Author's Note

Hard to believe it's only been a little over two months since this series began, but we're already at the merge. I say this so often, but the shorter season just makes things go by so much faster. And because of that, the drama comes to a head that much quicker too...

Well, enough about that. Let's answer some reviews!

SilverWriter0927: Thanks! I'm glad you enjoyed Gwen and Trent finally hooking up (although I do have to ask that you not squeal like that so much, my monitor doesn't have the best resolution so large 'words' tend to make reading reviews a little more annoying as I have to scroll).

acosta perez jose ramiro: Thank you, as always. Mutant Izzy wasn't something I was always sure I was going to do, but I'm glad I went with it.

graveexcitement: Mmm. And yeah, while Gwen had to go pre-merge, she did at least hook up with Trent, and she still had enough focus in this series, and more so in canon, that her elimination isn't particularly unjust in a meta sense. As for Noah, well, this season in general has just been me trying to have him actual live up to his alleged intellect that he never really uses much in canon for anything besides zingers. And even that's still tempered by his general laziness, causing his strategy to manifest as it has - he's still trying to stay under the general radar, but as you said he's not perfect at it. Jasmine caught on to him a little bit, but with the idol now out of play and Courtney's gaff, who knows what'll happen with Noah next...

Animation Adventures: Thanks! I'm glad you liked the episode, especially with Izzy's mutation being what it is - Stitch wasn't really an inspiration for what I did with Izzy, at least not a conscious one, but I approve of the comparison. And I'm really happy that my decision to have two buried cameos has gone over so well with you and the other readers - not only was it a great source of humor, like you said, and it also allowed the twist ending to be set up. As for whether or not it's weird to have your favorite episode be one where your favorite character gets booted...I honestly have no idea, but I'm leaning towards no?

Tokusatsu-31st Century: Yeah, Courtney really shot herself in the foot, metaphorically speaking. By trying to eliminate one of the biggest threats to her, she ended up ruining a friendship and her reputation. And you'll see soon enough how this affects Trent...

ashDanLand: Haha, yeah, this season's been going fast and the twists and turns have had to be fast just keep up. So while Izzy's a great mutant, she had to leave quickly, and Gwen had to go unexpectedly as well. I'm not entirely sure what you mean by Noah being very bad, or Courtney being easy to manipulate in last week's chapter, but I do see why you weren't really able to read the end of last season.

Alice Queen of Madness: Mmm, well, Gwen's elimination was meant to be shocking. And I'm glad you enjoyed Izzy's arms over a potential Izzy-zoid; as you said, the arms suit her more. And yeah, out of all the final six, Courtney probably has the worst position right now. Today's challenge is gonna be pretty important.

moka evans: Well, it just wasn't time for Courtney to leave - plus, I figured that, as you said, she's the type to get jealous over a close female friend's boyfriend, and I wanted to play that up a bit even if I'm not sure Gwen and Courtney ended up being as close here as they ever were in canon. I do kind of wish that I'd kept the idol around longer as well, but I had kind of written myself into a corner since I was so set on Gwen leaving and there just wasn't any other way for that to happen last week. But this way, I got to set up a few things...and I will say that I do enjoy Gwen/Courtney as a ship as well. Other than that, I glad you enjoyed Noah's showdown and confessional, and I hope you enjoy the rest of the season!

Glowing Insanity: Awesome, it's always nice to know when my chapters are so suspenseful. And yeah, I will admit that I have a tendency to not let returning players last very long, especially recently. But hey, at least Izzy made things interesting while she lasted. And yeah, I'm glad the elimination was as tense as I was hoping - well, Gwen's anyway, but that was deliberate on my part. Gwen at least managed to finally get together with Trent, and Courtney...well, she has a rough road ahead of her.

The Prime Writer: Ah, no problem, no problem, review as and when you can, as always. Like you said, Justin, though villainous under the right circumstances, just doesn't have what it takes to really last long in that role. Or any role, to be honest. At least he had an enjoyable exit, even without going bald. Lindsay, of course, is someone I'm super proud of; despite by initial worries that she's best suited to slow-burn development I was still able to show enough of her different aspects before she had to leave the game. Noah, in contrast, has been able to diverge from his canon self in that without the fettering of a friend like Owen he's been able to really show off his craftiness and intellect, much more so than he ever really was able to in canon - though he's still not especially proactive. Courtney...well, she has her own share of problems in-story right now, suffice to say. Though her temper is always lurking beneath the surface, she needs a good deal of frustration to truly explode on people. As for Cameron, I can only say what's already been said: out of all the cast, he remains the one I'm most disappointed that I haven't really been able to do much with. And Izzy...well, she's always going to be energetic and enjoyable self, though I will admit I'm uncertain what the future holds for her. And yeah, I certainly hope that I do better with All-Stars than Fresh did - like you, I did enjoy some parts of it, but the bad way outweighed the good, especially with Mike's entire character arc.

Sarcasm Is A Habit: Thanks! Honestly, I figured it would be too easy to just get rid of Courtney last week - she still has so much potential this season. Not to say that Gwen didn't...but ultimately, Gwen's just wasn't what I wanted or needed. Like I told Animation Adventures, Stitch wasn't really an inspiration for what I did with Izzy, but I like the comparison. I hope you enjoy the merge chapter!

bruno14: Yup, pretty much everyone has to go at some point. And yeah, Izzy's now able to grow extra arms for herself...there's a lot of potential in that concept, I think. And Courtney did certainly dig her own tomb, although usually couples are worth breaking up in reality show competitions - it's just that in this case, the couple was pretty popular with the rest of the cast. I am glad you enjoyed Topher's cameo, and I'm sorry he (and his rivalry with Sierra) weren't featured more in the past as a finale between them would actually be fairly interesting.

CVluvFoxy: Yup. I'm afraid it was Gwen's time to leave, not Courtney's - she still has things left to do, especially with the cast pretty much against her right now. And yeah, the Rats have definitely been the more interesting team lately...but hopefully that'll change now that the teams are merging this week. It's safe to say that I'm going to make things as interesting and exciting as I can from here on out.

PizzaTheBomb: Fair enough on the Gwent criticism. And I'm glad you're happy that Noah got to stay, and with Sierra and Topher's underground argument. I'm actually also glad you found Izzy's mutation to be creepy and weird, as that is sort of something I was going for - but in a sense, things like that suit Izzy's character and role. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this week's episode!

Guest: Haha, yeah, that's Izzy for you - always good for what the writer needs. Usually, anyway. And yeah, this week's elimination is special in that whoever wins the challenge gets to decide who goes home. Interesting predictions as always, both for this week's elimination and next season's cast, but you'll just have to wait and see who I end up choosing.

OMAC001: Thanks! And you'll just have to read on to see if you're right...

P. T. Piranha: Ahaha, thanks! Honestly, I usually only spend part of three or four days each week working on a chapter, and a good part of that is just thinking things out- what I need from the story, what the characters would want to do for themselves, and so on. I'm really happy it all led to last week's elimination going so well. And yeah, Izzy's mutation reminds me of Nico Robin's ability as well, who is the character you're thinking of. Although Robin's power is rather stronger than Izzy's.

BuckJohnson: Yeah, that's the biggest problem with the shift in episode number with the later seasons - so many great characters, so little time to show them off. Let's see...your reaction to Izzy is probably the most adequate I've ever seen. Gwen's elimination shocked basically everyone, and I'm happy you're enjoying Courtney. Not much else to say, other than that I hope you enjoy the rest of the season!

DSX62415: Yup. Well, everyone that has to deal with her wherever she is, right now. Of course, she was a handful to begin with, and now she's at least six times that. And yeah, Courtney really messed up last week... Anyway, I'm glad you got a new keyboard, and I wish you luck with your writing.

FOWLKON: True, the twist isn't new or unprecedented in canon, but All-Stars hasn't happened yet in the Shuffled series and I've never heard of I Love Money before now. And yeah, I'm really happy that everyone's enjoyed the double elimination and how it played out - it means that I was on the right track in terms of what each character would want to do, as well as in the balance and drama that I need going forward. And yeah, you did predict Izzy's mutation, although it was probably not the longest of shots. And yeah, with the merge this week things are gonna get...interesting, to say the least. I'm glad you enjoyed Noah's method of baiting a response from Topher and Sierra, and while it would have been amusing to have those two in the same chest (and I did consider it at points), ultimately the tie required they be separated.

Star Saber21: Yeah, that little fight scene with Chef was the primary inspiration for Izzy's mutation, and what a mutation it ended up being. As I told Fowlkon I did consider putting Topher and Sierra in the same box, which would have certainly provided both danger and humor, but ultimately I decided to split them up for the tie. And you're right in that with the merge approaching, both Courtney and Noah's positions are going to have to tread carefully...

Charlie: They'll be split, as there's no reason in-universe to consider them part of the same season.

