Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy VII. If I did Hojo would be dead long before the game started and Vincent would be my birthday present.

A/N Alright as sappy as this sounds, this one is from a person near and dear, my mom. All flames about that will be used to incinerate Hojo at a later date.

Reno knocked on the door of the apartment annoyed, "hey Professor ya in there?!"

Rude watched Reno try and pry the door open before the larger Turk simply delivered a well placed push kick and kicked the door down. "Professor?"

Reno walked on the door into the place, nothing out of the ordinary except for the water on the floor. Following the trail he entered the bathroom, he nearly keeled over from the smell, in the middle of the shower there was a moldy lump of some sort of decaying body. The spiky Turk squatted down and pulled out his EMR giving the think a good jab, whatever it was it was certainly dead. Rude walked in studying the large glob.

"What is it?" Reno asked poking it again.

"I think it was Hojo," Rude replied pulling on a gas mask.

Reno gave it a few more pokes before he reeled back dropping his EMR and clutching his nose, "Sweet Shiva! What the fuck was that?!"

"Decomposing bodies develop some noxious gasses in them, you just released some," the Turk replied comfortably from behind the gas mask.

"Aww shit," Reno muttered staggering over to the toilet and vomiting.

Rude leaned over and examined the body, "it looks like he died some time ago. We'll need to get the coroners over here. Damn I wish I'd done it but no chance now." He commented pulling out his phone and calling up Tseng.

"Same here," Reno muttered between heaves.

A few minutes later Tseng, Sephiroth, and Zack stood gathered around the body wearing masks, Reno finally had enough sense to put his on as well. The coroners wouldn't be there for several minutes and it would take the Turks a while to piece together the events. The silence was finally broken by Zack, "so what'dya think happened to him?"

"Not sure the investigation's going to take a while," Tseng replied examining the damaged shower knob.

"Damn I wanted to do it," the SOLDIER sighed putting his hands behind his head. "What about you Tseng?"

"Same, the man was far more trouble the he was worth," the Turk Commander agreed.

Sephiroth smirked, "I believe Zack said it best, 'damn I wanted to do it myself.'"

Over the next several weeks the Shin-Ra Company message boards were alive with rumors and theories of how Hojo died. Ranging from Tseng's assistant "he slipped on the soap in the shower." To Rufus Shin-Ra's "someone strangled him then made it look like an accident." All the way to Reno and Zack's "Sephiroth did it." The community pool was astoundingly high, everybody in the company seemed to want in on the idea of "How'd the lunatic die?"

Finally the results came back, Tseng sighed sending out a company wide email. His assistant saw the email and smirked slightly.

According to the recordings on the security cameras and the evidence pieced together by the CSI team (with a little imagination) this is their results.

Hojo yawned waking up and stretching hearing his joints pop as he got out of bed and meandered into the bathroom. His apartment was close to his lab, one of the main doors opened into the hall, the hidden one into the lab. He liked his illusion that he lived in his lab, kept those upstarts in line. He shrugged off his test tube patterned pajamas and stepped into the shower flicking on the hot water.

He fumbled for the soap once he'd soaked his body nicely, his hand closed on it but it slipped onto the floor of the shower. Hojo grunted bending over to pick it up, but a sudden thud at the door caught his attention. He stepped forward to head for the shower door but his foot fell instead on the bar of soap. The pressure on the soap was at just the right angle so it shot out like a bullet sending Hojo off balance. The pink bar ricocheted off of the door and hit Hojo squarely between the eyes. He fell back, head slamming against the knob for the water, it impacted so hard that it smashed a crack in Hojo's skull. He continued his fall from grace until he landed on his neck hard, there was a sickening crunch as his neck broke along with a full on break sprouting from the crack in his head. The rest of his body landed spread-eagled on the tiled floor.