'Cause it feels so frightening. My chest starts tightening; hits me like a bolt of lightening. Oh, I've tried, I can't fight it off. I've started shaking with every move I'm making and every breath I'm taking. Now I'm breaking down in your arms.
- Of Rust & Bone
Kiku drew in a deep breath before untying the shirt around his waist, shifting uncomfortably as the cold air automatically caused the wound to sting. He dropped the soiled garment on the sand before bending down, cupping his hand and scooping up some of the ocean's salty water. Chewing his lip, he brought his hand to his side and slowly and carefully poured the water onto his wound.
Searing pain ran through Kiku's body, causing his vision to dance with black specs. He curled his toes and whimpered quietly, tears stinging his eyes as he quickly poured the remaining water onto the gash.
Panting, Kiku fell back against a rock, his face pale and his body shaking slightly. Fresh blood ran down his hip from the salt water added to his open flesh, nausea churning in his empty stomach. He ran a hand through his hair, forcing his ragged breathing and erotic heartbeat to return to normal.
Kiku swallowed the rising bile before craning his neck to glance around him. Broken branches and ripped leaves littered the beach from the storm. An animal wasn't in sight and everything was still, a single breeze not even passing over the seemingly barren island. His eyes scanned every inch he could see without turning his body, searching for the familiar colour of golden hair.
His heart kicked up a beat as he saw Arthur emerge from a thick gathering of trees, arms full of various fruits such as bananas, mangos, and coconuts. The Brit smiled at Kiku as he made his way to the Japanese.
"You found food, I see," Kiku said with a light chuckle as Arthur dropped the fruit onto the rock.
"It'll tie us over until we can get our hands on some meat," Arthur responded, sitting next to Kiku. "Are you alright? You look pale," he said after studying the other nation for a few seconds.
"Ah, I'm fine," Kiku responded, giving Arthur a reassuring grin. "Better now that I'm not alone," he teased and bumped his shoulder against Arthur's.
Arthur rolled his eyes, but a smile was clearly tugging at the corner of his lips. "Right. You didn't want to be near me just a few days ago."
Kiku crooked up an eyebrow. "Yes, but you didn't save me a few days ago, now did you?" He asked with a tilt of his head, smirking at Arthur.
Arthur scoffed. "Is that the only reason you're comfortable with being around me?" He asked as he reached for Kiku's katana to start cutting the fruit.
"Maybe, maybe not," Kiku said with a coy shrug.
Arthur clicked his tongue and reached over to pinch Kiku's cheek. "You're simply infuriating, you know that?"
Kiku pushed Arthur's hand away and reached for a slice of a mango. "Let's not talk about ourselves, now," he teased before taking a small bite from the fruit.
Arthur scoffed and grabbed a piece for himself, sitting on the sand next to the rock. His green eyes scanned the horizon in front of him, each movement catching his attention. Whether it was a wave washing onto shore or a seagull flying in the distance, he would glance at it until something else stirred.
Kiku, instead, glanced down at his still open wound. He swallowed the fruit down his dry and sore throat, licking his lips afterwards. With hesitation, he lightly touched the skin that was still intact right above the gash. He winced as he felt it could possibly be bruised, but the surface of his flesh wasn't discoloured; simply incredibly sensitive.
Arthur glanced at Kiku. "Care to go exploring for a better shelter?" he asked softly, knitting his brows together as he traced the edges of the wound with his eyes.
Kiku nodded and stood up, his knees shaking before giving out. He nearly fell if it weren't for the strong arms that were suddenly yet carefully wrapped around him, as if he were a porcelain doll threatening to crash onto a hard wood floor. Kiku gazed up at the green eyes which looked back with concern deep in those beautiful and vibrant irises.
"Are you alright?" Arthur asked in a soft voice, not daring to let go of the other.
Slowly, Kiku nodded. "Arigato," he whispered, trying to gather his feet under him and keep himself upright.
Arthur bit his lip before kissing Kiku's forehead. "I'm carrying you," he mumbled against the other's skin, his lips brushing against it in a way that had Kiku shivering from the touch.
"You're not carrying me," Kiku responded.
Arthur pulled away from Kiku's head and raised an eyebrow. "Like you can stop me," he muttered.
Kiku rolled his eyes. "You are not carryi-"
His voice was replaced with a short yelp as Arthur scooped him into his arms bridal style. The pirate sent Kiku a smirk as he started walking.
"Damn it, Arthur, put me down!" Kiku exclaimed and smacked his hands against the Brit's chest, only causing Arthur to laugh.
"Not a chance. Walking around isn't going to help your wound heal," Arthur said, his feet struggling to find support in the soft sand as he carried Kiku.
Kiku sighed and crossed his arms, pouting like a child who was put in time out. "You're going to fall and drop me," he muttered.
Arthur rolled his eyes. "Oh, have some faith, love," he said softly.