I. M. Poik: Yup, Izzy's a mutant alright. I don't know if I'll ever get to show off the full extent of her powers, but I do think she's limited to just arms - but can make far more than four extras. A mass of arms with Izzy's cackling head at the end...is a truly horrifying mental image. And yeah, aside from the return of the rivalry, last week's chapter certainly shook things up - at the very least because Courtney has a big target on her back now, and Noah's been seen in public acting strategically. You'll have to read on ti find out what becomes of any of it, though.

MALHATER45: Well okay then. Trent being on his own has certainly been an interesting writing experience, and I will have to disagree with you on Izzy - while she's certainly different than Dakota in terms of mutation, that doesn't really make her better or worse in my eyes. Interesting prediction, and I look forward to seeing your reaction to the chapter should you choose to review again.

StayOuttaMyShed: Hah, yeah, Izzy never really stood a chance...but Gwen did, in another world at least. I think early on I did consider eliminating one of them in this episode to mirror Zoke, but ultimately I decided I didn't want both of them in the Final Six, and thus with the potential of Trent on his own on the table Gwen had to be eliminated. And so Gwen got eliminated, Izzy had a role, Courtney had a big moment, and Noah got to be both scheming and a little over-confident. And now I'm left with what appears to be a popular Final Six, and with several directions I can take them. Especially with the rules of this week's challenge, as you said. I look forward to seeing your reactions to this week's episode.

totaldramacodyfan20: No problem. And yeah, it doesn't certainly seem like Gwen and Courtney's situation is reversed, in a sense... I'm glad you enjoyed Gwent ending on a high note, and I enjoyed your predictions of what's to come. I look forward to seeing how they may change over the next few weeks.

link9753: Really? Great to see you loved it so much! Though, as always, I do hope I'll be able to outdo myself at some point. I think most people were expecting Noah to find and play the idol, but certainly nobody expected Gwen to be the victim of it - even in-story. And with the unusual elimination rules this week, things are definitely going to get even more interesting...it was fun to get it to go the way that I wanted to, and I hope my enjoyment passes on to the readers.

wifishark: Yeah, while I did briefly consider putting the double some time post-merge, I figured it would be better to just do it last week instead and keep things simple. Same thing with Izzy, really; she filled the role the season needed, and I feel no shame in booting her right after she returned to the in booting Gwen before the merge, to be honest.

Explorer of the Unknown: Haha, I'm always happy to see my readers surprised in a good way. I'm glad you enjoyed Izzy's mutation, like you said it matches her personality well and even if she hasn't really learned to dial herself back at least she has a new friend in Staci. As for Courtney, yeah she absolutely messed up last week and is gonna have to deal with the fallout from hurting Trent like that. I'm glad I decided to have him last longer, it'll really allow me to explore a different side of him that I wasn't able to with Gwen around. Noah...well, he still has cover in the form of Courtney, at least, and no longer has the immunity statue for people to worry about either. I'm glad you enjoyed last week's cameo, as did so many others, and as for this week's...well, whoever it is will only have like a couple hours to work with, should they do something. Thank for the review as always, and I hope you enjoy the rest of the season!

CDreadsFanfic: That so? Huh, most people were expecting her to leave last week, like she did. But hey, nothing wrong with expecting her to go farther. At least you had her mutation to enjoy, though. I'm glad you enjoyed Gwen leaving, both in the sense that you'd predicted something like it and because of everything that allowed it to happen, that immediately happened because of it - and, I hope, everything that will happen now because of as for your All-Stars predictions...well, they're interesting, although you seem to have listed 6 Heroes and 8 Villains, rather than 7 of each.

And that's that for the reviews! Now for the usual announcements: the poll in my profile will remain up for the time being, and as always a TVTropes page for this series exists, and as per usual with such things, could always use more work. I thoroughly appreciate those who've already been working on it, and look forward to seeing what you all add next.

The current players are as follows:

Toxic Rats:Courtney, Noah, Trent

Mutant Maggots: Jasmine, Zoey, Harold

However, the merge is this week so don't expect those teams to stay for much longer. I hope you enjoy what's coming, dear readers!

- Fangren


Episode 9 – Grand Chef Auto

"Last time, on Total Drama Revenge of the Island!" Chris opened over the usual stock shot of the island. "Our players went on a hunt for buried treasure," the first clip of the recap montage showed the Rats reaching the edge of the swamp, while the second showed the two teams digging their holes, "aka, Topher and Sierra." The wannabe host was shown waking up to find himself trapped in a chest, then arguing with his long-time rival over a walkie-talkie.

"Gwen and Trent continued to bond," the host added over shots of the two enjoying each other's company, "both with each other and with their teammates." Trent was shown talking to Noah, Gwen was shown talking to Courtney, and then Trent and Gwen pulled Courtney into the safety of a tree before a giant mutant alligator could pounce on her. "Izzy revealed she was even more of a freak of nature than we realized," Chris continued over a medley of clips of the wild child showing off and making use of her extra arms, "thanks to her recent stay in the toxic wilds. But in the end, the challenge was a tie," Topher and Sierra were shown emerging from their coffins simultaneously, "meaning both teams had to send a member of the other team home."

"For the Rats the choice was obvious, and Izzy was given the boot," Chris said as Chef was shown capturing the shocked redhead before the votes were even read. "But the Maggots were shocked when Noah used the invincibility statue," the schemer was shown reluctantly playing the Chris head, "saving himself and sending Gwen home instead," nearly everyone gasped in surprise as the announcement was shown being made, "courtesy of Izzy, who got the idea from Courtney." Izzy shrugged calmly, and Courtney tried to stammer out an explanation as several angry pairs of eyes moved to her. "Adios to both of you!" Chris added in annoyance over a clip of the two losers getting Hurled by the dripping wet host.

"Who will be the next Hurl?" Chris asked, the scene moving to the docks as the montage finally ended. "And how will we injure them beforehand?" He stepped closer to the camera, shielding the right side of his sly-smiling face with his left hand before stepping back. "Find out the answers to these questions and more, right now, right here, on Total! Drama! Revenge, of the Island!"

xxx

(Fade to Opening Theme)

Dear Mom and Dad, I'm doin' fine;

You guys are on my mind!

Ya asked me what I wanted to be,

And now I think the answer is plain to see!

I wanna be...famous!

I wanna live close to the sun!

Well pack your bags, 'cause I've already won!

Everythin' to prove, nothin' in my way;

I'll get there one day.

'Cause I wanna be...famous!

(Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)

I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)

I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)

(Fade to Episode)

xxx

A harp was playing as the episode opened, and a small pink bird sang happily on a tree branch...until a thick purple tentacle rose up and flicked it away. The music turned significantly less peaceful as an air raid siren began to sound, the camera zooming out to show the squid-tree looking around in alarm.

The shot cut over to Chris on the roof of the Maggots' cabin, wearing an old war helmet and cranking the siren with a smile. The shot pulled back to show the six campers stepping out into the common area to investigate – Noah, Trent, and Courtney from the Rats' cabin; Harold and Zoey from the Maggots', and Jasmine from between.

"Gooooooood morning, campers!" the host greeted, allowing the siren's wail to peter off. "Today we have a very special treat."

"Actual food?" Noah asked dryly.

"Espressos?" Zoey added with an excited gasp.

"Kung fu lessons?" Harold finished eagerly.

"Nope! It's merge day!" Chris told them. "No more Team Rat, no more Team Maggot!" He jumped off the roof, and landed with a grunt. "From now on," he said as he walked over to the former Toxic Rats, "it's every man, woman, and mutant for themselves." Noah raised an eyebrow and smirked, while Trent and Courtney locked eyes and the musician's dark grin quickly unnerved the former CIT.

xxx

"The merge? Finally," Courtney told the outhouse camera. "Now that I don't have a team to hold me back, I can really start winning." Worry suddenly filled her face, and she looked away to her right. "Sure, the others are pretty mad at me for what happened to Gwen, but I don't need their approval. I'm strong enough on my own. And if they know what's best for them, they'll ally with me anyway," she finished, putting her hands on her hips and closing her eyes and looking generally haughty and self-assured.

xxx

The music became tense as the footage cut back to the steps of the former Rats' cabin, the host taking out a walkie talkie. "Chef!" he called into it, the scene cutting to a close-up the hulking man in the pilot's seat of what sound like a helicopter. "Drop it like it's hot!" the host ordered, prompting Chef to grin and press a button on the control stick.

The shot cut outward a ways to reveal that the helicopter was carrying a truly gigantic block of concrete, which was promptly dropped. Down below, Harold and Zoey screamed and ran away from their former home, and the three former Rats cringed and threw up their arms to shield themselves from the shower of splintered wood sent their way by the impact.

"You crushed our cabin with a block of solid concrete?!" Zoey yelled angrily back at Chris, the shot cutting back to show her, Harold, and Jasmine lying on the ground in front of their ruined cabin and concrete block.

"I had a bunch left over from building a monument to myself," Chris explained with a cheeky smile. "I call it, 'Mount Chrismore'!" A short drumroll led into a grandiose theme matching the equally grandiose tone the host used to name his monument, and the camera cut over to, and slowly zoomed in towards, a massive fake mountain in the shape of Chris' head.

