I slept in the mud. I didn't deserve my nice room and I certainly didn't deserve the sleeping bag. "How could you? After you were doing so well?"
"I didn't mean to.." I said quietly, "No, you never mean to do you? It always just happens, you're such a victim. Poor you. Grow up Sinful, start taking responsibility for your actions!"
"I..I'm sorry.." "And why are you telling me? It's them you need to apologize to."
I nodded my agreement, and got up from the mud. I could've just teleported myself into the room, but it was a cold night, and I deserved to go through the chill. Cold always kept me focused in times like these.
When I finally returned to the mansion, things were...strange. Axel and Blue were acting different. It started out small, just them complaining about little things as they walked with me through the house in search of True, whining about lights being to bright, about their clothes not being right when they could just change them at will with their power, just acting like the average high-school girl.
I didn't respond, knowing I had no right to crack jokes or criticize them, but by the time I found Sue, Clara, LB, and True, they were really acting like bitches. Axel stubbed his toe and burst into tears and Blue went to go groom his pokemon's hair for them. I wondered for a moment if I'd stepped into the Twilight Zone. Why were they acting so different from-"Your fault. You've gone and made them feel weak and pointless. Selfish whore."
My heart sinks at this, 'oh no..I never wanted that..' "But it's what you caused."
I opened my mouth to apologize for the upteenth time to True, Clara, and LB, but they interrupted, too busy with their conversation to hear me..or even really notice I was there. I closed my mouth again, sitting at the table and politely waiting for their conversation to end, but it was painful. Clara and True were recounting in detail the day that he and her had first hooked up, going over every explicit detail of how my fuck up, how my betrayal of LB's trust and friendship, had lead to them fucking like love sick rabbits.
They only paused their story when LB would pause them to ask for advice, all of it pertaining to her intimate affairs with Bluet. "Do you see now Sinful?" the voice asked, "They truly have NO use for you. You don't contribute any knowledge or wisdom that Clara and True don't already have, the only good things you cause happen by accident, and you're even starting to make the actually talented and useful members of the group feel bad about themselves. So, miss destroy everything good in her path, what are you going to do?"
I was shaking by this point, because I knew what I needed to do. I took a deep breath, and stood up, taking the three pokeballs off my belt and walking over to True. He looked up at me like he was expecting something, so I guess he knew what I was about to do, though for some reason he still looked surprised when I actually handed him my pokeballs.
"Take better care of them than I did. It won't be hard to do." I said before snapping my fingers and disappearing; teleporting to the top MT. Moon. It was cold, and dark, and quiet; the only kinda place I deserved.
"Have you any idea how much you've hurt them Sinful?" The voice chastised me, "Here, take a look."
As the voice instructed, I used my powers to form a sort of window so I could see and here what was happening back at the mansion. "Why is this happening?" Axel questioned, looking terribly upset. "You said this would work." "I don't know!" True shouted, "It always used to work. I can't explain she's..she's worse this time, like it's infected her down to the core or some shit."
"Well what are we supposed to do?" LB questioned, "Is there anything we can do?" Clara added. "I could try again," Sue offered. "Maybe she just needs a trip to another fandom? She likes Undertale right? Maybe Kill la kill?"
True shook his head, looking down at the pokeballs I'd given him. Something like realization spread across his face. "No...I think I know what she needs to hear..what I need to do.." True got up, and I closed the window.
"Do you see? Even after everything you've done, after everything you've caused, they're still trying to help you be a better person, still trying to fix you, to show you the error of your ways, but you just getting worse and worse, like some kind of disease. They're trying to help, but the only way to stop a weed it to cut it off at it's roots. It's time you ended this for good. You have the powers Sinful, you can re-shape your mind and body, irreversibly change your entire being for eternity, finally become something good."
I gasped, the voice was right! How could I be so stupid and not see it!? I would always be a horrible person..but I could turn myself into something better, erase something terrible and replace with someone good. Someone not obsessed with smut and fanfiction, someone who doesn't get horny over sick twisted things, someone who doesn't get turned on at all! Someone who's mind is always, ALWAYS on their work; no breaks, no stopping, no need to feel sorry for myself. I'll never hurt LB or True or anyone else ever again, because I won't exist anymore.
I smile, my eyes tearing up slightly. It was scary, the thought of it. Not just being dead, but being completely gone from the world. I was worried I'd be too selfish to go through with it if I waited any longer, so I closed my eyes, and started building up the power for the transformation...and then True appeared in front of me.
"He's come to witness your transformation."
I smiled at True, tears streaking down my face as I began the process.
