AN: I hope you love me cause as I said in the previous chapter, I am putting two up at once and here's the second one. Hope you like it
Kallie x
Chapter 21
3rd POV
Kittie wandered down the streetlamp-light road smiling, having come from a film night at the local youth centre with her friends, mainly from Barclay. Beside her walked Sarah-Jane, a good friend of hers who'd spent most of her life moving from place to place with her parents but had always remained in contact with Kittie. Edie and Alex walked behind them, laughing and swapping stories about various family events.
Sarah-Jane shivered and pulled her scarf tighter. "So, how are things going at home now? I rarely get to see you anymore, least of all from all this moving. It's lucky you get a night off for a change, else I'd never get to see you."
Kittie smiled and shook her head. "Yeah, well Oscar promised he'd behave tonight so I could. Otherwise I'd have to watch him all night but I left Michael in charge and well he deserves a bit of trust and respect. I don't know what SKUL did to him, I don't think I ever will and I don't want to know but whatever it was, it was very painful. He's hurt, very hurt but even I deserve a night off.
Sarah-Jane nodded. "Definitely." They continued walking down the street, barely even hearing Alex and Edie talking and laughing.
Sarah-Jane looked down the road and frowned. She touched Kittie's arm lightly and nodded down the road. "Hey, Kittie, isn't that Oscar now?"
Kittie looked to where Sarah-Jane suggested. "What? Yes." She groaned and ran a hand through her hair. "Yes it is. Sorry SJ, I have to run. He really shouldn't be out alone. I don't want him getting any worse. Eed, Alex, I'll see you guys later. You are coming over later, right?"
Edie looked at Kittie. "Huh? Yeah, yes of course. We were maybe just going to stop over at the hotel first to check in with Tristan."
Kittie grinned nervously and began running down the road towards Oscar, her hair bouncing and scarf flapping in the breeze. She stopped and turned back as she skidded to a halt. "Hey Eed, can you take my bag? I think this may end up in a bit of a fight and I'd rather my laptop didn't get broken."
Edie smiled and took Kittie's rucksack off her, which Alex took and flung over his shoulder like it didn't weigh anything at all. Edie smacked him on the shoulder and turned to Kittie, taking her hands. "Of course. We'll take it back later. You just go and get your guy."
Kittie grinned then frowned. "He's not my guy but thanks." She turned and began running back down the road.
Edie held up her hand and took a step forward. "Oh and Kittie?"
Kittie skidded to a stop again, nearly falling over. "Yeah? Look, I'm really sorry but I really need to get to him before he gets to the cross roads otherwise I've lost him."
Edie laughed and linked her fingers with Alex's. "Good luck. He's meant for you, I know it."
Kittie stuck her tongue out at Edie and began running down the road for the third time, her pace quicker and much more paced. Sarah-Jane laughed and stopped to see how things would turn out.
Oscar ran down the road, away from the house, smiling at his luck that Michael would leave him so that he could get out and stay gone. He smirked and looked back to see if Michael had realised and was following him. Kittie glanced at the road before crossing it and hurtled down towards Oscar. Oscar shook his head and looked back round but unfortunately not quick enough to avoid a collision with Kittie. He knocked her to the ground into a puddle, splashing both of them and landed on top of her, pinning her to the ground. Further down the road, Sarah-Jane winced and covered her face with her scarf. He shook his head and jumped to his feet, ready to take off again before she had time to recover and winced strongly, stumbling slightly. Kittie sat up and shivered. She hated being wet, especially on cold evenings like this.
She looked up and saw Oscar stumble. She jumped to her feet and took a step towards him. "Are you alright?"
Oscar glared at her, shrugged away, knelt down and clutched at his ankle. "What do you think? You ran straight into me! How did you know I was here?"
Kittie put a hand on her hip and stared at him. "You didn't think I'd miss the blond guy racing down the road at half 9, wrapped in a blanket did you? No, not miss-able at all."
Oscar glared at her. "Would you just help me please?"
Kittie continued looking down at him, smirking a little. "I'm sorry, are you asking?"
Oscar rolled his eyes. "Please?"
Kittie looked down at him normally, a little shocked. "You're really asking for my help?"
"Well I don't really have much choice at the moment. I don't particularly want to stay out here all night or crawl back."
"Alright, come here." She bent over slightly and offered him her hand.
Oscar let go of his ankle and took the hand gratefully. Kittie helped him to his feet, enjoying the warmth of his hand as the blanket fell to the ground around him. Oscar groaned and began to fall, unable to bear the pain of his ankle.