A small squeak of a fart ended the music as a bit of bird poop landed on the edge of Mount Chrismore's left eye. The shot panned up to the culprits: a pair of rattle-gulls squawking with laughter on top the concrete head, high-winging each other with congratulatory glee.

"From now on," Chris told the cast now standing by the lone remaining building in shot, unaware of his project's defilement, "you'll all share one tiny, cruddy, cabin."

"But all our stuff was in there!" Zoey protested.

"Yes," the host replied mirthfully, "and because I am nice, and not heartless, I'll help you get it out." Zoey and Harold smiled hopefully, and with another grand tune the shot cut to a close-up of a pickaxe. "One McLean brand Pickaxe," Chris said as the pickaxe head gleamed, and the camera pulled back to show that the tool was about the size of a pencil. "Children's size." He flicked it over to the campers as the helicopter approached, and based on the gravelly cry of pain that followed it had hit Harold. Sure enough, the shot cut to Zoey holding the miniscule tool while the dweeb rubbed his sore right arm.

"Later, taters!" Chris told them, grabbing on to the helicopter's hanging rope ladder and laughing as he was lifted up and flown off. The helicopter was flying low enough, however, that he ended up slamming into the top of the block of concrete he'd had dropped, and yelped in pain. "Chef!" he yelled angrily as the helicopter flew off with him.

/

"Hah," Courtney said as she and Noah watched from the sidelines the Maggots try and reclaim their belongings off-screen. "Good thing that wasn't our cabin. Now we don't have to waste time and energy digging through rubble."

"Yeah, speak for yourself," Noah replied, walking forward and leaving his former teammate to gasp in shock, then scowl.

xxx

"First she gets Gwen voted off, and now she's rubbing the others' faces in their wrecked cabin?" Noah told the confessional camera. "Yeah, I was gonna let her rage get the better of her before, but now it's time this Rat got off her sinking ship altogether. If the others think I'm still on good terms with her, it's just gonna give me more trouble than I need."

xxx

The scene moved to the broken roof of the destroyed cabin, where Zoey was fruitlessly trying to break through the shingles with the pathetically small pickaxe she'd been given. "Aww, c'mon," she moaned after a few grunting swings, sitting back on her legs, "gimme my clothes back!"

"Maybe you'd have better luck in another part of the rubble," Jasmine suggested, the shot pulling out to show her standing nearby...and that the section of roof Zoey had been trying to break through was propped up against the concrete block with nothing but air below it.

"Oh...," Zoey said, looking down with a faint blush of embarrassment. "Heh, yeah, good idea." She slid down off the roof next to her friend and former teammate, who was now looking around.

"Hey, where's Trent?" Jasmine asked. "I thought he was gonna help us out."

"Oh, I think he's over there," Zoey said, pointing forward. The camera quick-panned over to the other side of the rubble, where Trent was standing on the remains of the lower part of the roof. Though he was prying a part of the wall away from the concrete block with his hands, he was looking backward with a scowl on his face.

"Stupid Courtney...," he muttered angrily. "I can't believe she got Gwen voted off...I'll show her..."

The focus moved back to Zoey and Jasmine. "Uhh, does he seem a little...I don't know, madder than usual?" Zoey asked.

"Yeah," Jasmine said, "but it's just because his girl got eliminated. I'm sure he'll get over it soon, especially once Courtney's gone."

"I guess...," Zoey said uncertainly.

"Look, don't worry about him," the survivalist said, leading the indie girl over to what had once been the side railing of their cabin. "Just focus on what's ahead of us, okay?"

xxx

"Don't get me wrong, I feel bad for the guy," Jasmine confessed, "but there's not much we can do for him besides make sure Courtney gets voted out. Aside from that, I don't see any reason why I can't try to enjoy the rest of the competition."

xxx

The static cut away to Noah and Harold pulling a blanket out from under the ruined steps. "Thanks again for helping, Noah," the alpha geek said.

"Hey, it was either this or listen to Courtney say how much better than everyone she is," Noah replied as they gave the blanket one final tug, freeing it entirely. "I'm pretty sure she thinks that if she keeps saying it, it'll become true."

A snort drew their attention upwards, the camera pulling back to show Trent jumping down off the low section of the former roof. "Yeah, as if. Does she even realize how mad everyone is at her? Uggh, and to think I was gonna try and be cool with her," he said, pounding his hand in frustration.

"I know how you feel, man," Noah said. "Me and Gruesome were tight since day one. It's just not the same without her around to darken up the day."

"Thanks," Trent said, "but I'm not sure you really do know how I feel." Noah raised a skeptical eyebrow, but it went unnoticed as the musician closed his eyes and drew a fist close to his chest, an emotional guitar tune welling up in the background. "What me and Gwen had went way beyond just friendship. She was my muse, the shining light that made being out here so much more worthwhile. We were in love, man."

Harold gave him a few consoling pats on the shoulder. "There, there," he said. "Although Gwen may be gone, know that the bonds of fraternity are ever by your side."

"Thanks, man," Trent said. "Now we just gotta be careful so nothing ruins our chances of avenging Gwen." He took out his lucky rabbit's foot, and began to tap it against his heart muttering "One-two-three-four-five-six-seven-eight-nine."

Noah and Harold looked at each other, and shrugged.

xxx

"I'm guessing Trent's gonna be focused a lot more on his lucky number now that Gwen is gone," Harold told the outhouse camera, rubbing his chin in thought. "Losing a girl can be really hard on a guy, even if she only got hurled away by a catapult instead of breaking up with him. Luckily, I still have Jasmine around, otherwise I'd probably be a wreck myself," he smiled and nodded knowingly.

xxx

"Challenge tii~iime!" Chris announced as the scene moved to the space between the communal bathrooms and the mess hall, where the six campers had gathered before the host and a widescreen television cart. "Today, it's all about grabbin' 'em and taggin' 'em," Chris explained as the camera panned across Trent, Noah, Harold, Zoey, Jasmine, and Courtney. "And to show you how it's done, I give you Total Drama's favorite evil-doer on loan once more from Area 51, Scarlett."

The music trilled darkly as the evil genius, still strapped to a hand truck with a mask covering the lower half of her face, was wheeled over by Chef. "Scarlett still owes me for all the rampages she's done," Chris explained, "so, I saved an extra-painful challenge demo just for her."

"You're going to pay for this, McLean," Scarlett warned.

"No, you are," Chris corrected with a grin. "First up, the 'Smash and Grab'." The shot cut over to the television as it switched from static to a feed of the kitchen. "Hidden somewhere in the mess hall kitchen are six keys to Chef's prized collection of vintage go-karts." The feed cut to the karts in question, sitting outdoors in an area walled off by wooden planks. A single chain link gate served as an entrance point, with a barbed wire-lined sign displaying an image of a go-kart above it. Another pile of the island's ever-present toxic waste barrels could be seen just beyond the wall.

"Some drive like well-oiled machines," the host continued as a kart was shown in close-up against a brilliant orange background, its engine whirring and its wheels spinning. "Others...," the go-kart's wheels suddenly broke off, "...not so much."

"Chris!" Chef interrupted angrily, moving the scene back to them and Scarlett. "Don't let these clowns drive my karts! They're gonna smash 'em!"

"Yes," the host answered in a condescending manner, "and car crashes equals ratings. Demo time, Scarlett! Chef," the hulking man reluctantly stepped towards the hand truck, "let this perp out on a day pass."

Chef untied the evil genius' bonds, and the moment they fell away she discard her mask and ran off with a cry of "So long, you impudent peons!" She started cackling evilly, and the two adults shared an awkward look.

"Okayyyy...probably shoulda seen that coming...," Chris admitted. Chef nodded.

Courtney sniffed in an unimpressed manner as the camera cut over to her and Jasmine. "Searching a kitchen? Go-kart racing? Please. I can do all of that in my sleep."

"Oh yeah?" Jasmine looked down at her with a smirk. "You think you'll just beat us all without a fuss, then?"

"Duh," Courtney replied with a hint of irritation. "It's not like I'm some overblown loser with a giant ego. I know what I'm capable of doing."

"Then I guess this challenge is gonna be a nail-biter, 'cause I'm not givin' up either," Jasmine said, still smirking.

The camera panned over to show Zoey listening in with an anxious look on her face. She tapped her friend on the arm, prompting the taller girl to stoop down a little bit so Zoey could whisper into her ear. "Are you sure you should be acting so...chummy with her?" she asked. "I don't think Trent likes it." She pointed down to the other end of the line, where the musician was shown glaring towards the girls.

"It's just a bit of competitiveness," Jasmine replied, "it's not like me and Courtney are suddenly friends or anything. Trent understands that."

"If you say so..." Zoey said uncertainly.

xxx

"Jasmine's usually right about people," Zoey told the confessional camera, "but I can't help but feel worried that this time she's wrong. Maybe I should find a way to make Trent feel better before something bad happens."

xxx

Chris was now standing on the mess hall's front porch, just to the side of the stairs, while the campers were lined up on the ground nearby. "Players!" the host said, raising his hand and prompting the six to get into running positions. "Commence smashing and/or grabbing...now!" He waved his hand down, and the footage flashed ahead.

