AN: Sorry it's so late but what with coursework, revision and family, I've barely had a life these Christmas hols. Enjoy and the next bit will be up asap but may not be until the end of January
Oscar's POV
3 days later or at least what felt like 3 days later, she came back. The door was slammed open, hitting the wall with a bang and she strode in quickly, her heels clicking as she made her way to me. She grabbed my chin and held a torch up to my face. I blinked and closed my eyes away from the harshness of the light. She looked at me for what felt like forever with that stupid torch. I tried to open my eyes; I wanted to appear strong and defiant but I couldn't keep my eyes open, least of all keep her gaze.
"So Oscar. Oscar, Oscar!"
I looked at her and blinked as she took the light away from my eyes.
"That's better, now I can see just how much you squirm. I take it you're not going to tell me what I want to know?" She looked at me grinning like the Cheshire cat, as if she already knew what I was going to say. Yes I have seen both Alice in Wonderland films, and the 1985 TV production – Carol loves Alice in Wonderland, all of them. I noticed her staring at me again and scowled. Why couldn't she just leave me alone? I glared at her and shook my head, ignoring the ringing in my ears.
"Never," I muttered. "Not if you torture me with my deepest fears. I have nothing to lose."
"Except your life," she replied, snapping off the torch and clipping it to her belt.
I shook my head. "I don't think it's worth living anymore. You wouldn't know what it's like to be betrayed by someone you love."
"Of course I do. What do you think made me into a cold-blooded killer? We don't just fall of the conveyer belt you know."
I blinked. That was the first time she'd ever shown human emotions. Who knew? Maybe not everyone's as evil as mother. I chuckled. "You see, that's where you're wrong. You're forgetting about my mother."
She looked at me sadly. "She does still love you Oscar even –"
"Even though she's tried to kill me, frame me, hurt my friends? The list goes on."
"Even though she doesn't act like she does care. You and your father meant a lot to her. To lose him… Well, I know what it's like to lose someone you love."
"How could you? You're a SKUL agent. They don't have feelings. They're evil, pure evil. They don't care about anyone but themselves. If my mum really cared so much about me and my dad, then why did she leave me when he disappeared? If she loves me as much as you say, then why am I still here? If you had a heart, you'd let me go. Face it, you're just like the rest of them; evil, soulless and heartless."
"My heart was broken a long time ago and I swore I'd never love anything again," she said quietly.
"Point proven," I replied, tugging at the chains. I was beginning to regret everything I'd said about her. I didn't want her to kill me, oh wait, what do I have to live for? Well I guess there is Amy, and Carol and everyone. Then there's Rose, Carrie and Frank… I owe my life to MI9. I can't let SKUL know. I'm not going to be like my mother, ever.
I looked up at her, feeling the room go suddenly chilly. Her eyes were cold. I think maybe I said a little too much.
She grabbed hold of my chin, pulling me forward so that the chains began to cut into my skin. "You have no idea how heartless I can be. You want heartless, try this on for size." She let go, spun round on her heels and strode towards the doorway. She stopped at the door way, letting the remaining SKUL agents leave. She smiled maliciously at me, her teeth sparkling in the semi-darkness. "You know Oscar, a little bird in MI9 told me you are 'officially' scared of the dark." She laughed and unfortunately I could see where this was going. "I say 'officially' because it's on your file. Imagine the indignity. Everyone at MI9 knows about your little weakness. If you'd joined us, you wouldn't have that fear anymore. It would've been beaten out of you, along with any emotions and anything else that would have prevented you from being a top-notch SKUL agent, not some weak member of MI9. Poor little agent, scared of the nasty monsters that come out at night," she sneered. I gulped but tried to remain calm.
"Goodnight Oscar. Don't let the creatures of the night, gloom and dark get you. I'll come back to check on you in the morning, or at least what's left of you anyway." She laughed and snapped her fingers. The lone bulb in the room clicked off and she shut the door with a bang, leaving me all alone shrouded by black with only my mind.
