Disclaimer: I do not own FFVII or Mythbusters, and be careful of what you eat!
A/N Well… I did it. I finished Crisis Core and you have my utmost assurances it will make even the most staunch person cry. No spoilers, but today is as happy as I can make it, and I'd like to dedicate this chapter to SOLDIER First Class Zack Fair. A job well done Zack, a job well done indeed.
Zack looked around the lab curiously, he'd never taken a good look around it before and he honestly never had any notion to previously. However today was different, he'd been bored, he hadn't been sent on a mission in ages and it was driving him nuts. He'd been called down to the lab for a mako checkup but they said Hojo would be a few minutes late because he was needed down in another lab due to some sort of misconduct thing.
Not that Zack cared what the old windbag did, he sighed plopping down in a chair and looking the desk over. That was when he spotted it, the biggest jawbreaker he'd ever seen in his life sitting on Hojo's desk, completely untouched, it hadn't even left the wrapper yet. "Never knew the old windbag had a sweet tooth."
He picked it up examining it carefully, it looked safe enough but Zack had other ideas about what to do with it. He'd been watching a show on TV that had given him an idea about what he could do. All he needed was a microwave, "bingo, now we're in business." He smirked seeing a large microwave shaped device sitting on the far table.
Standing up he walked over to it curiously, "danger: do not put candy, poodles, small children, or crazy psychopaths in this device. Otherwise there will be consiqunces and a slight chance of ran on Tuesday, now back to Rodney with the sports." Zack scratched his head, "um okay…"
He stuck the jawbreaker in the bizarrely labeled microwave and shut the door setting the timer for two minutes on high. He walked around the room looking around some more before the beeper on the microwave went off. Taking a pair of tongs he carefully grabbed the plastic and set the jawbreaker back where he'd found it.
Hojo wandered in as Zack sat down in the chair putting his feet up on the desk. "Boy, you had better not have touched my jawbreaker."
"Oh I wasn't aware you liked candy," Zack replied innocently.
"Honestly your lucky I'm in a good mood or you'd be dropped in a pit of molten candy," Hojo replied opening the cooled plastic and taking the jawbreaker. Putting his teeth on it he bit down and the thing exploded in his face.
Zack, being the SOLDIER he was, dodged behind the chair before sitting up. Hojo was covered in molten candy and blood, "hey I thought you said I was gonna get covered in molten candy."
Hojo continued rolling around and screaming before a piece of shell lodged in his throat and he choked to death. Zack shrugged and headed downstairs to the SOLDIER offices. "Man some people can't appreciate the irony of the situation."