/

"A key, a key...," Trent told himself as he dashed over to a shelf near the walk-in freezer, the music slow and plodding. "Where would Chris hide a key?" He lifted the lid of a jar only to find it empty, then checked a salt shaker by turning it over. The lid fell off, dumping a pile of salt onto the shelf, and Trent gasped. "Aww man, that's some seriously bad luck," he said, quickly throwing a pinch of salt over his right shoulder. The camera followed it as it hit an unsuspecting Noah in the eye as he casually looked in Trent's direction; he grunted in pain then glared at the musician while rubbing his eye.

"Sorry, man," Trent said bashfully, rubbing the back of his head.

The focus moved over to Harold and Jasmine as they approached a tall cabinet. "Alright. I'll search high, you look low," the survivalist said.

"But of course," Harold said, bending down and opening one of the bottom cupboards. He looked around a little, then frowned and stood up. "No keys that I could see."

"Yeah, me neither," Jasmine said. "But it's only a matter of time before something jumps out at us."

She closed the cupboard door, revealing that a giant cockroach was now standing on her arm. "That's not what I meant," she said nervously before the mutant launched itself onto Harold's face, the dweeb immediately screaming and flailing his arms.

"Uggh...," Noah grunted as the camera moved back to him and his reddened right eye, bending down and reaching under the room's central table. "Maybe they hid something under here...," he said before pulling out a bag with a peanut on the side. He stared at it for a moment, then shrugged. "Ehh, probably no more disgusting than anything else I've eaten here," he said before ducking under the cloth head-first.

The camera cut under the cloth with him, showing him now face to face with another giant roach, this one sitting on top a pile of grubby pots and discarded soda cans. "Oh fate, why must you hate me so?" Noah moaned as the roach licked its mandibles, dashed a bit of salt on the boy's face, then opened wide...

The shot cut back outside the tablecloth as a flat note played and Noah yelped in pain.

Just to the right of the sink, Trent was searching through some more shelves as Zoey walked up to him. "One...five...eight...," he muttered as he looked from one box or bag or bottle to the next.

"Uh, Trent? Are you alright?" Zoey asked in concern.

"Huh?" the musician said, setting down a small pan and turning around to face her. "Oh, yeah, no problem here. Just counting to see if there's nine of anything. I figure it might lead me to a key."

"Rrrright...," Zoey said, briefly looking away with a hint of anxiousness. "Umm, and what about Courtney?" Trent stiffened slightly. "Is there...anything about her you'd like to talk about?"

"What's there to say?" Trent frowned as he turned back and started searching the shelves again. "She needs to go."

"Well, there shouldn't be a problem there," Zoey said happily. "I mean, as long as she doesn't win the challenge we can just vote her off, right?"

Trent frantically whirled back around at her. "Don't jinx it!" he hissed with a hint of desperation that made Zoey wince.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to," the indie girl said.

Trent let out his breath, then turned towards a door next to the sink. "I know," he said, "you just can't be too careful with luck. Who knows what could happen?"

As he opened the door, the camera cut inside to reveal it as a broom closet. As soon as he looked inside, however, yet another giant roach jumped out and latched onto his face, knocking him over with a grunt. "Ooh, sorry," Zoey winced, leaning over and looking down at the fallen young man.

The focus moved to Courtney next as she crouched down in front of a bucket of water on the other side of the sink. "Well, I might as well check this too," she said, reaching in but almost immediately yelping in pain and pulling her arm back out. A thin, insectile arm rose out of the water and grasped at her as she rubbed her hand. "You better watch it, buster," she scolded the bucket, drawing her arm back and punching into the water.

Her grin quickly faded into a grimace of pain again as whatever lurked inside the bucket bit her. She screamed and tried to withdraw her hand again, but it was stuck and all she managed was to slop some water onto the floor.

The camera panned back over to Trent and Zoey, the latter of which was looking in the direction of Courtney's screams while the former tossed the roach that had attacked him back into the broom closet and slammed the door. "Do you think we should maybe help her?" Zoey asked.

"Not really," Trent answered coolly. "Maybe if she actually apologized for getting Gwen eliminated and trying to do the same to me I'd give her a hand." He walked off to the right as he spoke, and returned shortly carrying a stained and fly-ridden bag of garbage. "But until then, I'd rather just search through this garbage."

He opened the bag, and both he and Zoey immediately wretched. The musician quickly covered his mouth and nose with his sleeve and reached in with his free hand, and the camera focused in on the indie girl as she suddenly became thoughtful.

xxx

"Maybe if I can get Courtney to apologize to Trent," Zoey pondered in the outhouse, "then he'll go back to his old self and we can all be friends again. Well, friends-ish anyway. It's...worth a try, right?" she asked the camera with an uncertain smile.

xxx

The scene moved back to Jasmine and Harold, the dweeb flailing his arms and running around with a mutant cockroach latched to his face while the survivalist hesitantly looked on. Eventually she gave a helpless shrug, then held out her fist so that Harold ran into it face-first; he fell onto his back, and the roach rolled off him with a pained hiss to accompany the dweeb's pained groan.

"Sorry, mate," Jasmine said, pulling him back to his feet with one hand, "I didn't have many options with you running around like a panicked joey."

"I understand," Harold nodded solemnly. "I was just too agile to grab hold of, like an oiled-up gazelle."

"Right," Jasmine said with a joking smirk. "Now let's just see if...," she trailed off as she stepped back over to the cabinet they'd been searching, and felt around on top it with her long arm. After a second she smiled. "Got one!" she declared, pulling her arm back and holding up a key. She looked at Harold's grin, then tossed the key to him. "You take it," she told him with a smirk.

"It is my honor," Harold replied slowly, holding the key up to his wide, sparkling eyes as though it were priceless treasure.

xxx

"What? It was the least I could do after the roach thing," Jasmine told the confessional camera. "And besides, he would've done the same for me. Plus, it's not like we can't just find another key together."

xxx

"Alright, cough it up!" Courtney yelled at the bucket as she thrust a mop into it over and over. She relented after a second, withdrawing the mop so that a rather battered mutant cockroach could emerge and weakly spit up a key into her waiting hands. "Yes!" she said, excitedly pumping her fist.

The focus moved back to Harold and Jasmine as the alpha nerd rooted around in a garbage can while Jasmine watched. After a second he smiled and pulled his now-grimy arm out with a smile and dropped a key into his friend's hands. "For you, milady," he told her.

"Thanks," Jasmine snorted.

Another cut took the scene back to the central table, which rocked and shook before, finally, Noah was tossed back out into the open looking rather the worse for wear. "Hah!" he shot back at the table as a sharp-toned taunt. "No meal for you, and I got what I wanted!" He grinned, and held up a key of his own.

"C'mon...," Trent muttered as the shot cut back to him rooting through the garbage bag, "I know you're in here somewhere...yes!" He exclaimed brightly, and laughed as he pulled a key out. "Haha, check it out, I finally found one!" he told Zoey, the camera panning over to show her searching through the same shelves Trent himself had been looking through earlier.

"Whoa, it's gold!" the indie girl said in awe as the shot zoomed in on Trent's key, a radiant background appearing to emphasize its color.

"I know. It has to be a good sign," Trent said excitedly.

"I hope so," Zoey smiled, picking up the lid of a large cookie jar and sticking her hand in it. A second later she smiled and withdrew a key of her own, and beamed at Trent. "Look, I found one too! Although it isn't gold...," she added with a frown.

"Guess my key really is unique," Trent said, looking at his gold key and grinning as the plodding music that had played throughout the search finally peaked and ended.

/

The scene flashed outside, where Chris and Chef were walking away from the mess hall. "You let them trash my kitchen?!" Chef asked the host in disbelief, both men stopping in their tracks. "Chris, man. Do you know how long that's gonna take to clean up?"

"Buudddyyy," the host replied, his tone more condescending than placating, "brother from another mother! Relax, it's cool. See?" he ran over and thrust a mop into his hulking assistant's arms. "I got you a new mop!"

As he walked away the shot lingered on Chef, the music booming darkly as he growled and snapped the mop.

/

Another flash took the scene outside the patchwork wall of Chef's go-kart pen, a flashing red neon light in the shape of the man's head affixed to the board above the chainlink entrance. "Say hello to challenge part deux!" Chris said over the zooming shot before the camera cut to him and the six campers just inside the compound, a light but tense score beginning in the background. Each contestant was holding some kind of yellow electronic tablet, as well as a can of spray pain – Courtney with red, Noah with black, Trent with green, Zoey with pink, Jasmine with purple, and Harold with blue.

