" he sounded slightly heartbroken…it was another one of those moments where it was crucial that I choose my next words carefully.

"I know Nate….I do…and I love you too but…"

"But nothing…if you know that…then you should know that I'm willing to do anything for you Peyt…yes I worry about you…and I always will…I can't stop that and neither can you babe. I like worrying about you…well not really…I"

"I know Nate…I do too" He never was very…articulate. I could imagine his warm smile and it made me feel better…as always.

"Look I've gotta head down to the club…but I'll call you later…please answer the phone…"

"I will…"

"You…"

"Promise…I'll answer" he laughed lightly and I did the same.

"All right…I'll let you talk to Luke…I'm pretty sure he misses you…maybe even more than me…nah…not possible" we both laughed again as I curled up on the couch.

"I don't know…you might have some competition Nate" I joked and he countered with a sarcastic laugh.

"I'll talk to you later"

"Bye bro"

"Now when that becomes official…then I'll have some competition"

"Put your tongue back in your mouth"

"Did I ever tell you how creepy it is when you do that…especially from halfway across the country."

"Bye Nathan"

"See you later" I liked the fact that he didn't say goodbye…it was comforting.

"Peyt…" Luke's warm voice echoed through the phone.

"Hey again"

"So…anything interesting going on today"

"I don't know…I think I'm gunna try and go shopping." He didn't have to ask why I said try…he knew how hard it was going to be to get out of the house.

"Sounds good…" there was silence between us for a moment. "I miss Peyton…so much"

"How could you not" His laugh was small…he didn't wanna joke right now…that's not what he wanted …what he needed to hear. "I miss you too…a lot…which is kinda scaring me…'cause I haven't even been away from you for 24 hours yet" tears were glistening in my eyes…I really did miss him…all of them.

"I love you" my breath caught in my throat as soon as the words left his mouth. "You don't have to say it back…I don't want you too, at least not right now…not yet. I just wanted to tell you that…I needed to"

"Okay" I closed my eyes as the first tears slipped slowly down my cheeks. "Thank you Luke…" I was thanking him for understanding…and for making sure that I knew I was loved…I needed to know that…to know that I had Nathan and him…that I had all of them…and they would make sure I was okay. They would go to any lengths to make sure that I felt stable…with them I wouldn't break…they would see to that.