Well at least there's no light to cast shadows in here. On the other hand, there's no light what so ever. I felt myself begin to panic. No, no, no panicking. It's fine, just a little darkness. There's nothing to worry about. From the far side of the room, I heard a low rumbling noise. It's a lion, or a bear, or a wolf, or a very large dog. Hang on, what? No, there's nothing else in the room. It's all in my head. A person's mind can be your greatest weapon. It can get you out of certain situations, but not this one. If I wasn't careful, my fears would get the better of my mind and then I'd lose my head. I tried to relax but it's a little hard when you're hanging from a wall in chains, in dark, on your own with your mind and strange noises. I began to panic again and I could see… what could I see – nothing. My breathing became shallow and ragged, and I knew if I didn't calm down soon… Well I didn't want to think about that. Come on Oscar, they've taught you how to deal with panic attacks – remember your training. Think of your friends – Frank, Rose, Carrie, Amy and Kittie. Okay so I am still really cross with Kittie – I mean I can't believe she didn't tell me. I thought she could trust me. Even if I can't trust her anymore I can trust the others, I hope. Frank is a really good leader and without him, I'd probably be dead by now. I guess I am a little too rash sometimes. No, Frank will organise everyone to come and rescue me. He's always calm in a crisis and he'll sort it all out so that I'm rescued quickly without SKUL knowing before it's too late. He'll make sure Rose and Carrie know what they're doing. Kittie won't be there but then would she really care?
I wonder if Frank would come in his caretaker guise. Maybe not as that might compromise his cover but he might tie his hair back. It's really starting to get long. Luckily for him, he has no mother telling him how long he can or can't have his hair. Maybe I should grow my hair long so I can tie it back. It'd be out of the way and I've always wanted to see what it's be like to have long hair. But then I don't want it to look like I'm copying Frank and for the others to laugh at me. He's a good man, someone I want to be like but then some people think I think of him as more than just a friend. He is just a friend, a good friend who's been helping me come to grips with my parent situation. Rose and Carrie are lucky they have nice parents. Rose is so clever – she'll get me out of here. She's lucky her parents put her learning above other things. That's what makes her a good spy – her cleverness. With her, Frank and Carrie, I'll be out of here before long. That is, if they ever realise I'm missing.
The silence of the room suddenly dawned on me. I realised what is meant by the old cliché. Silence really is deafening. That must be why the cell was built so far underground. Not only can no light get in but there are no sounds, not even from the world above.
SKUL may be good, or rather evil, but Oscar, remember, you're much better than them. Tried to think of something happy. Happy. What could I think about that is happy? Well there's Kittie, but… She's not worth even thinking about anymore. I miss her, no I miss how things used to be between us, before I learnt she'd lied to me about her life. I thought I actually had a chance with someone like her. I thought she was honest, someone I could trust. Turns out I was wrong. She's just like everyone else; she let me down. And now I'm stuck here in the darkness. Why did I have to think about that again? At least this time, instead of loud blaring noise, there's nothing so I can hear myself think. But last time, that wasn't true darkness. The inky black that surrounded me is exactly that: black, nothing. I had to admit this was one of the worst situations I had been in for a long time. All I can do is try to relax, hope and never tell. I just had to hope that I would be rescued, and soon but I knew my team, or most of it anyway. They would find me, I just had to be strong in the mean-time. I won't let them break me, I won't let them know. The worst thing they could possibly do right now is bring Kittie here to laugh in my face, to laugh at the stupid MI9 agent who really thought she was honest, but even now I'm beginning to think she isn't a SKUL agent. Murdaug did look annoyed that their plan was ruined, and now I think about it, why would he trip Kittie causing her to reveal who she was? No, maybe she is one of us but that doesn't make up for what she did. I sighed, knowing things were only going to get worse, somehow. But I'll never tell them anything. I will never hand over MI9 secrets, not even about Kittie/Honey. I would rather die, not that I have much left to live for. After all, silence is golden. Damn it, why did I have to think that?
Kittie's POV
I sat down on the sofa in my room. I couldn't believe what I'd just read. I picked up the piece of paper I'd dropped and read it again, and again and again. It couldn't be true. Frank was… wrong, completely wrong. But why would he be wrong? He wouldn't tell me something like this if it wasn't true. I couldn't send Johny in to ask, he'd been well busted at the poison-pill raid but at least they didn't know who he really was. Wait, wait, Jack. I could ask Jack. I picked up my phone hoping Jack would get the message alright. Two words, that's all I said, two words: Oscar, there? Now I had to wait to see if it was true. I prayed to God it wasn't true. I didn't want my dream to be right, I didn't want Frank to be right. I never wanted to set foot in that place again. I'd been there once when I was younger under a different alias when I'd been working with Michael. I'd had such a fit over Michael having been captured by SKUL, that our director Richard Marshall had sent us in, rescued Michael, caused SKUL to shut down for a couple of years or at least lay-low and promptly he retired having 'had enough of the youth of today'. I'd seen how they'd treated Michael and he was 9 then. I didn't want to think about what they'd do to Oscar if he was there.