"Grand Chef Auto!" the host continued. "You've each been given a can of spray pain and a GPS map of the island. Your mission?" he said with a sly look as the shot cut to a rather unimpressed-looking Courtney. "Race your go-karts around the island and be the first to graffiti tag three landmarks," the host explained as the shot cut to a close-up of Courtney's GPS, showing a topographic map with three blinking lights arranged in a wide triangle.

"The rock wall of Mount Looming Tragedy," Chris said, a deep drumroll leading in to a shot of the looming tragedy they'd been forced to scale several episodes ago. "The spooky tree in the haunted forest," the squid-tree was shown next, its eyeball and tentacles tucked away out of sight. "And, the tippy-top of a giant totem pole," the host finished as the camera panned up the camp's slightly goofy-looking totem pole.

"Oh, and the go-karts?" Chris added as the shot cut over to Chef standing in front of the go-karts and looking around irritably. "You'll have to steal them. From Chef." The camera suddenly zoomed in on the hulking man, who growled as an ominous riff played.

Harold gulped.

"The first player to completely tag all three landmarks wins immunity," Chris explained. "And," the shot began to zoom across the variously stubborn, determined, and nervous faces of the campers, "they get to choose who will be eliminated. Haha, alright," he said jovially as the camera reached the end of the line and cut back to him. "Aaaand, go!"

/

The scene flashed to a close-up of Chef as he looked from side to side, a dangerous ascending chant ending in a sharp drum beat as the perspective moved behind his shoulders to show the six campers standing their ground.

"Oh yeah, I'm so scared of some staring," Courtney said, rolling her eyes in sarcastic mockery. "Step aside, old man," she added with a harshness that caused Noah to warily take a step away from her. As he did so a deep, blaring tuba opened a darker dramatic score, the camera cutting back to Chef's close-up as he narrowed his eyes.

"Nobody touches my stuff," he said softly. The shot cut to his mouth alone, as he repeated "Nobody."

With a snap of his fingers the music picked up its pace, and with an angry chittering a veritable army of hairless mutant squirrels rose up from behind, within, and in front of the go-karts. Zoey gasped, as did Courtney, and Harold clutched the sides of his head, thrust a finger forward, and dramatically exclaimed "Laser squirrels!"

The eyes of three squirrels sitting on a single kart turned red and fired off their trademark eye lasers, and swept their gazes across the yard at the unseen, but screaming, campers.

The dramatic music fell away suddenly as the shot cut to Chris McLean, lounging in a yard chair with his feet propped up on a stack of tires. "I love it when Chef gets mad, don't you?" he asked the camera with a smile as the campers continued to scream. "Who will survive his wrath?" he added as the dramatic score returned. "Find out after the break, right here, on Total! Drama! Revenge of the Island!"

(Fade to Commercial and Back)

The campers were still running and screaming under fire from the pack of laser squirrels as the episode resumed, the dramatic score resuming with it. Jasmine and Harold soon found themselves running into a corner between the wall and a stack of tires, and Chef Hatchet quickly came up behind them with a gleeful cackle. "Game over," he told them. "You're comin' with me."

Elsewhere, the rodent horde decided to abandon the safety of the go-karts to bring the assault to the humans.

"No! They're in my hair!" Zoey exclaimed as she tried to pull a squirrel off each of her braids.

"Aww, crud," Trent said, stopping in place upon hearing his friend's cry.

"Hah!" Courtney laughed as she ran up. "Why don't you go help her? It'll give me more time to grab my go-kart." She laughed again and ran off, leaving Trent to grit his teeth angrily, then run after her. As he did he passed by Noah, who was struggling with a squirrel biting each arm and leg.

"Oww...would you just get off already?" he yelled in irritation as he hopped forward on one foot, flailing his arms fruitlessly. "Here, you can have these!" he added, reaching into the pocket of his shorts and producing the bag of peanuts he'd found in the kitchen earlier.

Immediately, an angelic tune took over the music as a radiant background appeared behind the peanuts and the eyes of every squirrel turned to them – even the ones still gnawing on Zoey's head. "Happy? Now go fetch!" Noah told them, throwing the bag away as far as he could.

It hit Harold in the head as he and Jasmine were forcibly escorted forward by Chef. "Huh?" the dweeb said in confusion as he caught the bag on the rebound, and the three looked behind them and gasped. "Run away!" he yelled, Jasmine and Chef joining him as they ran off, pursued by the naked swarm as the dramatic music came back again.

"Alright, time to blow this nuthouse," Noah said, hopping into a kart as the shot cut back to him. He turned the key, revved the engine, and took off with an unexpected burst of speed. The camera followed him a little ways, but lingered on Trent as he watched the slacker speed past from the seat of a golden go-kart.

"Man, I better hurry up," he said, taking the gold key out of his shirt. "Good thing I got this," he said, putting it into the ignition with a smile. "This has gotta be the best one." He pressed down on the gas and the wheels began to spin and squeal, but for some reason he wasn't going anywhere. He frowned in confusion, then palmed his face as the shot zoomed out to reveal that his kart was missing its front wheels, the bare axles propped up on cinder blocks. "Or the crummiest," he berated himself. "How could I have been so stupid?"

"Who knows," Chris answered, leaning in with an impish smile as Zoey also arrived. "And before you ask," he quickly told the two, "no take-backs on the karts. Especially the crummy ones." He leaned away, and the camera focused in on the musician and the indie girl.

"Maybe...I could give you a tow?" Zoey offered before Courtney zoomed by in a kart of her own, laughing triumphantly.

"Nah, don't bother," Trent said, his face falling into a modest glare in the direction Courtney had gone off in. "You should focus on beating Courtney. I'll make do somehow."

Zoey bit her lip nervously, looking between Trent and the direction he was looking. "Well, if you say so," she said, hopping into one of the other karts and speeding off.

The camera lingered on Trent, however, as he got out of the golden kart and looked around warily. "Okay, there's gotta be some spare wheels around here somewhere," he said.

/

The challenge music faded into a slower, plodding tune as the scene cut to Jasmine and Harold behind the iron-barred door of what looked like a wooden shed. Chef was standing outside, looking at his captives with a proud smile and crossed arms.

"You can't do this!" Jasmine told him.

"Yeah, this is totally bogus!" Harold chimed in.

"Tell it to yo' prison guard," Chef told them, the music spiking dramatically again as he gestured over his shoulder at Fang, who was chained to a thin stump sticking out of the mud. He growled viciously at them from the end of his leash, causing Harold and Jasmine to gasp and Chef to walk away cackling.

/

The shot cut to a close-up of the GPS map, a red icon bearing Noah's face now next to one of the flashing lights.

"Okay, first landmark and first to arrive," Noah said with a smirk as he shook his can of black paint. "Looks like things are looking up for me today," he chuckled as he tagged the rock with a simple X. The camera zoomed out as he turned and ran back to the left, calling out a quick "See you at the finish line, Courtney!" as he passed the young woman by.

"As if," the ex-CIT grunted, already shaking her can of red paint. "Hmm...," she murmured, tapping her chin in thought as she paused in front of the wall. "It should be something simple, but still demonstrate my domination of the others." The sound of an approaching engine got her attention, and she shot a brief glare off to the left. "No time...this'll have to do," she said to herself as she began to spray.

The shot cut to her parked go-kart as Zoey arrived next to it, got out, and ran up to the wall. "Hey, Courtney, I'm glad I caught you," she said while shaking her can of pink paint.

"Yeah, well, don't expect it to last," Courtney replied as she finished her tag – an elegant 'A+'. She turned to run back to her kart, causing Zoey to gasp and fruitlessly put out a hand to stop her.

"Wait," the indie girl said, "I wanted to ask you something!"

"Save it for after the challenge!" Courtney shot back before hopping into her kart and speeding off.

Zoey huffed as she watched the girl drive past, then turned around and quickly tagged the rock wall with a pink heart shape. A short dramatic riff played, and the scene flashed away.

/

"Okay," Trent said, looking around warily while backing up across the yard with a pair of small tires in his arms. "No sign of Chef or those squirrels, so I should be good." He reached the golden go-kart and dropped the tires, then slotted one onto the front-right axle. "One-two-three-four-five-six-seven-eight-nine," he said, tightening the wheel with a socket wrench twist for each number. He stood up and gave a short, but fairly happy laugh.

/

A deep beat reintroduced a tense, trilling score as the scene cut to Fang, still growling at the end of his leash. The camera panned over to Jasmine and Harold, still trapped inside the improvised jail cell.

"Well this is quite the jam we've gotten ourselves into," Harold lamented. "I don't know how we're supposed to get out of here, much less deal with him," he gestured to Fang, who growled and snapped his jaws at them, "get to our karts," he gestured in the opposite direction, the camera quick-panning to the remaining two go-karts, "and catch up with the others." The camera panned again, this time showing Trent speeding off in his golden kart.

"Well I'm pretty sure I can just bend the bars," Jasmine said, giving two of the bars a cursory tug, "and Fang's more bark than bite once you get used to him. But you're right that we're only gonna fall further behind the others if we don't act quickly."

"Hmm...," Harold said, tapping his chin in thought. "Maybe there's some kind of shortcut we can use to get between the landmarks faster," he said, raising his GPS map and examining it more closely.