Kiku rolled his eyes and stared in front of him as he rested his head against Arthur's chest, the hammering heart's beating echoing in his ear. Slowly, Kiku brought his eyes up to Arthur's face and had to bite the inside of his cheek.
He had known Arthur was incredibly handsome. Those stunning green eyes and perfectly structured face gave it away. But now, he was simply breath taking. His pale skin, almost like a cream colour, was flushed on the cheeks and spotted with dirt. He was visibly chewing on his wonderfully shaped lips as his emerald green eyes danced over the island. His tousled blond hair decorated his face, giving him a boy-like appearance that was almost too cute.
Arthur felt Kiku's eyes on him and he glanced down at the other. "What are you looking at?" he asked quietly.
Kiku blushed, but did not avert his eyes. "You," he whispered.
Arthur's own cheeks heated up with the way Kiku's eyes stared back at him. They had given up on being dark and emotionless. Embedded in those irises was a glint that sent his heart into a whirlwind.
"You're very beautiful, Asa-san," Kiku continued, reaching up with one hand to touch Arthur's cheek.
The contact made Arthur's step waver and his footing in the loose sand was weak, causing him to stumble before going down. Kiku yelped as Arthur cursed, but the Brit quickly rolled onto his back before he fell to the ground with Kiku on his chest.
Kiku laughed a little as he lifted his head. "What did I tell you?" he asked.
Arthur scoffed. "It was your fault," he mumbled.
Kiku smiled brightly and cupped Arthur's cheek, his thumb brushing the other's bottom lip. "Oh, was it now?" he asked in a soft voice, his smile turning into a mischievous grin.
Arthur swallowed nervously. "Y-yes," he whispered.
Kiku chucked and brought his lips only centimeters away from Arthur's. "Then allow me to make it up to you," he whispered back, his lips brushing against the Brit's.
Arthur's breath lodged in his throat and he opened his mouth to say something, but was interrupted with Kiku kissing him. His heart pounded in his chest, echoing in his ears. Those soft lips sent his body into a frenzy, unable to stop himself from kissing Kiku back with a subtle desire.
A soft noise of surprise left Kiku's throat, causing Arthur to groan quietly. Kiku ran his hands up Arthur's chest, tilting his head to deepen the kiss.
Arthur curled his fingers loosely into Kiku's hair, the kiss slowly filling with more lust and desire. Arthur's body shivered as he felt Kiku's lips part and the other's teeth lightly nick his bottom lip. Arthur's own lips parted and he moaned softly as Kiku started sucking on his bottom lip, his body heating up with the subtle pleasure.
Kiku chuckled and broke the kiss, staring up at Arthur with half-lidded eyes that were glazed over with lust. "You're so beautiful, Asa-san," he whispered, brushing dirt and sand off of the other's skin.
Arthur smiled and tucked some hair away from Kiku's face, biting the inside of his cheek. "I wasn't expecting that, honestly," he said softly, tracing Kiku's bottom lip with his thumb.
Kiku chuckled. "Good," he whispered. "You know, I'd never think I'd want to kiss you as badly as I do now."
Arthur raised an eyebrow. "That makes two of us," he teased lightly, sitting up with Kiku in his lap.
Kiku smiled brightly and kissed Arthur's forehead. "You're a sweet man behind that cocky pirate facade."
"Facade? Who said it was a facade?!" Arthur asked, obviously sounding offended.
Kiku tilted his head back and laughed. "Oh, relax! That's a good thing!"
Arthur frowned and rolled his eyes. "Are you done with making me fall and kissing me?" he teased again, his arms wrapped loosely around Kiku's waist.
Kiku pursed his lips as if he were actually thinking about the question before nodding. "Unless you want me to do it again," He teased back.
"Let's find shelter first and then you can kiss me all you like," Arthur said with a soft chuckle.
"As you wish, Asa-san," Kiku said. "But you're going to regret giving me the opportunity."
Night had fallen over the island.
Arthur and Kiku had found another cave, though this one was farther from the beach and much more dry than the first. Kiku, being wounded, had fallen asleep some time ago with his head in Arthur's lap and his face nuzzled into the pirate's stomach, much like the night before.
Arthur sighed, his fingers absent-mindedly twirling the dark hair that was splayed across his legs. His eyes were half closed and he stared at the cave opening with a mask full of unreadable lines. He was concerned for Kiku and why, he didn't know. Before Kiku's ship had sunk, he resented the other island nation and wanted to bash that clean and emotionless face into the nearest wall.
Now, he was terrified. No one had risked themself to save Arthur, not even his own brothers. It was... an odd feeling to know someone went out of their way to rescue him, the Black Sheep of Europe who couldn't fit in with any of the other nations.
His green irises fell upon Kiku's sleeping face and he smiled softly. Kiku's approach towards him seemed to have changed as well. After all, Kiku openly kissed him...
Arthur's lips tingled from the memory of being kissed, as if he were reliving the moment all over again. He sighed again and leaned his head against the wall, snaking out his tongue to moisten his mouth.