My phone buzzed and I picked it up gingerly, hoping I and everyone else was wrong. It was from Jack and I my hand shook as I opened the message. One word lit up the screen. One word which nearly made me cry. Yes. I couldn't believe it. I didn't want to believe it. I sat back on the sofa, my head in my hands, fidgeting. I can't stay still, not after this. I jumped to my feet and began pacing back and forth across the foyer. How could this happen? How could I not realise? It's not my fault, or is it? Why me, why today? I picked up Charlie from his swinging seat, making him jump when it stopped. He grizzled and I realised I shouldn't have woken him up but I just needed to hold him, to make sure he's safe. I walked around with him, and it soothed him. I watched his small eyes close as he nodded off back to sleep and I smiled slightly. He's so young and innocent. I can see mum in him, the gold curly locks that may stay like that. I wondered if mum had to go through anything like this. I can't be the first spy to lose a friend to SKUL no less. Not dead, he's not dead. They won't kill him yet, would they? Oh look, now I'm back to worrying. I strode back and forth, desperately trying to think of something and then I stopped. Mum. She did go through this, but the other way around. She was kidnapped and dad rescued her. Aww that's sweet, but totally off the point. Wait, didn't she use to say she'd kept all her old diaries, including the ones from when she was younger? A-ha! Solution! At last; I was getting a little desperate. Carefully I put Charlie back in his swinging chair. He fussed a little but closed his eyes again and went back to sleep. As I turned away towards the door, I snatched up the baby monitor, clipped it to my trousers and left, shutting the door behind me.
I raced up to my parents room that lay untouched for nearly 10 weeks now. No-one dared to go in there, or touch any of the things, except me. I refused to let Uncle in there, or any of the staff and now only I had the key. Seeing as I was always around and there was no way now that I'd enter into a situation that could get me killed, anyone who wanted to go and sit in their room and remember them could. I pulled the chain out from under my jumper and lifted it over my head. The key dangling off it was large and dull iron, nothing like the new-fangled card slots that Uncle had persuaded my mum to install in the newer buildings – she drew the line at the original buildings that my great-great grandparents had built but she asked Red our chief stable-hand and master techie to sort it all out and he did, much to Uncle Tristan's annoyance. I smiled, realising I wasn't the only one who didn't really like Uncle Tristan; his own sister didn't like him that much, or maybe it was his attitude and his arrogance. I struggled with the key in the lock, dropped it and cursed. I scrabbled around on the carpet, trying to find it.
Michael walked past whistling, stopped and laughed when he saw me crawling on my hands and knees. "Whatcha doing Kit?"
I glared at him. "Trying to find the key to mum and dad's room."
"Right. I thought you were looking after Charlie."
"I am. He's in the nursery. I've got the monitor and I shut the door. I need to get into their room. It's important."
"Why? What's up?"
"Michael, oh Michael! They've got Oscar, SKUL have got Oscar. That's why he hasn't been about for the last 2 days. I don't know what to do but mum, mum was kidnapped once and dad rescued her. I thought they could help me. You know she kept all her diaries and she'd have written about it. She wrote about everything in her diaries."
Michael knelt down beside me. "Kittie, you know she didn't keep her old diaries in their room. She never wanted any of us to see them. She would have hidden them."
I looked at him confused, then shook my head. "You forget brother dear, that she knew I would have looked for them and that someday I would need them so she would have put them somewhere where no-one could get to them except if things happened and then we would have a key, which I do. They're in her room, I'm sure of it. Please, let me have a look."
Michael sighed. "Alright, if you can save him, then I promise I'll never say a bad word about him again."
I frowned at him. "When have you said a bad thing about him?"
Michael smiled sheepishly. "Well, you know what I mean. If you're willing to go into SKUL to rescue him, to look at mum's diaries, well then you must love him." He held up the key.
I smiled and threw my arms around his neck. "Thank you." I let go and pushed the key into the lock. As I turned it, it clicked and I smiled again. I pushed open the door, nervous at the thought of what was behind there. I shook my head. I didn't need the ghosts of the past preventing me from doing what was needed. Carefully I stepped over the doorway and into the room. It looked how it always did, tidy but with the sense that someone lived or had lived in it. I stopped and looked back at Michael. "I do love him and I don't want to lose him like I'm losing everyone else. I am not going to let SKUL have him, not now, not ever." I meant every word, I realised, noting the sheer determination.