"Well, it can't hurt to look," Jasmine said as she began putting more effort into bending the bars.

/

"I can't believe it," Noah said giddily as he carefully walked back towards his kart, "two down and I'm still in first!" The shot zoomed out to show a black X on the bark of the currently-dormant squid-tree, and Noah hopped into his kart and drove off just as Courtney and Zoey arrived.

"Uggh, not only am I still in second," Courtney griped as she ran to the tree with Zoey right behind her, "but now you've actually caught up to me?"

"Look, I just wanted to ask you about what happened with Gwen!" the indie girl said as the tree's eye opened up and looked down at them.

"And I already told everyone that I didn't want her to go!" Courtney snapped before turning her attention to the tree. Before she could start tagging, however, the music became tense again and a tentacle reached down and grabbed her around the waist, pulling her close and slamming her against the tree. Zoey gasped in concern, but seemed to be frozen in fear.

/

The scene cut back to the makeshift jail cell as Jasmine finally bent the bars open with a powerful grunt. "Yes!" Harold fist-pumped behind her.

"Let's get moving," Jasmine said, and the two ducked out through the gap.

They were immediately confronted by a snarling, snapping Fang, but Jasmine just gave him a quick punch on the nose, knocking him back a few feet. "Look, we don't have time for you," she told him as he propped himself up on one arm and rubbed where he'd been hit. "And you can't do much tied up like that anyway, so don't bother." Fang looked over at the stump he was chained to, growled at it, then started to bite and gnaw at it.

He snapped through it in seconds, and turned a dark and cocky growl up towards...nothing, as the camera zoomed out to reveal that Jasmine and Harold were no longer present. Fang growled in frustration and pounded the ground, the dramatic music peaking.

"You sure showed him," Harold told Jasmine as the two hopped into their karts and sped away, the survivalist looking rather ungainly with her long legs sticking up around the wheel.

"Yeah," Jasmine smirked. "Now how about that shortcut?"

"Right," Harold said, looking down at his GPS, "I think I've just about figured it out. We just have to go around the-" With his attention on the map his kart began to swerve, and the shot pulled back to show him bumping into Jasmine, cutting off his explanation.

"Whoa there!" the survivalist said as the two quickly steadied their karts. "Maybe you should just point it out as we go."

"Another great idea, oh beautiful and talented friend of mine," Harold said, earning a joking smile from Jasmine.

A sudden buzz from his GPS got his attention, though, and the camera moved over his shoulder to show the screen flickering as the player icons moved between the landmarks – Jasmine and Harold moving towards the first; Trent a little ways ahead of them; and the other three around the second. A small window popped up in the middle of the screen, showing what appeared to be a live feed of a rather odd-looking Chris McLean. "Listen- up-," he said in an oddly stilted voice. "Three- landmarks- wasn't- tough- enough- sooo- I- add-ed- a- fourth." Another blinking dot appeared on the map, the camera zooming out to show it roughly in the middle of the other three. "It's- a- doozy- a- mountainside- right- in- the- center- of- the- island." The grainy, flickering live feed reappeared, the shot zoomed in enough to show that 'Chris' looked suspiciously corpse-like, with grayed skin, closed eyes, and tongue lolling out of a drooping head. "Now- GET- tagging- and- don't- spare- the- paint. McLeeeeean, out."

The broadcast ended not as though its window had been closed, but as though a television had been turned off. The shot cut to a close-up of a tape recorder in the hand of Chef Hatchet, who rewound it and replayed the phrase "McLeeeeean, out." The shot pulled back, revealing Chef to be holding a beaten-up dummy of the host in front of a television camera.

"Nobody touches my stuff," Chef told the camera filming him. "NOBODY!" he repeated as a dramatic riff played, and he descended into a mad cackle.

/

An ominous chant played as the scene flashed to Mount Looming Tragedy, where Trent had just finished his first tag – a green 9 on the rock to the right of the other three tags. The sound of engines got his attention, and he turned around just as Jasmine and Harold arrived.

"Whoa, you guys caught up already? I better get a move on," the musician said, dashing back down to his own kart as his friends disembarked with their paint cans.

"Nice shortcut, mate," Jasmine told Harold, who grinned proudly and ran into the side of the mount. Jasmine smiled at him, then tagged a simple purple O on the rock face.

/

The scene moved next to another rocky peak, a slope cut into the side and several pines dotted around the landscape. A sharp panting filled the air as the camera panned up to the large totem pole standing at the summit, where Noah was, with great difficulty, scaling the side.

"Okay," he told himself as he struggled to get a foothold and haul himself up another couple inches, "that last-second extra landmark is extra crappy, but I'm still in the lead! Just a little bit more and I'm actually gonna win this!"

The sound of engines drew his attention downward along with the camera. Courtney and Zoey had arrived at the base of the pole, quickly jumping out of their karts and dashing over to start their climb.

"Sorry ladies," Noah called down at them, "but I'm afraid you're too late! I've got this one in the bag."

"Hah! I'll be back in my kart before a pencil-armed little geek like you even reaches the top!" Courtney countered harshly.

"Whoa, take it easy!" Zoey told her. "I know it's a competition, but there's no need to be so mean about it. Can't we all just keep being friends?"

"Look, honey," Noah said while continuing his climb, "I'm fine being friendly with you and the others. But Little Miss Type A down there already proved how much she cares about friendship when she asked Spider-Izzy to go after Gwen and Trent."

Courtney gasped in indignation. "Excuse me, but you wanted to get rid of them too!"

"Yeah, if I had to!" Noah replied. "And last I checked I didn't have to last time, so I just let the other team decide!"

"And how did that work out for you, huh?" Courtney asked in a scathing tone. "They voted for you, and it was your immunity statue that caused Gwen to go home instead."

"Oh yeah, because I totally knew who was gonna go home when I played that thing," Noah replied, rolling his eyes. "Oh wait, no, that was you! I was just protecting myself, you were the one who went out of your way to try and get one of your friends voted off!"

"I...I was just trying to protect myself too!" Courtney spluttered.

"Yeah, and what a great job you've done of it," Noah said as he finally reached the top of the totem, which was carved like an eagle's head. "So good, in fact, that once I win I'm going to vote for you to go home!"

Courtney gave out another indignant gasp as Noah began to shake his can of spray paint. She narrowed her eyes and growled, then threw her own can of paint at the boy in a fit of rage. It hit him in the head just as he started spraying, knocking him off the pole and ricocheting onto the top of the eagle's head. Noah landed with a groan on his back on the ground, his can of paint by his side.

"Hah!" Courtney barked with laughter as she reached the top and quickly tagged her A+ over a small black dot, all that Noah had been able to tag before his fall.

"Seriously, Courtney, what is your deal?!" Zoey asked with great concern, still climbing up the totem pole. "Why can't we just have a nice, friendly competition?"

/

A flash took the scene to another part of the woods, where Harold, Jasmine, and Trent were all racing one another with fairly content smiles on their faces. Trent laughed triumphantly as he took the lead, only for Jasmine to quickly regain it with a smirk and a "See you later, mate!" She, in turn, was cut off by Harold again, who ramped out of the forest itself to get back in front.

"No, see you later!" he quipped to her, driving off with a confident smirk that was shared by his two friends as they closed the gap he'd created.

/

"Look," Courtney told Zoey in a condescending tone as the shot cut back to the two of them hanging on to the second totem down on the pole, a winking monkey-like head with the bird's wings, "being all friendly with one another is all well and good early on, but at some point you have to make a decision that puts yourself above everyone else. And seeing how everyone turned on me the moment they found out I made a decision like that proves that we were never really friends to begin with."

She began to climb down again, and Zoey kept watching her rather than moving up to tag the pole. "Well, maybe if you just apologized to everyone-"

Courtney cut her off with a fierce glare. "Why should I apologize when I did nothing wrong?!" she demanded. Zoey was left speechless, and so Courtney huffed and dropped the rest of the way down the pole. She landed right next to Noah as the boy was finally about to get back on his feet, only for the sudden appearance for his teammate to startle him back onto his back.

He groaned in aggravation, and Courtney ran off with the camera following her. Her determined scowl faltered after a few seconds, and she briefly looked back over her shoulder with a look of sadness.

xxx

"Okay, so maybe that wasn't the best move in terms of long-term strategy," Courtney admitted in the outhouse confessional. "But honestly, who does Zoey think she is asking me to apologize, especially when I've already made it clear that I regret not being more clear when I was dealing with Izzy. I do feel guilty about Gwen going home, but there's nothing I can do about it now. All any of us can do is keep moving forward however we can."

She paused, let out her breath, and allowed her expression to fall into sadness. "There's no turning back for me..."

xxx

The footage skipped ahead a little ways, now showing three go-karts parked at the base of the totem pole with Trent and Harold climbing up it. The background music turned light yet ominous and was joined by the sound of another engine approaching – an open-roofed jeep driven by Chef with Chris riding shotgun.