Kittie caught him as he cursed and tried to stand up properly again. "Hey, it's okay. Lean on me and I'll get you home."
Oscar waved her away. "No, it's fine. Just… just get someone to drop me off home and I'll leave you in peace."
Kittie let go in disgust and stood back, watching him fall over and flinching with the pain as his weight went on his ankle. "No. If you want to go home, you're walking by yourself. After all I've done for you, you still want to go home? You know you can't go home Oscar. You're not well enough."
"I don't have to listen to you, ever. You're not my mum." He sighed and held out his hand to her again. "Please will you help me? I'll let you take me back to yours and I promise I won't try to get away again, at least not until I can walk properly."
Kittie looked down at the offered hand. "You know that's not really a promise."
"Well it's the best you're gonna get."
Kittie sighed. "Okay. Here, take my hand." She held out her hand to him which he took and she helped him to his feet. "That's it, and put your arm around me. Now lean on me and I'll get you back to your room."
"You mean Jack's room."
Kittie shook her head and began slowly walking down the road half-carrying Oscar. "No. For starters, it was Luke's room but he's off at Uni so it's your room as long as you want it to be."
"Not long if I can help it," he muttered.
Kittie stopped outside her house. "Can't you just be civil? I know you're hurt and goodness knows what they did to you at SKUL but you won't talk about it so I can't help you."
"You couldn't. You have no idea what they did to me."
"I think I do." Kittie held up her hands to him which were still blistered but the swelling had mostly gone and scars were beginning to form.
Oscar hung his head. "Sorry, I forgot."
"That's alright."
They began walking through the gate and along the path to where Michael was stood by the front door, holding it open. Behind them, Sarah-Jane ran down the road and picked up the blanket. Alex took it nodding and waved as Sarah-Jane turned and went into her house.
"What really amazes me is not how you got out but how you're able to cope right now. You hate the dark."
"Hate, is an understatement."
They walked through the front door past Michael who sighed and closed it, through the corridor and began to climb the stairs up to their rooms.
"Is that why you won't let me turn off the light at night? Why… God Oscar, what did they do to you?"
"I- I don't really want to talk about it, least of all to you."
"Oh. Sorry. Well if you need someone to talk to…"
"Why would I talk to you about it?"
"Well –"
"It's not your problem, it's mine. I just want to get better so I can go home," snapped Oscar.
"Talking will help. It'll help get rid of the pain in your heart."
"No it won't."
Kittie stopped on the landing by her room and looked at him. "Why not?"
"Because… Because you caused most of it."
"Oh. Sorry. Can you make it up the rest of the stairs by yourself?" Kittie replied quietly, unsure of what to say.
"Maybe," Oscar said faintly.
Kittie nodded and let go, leaving Oscar leaning on the banister. Slowly and deflatedly, she wandered over to her room.
Oscar sighed, grimaced and bent over slightly. "Wait, please." He held up his hand to try and stop her from leaving.
Kittie turned around angrily, her curls bouncing. "What? So you can shout at me more? So you can blame me more?"
Oscar shook his head. "No. I…" He gulped and tried to step towards her. "I… I need your help, please."
Kittie sighed and softened a little at the pleading in his voice. "Okay. Come on, let's get you up to your room."
"Luke's room," said Oscar through gritted teeth as Kittie moved towards him again.
Kittie waved a hand smiling. "Whatever. Come on."
She helped him stand and he put his arm around her shoulders and began leaning on her. Slowly they climbed the stairs and entered the room. Kittie lowered Oscar onto the bed and he sat with his head in his hands. Kittie gave him a stool to put his ankle up on but he ignored it.
Kittie stepped back frowning but left it. "Right, I'm going to get stuff to sort out your ankle. Can I trust you to not run away?"
Oscar looked up and glared at her. "Do you think I can go anywhere right now?"
"Point taken. Do you want anything?"
"To go home, to not have a busted ankle and for you to leave me alone."
Kittie scowled at him. "Can you just give it a rest? You cannot go home; you're not well enough. Seriously, if you go home, Carol will try to look after you but won't know what to do, you'll lock yourself in your room and eventually you'll get sent to a mental institution because you can't handle your emotional turmoil. You're not the only going through this. Frank is stuck there right now so grow up."
"Shut up!" shouted Oscar.