Michael smiled back at me. "I know. If there's anything I can do…"
"I'll let you know. Thank you." I turned to go further into the room and stopped. "Do you think you could keep Uncle busy? I don't want him to know I've been in here. As far as he's concerned, the key is lost."
"Of course. Bennington-Smythe?"
"Bennington-Smythe, but our one okay?"
"Okay. And Kit, good luck."
I smiled sadly as he shut the door, not daring to think that this could be my one chance at rescuing Oscar. I walked deep into the room, past the bed and towards my mum's chest of drawers. I had inherited her habit of hiding things in drawers – hers more because she'd spent almost 2 years in a children's home after a huge car accident that my grandparents had been in, resulting in them seriously ill and my Nana in a coma. She'd learnt pretty quickly that if she wanted anything secret, she had to hide it. It wasn't that the kids there were bad, it was more that in a care-home, nothing is private or secret. In my case, I hid things away from my nosey brothers. I pulled open the first drawer with bated breath, after all whatever was in here were my mum's secrets and I shouldn't be going through them, but I didn't have much of a choice. I rummaged around in the drawer but didn't find anything unusual. I closed it carefully and opened the next one. Under the layer of clothes were a bunch of wrapped up presents. I looked at them sadly. It would have been their wedding anniversary 2 weeks after they died and my mum never got to give her presents to dad. I took them out and placed them on the bed, not sure of what to do with them. I could either put them back and leave them there, or I could unwrap them and take them down to the cemetery. I decided to put them back, at least for now where they belonged as they hadn't gone where they were supposed to yet. I closed the drawer carefully and opened the last one, hoping that I wasn't wrong. I didn't have the time or the willpower to search their whole room and mess everything up. I searched through the drawer, becoming more and more frantic when I didn't find anything diary shaped.
There was nothing there. I was wrong. I closed my eyes and sat back on the bed. I couldn't do anything to save him. I didn't know what to do and my only hope was gone. I took a deep breath, stood up and slowly closed the drawer. I walked towards the door and stopped. Wait a second, she was a spy. She wouldn't have left anything in her drawers if anyone could search through them as easily as I had just done. I dropped to my knees and stuck my head under the bed. Underneath were a bunch of boxes, several pairs of shoes, and now my head. I sighed and looked up at the bed springs, ready to pull my head out. I frowned, then smiled. She had tucked the diaries into the underside of the bed, knowing that people rarely ever look up.
I wriggled under, pulled the diaries out and rolled out from under the bed. Quickly I pushed the diaries under my jumper left the room and locked it. Hurriedly I ran over to my room, hoping no-one noticed where I had just come from.
I sat down on my bed next to Charlie in his rocker and stared at him wondering how he could sleep so easily when everyone around him was rushing around in a frenzy. I took out the books and laid them out in front of me. There were 6 diaries in total, all different sizes and colours but they didn't have dates on or anything. I picked up a thick red one. Carefully I opened it up and looked at it. The writing was small, much smaller than mine, but neat and curly if a bit faded. I squinted and looked at the first entry. She hadn't dated it but from the first line, I knew it wasn't the one I was looking for.
I flicked through the book until I found a date and I frowned.
Dad came home from work early again today and we went to the doctors. It's not good. I don't know what to do and they're not even sure it will work. They say there'll be side-effects to the treatment but… I don't know if it will work. I hope it will.
I frowned. I didn't remember her ever mentioning having to go to the doctors when she was… she must have been 15. I flicked back a couple of pages, trying to find out what was going on.
January 14th 1981
Today when Cessy and I went riding, I fell and it really hurts. The doctors can't see anything wrong with me, just a bruise so I hope it's nothing. I guess in all fairness I shouldn't have gone out riding in the snow but I just couldn't help it.
I flicked forward another page.
January 19th 1981
There's still a bruise but well what do you expect. The pains gone but… Can't wait until prom! I just hope I can get Dan to take me. He's so cute with his chocolate hair and deep brown eyes… He's just so! Cess knows what I mean. When he looks at you he just makes you all gooey inside. And the thing is, he may be popular and part of the 'it' crowd but he's really nice. He's not like any of the other boys. He's just so kind and unlike Mark, he doesn't beat up any of the unpopular kids. He helps them if he can. He's just such a hero – so kind and actually seems to care about everyone, not just the popular kids. He's brave and clever too. I wonder if he's going to be a soldier. All this talk of fighting scares me, but then I think of Dan again. He's just so cute!