"And the winner of Grand Chef Auto is...," he said, standing and smiling and spreading his arms before Jasmine suddenly landed on the ground and got his attention. He looked around in blank confusion, then asked "Hey, where is everyone?"

"Going for that last landmark, obviously," Jasmine told him, jumping into her kart and speeding off as Trent landed on his feet, and moments later Harold landed on his chest.

"Yeah, man, the one you added at like the last minute?" Trent told the host before hopping into his gold-kart and speeding off as well.

"You'd think you would've remembered that," Harold finished with a cough as he pushed himself back onto his feet and hurried back to his kart.

Chris raised an eyebrow in confusion and scratched his head. "What last landmark?" he asked with growing worry, Chef whistling nonchalantly while the music peaked dramatically. The host picked up a GPS map of his own and gasped, the camera moving over his shoulder to show the screen: all six player icons were heading towards the fourth flashing point, with Courtney and Zoey in front, Noah a little bit behind them, and the other three right behind him.

"Mount Chrismore!" Chris exclaimed in shock and growing rage, shaking his fist and uttering "Scarlett!"

"That Scarlett is one eeeeeevil girl," Chef said.

"Drive!" the host demanded as the music trilled angrily. "We have to terminate this challenge with extreme prejudice!"

Chef promptly pressed on the gas, accelerating the jeep so quickly that Chris lost his balance and fell backward into the jeep's cargo bed.

/

The music was low and ominous as the scene moved to Mount Chrismore, the camera panning down to show Courntey arriving hastily with Zoey right behind.

"Courtney, wait!" the indie girl shouted, scrambling forward and extending an arm as the ex-CIT jumped out of her own kart and raced towards the concrete face. "Please! I just wanna...wanna..." She faltered as the other young woman began to climb.

"Wanna what," Courtney asked sharply, glaring down at the braided girl, "distract me from climbing? Nice try, but I'm not gonna give up so easily. And I'm not stupid, either. Noah made it perfectly clear that if I lose, I'm going home for sure. I'm not letting you win this challenge instead of me."

"I don't care about the challenge!" Zoey yelled, throwing her can of spray paint to the ground and startling Courtney.

The ex-CIT quickly narrowed her eyes in suspicion, however. "So what, you expect me to believe that you care about me? Don't make me laugh. We were never on the same team! We barely know each other!"

"Maybe so," Zoey replied, "but I know Trent, and I care about him. And...," her anger began to fade into concern, "I'm worried. You really hurt him, Courtney! And I have a really bad feeling about what'll happen to both of you because of it."

Courtney stared at her for a second with her eyes wide and her mouth slightly agape. Then, at the sound of an approaching engine, her face snapped back into a look of absolute determination and she began to climb Mount Chrismore once again.

Zoey sighed and slumped onto her knees in defeat as Noah ran up. "Seriously?" he said in exasperation, his wide eyes locked onto his former teammate. "Did you even try to stop her?" he asked the fallen redhead.

"I just...wanted her to make up with Trent," Zoey said despondently.

"Well a fat lot of good that's done any of us," Noah told her harshly. "Guess it's up to me, now...," he muttered, drawing back his arm, taking aim, and throwing his can of paint at the back of Courtney's head.

It hit the mark easily, earning a pained "Owww...," and a dirty look from Courtney as she rubbed where she'd been hit. "What was that for?"

"I don't know," Noah answered scathingly, "why did you bean me back at the totem pole?" He bent down to pick up his can again, and the shot cut up to Courtney as she growled and continued to climb. Seconds later Noah's can struck again, this time hitting her in the fingers as she reached out for the next handhold.

"Stop that!" she shot downward.

"No!" came Noah's off-screen reply.

The shot cut back down to the base of the mountain as Noah moved to catch his can again.

"Noah, seriously, you should stop," Zoey told him. "This isn't helping."

"Uh, I'm pretty sure it is," Noah replied, drawing his arm back for another throw only for Zoey to grab hold and stop him. "Excuse me? Do you want her to win?" he asked her in disbelief.

"Well...," Zoey replied uncertainly, prompting Noah to yank his arm out of her grasp.

"Look, honey, she knocked me down, so it's only fair that I return the favor," Noah told her, preparing his throw once more.

"Noah," Courtney called from off-screen, "you better think twice before throwing that at me again!" Utterly undeterred, Noah threw the can anyway, and a metallic clonk was followed by a yelp of pain from Courtney. "NOAH!" she roared down angrily.

"Even if she's being stubborn about it," Noah griped.

"Noah, please," Zoey said, putting a hand on the boy's shoulder.

He gave her a sharp and critical look. "Do you seriously think Trent is gonna like you trying to be nice to the person who got his girlfriend booted?"

Zoey looked taken aback, but before she could answer she and Noah were distracted by the sound of two approaching engines. The shot cut outward as they turned their heads, showing Trent and Jasmine driving up and Courtney shaking her can of paint in preparation.

"Oh man," the musician said, looking up with dread on his face as he stepped out of his kart. "Cournteny can't seriously be about to win this thing? Can't anybody stop her?"

Jasmine put a hand on his shoulder and shook her head. "Sorry, but it doesn't look like it. I'm afraid we'll just have to get her next time.

"Aww, noooo...," Trent groaned, sagging in despair.

"More importantly," Jasmine said, looking up and around, "what happened to Harold? I lost track of him a little while ago and I'm starting to get worried."

She was answered by the honking of a horn, and the music increased its pace as the camera zoomed out, then panned over to a slope on the right that Harold was driving up with a wild and confident grin on his face. "Never fear, Harold's here!" he declared as his kart launched into the air. "Thanks to a properly navigated shortcut," he added as an aside to the camera before a piercing scream got his attention and called forth a scream of his own.

The source of the first scream was Courtney, who was forced to let go of her lone handhold and drop before she was hit by Harold's go-kart. The dweeb, meanwhile, had raised his arms to cover his eyes out of fear, and by sheer luck had gotten hooked on Mount Chrismore's concrete nose and pulled from his kart. He grinned once he realized what had happened, and quickly made his tag – a giant blue Ω across the monument's face.

"Yes!" he cheered as he fell down to the ground, the camera lingering on his work as Noah, Trent, and Jasmine whooped with joy from off-screen.

"My face!" Chris exclaimed when he arrived moments later, the shot cutting to the jeep squealing to a stop next to Harold as the music faded into a very soft trill. "My beautiful fifty-foot concrete face! Did you have to stop at the drive-thru?" he scolded Chef, giving him a light slap on the back of the neck. The hulking man just took a long sip from the drink he was holding.

"Excuse me, Chris?" Harold spoke up form behind the jeep, now on his feet and dusting himself off. "Should I make my vote now, or wait until the marshmallow ceremony?"

"No, no vote for you," Chris told him while stepping off the jeep, putting a hand out to keep the dweeb from getting too close.

"But why?" Harold asked in confusion.

"You fell for an obvious scheme from Scarlett," the host explained as he and Chef walked towards the vandalized landmark.

"Actually," the evil genius corrected to a sharp note in the music and a shocked look from the two adults, "I wasn't the one who did that, though I appreciate that it brought you all here." The camera panned to the right as she rose up from behind the cover of some rocks at the base of the mountain, took out a remote control, and pressed the button with an evil smirk.

An explosion shook the area and dust swept over all that were present as the top half of Mount Chrismore was detonated, leaving it jagged and hollow above its smirk.

"That I take full credit for," Scarlett said as debris rained down around her.

"But why?" Chris asked in despair.

Scarlett tapped her chin in thought for a moment then shrugged. "A mixture of hatred, boredom, access to a site that a person with your ego would clearly be upset about losing, and an excess of on-site explosives," she explained. She descended into a cackling laughter that was quickly joined by Chef, the man even raising an arm and whooping in delight before noticing the glare that Chris was leveling at him. He crossed his arms and started to grumble, the host taking a deep and thoroughly annoyed breath before stepping forward.

"So yeah," he told the campers, Harold walking up behind him, "the real, final landmark was the totem pole. So, immunity and today's sole vote goes to the first person who completely tagged it: Courtney."

"Yes!" the girl in question said, pumping her fist in excitement. The other five campers groaned and palmed their faces in defeat and disappointment.

"You have until tonight's ceremony to think things through," Chris told her, "so use your time wisely."

"Oh I will," Courtney said with a sly smirk and glance at the others, who suddenly became nervous.

xxx

"Who to choose, who to choose," Courtney opened her confessional, a piece of paper in one hand and a pencil in the other that she was tapping against her lower lip. "The problem is they're all such good choices. That's why I'm making a chart to rank them in order of how much of a threat they pose." She flipped over the paper, and the camera immediately cut in close to the top to show a crude drawing of Jasmine with a red X over it and some illegible writing to the right.

