Leo
I ran on the rooftops of New York, still in the city. I was heading to the other side, to the opposite boarder. It's the closet to Japan, so I thought I might as well. I hated leaving. I didn't want to leave my family, my friends. I couldn't just leave them behind, but I had to. This voice that I keep hearing, it's slowly taking away my sanity. Creeping it's way into my brain and sending chills down my spin. I don't know why I'm hearing this voice. It suddenly appeared one day when I was sparing with Donnie. It over powered me and got my anger rising. And I hurt him. I hurt my brother.
I had to wipe away a few tears from my eyes with the back of my hand. That was the last thing I wanted to do. As soon as I hurt Donnie, I knew I had to leave. I wasn't safe to be around anymore. My temper was worst then Raph's, and it's all because of Karai.
Karai, I can't get her out of my head. Every time I look at her my heart races in my chest, my palms get sweaty and my mouth dry. I feel like I need her to breath, I feel like my heart shatters. I know I can't have her, I know she's like my sister. I know it's wrong. But I can't help it. If only I could chose who I fall in love with. That would make life so much easier and a lot less painful. If only I could control my emotions. I mean, the only reason why I get so angry is because of Karai. And when she laughed at me when I fell while fighting Donnie, I snapped. And that's when the voice came back.
I wasn't so angry that I would kick Donnie in the back of the knee. But the voice made me. It took advantage of my anger and used it against me. And then, I did it. I wounded my brother. I hurt my family. And if leaving in the price I have to pay for their safety...then so be it. I rather die then to see my brothers hurt. And I hurt them. So I left and one day I'll return. When I learned to control my heart. When it's fixed, then I'll go back. But right now, my family doesn't need me. They don't need this Leo. The Leo who is aggressive, angry and clouded. This Leo, is not good enough.
I leaped over rooftops all night, never slowing down. I had so much built up energy, so much anger. Anger towards myself, towards the world, towards life. And now I was letting it all out. Each jump I used more force, each leap I cut through the air more quickly. Tears of anger and sorrow streamed down my face as I got further and further away from my home. My family.
It took me two days to travel all the way across New York. I never rested. Night and Day I soared on the rooftops. Now I was exhausted. I needed to rest. Night had fallen once again, so I decided to take shelter before leaving the country. So I found an abandoned warehouse and climbed through a window.
The room was dark and the air cold. Dust floated around the empty room, causing me to sneeze. From the dim lights of the street lamps outside, I could just barely make out what was in the room. Only a few crates and boxes laid scattered up against the walls. Giant post connected to the floor supported the ceiling and cobwebs hung from every corner. It wasn't the ideal place to stay, but it was something.
I reached into my shoulder bag and took out a blanket. I didn't want to sleep on the concrete floor, so I tore apart the wooden crates and made myself my own pallet. It wasn't the ideal surface to sleep on, but it was better then the damp floor.
I laid my head on the hard wood surface and wrapped myself up in my woollen blanket. At least this is warm. I thought to myself as I rested my eyes. Lazily closing them shut as darkness began to pull me into a deep sleep.
Where you running to Leo? The voice called out to me and my eyes shot open. I hadn't slept even for a minute before the voice appeared. Surely it wouldn't follow me all the way to Japan. Then again, I've been told that it's all in my head.
I didn't give a response. I just rolled over on my 'bed' and closed my eyes again, praying that the voice would go away.
Hello? I'm talking to you. It continued. I sighed, knowing I couldn't get out of this conversation.
"What if I don't want to talk to you?" I countered back, eyes still shut tightly.
Well that would just be rude.
I scoffed a laugh.
Why you running away? Being a coward are we?
At those words, I snapped, "A coward?! I'm being anything but a coward! You think I want to leave?! You think I'm happy to leave my family behind?! I'm doing this for them! If that makes me a coward, then so be it. I just want to protect them, protect them from you!"
From me? The voice pretended to sound innocent then grew more serious, Oh Leo...haven't you learned? You can't run from me. You're not protecting anyone.
"No!" I screamed. I refused to believe what the voice was saying. Her wrathful tone sickened me. I was doing the right thing. I'm not doing this for nothing. You're doing this for your brothers Leo. I told myself.
Aw, for your brothers? Are you sure about that? Are you doing this for your brothers or for yourself?
I stayed silent.
That's what I thought. You're doing this for your own good will. You want to get your mind off of that girl. You want to forget all about her since you can't control your feelings. You showed weakness, you let yourself fall in love.
"Stop it!" I shouted and threw my hands on my head, trying to block out the sound. This couldn't be true! I wasn't being selfish! I'm not weak!
And mostly, you're doing this because you feel guilty. The voice let out a pleasured laugh, You feel guilty for what you did to your brother. Your poor younger brother, who's been through so much. He's had his heart broken numerous of times, shattered to pieces. Oh and what was it? You hurt your brother...that got tortured.