I laughed at just how silly my mum sounds. She was never like that as an adult but then I guess all teenagers are prone to being silly and childish. Oh gosh, I sound like my grandmother! Argh, mini freak out. I flicked on again near the page I'd first opened it onto. But she may have hit on something there. I wonder if he was a spy then? I can tell she wasn't at that age. She must have been recruited later.
March 28th 1981
It's been over two months now and the bruise, it won't go away so mum and dad are taking me to the doctors to see if they can find why. I just… I haven't felt… right but I hope it's nothing serious. I'm scared that it's going to be but fingers crossed. In other news, Dan's been talking to me a lot more recently. I've seen him around school and he's come and sat with Cessy, Luce and I a couple of times in the last week or two, I can't really remember. My mind's on other things at the moment, like me being unwell. I don't know what it is. Maybe I'm just love struck as Nana says but I don't think it's that. I like Dan, I really do but… Boys are confusing creatures.
I nodded in agreement. Boys are confusing creatures. I'm glad I'm not the only one who's been confused by boys, well boy. I always understood Robin but I don't know if that's because I grew up with him or that he was much easier to read. Oscar is sweet but even though I'm beginning to think I don't know him as well as I thought, I still like him. And it's nice to know that my mum went through the same thing, although I don't think the guy she liked and did like her stopped liking her because she didn't tell him something. At least I hope.
March 29th 1981
My hand shakes as I write this but I'm scared, really scared. We were sat in the waiting room and I just flicked through a magazine that was there, waiting for someone to come and get us. The nurse called us in, smiling and I took my mum's hand. The nurse led us to a small blank-white room and told us to take a seat and the doctor would be in any minute. My mum sat next to me and my dad stood behind. My mum took my hand as the doctor walked in. He was tall with dark hair and bright blue eyes, the only colour among his crisp white coat and shirt, black trousers, shoes and tie. He looked up and smiled at me. "Ah, Sarah-Beth." "Sarah" I replied automatically. No-one calls me Sarah-Beth. I looked up at him nervously, waiting to see what he had to say. "Um, yes, Sarah then. We've just got your test results back and I'm afraid you're really not very well. We're not sure quite what it is at the moment but your blood cells aren't behaving as they should, neither are your other cells. We think it may be leukaemia and if it is, well we have a treatment lined up which is 60% likely to work and return your cells to normal. But don't worry, we're going to take good care of you."
"Cells, cells, cells. What is all this talk about cells? And what makes you think I have leukaemia? Why are you not sure?" I asked exasperatedly, not quite understanding what he was saying. I wish he'd just talk to me in English.
"You're not well Sarah, but as I just said, we're going to take care of you. We think it may be leukaemia but we aren't definitely sure. We'd like to run some more tests to determine the exact problem but – "
Mum stood up angrily and faced the doctor. I fought the urge to laugh, knowing that this was a serious situation. "When exactly do you plan on doing these tests? You're acting as though Sarah isn't a real person. She's a human being the same as you or I, not some lab rat for you to run tests on. She has school and her horse-riding, as well as her job," She asked icily, glaring at him. You go mum, I said mentally, not daring to say it aloud.
"That's all very well Ma'am but these tests are important. I'm sure we can schedule these tests around your daughter's erm, hectic life."
"Very well. We will let you know when she is available and will book something then."
"But we would like to start the tests as soon as possible."
"And when it is possible, we will book an appointment." With that, my mum picked up her hand bag, grabbed my hand and pulled me out of the door. As we stepped through the doors of the waiting room, flanked by my dad with the rather puzzled doctor left standing in his examination room, I burst out laughing, much to my mother's annoyance. She scolded me then looked up as the doors were flung open by the doctor. "Please Mrs Harper, we'd like to explain things to you and your daughter in much more detail."
"Well, you can explain it over the phone then when we book an appointment or get someone competent to explain it as I don't understand why you do not know for definite and there is only a 60% chance of the therapy that you want to try of working. If you can find someone who can explain it simply then we will bring in our daughter for tests and therapy, if we decide to go through with it. Now, we are leaving as I have things to do and Sarah has homework to do. Good day to you Doctor whoever you are as you didn't even tell us your name." She stormed out of the building with me in tow and my father shaking his head. I laughed all the way up the road to the bus stop, having looked back and seen his face through the window and the whole of the waiting room and receptionists wondering what on earth had been going on. It didn't actually hit me until I got home just how serious this was. If it is leukaemia then… I don't want to think about that but I know I'm scared.