"Jasmine's the strongest physically, but since she did so poorly in today's challenge I'm sure I'll get another chance to vote her out," Courtney said. "And while Harold's annoying and has gotten a bunch of wins," the shot panned down to an image of the dweeb, also crossed out with a red X, with a dunce cap on his head and his finger up his nose, "those were mostly flukes so I'm sure I can crush him when it comes down to it. Then there's Trent," the shot panned down to the third drawing on the page, which had been circled in red with a line leading to a red question mark, though the image appeared to have been crossed out as well. "As long as he's in the game it's gonna be hard to make allies. Buuuuttt...," she seemed to falter for a moment, "well, I just don't think I really need to get rid of him right now. It's not because of Gwen or anything," she hastily explained, "it's just that if he really does start losing it because I'm around, I might be able to convince the other to get rid of him instead of me."

"That just leaves Zoey, and Noah...," Courtney continued, tapping her chin thoughtfully with her pencil once again. "Zoey's little friendship speeches really got on my nerves today," the shot cut back in to a close-up of her chart, this time focusing on a dopey-looking drawing of Zoey that had a red circle and question mark but no X, "but Noah hit me with a can of spray paint. Repeatedly." The camera panned down to a picture of Noah with devil horns and a rat tail, also with a red circle and questiona mark. "Plus, as the only remaining member of the original Toxic Rats apart from myself, he really should have had my back out there."

She tapped her chin a few more times, took another look at her chart, then shrugged. "Hmm. Well, there's still plenty of time to rethink things. And make new charts, for that matter. I should probably dispose of this one so one of the others doesn't catch me with it."

She crumpled the chart up into a wad, tossed it at the toilet, and walked out unaware that it had merely gotten wedged in the seat.

xxx

A plodding, mysterious tune rose up as the scene cut outside to a long-distance shot of Courtney exiting the outhouse confessional. The camera panned to the left just enough to show Noah leaning against the side of the mess hall, his eyes narrowed in annoyance. "It's about time," he muttered. "It figures she'd forget that the rest of us might wanna use the thing..."

xxx

A bit of static immediately cut the footage back to the confessional camera as Noah walked into the outhouse and immediately noticed the crumpled-up wad of paper wedged in the seat. He made a noise of disgust, then broke off a few pieces of toilet paper and used them to pick it up. He narrowed his eyes in suspicion, then held it up for a closer look. "Wait a minute...," he muttered, "what is this?" With a hesitant look he pinched the other end of the wad, and pulled it open.

His eyes went wide with shock, but it quickly faded into angry desperation as he scanned the page. "Crap," he said. "If I'm reading this right it looks like Princess can't decide between me and Zoey." He crushed the paper in his hand, and turned a glare towards the outhouse door. "Well then, I guess I'm gonna have to raise the heat under that tea kettle full of rage she has and point her steam in the right direction."

xxx

The music turned dark and ominous as the static cut away to what appeared to be the rear window of a cabin room. It was open, and slowly Noah rose up from below it just enough to look inside with wide, wary eyes. Apparently seeing nothing, he slowly stood then looked from side to side. Apparently seeing nothing once more, took out a small piece of paper, crumpled it into a ball, and tossed it through the window. It landed on the floor next to a bed that looked like it had been used recently, and when the shot cut back to the window Noah was already gone.

The camera turned around to show Courtney calmly entering the cabin, and the perspective moved to the side to show her walk up to the far beds and notice the wad of paper on the floor. Raising a brow in suspicion and curiosity she warily looked around her, then bent down and picked up the discarded paper.

She unfolded it, read it, then growled and crumpled it in one fist. "That little...!" she hissed angrily.

/

A few deep notes played as the footage flashed ahead to the bonfire ceremony, the six campers seated in the middle of the rows of stumps – Courtney, Zoey, and Harold in front; Noah, Trent, and Jasmine in back – with host and toxic-marshmallow-bearing assistant standing nearby.

"Alright," Chris began as another set of deep notes opened the standard trill of the elimination theme, "now that she's had plenty of time to think about it, it's time for Courtney to eliminate the player of her choice." He drew a finger across his throat, then put a hand to the side of his mouth and leaned in to the victor conspiratorially. "Choose Harold," he stage-whispered.

"Hey!" Harold immediately objected.

"Hmm, while that is tempting," Courtney said with a dark and sly smile, "I'm going to vote for that hypocrite Zoey."

Trent, Harold, Jasmine, and especially Zoey gasped. "What? Hypocrite?!" the braided indie girl repeated in shock and confusion. "What are you talking about?"

"Don't play dumb with me," Courtney said sharply, narrowing her eyes and taking out the piece of paper she had found. "I found this note, or memo, or diary page, or whatever it is by your bed. It told me all about your plan to get to the end and how you were gonna get all your so-called friends eliminated by playing them against each other. And after all that talk today about how you just wanted everyone to get along, it just makes me sick."

Zoey gasped in shock and disbelief. "I...I would never do anything like that," she said swiping the note out of Courtney's hand and quickly looking it over. "Heck, this isn't even my handwriting, it's not even close!"

Courtney sniffed in contempt. "Yeah, like I'll believe that obvious lie."

Jasmine took the note next. "I'm with Zoey," she said shortly after she started to read, earning a smile from her friend, "this doesn't sound like her at all. Some of these details are just wrong, like how the braids were her idea and not Lindsay's, or her plan to seduce Harold away from me which is just absurd on so many levels."

Harold nodded. "Absolutely," he said, taking the note from his crush. "If you ask me, I'd say this is a forgery designed to turn you against Zoey."

Courtney seemed taken aback. "Wha...what are you talking about?" she asked the others.

Noah snorted and grabbed the note next. "Daredevil boy means you fell for a pretty obvious trick," he said. "I mean seriously, a note just happens to turn up while you were trying to figure out who to vote for that makes someone out to be a terrible person in just the right way to tick you off? And you believed it?"

"Hey, didn't something like this happen back with Justin?" Zoey asked.

"And there was our wizard friend's fake alliance offer too," Noah added.

"Sounds to me like somebody's been passing notes to sway the vote," Jasmine told Courtney. "And you just fell for it hook, line, and sinker."

"Way to go, Courtney," Trent told the girl, who was growing nervous under everyone's looks.

"W-well...maybe so, but I'm not changing my vote," she said as the music transitioned into the sombre farewell theme.

"And that means the Toxic Marshmallow of Loserdom," Chris interrupted, bringing the eyes of the campers back to him, "goes to Zoey."

The glowing thing was presented to Zoey, who hung her head and sighed sadly.

/

"Well Zoey, it was nice knowin' ya!" Chris told the girl as the scene flashed ahead to them and Chef at the Hurl of Shame, the indie girl seated sadly in the catapult's bucket. "Well, not really," he smirked, "but you know how it is. Friendship can be so hard to figure out sometimes."

Just then, Trent and Harold and Jasmine and even Noah arrived at the end of the dock. "Sorry to see you go like this," Jasmine told her. "You were a great friend to all of us. You didn't deserve what happened."

"Thanks," Zoey told her with a small smile.

Harold nodded. "Yeah, it'll be a shame to have you gone. It was nice to have someone around who really got me."

Zoey's smile became a little broader. "Thanks. I really mean it."

"Well, I guess this is so long," Trent told her with a short but friendly wave. "And don't worry, I'll make sure to get back at Courtney for you."

Zoey's smile faded into a frown. "Wait, no-" was all she could say before Chef pulled the lever, flinging her screaming into the night sky.

"Welp, glad that's over," Chris smiled, watching her leave then turning back to the camera as the series' capstone theme began. "Who will be the next loser hurled?" he asked excitedly. "What humiliating challenges lie in store? And where will I build my next monument to me? Find out next time, on Total! Drama! Revenge, of the Island!"

(Fade to Credits)


Author's Note - Post Script

And there we have it, folks! The merge has happened, and the winner-takes-vote along with it. As I'm sure some of you were expecting, Courtney managed to save herself - but rather than vote for Jasmine the threat, Trent the enemy, or Noah the traitor, she votes for Zoey the annoyance after a bit of last-minute note-passing from Noah.

Zoey played her role well, I think - she learned some lessons about friendship, but when she tried to teach others it just blew up in her face. And thus, the final member of the canon season four cast has been eliminated.

Things are taking a turn, folks. Courtney's retreating into the darker parts of herself, while Trent is beginning to focus on revenge, and Noah is complicit with both of them. Jasmine and Harold are still basically the same as before, but who knows for how long...

And of course, Scarlett had her rather explosive cameo as predicted. Not much to say there, I think.

Next week we finally breach into double-digits...and for the first time, that actually means the season is approaching its conclusion! My oh my, I hope you're all looking forward to what's ahead.

Let me know all your thoughts, reactions, hopes, and predictions, and I'll see you all next week.

- Fangren


Appendix: TSROTI Eliminated Contestants

Cody - (13th Place)

Izzy - (RETURNED | Formerly AWOL)

Leonard - (12th Place)

Justin - (11th Place)

Lindsay - (10th Place)

Cameron - (9th Place)

Izzy - (Tied for 7th Place | Mutated, but captured)

Gwen - (Tied for 7th Place)

Zoey - (6th Place)