Kittie took a step back a little scared but stepped towards him again. "No. You want to know the truth? I know what you're going through."
"I don't think so."
"I know so but… forget it. You wouldn't care anyway."
She left the room and went into the bathroom. She began going through the cupboard trying to find a bandage for Oscar and sighed, banging her head on the cabinet.
Michael came in and hugged her shoulders. "It's alright love."
Kittie turned to face him, tears in her eyes. "No it isn't and don't tell me it'll get better, it won't. He hates me. He keeps trying to get away from me. He doesn't want to be anywhere near me but he doesn't like being left alone. I don't know what to do anymore."
Michael hugged her again and rested his head on top of hers. "Have you just tried talking to him?"
"I can't. Every time I try to he just closes up. He doesn't understand that I know what he's going through right now."
"I know you do love. I don't need to be reminded. But you dealt with your pain. He's not right now but don't worry. It'll take a bit of time but he'll get past it eventually."
"What makes things worse is that he says I caused a lot of his pain."
"No, no. How could you?"
"I'm not sure but I think it hurt him a lot for me to not tell him about Honey. Michael, he ran away earlier and hurt himself. Actually, I've been meaning to talk to you about that." Kittie turned around to face him. "Michael, how did he get out? You said you'd watch him for me. Michael, he could've got really hurt!" Kittie hit Michael on the chest, pushing him backwards up to the wall.
Michael held up his hands in surrender, trying not to fall over as he shuffled back. "Kittie, it wasn't my fault. Charlie started crying and… You know family comes first."
"And you didn't lock the front door?"
"Of course I did but he's not a little kid. He does know how to open the front door and he can reach. What did you want me to do? Lock him in his room?"
"Of course not. I just…" Kittie burst into tears.
Michael pulled her into a hug and stroked her hair. "Shush-shush honey. It'll be alright, I promise. Just don't worry about it. Everything will turn out alright. I know it seems like everyone's just saying that but it will." He kissed her forehead.
She sniffed and wiped her eyes. "Thanks. I'm sorry I had a go at you, I'm just so stressed. I don't know what to do. We find a solution to one problem and end up with another."
Michael smiled. "Don't worry Cessa. It'll work out, I promise. What are you doing now?"
"Um, getting a bandage for Oscar and then checking he's okay as he can be right now. He'll just have to deal with my first aid. We can't take him to the doctors. It'll only make him worse and they'll ask why he's with us and what he's currently going through and –"
Michael hugged her again. "Shush, shush. Right, well why don't you go and see how he is and then do something to relax. Have a bath, watch a film, anything. I'll keep an eye on the little ones and Oscar tonight. You deserve a break."
Kittie smiled weakly and looked at him. "Are you sure?"
"I'm sure." Michael took her hands in his. "If I need any help, I'll call you. If not I can go next door and ask –"
"No! Oscar's not ready yet to know. With the little ones yes, you may ask for his help but not Oscar."
"Alright, alright. Go, see to your boyfriend."
Kittie hit him on the top of his head. "He is not my boyfriend. Need I remind you that he hates me?"
Michael laughed and slowly backed out of the room. "No, no it's fine. Sorry, sorry just a slip of the tongue." He turned and legged it down the stairs to his room, scared his sister would throw something at him.
Kittie sighed and banged her hands down on the sink. She looked into the mirror above her. "What would you do Mum? What would you do?"
Having no answer from her reflection as it was a reflection, Kittie turned away, picked up the bandage that was lying on the sink that Michael had left out for her and left the bathroom. As she reached Oscar's room, she stopped and sighed. Slowly and quietly, she walked up to the door and knocked on it.
Oscar looked up. "Come in."
Kittie stepped in and walked up to his bed. "I uh got the bandage for you. Sorry, you're going to have to put up with my first aid."
Oscar stayed silent. Kittie rolled her eyes and sat on the bed next to him, watching him shuffle away from her.
"Can… Can I see it please?"
Oscar stared at her shocked. "What?"
Kittie slapped him lightly on the arm, blushing a little, causing him to wince a little. "Sorry. No, your ankle silly. Can I see your ankle please so I can see how bad it is?"
Oscar nodded, wincing as he pulled up his trouser leg. Kittie looked at the swollen ankle that was now as red as her cheeks. Slowly she waved her fingers around the swelling, not wishing to touch it and cause him any more pain.
"That's not good. Do you mind if I touch it to see if you've broken it?"
Oscar shook his head, his teeth gritted. "Just be gentle, please. It… It hurts even without the added pressure."
