Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy VII, Weird Al Yankovic or the song "Albuquerque".
A/N Last night I went to a Weird Al Yankovic concert and heard the song "Albuquerque". Which is a city in New Mexico in the United States for those not in the know. He was about half way through the song when the inspiration hit like, well it hit like today's death does. Ladies and gentlemen the return of my OCs Aaron, Jenkins and Kelly.
Kelly sighed looking over at Aaron, who in turn looked over at Jenkins, who rolled his eyes and glared up at Hojo. They had all been enjoying their lunch break until to their surprise Hojo had come in. It wasn't for the usual stuff, he was demanding they go and get him some donuts.
"Why do we have to go?" Jenkins grunted.
"I am in the middle of an important experiment, you on the other hand are free, and I want glazed donuts!" Hojo growled venomously.
Jenkins shook his head looking back at Aaron and Kelly, "alright let's go get some donuts, some fresh air."
"Yeah let's go," Aaron nodded looking over at Kelly.
She agreed, "air sounds nice besides Mr. Tseng said he wouldn't be back for a while."
With a final scathing glare at Hojo, the trio set off down the elevator and out the lobby into Midgar in search of donuts. They walked down Loveless Street and came to the Donut Shoppe; Aaron opened the door and let Jenkins and Kelly inside. Heading up to the counter they found the person in charge reading the newspaper.
"Um excuse me," Kelly addressed the person at the counter.
"Yeah what'd ya want?" He grunted.
"Do you have any glazed donuts?" She asked.
"Nah we don't have any glazed donuts," he replied.
"Any jelly donuts?" Aaron asked.
"Nah we don't have any jelly donuts," the guy grunted again.
"Any Valerian cream donuts?" Jenkins asked hopefully.
"Nah we don't have any Valerian cream donuts," the guy grunted again turning the page of the paper.
"Any cinnamon rolls?" Kelly asked again.
"No," he muttered.
"Apple fritters?" Aaron asked hopefully.
"No," the guy growled turning the page.
"Any bear claws?" Jenkins sighed exasperated.
The guy looked up, "I'll go check." He stood up and walked off, the trio sighed. A moment later he called out, "nah we're outta bear claws."
"Well in that case what do you have?!" They shouted at the same time.
"I've got a box of one dozen starving crazed weasels," he called back.
The group looked at each other smirking with a sly look apiece. "We'll take it!"
A few minutes later they were all huddled outside of Hojo's office, they'd given him the box of weasels saying it was a box of glazed donuts. They put their ears to the door, the box was being opened, followed a moment later by the sweet sound of Hojo shrieking like a banshee. Through the crack of the door they watched him running around like a constipated chocobo until several of the weasels got his throat. They closed the door laughing as Hojo's shrieking gave way to a gurgling noise and finally silence.