Everything was silent aside from the quiet breathing from Kiku and the occasional rustle of leaves from the wind. Arthur's eyes began to feel heavy, and he yawned quietly. He desired the sweet embrace of sleep, but with Kiku wounded and no knowledge of what lay on the island, resting was just as dangerous as remaining alert and awake.
A complex war started waging in the pirate's weary mind. He was supposed to hate Kiku, the representation of Japan. He wasn't supposed to feel close to him, to someone he barely knew. So how was it that the hatred Arthur had felt prior to the shipwreck had completely dissipated into...
Love?
Arthur shook his head. No, that couldn't be right. How could you love someone you once hated and better yet, how could you love someone you knew nothing about?
Nothing made sense and Arthur hated the humane emotions in him; he was practically immortal! A nation! A country! How could he be feeling such complicated and ridiculous things such as hatred and love and care and fear? Surely it was a damn curse and whoever had put it on him was pointing and laughing.
Arthur sighed and reached up, rubbing his face. "Now you're just being stupid from the lack of sleep... There is no curse," he muttered, which was only rewarded with a quiet rustle of leaves and Kiku stirring in his sleep.
Arthur brought his eyes back to Kiku's face. Wasn't it worse that he felt a caring for another man? That itself was scandal. He had already had sex with Kiku, which was risking a lot, and now care was growing inside of him. But this man... had saved him. Arthur brushed a strand of black hair away from Kiku's face as a strained smile appeared on his lips. He leaned down until his forehead was touching the sleeping nation's.
"What have you gotten me into, Kiku Honda?" he asked softly, his eyes falling closed.
"You tell me, Arthur Kirkland."
Arthur jolted as his eyes snapped open. He lifted his head, blushing at being caught talking to himself. A small smirk was evident on Kiku's face and he clearly found the situation amusing. Arthur frowned.
"Don't look at me like that. I've heard you rambling to yourself this whole time," Kiku said.
Arthur froze. Had he been rambling? And what did he say?
Kiku smiled and reached up to cup Arthur's cheek. "I think, if you just relaxed and didn't think so much, the right answer would come to you."
Arthur's frown deepened. "Meaning?" he asked in a clipped voice.
Kiku chuckled softly. "Meaning you'd know what you wanted if you didn't think about the consequences of it, or if you didn't worry about it being accepted." Kiku remembered their conversation the night before and how he had told Arthur that emotions do help getting certain things. The Japanese was curious: what exactly did Arthur want?
Arthur scoffed and glanced away. "Well, what do you want?"
Kiku brought his eyes to the ceiling of the stone cave. "I was... harsh to you, Arthur," he began, avoiding the question. "I captured you and hurt you without any real reason other than you were a threat." He drew in a deep breath. "But, you've had multiple chances to run, or even kill me. And you didn't. Then you helped me when I collapsed in the sand." Kiku slid his gaze over to Arthur, whose green eyes had found his brown ones. "I'd like to get to know you, Arthur. You have a bigger heart than you realize, and... I wouldn't mind being yours."
Arthur bit his lip and swallowed the lump in his throat before speaking. "Bold words to say to a pirate," he said simply.
"You're more than a pirate, Arthur. You're more than a nation, too. You have feelings and desires, just as I do. So tell me: what do you want?"
Arthur drew in a sharp breath. "I... don't know," he whispered.
Kiku smiled softly. "You will," he whispered back. "What do you feel when you look at me?"
Arthur stared at Kiku for a few seconds, maybe even a few minutes - time seemed to have blurred together. Without thinking about his words, without thinking about what he felt, Arthur said, "I care if you live or die. I lost the hatred I once had for you and... I wouldn't mind taking risks for you."
Kiku smiled and placed his hand on the back of Arthur's head, pulling the pirate's face down for a quick kiss. "I know it doesn't make sense; I hardly understand it myself. But there's more to us than just Japan and Britain. We're Arthur and Kiku and falling in love is okay," he whispered.
"Who... Who said anything about falling in love?" Arthur asked, the clear fear showing in his question.
Kiku chuckled. "What do you think those feelings are, Igirisu?"
Arthur blushed a little. "But... my brothers always said I would know when I started falling in love," he said.
"Some do. But usually it's complicated, complex, maddening. Quite like what we're experiencing," Kiku said.
Arthur blew out a breath. "We shouldn't have the ability to feel things such as this..."
"It's a blessing as much as it is a curse. But how else would we be connected to our citizens if we couldn't empathize with what they feel?" Kiku asked.
"So that's all our emotions are? To connect us to our citizens?"
"To give us humanity," Kiku corrected.
Arthur shook his head and rubbed his face. "I-"
"Arthur," Kiku interrupted. "I know it's frightening, but just know that I'm here to help in any way I can. As long as you'll have me, I'll be yours."
Arthur felt tears line his eyes and he brought his forehead back to meet Kiku's. "You offer a lot to someone you know little of," he whispered.
Kiku chuckled. "I'm aware of what I'm giving. But what's a pirate without his treasure?"