Kittie nodded and lightly ran her fingers around the swelling, seeing how bad the injury was. Oscar sighed with relief at the cool touch, his eyes closed. Kittie took her hands away and went to stand up.
Oscar opened his eyes and grabbed Kittie's hand. "No, please. It helps."
Kittie smiled. "I'm going to get an ointment for it and to get a bowl of water for the bandages. Don't worry, I'll be back in a sec."
Oscar nodded and closed his eyes again. Kittie left the room and re-entered a minute later with a bowl of water and a small tub. She sat down on the bed next to him and opened the tub.
"This may sting a little."
"As much as the other one?" he mumbled.
Kittie looked at him. "Um, maybe. I don't… We don't generally injure ourselves as badly as you did. What did you do?" Kittie dipped her fingers into the pot and began to cover Oscar's ankle with the cream.
Oscar flinched slightly and Kittie held his hand as she continued to rub the cream onto the swelling.
"I – I'm not sure. I think I may have landed on it funny when I ran into you."
Kittie nodded. "I see. Well the good news is that it's not broken. The bad news, 5 days in bed with no weight on it –"
"5 days!"
Kittie stared at him. "Minimum. If it starts to get better in 3 days then you can move around the house but not very far and not for very long, else we're back to square one." Slowly and carefully she dipped the bandage into the bowl of water and began to wrap it around Oscar's ankle.
Oscar looked at it surprised. "Won't that stop the cream working?"
Kittie shook her head. "No, not at all. It should in theory make it last longer."
Oscar began to pull away and Kittie let go. "Look, if you don't want my help, fine, suffer. But next time, think before you ask." Kittie stood up to go.
"No, wait. Please don't go. I'm sorry, it just…"
"Do you really want me to stay?"
"No, but I need your help."
"Well that's a crap reason for me to stay, especially as you're being rude to me. Why should I stay when all you want is to use me? Do you really deserve my help Oscar Dixon-Halliday? I saved your life and you repay me by wanting nothing to do with me, running away when all I offer you is kindness and a place for you to stay until you get better. Why should I bother helping you?"
Oscar scowled. "Well if you put it like that, maybe you should go. I can manage by myself."
Kittie squealed angrily and stormed out of the room into Alex and Edie. She tried to get past but Alex grabbed her and pushed her back.
"What?" she snapped, brushing her hair out of her eyes.
"Go back in there and apologise to him," said Alex quietly.
"Alex's right. You can't expect to get along with him, let alone have a good relationship if you fight and storm out. Just go back in and apologise," said Edie, looking at Alex and smiling.
"But –"
Kittie just go!" Alex turned her around and pushed her slowly into Oscar's room.
Kittie stood in the doorway watching Oscar trying to wrap the bandage around his ankle and failing. Angrily he let the bandage drop and he threw himself back onto his bed properly.
Kittie knocked and stepped in sheepishly. "Uh, sorry. Here, let me help you."
Oscar sighed and sat up. "Thanks," he mumbled.
Kittie quickly wrapped the bandage around his ankle and smiled as she tied it up. "There you go. Not too tight?"
Oscar shook his head. "Thanks."
"No problem. Right, it's late. You better get some sleep and I'll come and check on you in the morning."
"Thank-you, for everything Kittie, and I'm sorry."
"You're just saying that."
"Well maybe I am but you're still being nice to me even though I've been so horrible to you."
Kittie got off the bed and smiled. "It's okay. I'm used to it by now."
"Thanks. Can – can you leave the light on please?"
Kittie smiled. "Of course. Goodnight Oscar."
She left the room and slowly walked down the stairs to her room.
Edie stepped out of the alcove followed by Alex.
"Well?" she asked, turning to look at him.
"Well what?" he replied chuckling.
"They're meant to be together. Love will conquer all."
"Of course love." He stepped towards her and pulled her in close.
"It did for us. Look at us Alex. You hated me when you learnt what I could do," she mumbled into his jumper.
He stroked her head. "Well not just for that but I know what you mean. I forgave you and he'll forgive her, I'm sure but it may not work out the same. We're different than most Eeds so it might not work for them but we'll see, we'll see."
