Prologue

I stood in the dojo, my head hanging down. I knew what was coming, I knew what had to be done. I didn't want to leave my family. I didn't want to be sent away. But I couldn't stay here any longer. What if I go completely crazy? What if I end up hurting my family? I can't afford that. I needed to protect them. I'm their leader, it's my job.

"Sensei?" I called out to my father who sat Indian style on the rugged floor of our training room. For a week now I've been coming to talk to Splinter. I talked to him about certain problems I've been having recently. Like how I'm hearing this voice in my head. It keeps telling me to do this. To leave. I can't stand it anymore, and right now? Leaving seems like the best choice, like the only way out. And just a few moments ago, I had kicked the back of Donnie's knee. I could have broken his leg, again.

"Hm?" Splinter replied and twitched his ear towards me. His eyes were closed and relaxed. He told me that he wanted to talk to me. To have a word. He asked me why I did what I did, why I harmed my brother? I couldn't answer him. I didn't. So he sighed and went to sit down to clear his head. I however, still remained standing.

"Sensei...can I asked you something?" I wondered, fixing my gaze to the ground. A wave of shame washed over me. I was afraid Splinter wasn't going to grant me access to this. What if he forced me to stay? Surely he wouldn't. I wasn't fit to be the leader anymore. Not in my condition. I'm not right in the head. I can almost feel my sanity slipping away.

"Of course." Splinter assured me and opened one eye. There it was. That look. His cocked eyebrow and one open eye that showed curiosity and obedience. Digging deep within me and practically chocking the answer out of me. I knew I could always come to Sensei with anything, and it's all because of that one look he gives us. Whenever he's searching for an answer, he gives us that look, and we tell. Whenever we want to or not.

"Well...I-I" I stuttered, unsure how to word my question. I mean, how was I suppose to? I couldn't do this? How can one ask a father to be sent away? But I had to ask it. I'm not sane anymore...at least I don't think I am. And the pain in my chests agrees with me. I just can't help it. I wish I could though. I wish I could control when and when not to fall in love. I just want Karai so badly. Everything about her I adore, her looks, her personality. I can't ignore the feelings I have. She's driving me crazy. Making my temper higher, like...worse then Raph's. I've just been so mad lately, knowing that I can't have Karai. She's practically my sister.

Splinter said nothing. Even after the long pause of silence. He just opened both eyes now, sensing something was wrong, and waited for me to build up the nerves to speak. He waved his hand over the floor and invited me to sit down. I did and now I was kneeling down in front of my Sensei.

"Master Splinter...I don't think I should be leader anymore." I blurted out. It wasn't exactly what I wanted to say, but it was a start.

This time, Splinter was taken aback.

"What do you mean?" He asked me, wide eyed.

"I-I mean, I still want to be leader. But I don't think I can." I explained sadly. I could feel the pain rising inside me.

"And why not?" Splinter questioned and stroked his long white beard.

"Because I feel like I'm not making the right decisions. Like my judgement is wrong. My brain...it feels clouded."

"I see. It is true that your angry heart seems to be persuading your brain. Over powering it and making you think the wrongs things. But my son, I do not believe resigning as leader is the right solution." Splinter shared his wise words of wisdom with me. I repeated them over in my head, studying each one carefully.

"Then...I wish to leave." I spoke clearly, though inside I was shaking violently. I tried my best to not let it show. But I knew my eyes were fearful.

"Leave?" Splinter repeated my last word, shocked with me.

"...yes. I-I need to clear my head. Sensei, I need help." I admitted finally. It took all my nerves to say that out loud. It's hard to hear your voice out loud, saying that you need help. But I know somethings wrong with me. I can't stay here.

"Leonardo...are you sure. I'm positive Donatello could inspect you to see if anything is wrong." Splinter suggested. But I shook my head. I didn't want to get my brothers involved with this. Especially not Donnie. He's already been through a lot, I didn't need him worrying about me.

"I'm sure Sensei. I need to do this." I had almost a begging tone to my voice.

"Very well." Splinter closed his eyes and looked down at the ground, as if thinking very hard on something, "I know this man in Japan. He was a good friend of mine. Go see him, he will help you."

"But Sensei won't he-" I began but Splinter cut in.

"He is very aware of the krang and will know of your form." Splinter assured me, knowing exactly what I was going to ask.

"How do I find this man?" I asked and shifted in my seat.

"When you arrive to Japan, head for the mountains. Behind the highest peak you will see a shack. He lives there."

"And what is this man's name?"

"You will learn that with time." Splinter told me and I knew better then to question his judgement.

"Sensei...when do I leave?" This questioned was burning in my mind eve since I entered the dojo. Assuming Splinter would let me go.

"As soon as you wish. If you look in my room, you will find a shoulder bag. Full of essentials you will need. You may take it." Splinter granted me access. I knew that he had prepared that travel pack for emergencies, like if the lair got destroyed or if we got trapped inside. We would have food and water. But now, Splinter was letting me use it.

I got up from where I was knelt down and entered Splinter's room. I quickly found the shoulder bag tucked away underneath Splinter's bed. I swung it over my shoulder and went back in the dojo. Splinter was waiting for me, standing up.

"Thank you Sensei." I said and bowed to him. Showing my respect and gratitude. But Splinter didn't flinch or say anything. Instead, when I stopped bowing, he took a step forward and pulled me into a hug.

"Be safe, my son." Splinter whispered in my ear and I hugged him back. After that, I walked out of the dojo. I debated with myself if I was going to say goodbye to my brothers and to Taylor. But I couldn't. I couldn't face them, not like this. I decided it would be best if I just left. I couldn't handle any sentimental moments right now.

I walked out of the dojo and started making my way to the doorway. My head was down and my shoulders slumped. I prayed that no one noticed me. But I was wrong. I could almost feel everyone's curious gaze on me. Their eyes burning my skin.

"Leo, where are you going?" I heard Raph's voice and froze in place. I was almost there, just a few more steps towards the exit. But Raph's concerned voice made me stop. Made me rethink my choice. But no, the voice I heard was slowly taking away my sanity. I had to leave, I had to get my mind off Karai.

I made the mistake of glancing their way. Sadness pierced my heart as I seen their faces of concern. I seen Donnie laying on the couch with his leg stretched out. I couldn't keep looking at them, so I kept walking. Their gazes burning holes straight through my shell. But I kept my head down and kept walking. I clutched the strap of my shoulder bag, wanting to get out of the lair as soon as possible. And when nobody else spoke a word, I left. Leaving my friends, my family, my life behind me. One day I will return. But for now, I left. Without looking back.


Welp, Prologue is done! And sorry for such a long wait, I know I said that this would be published within November but...that didn't happen. Oh well, it's here now and I hope you enjoy! Please review to let me know what you think! Thanks! ^J^