I flinched at those words. No matter where I went, I got constant reminders of Donnie tortured. I still fell guilty about it. I should of protected him better. I shouldn't have let him go after Taylor that night. But if I didn't, Taylor who have gotten captured and tortured by Shredder. And we would never know about it. And I knew if that happened, Donnie would never forgive himself.
Did I hit a nerve there fearless leader? Huh...what a weird nickname. You're not fearless. You're worthless. You failed your brothers. You're running away out of guilt. You can't handle the problems of the world. You're weak.
I felt hot tears begin to swell up in my eyes and threaten to come pouring out. I can't cry, not now. Not when the voice is talking about how weak I am. That's my worst fear. Being worthless, failing as a leader. I couldn't help but wonder if I'm letting the team down by running? Do I really run from my problems?
Stop thinking about that Leo. This is just what 'she' wants. This is just what the voice wants. Don't give her that pleasure. Don't be weak.
But you are weak.
Dang it! I forget that the voice could read thoughts. What is this mysterious voice I hear? Whatever it is, I need to keep it far away from my family.
I was about to reply, but the voice vanished at the sound of another voice.
"This is the place known as the place where we're suppose to pick up the weapons known as the weapons we're suppose to pick up."
The Krang! The thought screamed inside my head as I stood up with a jolt. I needed to find a place to hide, and quickly. I could hear the clank of krang feet against the cemented floor. They were approaching fast. With quick thinking, I hid inside one of the empty crates.
"Krang, what was that noise known as mysterious?" One krang bot asked another.
Dang! They heard me! I thought to myself as I tried to make out how many krang bots were hear. Apparently this is one of the krang warehouses. I counted about five bots from which I could see through the slight cracks of the crate.
"The noise known as mysterious came from the direction of that way." The krang spoke and pointed it's metallic finger in my direction.
Two krang bots started to cautiously approach my crate. I knew I had to act fast or I was going to be krang food. So I changed my position from laying sideways to crouching on my feet. I was getting ready to burst out of this thing once the krang got nearer. And soon enough, they did. One was about to lift the lid off my crate, but I jumped up before he could.
I burst out of that crate and immediately took out my katanas. I swung them both in opposite directions and stabbing each droid in the head. The krang bots sparked before collapsing and the krang went running. The remaining krang bots took out their blaster guns and aimed them at me. Pink lasers started illuminating the room.
I swiftly dodged each shot, inching my way closer to each bot. Every time I would get near one, I'd slice through it with my trusty swords. I couldn't help but grin as I fought my way through the bots, picking them off one by one. It felt good to destroy something. To get rid of all my built up anger and take it out on my enemy. To upper cut them, knocking off their heads. To kick their legs from underneath them, to kick them in the back of their knee.
I froze. I could almost picture myself back in the dojo, blind with rage as I kicked Donnie in the knee. His cry of pain echoed in my ears. I did that. A big brother should not hurt their younger brothers, he needs to protect them. I did the opposite of that.
Suddenly a sharp, burning pain crossed my upper arm. I dropped one of my katanas and grabbed my bicep. I knew right away that I got hit with a krang gun. I glanced up from my arm and glared at the krang. I picked up my sword and drove it straight through the krang. Not the robot body, not the head, but the actual krang.
My eyes widen as I heard it's dying shriek. To me, it almost sounded like a cry for help. Like all of a sudden, it wasn't an enemy that was trying to destroy me and my brothers, but an actual creature. A creature with a caring heart, with emotions. A creature that wanted to live. I had to look away when I pulled out my katana from the krang body, for I knew it was pierced with blood. The krang. They are simple creatures. They bleed. Just like everyone else. We bleed.
I let go of my katanas. I heard the steel clank against the floor. I didn't dare look in the direction of the dead krang. Never before had I actually killed a krang or anything. Seriously injure, sure. I can do that no problem. But I never kill. It's against everything I've learned as a ninja. You never kill because we always give the enemy to do what's right. But now, that krang can't. I had killed it.
I dropped to my knees, knowing what I did was wrong. Though I tried to convince myself other wise. What's one less krang in the world? It's not like that specific krang would change anything right? Besides, their the enemy that are trying to destroy my family. I'm protecting them by killing that krang. No matter how hard I tried, or how hard I wanted to believe myself, I didn't.
I covered my face with my hands. There was no hiding my shame. I'm nothing now, I am worthless. I'm a killer. And it's all because I fell in love with Karai. She was the one who drove me so crazy I began hearing voices. She's the one who caused me to run. I wasn't able to control myself anymore. It's because of her that this happened to me. That as of now, I am a monster.
Sooo...yup. Not much to say here other than I hoped you enjoyed this chapter and please review! ^J^
