"So what is in that letter Brooke gave me" I looked over at him from my position on the kitchen island. He refused to let me help him clean up, so I sat on the counter next to him and just watched as he washed dishes.

"Nothing…it was her idea…something about making the surprise bigger…but if you want me to write you a letter…I'm sure I could come up with something." His blue eyes meet mine and I can't help but smile. I slide off the counter and stand behind him, my arms looping under his as I rest my chin on his shoulder.

"Its okay…having you here is better than a letter" he turns to faucet off and spins around to face me.

"Good to know" he taps my nose playfully as I bite the inside of my lip. We haven't kissed since that heated moment in Haley's bathroom a year ago. That moment would have been the perfect time for one of us to lean in…but he chose to tap my nose and turn back around to dry off the counter. I think this is his way of keeping boundaries between us…of giving me my space. It stings me a little though because I don't want the space anymore…I wanna be as close to him as possible…physically, mentally…all of it.

I let out a slow yawn as I get back on the counter and he looks back and smirks at me. "Tired?" I attempt to say no but another yawn escaped my mouth instead.

"Okay…maybe…but I'm not ready to go to sleep yet." He cocks his head to the side as he moves to stand between my legs. I wanna spend every moment possible with him.

"I'll be here when you wake up…promise" he kisses my forehead lightly before turns his back to me. He grabs my arms and laces them around my neck before pulling me onto his back.

"What are you doing" I ask with a small laugh as he turns off the kitchen light.

"Escorting you to your room…unless you'd rather walk" he started to set me down but I held onto him tighter.

"No...this is good" my head rests next to his as we make our way up the stairs and towards my room. He still smells the same. I smile as he sets me down in front of my door.

"So this is where the ride ends" I look up at him and watch a hesitant look briefly float through his eyes. I wonder about it, but not for long because his next comment makes it clearer. "So I'll see you in the morning" he wanted to, but he wasn't going to stay with me…that would be crossing this invisible line he had put between us…a line he had to draw. He could tell me he loved me but intimacy was out of the question. I can't say that I don't understand it because I do…it would be too hard for him and it wouldn't be fair of me. It wouldn't be right for me to taunt him and give him hope of something he couldn't have…something he wanted so badly….but I couldn't give it to him. Me…my heart…body…soul…all of me…he wants it all and I haven't been able to give it to him…so he learned to keep his distance and not torture himself.

I smile lightly at him and get ready to nod my head in understanding…but I stop. Its then that it hits me…this isn't like last time…or the time before that…I've changed and I'm finally starting to feel whole again. I let myself fall in love with him…that's the biggest difference of all. I wouldn't be torturing him or teasing him with something he can't have. This time around he can have me…all of me…I want to give myself completely to him. The idea of being that vulnerable scares the hell out of me…but I'm ready for it…I'm willing to risk it…for Lucas.

I catch his eye and in that moment I know I can't do this anymore…I don't want to…I don't wanna dance around him anymore…it's foolish and there's no points. "You can take the guest room" I watch him nod his head…a brief pain flashing through his eye. He turns to walk away but I grab his shirt to stop him. "But…I really don't want you to" I bite my bottom lip before pulling him closer to me. I stop with him barley an inch away from my face…I need to know that he still wants this too…that he's willing to fight for it and not just depend on me. I wait for him, but he doesn't move and ten seconds later we're still dangerously close…but still with distance between us. I fall back against my bed room door and my head hits the wood with a thud as I feel tears well in my eyes…not from any pain in my head…but from the pain that seems to slowly be slicing its way through my heart.

His hands find my waist and slide ever so slowly down to my hips…but he doesn't come any closer to me….and it hurts because I'm starting to think that he doesn't really want this anymore…that his I love you's don't hold the same meaning…that he doesn't want me anymore.

"I love you…you know that…I'm not really sure when it happened…but about two months ago I fell in love with you again…or at least I realized it…and it made me happy and scared and anxious and twenty other things all at the same time. And I've been waiting until I saw you in person to tell you that…and here you are…so I'm telling you...I am completely and totally in love with you…I found that feeling again…that one I lost and thought I couldn't get back…I finally got that amazing feeling back." I let a few tears fall from my eyes…whether his feelings are the same or not…that still felt good to say. I rest my hand on the doorknob and turn it slowly. As the door pushes open I feel myself going back with it…away from Lucas…and he's doing nothing to stop it.

As I take a step back all that's left on me are his fingertips. I force a smile as I push back tears. I lock eyes with him and I see something spark in his eyes…it's a different look then the one he's had glued to his face since we came upstairs. It isn't a look I've seen at all tonight…I don't know if I've ever seen that look in his eyes ever…and I can't place what it is. I feel his hands resuming their place on my hips and he gently pulls my body back into his. "It feels…so good to hear you say that…to watch the look in your eyes when you said it" I close my eyes and smile as he finally closes the distance between us. It feels good to be this close to him…to taste him again. We move back into my room and soon we've fallen back onto the bed. My hand slips under his shirt but he stops me. I pull back from him with a slightly raised brow.

"We haven't gone there…and I don't want you to feel like we have to…I didn't come here expecting that Peyt…and I wasn't expecting that when we made our way in here." He's got this adoring look in his eyes…this innocence that makes me smile and blush.

"I know…and I love you even more for that. I'm glad we never quite got to this point because I've never felt like this before…I want this Luke…it just feels…"

"Right…perfect" I nod my head because either word could finish my sentence. He smiles at me as he leans back in. He grips my hands and turns us so that I'm underneath him. With one hand grabbing the edge of the black dress, his lips leave mine only so that he can pull it over my head. He trails kisses from my neck down to my stomach, his hand trailing up my sides. He sits up and I help him lift the shirt over his head. His leans in towards me and stops to flash me an adoring smile before he presses his lips against mine again.

I don't think I've ever felt like this before…my hearts pounding in my chest and my breath keeps catching in my throat…I can't think straight and his lips on my neck makes me shudder. I force myself to concentrate on his belt and I quickly undo it without looking down. As soon as I have the button undone I help him slip his pants onto the floor next to my dress. I can feel my toes curling as our legs become entangled and I slowly slide one leg up along his.

He's breathing just as heavy as I am as he pulls away and rests his forehead on mine. I could stay like this forever…just gazing into his eyes…in this moment I'm perfectly content. There's no way to describe the way it feels to keep our eyes locked as he leans back in. He stares right into me until our lips meet…and I melt into this feeling of pleasure and security.

With the last pieces of clothing disregarding, he takes my hands as he joins his body with mine. His gentleness slowly becomes more aggressive…and I can't recall much after that point other than the indescribable feeling I have when I fall asleep tucked perfectly in his arms some time after midnight.