Part 2 - Alone
Turning her attention back to Rick, she heard Carl slip quietly out of the house just as she slipped quietly into the room.
'Rick,' she spoke softly. He didn't react or respond. Not wanting to startle him she called out to him again a little more loudly this time.
'Rick.'
Nothing.
She took a few more steps and moved to stand in front of him. Then she bent down to sit aikido before him.
His eyes were open, but they were far away. He was far away. She could still see the look of horror in them and she knew he was reliving the moment when they lost Glenn again and again in a vicious loop. Reaching out to him, she sought to break that loop by placing her hand on his.
But, he did the strangest thing. Before her hand met his, he said quietly but firmly, 'No.'
Confusion and a sense of darkness crept up her spine, but she didn't pay head to it and she reached out again, this time to touch his cheek.
'No!' Rick stated again, more firmly this time, and he moved his head back enough to avoid her touch.
A little tremor of panic now blended with Michonne's voice and she instinctively reached out both arms to him to capture his face and pull his eyes to her.
'Stop!' He rose to stand and her eyes followed him as her trembling arms moved around her center as though she had been kicked.
She didn't know how long she sat there or how long he stood before his next words. 'This world is filled with monsters,' he finally began. 'And you either become one or you get beaten by one.' His pain and grief had morphed into anger. 'You let me believe it could be different. YOU let me think this place held a future for us. But there is no future for us. There's no future for anyone.'
Rising to her feet, she was determined to get through this with him, reaching out for his hand again she started, nearly pleading. 'Rick, we can…'
'No, Michonne. No we can't.' And again he evaded her touch. It was becoming clear. He was not going to touch her or let her touch him. He was angry with her. Accusing her. And the shock of it stole her voice…and much more.
'What kind of life is this for Carl and Judith?' he was ranting and rambling now as he turned away from her to stare out the window. But those words. Those words shook her to her core. Those were Mike's words, not Rick's.
She walked up behind him but didn't risk a touch. Collecting herself and steadying her voice, she said as sternly as she could, 'We will figure this out, Rick. We will find a way to overcome this and we will build a future for them.'
He turned to her, looking at her as if she didn't get it. As if she was the one who had fallen off the rails. Maybe she was. Maybe she had. Because nothing prepared her for his next words.
'There is no We. I have to do this. I have to figure this out. Alone.'
Wide eyed and wounded she took a step back. Maybe she had approached him too soon. Maybe he needed more time to himself to process all that had happened.
'Okay, you need a little more time alone,' she said, soothingly. 'I'll sleep in Judith's..'
He turned his eyes to pierce her's. The steel blue was cold and penetrating, and the look stole the remaining words from her lips.
'Yes, I need to be alone. With my family.' There it was. And it felt like the cold end of Negan's bat against her chest. Causing her to flinch.
Her eyes now pooled with tears that had been waiting to fall since they spotted him and Carl on their knees at Negan's mercy. She had been held captive at gun point today. She had witnessed one of her best friends brutally murdered. And now, she had lost Rick. All in one day.
Dazed and destroyed, and without a sound to give, she walked out of the room, out of the house, and away from the people who had become her home.