Oscar's POV
I woke with a start, sweating heavily. I looked around the room, panic rising. I was in an unfamiliar room and… wait. It was alright. I was in Jack's room or was it Luke's? Definitely Luke's. I tried to remember what had woken me up, then shuddered when I did. It had been 9 days since Kittie had rescued me from SKUL, no, 9 days since my team rescued me yet I still kept waking up from nightmares about that place. I guess 9 days isn't really that long, barely more than 1 week but still. I didn't want to keep going back to that place in my mind, and that sodding rabbit. I will never forget what they did to me.
I lay back down on the bed and closed my eyes, trying to go to sleep. Instantly my eyes flew open, breaking the horrifying images I got every time I closed my eyes. Maybe if I wasn't alone it wouldn't be so bad. Then I would know I was safe, but… I am not going to Michael, I barely know the guy. I can't call Frank. I can't call Rose or Carrie or anyone. So that leaves… Kittie. I don't want to go to her. I won't go crawling to her like a small child. I closed my eyes again, trying to think of something else, something happy. My last few memories with my dad but that wasn't helping. Every time I would think of him, I would think about how he disapperead and got captured by SKUL, and then SKUL and what they did to me and the images would come back.
That does it. I opened my eyes and got out of bed. Quietly I made it out of the room and down the stairs in the tower to where Kittie's room was. Don't ask me why there was a tower, I have no clue. Now all I had to do was climb the stairs. Kittie I could deal with later. The stairs were my most difficult challenge currently. I know I had been told no moving around much but that was 4 days ago and I think my ankle was healing alright. As much as I hated to admit it, I would rather risk Kittie shouting at me for injuring myself more than be alone with the nightmares any more.
Slowly I climbed up the stairs, leaning heavily on the banister, trying not to put weight on my ankle. As I reached Kittie's door, I realised I had no idea what I would say to her or how I was going to get her to let me stay. I guess I could use the fact that she liked me to make her let me stay but it's not really fair to manipulate someone to get what you want. No matter what, I wasn't going to become like SKUL. Hesitantly I took a breath. No Oscar, don't think about her saying no. Just be polite and nice and just ask. I knocked on the door and held my breath, waiting. Kittie opened the door and I have to admit she looked really cute standing in her pjs, her hair pulled back in a ponytail and her looking all sleepy. No, I can't. I hate her, I hate her. Well no, I don't really but I'm not going to admit that. I'm not even that mad at her anymore either, I just wasn't sure if I could trust her anymore.
"Yes Oscar? Can I help you?" she asked sleepily but I could tell she was trying not to show how tired she was.
"Uh, I… I…" Dammit Oscar. Why'd you have to freeze? Just talk to her for heaven's sake. It's just Kittie. Just Kittie.
She shook her head sleepily. "Look if you don't want anything, I'm going to go back to bed." She turned and shut the door in my face whilst I stood there like an idiot.
I heard her go over to her bed and get in. Soon I heard her breathing slow and I knew she'd gone back to sleep. I knocked on the door again.
"Go away Oscar." I heard her mumble and I hesitated. No Oscar, come on, you can do this. I knocked again and when she didn't answer, I opened up the door. Quietly I looked around the door and saw her curled up in her bed, very much like a cat. I chuckled and stopped, hoping I hadn't woken her yet.
I'd never been in her room before and what I saw surprised me. Her walls, where not covered with pictures she'd done and her siblings had done, photos and other pictures, were covered in lyrics and sayings she'd painted on, at least I assumed she'd painted it by herself. There were three other doors in the room. Where they led to I had no idea. Everything was neat and tidy just like her but nothing was really girly and pretty pink. Above me I noticed a faint glow and when I looked up and I saw that the ceiling was covered in glow-in-the-dark stars. At least she didn't have to worry about the dark. Maybe she didn't like it like me, but maybe not.
Slowly and quietly as I could, I crept up to her bed. On the chest at the end of the bed were several blankets and quietly I lifted them off then arranged them on the floor. As I settled down I heard Kittie roll over and I froze, hoping I hadn't woken her up. Unfortunately, I wasn't as quiet as I thought.
"Oscar? What are you doing?" she asked sleepily as she sat up.
"I…" think Oscar think. "I came to make sure you were safe. I kept hearing noises so I came to check on you then thought it would be best if I stayed."
She stared at me a little shocked for a couple of seconds then smiled. "Oscar, I've heard every story imaginable from the little ones. That is number 3 on my list of favourite excuses. What's really up?"
"I…" Dammit Oscar, why can't you talk to her? You managed perfectly well earlier. Granted it was a little uncivil but there were still proper words.