I frowned at the diary. My mum was ill? She'd said something about being in hospital when she was younger but I didn't realise it was serious. I turned over the page and saw that there hadn't been many entries, at least not very long ones. There were a few short ones which said Tests today. Scared. Feel very tired. I don't know what I'm going to do when this doesn't work.
The next one scared me a lot.
May 14th 1981
I've been on therapy for nearly 2 months now and when I woke up this morning I finally saw the effects of it. There was hair on my pillow when I woke up. I admit I screamed and brought in mum but she was the one most upset by it. She cried and cried and I just held her. I was worried, really worried. Two days ago, Dan finally asked me to the prom. I admit it was something I'd been dreaming of for ages and recently I'd been having daydreams of us dancing at prom, with my hair blowing gently in the wind as we danced outside in a gazebo away from all the noise and the crowds. But now I don't think that's going to happen. Would he really want to take me to the prom if I didn't have any hair? Doctor Wrathbone said it could be a side-effect and I'd hoped it wouldn't happen but now it has. But I can still dream and who knows, he might still take me.
I couldn't believe this. Would he really turn her down because she had no hair? I frowned, thinking just how like a song this was. How did it go again?
Sara Beth is scared to death
To hear what the doctor will say
She hasn't been well
Since the day that she fell
And the bruise it just won't go away
So she sits and she waits with her mother and dad
And flips through an old magazine
'Til the nurse with a smile stands at the door
And says "Will you please come with me?"
Sara Beth is scared to death
Cause the doctor just told her the news
Between the red cells and white
Something's not right
But we're gonna take care of you
Six chances in ten it won't come back again
But with the therapy we're gonna try
It's just been approved it's the strongest there is
But I think we caught it in time
Sara Beth closes her eyes
And she dreams she's dancin' around and around
Without any cares
And her very first love
Is holding her close
And the soft wind is blowing her hair
Sara Beth is scared to death
As she sits holding her mom
Cause it would be a mistake
For someone to take
A girl with no hair to the prom
For just this morning right there on her pillow
Was the cruellest of any surprise
Yet She cried when she gathered it all in her hands
The proof that she couldn't deny
Sara Beth closes her eyes
And she dreams she's dancin' around and around
Without any cares
And her very first love
Was holding her close
And the soft wind was blowing her hair
July 5th 1981
Well, here goes. It's quarter to 7 and Dan should be here any minute. He still said he'd take me, with or without hair. I am thrilled! I can't believe he would still go to prom with me. The treatment is finished but we just have to wait for my hair to grow back now. It's very, very short at the moment, barely an inch but mum got me a wig for this evening as she said it's not fair for me to be the only one without hair at my prom. The doorbell's just rung. I bet it's him. So excited! Wish me luck.
Wow! That was amazing. As I walked down the stairs, I watched Dan take off his hat and I gasped. Not just me either, everyone did, even Tristan and Si. Dan had shaved off his hair in the last 5 hours! I looked at him and reached out to touch his head, not sure if I was dreaming or not. He laughed and brought my hand to his head, running it over the top. I laughed and asked him why. He said "for you Sarah. It's not fair for you to be the only one without hair tonight." I looked over at mum and took the wig off. "In that case," I replied, "you can't be the only one either. Who cares what they think, I just won't wear the wig." It was an amazing evening and I just forgot about everything I'd been through over the last couple of months. I think Dan is the one. I hope so. I love him with all my heart and one day, I want to marry him.
I looked down at the diary. Dan, Dan. Why did that name ring a bell? I gasped, shocked at how dense I was being. This guy Dan was my father! I can't believe he'd do something like this for her. I wondered why the song was so accurate. It finished:
It's quarter to seven
That boy's at the door
Her daddy ushers him in
And when he takes off his cap they all start to cry
Cause this morning where his hair had been
Softly she touches just skin
They go dancin' around and around
Without any cares
And her very first true love
Is holding her close
And for a moment she isn't scared
Maybe, just maybe she was the inspiration for the song. They called her Sara Beth, with a different spelling of Sarah but then maybe she didn't want others to know. It's just too much of a coincidence for it to not be based on the diary entries. Maybe the song was a present for my mum, after all she loves the Rascal Flatts and it is the sort of thing that he would do as a romantic gesture for her. But I wasn't sure how that would help. I know I'm not going to give up on Oscar. I just hope he's going to be like dad. At heart, I'm a true romantic, just like mum I see. I flicked through further on and settled back against my headboard. I had no idea how long I was going to be here reading through the diaries until I found what I wanted. The least I could do was make myself comfortable when I invaded my mum's past.
