The smell of breakfast swarms around me as I roll over in bed. It takes me a minute to remember what's going on and when I finally do a smile takes over my face. My eyes open slowly as I pull myself up and lean back on my hands. I love the comfort of my bed, but the idea of going downstairs to see Lucas puts my happiness on a whole new level.

"Morning" I glance over at the door to find him walking through the doorway with a tray of food in his hands.

"Morning" I smile shyly at him as he approaches the bed. I lift myself up a little more to glance at the two plates of food on the tray. "How long have you been up" I question as I take notice of the two full plates of food.

"About an hour" he shrugs towards me after he sets the tray down.

"You could've woken me up" I bite the inside of my lip but he just shakes his head and waves me off.

"Now how am I supposed to surprise you with breakfast if you're awake." He raises his brows at me and I just roll my eyes. I watch as he leans in towards me, but before he can close the distance I lean back and place my hand over my mouth.

"Umm…hold that thought" I flash him a coy smile as I lift myself out of bed and let his shirt fall to my knees. I saunter into the bathroom and approach the sink. I grab my tooth brush and am slightly surprised to see him leaning in the bathroom doorway when I glance in the mirror. I feel somewhat self-conscious knowing that he's standing there watching me. I avoid his gaze as I brush my teeth simply to stop myself from blushing. I shut off the water and reach for the Vaseline. I watch him through the mirror as I apply it to my lips. There is something nervous in his eyes…his whole stance seems almost…scared. He looks like he wants to run away or something and it makes me feel a little worried. I break eye contact with him because the more I look at him the more hesitant he seems to become.

It's when I briefly pay attention to what I'm doing the I suddenly lose my breath. My eyes dart from my reflection to his. I see a hesitant smile grace his lips when I turn to face him. "Lucas…" I can barley get his name out of my mouth as I stare down at my hand… my finger….the white gold, diamond ring that's sitting on my finger.

"I brought it with me hoping that I would be able to ask you at some point…and after last night…I've been waiting to hear you say that…to look in your eyes and know that you feel that same way about me as I feel about you…when I woke up this morning, I just…it seemed like it was the right time to do it…and then I freaked and I tried to get it back off your finger, but every time I tired you moved or you started waking up…and…well here we are" I watch him laugh nervously. I can't get the shocked look off my face, and I feel my lips part slightly as I watch him kneel down on my bathroom floor. "Peyton Elizabeth Sawyer…"

I know what he says...not that I can hear him say it. My minds racing with a million and one thoughts right now and my hearts going a mile a minute. How on earth did I wind up in this position, with another engagement ring on my finger and Lucas kneeling in front of me. He's just there…looking up at me…smiling nervously. I can't tear my eyes away from him and my feet are glued to the floor even though my mind is screaming at me to run away. But my heart…its screaming for me to say yes.

"Hey…" I blink a few times after he grabs my hands and hold them gently between his. "I'm sorry…I didn't mean to freak you out. I woke up and I wasn't really thinking and then I couldn't get it back off…if you want we can just pretend this never happened"

"I can't…"

"Its okay…I understand…" he's trying to seem fine…but I can see in his eyes that he's hurting now.

"Lucas…"

"Don't worry about it." He stands up and I watch as he slips the ring off my finger…for some reason I can't move…I can't even blink or open my mouth to call out to him. Its when he's back in my bed room that I finally find my voice again.

"Luke" I follow him into my room and stop when he turns around to face me. "I meant that I can't just forget about it…I don't wanna just forget about it Luke. I love you…so much…but you have a life in Tree Hill…and a daughter…and I'm up here in New York. It just doesn't seem plausible right now." I bite my lip as I watch him lean in and close the distance between us. I force myself to pull away from him as I fight back tears. "And…I…I'm not ready for this Lucas…its just too much…too fast."

"I just don't wanna lose you again…I never wanna lose you. I don't wanna leave here and then a month form now find out that you found someone else and I lost my chance…again. Every time I've wanted to tell you how I feel or make us official…something…someone is in the way. First it was Nathan…then Brooke…then I tried to tell you that day you kicked my out of your room…but I realized you wanted Jake…and then it was him and Brooke that stopped me…then you left and when you came back…I thought it was finally my chance…our chance…I thought we could finally get there…and then I felt the ring on your finger…I just…I don't wanna leave and come back and find out that you gave your heart to someone else. I know that's probably really selfish…but I don't care anymore…Peyton Elizabeth Sawyer…I have to be with you…I NEED to be with you." He's got tears brimming in his eyes…and I've got tears cascading down my face.

I push every fear inside of me deep down…someplace where they won't come back…at least not for a little while. My hands find their way to his shoulders and he watches my in confusion as I push him down to his knees. I see that fire return to his eyes when he realizes what I'm doing. "I can't lose you…I won't" I close my eyes as I feel him grasp my hands again. He kisses each of my knuckles…he knows how much this is taking out of me…how hard this truly is.

"Will you marry me" I can feel his grip tightening out of fear that he took my gesture the wrong way.

I open my eyes slowly and look down at him. "Yes" I bite the inside of my lip as he slips the ring back on my finger and stand up. His arms wrap tightly around me and I quickly return the gesture, burying my face into his neck. "Please don't hurt me" he pulls away and harbors a look of pure confusion in his eyes. "Cause I don't wanna hurt anymore" he kisses away the few tears that slip from beneath my closed lids. His hands come to rest gently on my cheeks as he leans his forehead against mine.

"I swear to you…I will never hurt you…I did twice before…but I won't do it again…I swear I won't." I lean in and press my lips to his.

"Okay…" its comes out as a whisper as I watch him smile down at me. He loves me more than anyone else ever has…and I love him more than I've ever loved anyone else…that's the exact thing that scares me…it always has been the thing that scares me most about him…no one else can make me feel that great…or the bad…bring that much happiness…or that much pain.