"Nightmares?" she asked and I nodded. No use lying to her now. "Well…" She looked over the bed at my make-shift bed and shook her head, causing her ponytail to bounce.
"Now, that won't do. Come on." She patted the bed and I stared at her.
"You want me to get into bed with you?" I couldn't believe her.
She smiled slightly then started laughing. "No, to share the bed silly. It's large enough for us to both have our space, it will save you from sleeping on the floor and should stop the nightmares. It always works with the little ones."
"Well I'm not little," I retorted, resisting the urge to stick my tongue out at her.
"I know you're not. Seriously, it's fine. Cal ends up taking up most of my bed when he comes, actually so does Tom and he doesn't like being touched when he's sleeping."
I looked at her, still sceptical.
She rolled her eyes. "Look, you can either share the bed with me or sleep on the floor and it's really not comfortable cause I'm not rearranging furniture now to get a proper bed set up for you, so… Oh never mind, just do what you want." With a sigh she lay back down and closed her eyes.
I really didn't want to sleep on the floor but at the same time I didn't want to share a bed with her, even though it meant being close to her. Wait, why did I just think that? I sighed. "Fine," I grumbled and climbed onto the bed "But this still doesn't mean I like you."
As I laid down on the edge of the bed I swear I saw her smile. "Of course it doesn't," she muttered. "How could I ever forget that you hate me?" Just a hint of resentment in her voice there.
We lay there in the dark, not making a sound. "I don't hate you," I whispered when I was sure she was asleep. When she didn't respond I rolled over, just to check that she was asleep and not just faking it. It didn't look like she was crying or anything.
As I watched her sleep, I began to notice the small things about her – the way she kept her hands tightly against her chest, her feet pointed as she lay in the foetal position, the small curls by her eyes that bounced slowly as she breathed. She looked so much more relaxed when she slept. I lay flat on my back, my hands underneath my head and stared up at the ceiling. Life seemed less complicated right now. I'm not sure if it's because of the room or because I'm here next to Kittie but it really does seem a lot less complicated. I closed my eyes and felt myself drifting off to sleep.
My dreams were… weird. I was a little kid again having a tea party with some other kids. There was a little girl with brown curly hair in pig tails and every time I spilt my "tea" she kept yelling at me. Then we were in the garden playing hide and seek. I ran up behind the little girl and yelled "boo" really loudly, causing her to nearly fall in the pond but I grabbed her and stopped her from falling in. She hugged me and kissed my cheek, but then I had to go. My dad came to get me and her mum was like "oh no John, let the kids play some more." And he was like "well maybe 5 more minutes. Susan will get annoyed if he's home late." Then we were sat looking at the stars wrapped in a blanket. She started pointing out the constellations to me and I copied her, even showed her a few of them myself. It was nice, us just sat there together.
Then I woke up. The reason I was feeling so warm and comfortable in my dream was because I was there in bed with Kittie… spooning. Don't get me wrong, it was a nice feeling but it was Kittie. I sat up quickly, moving away then checked to see if I'd woken her. Luckily I hadn't. I didn't care how bad the nightmares were anymore. I wasn't going to stay here and let this happen again, or even worse. I crept out of the bed, out of her room and upstairs to Luke's. I collapsed on the bed, glad she hadn't noticed. No matter how bad the nightmares get from now on, I wasn't going to allow any possibility of that happening again. From now on, I stay in this room at night.
Kittie's POV
I woke up and looked at the clock – 1.30. That's an odd time to wake, I thought. I don't normally wake up in the middle of the night, unless something or someone has woken me. I listened carefully and realised I could hear Oscar climbing down the stairs to my room. Why is he coming here in the middle of the night? I shrugged. Whatever the reason, I would find out soon. When he reached the landing, he stopped just outside my door and I frowned. What was he doing now? Maybe he was unsure? I got out of bed and as I went to open the door he knocked. "Yes Oscar? Can I help you?" I asked, trying to hide a yawn. I mean it's very early morning when I should be asleep.
"Uh, I… I…" he stuttered and I resisted the urge to roll my eyes at him. Why couldn't he just talk to me?
I shook my head sleepily. "Look if you don't want anything, I'm going to go back to bed." I didn't want to have to deal with this right now. I turned and shut the door in his face, leaving him stood there. Hopefully he'd get the message that I wasn't in the mood for his games right now. I climbed bag into bed, pulled the duvet over me and settled back down to go back to sleep, but also listening out to see what Oscar would do. My breathing slowed as I began to drift off and I kept trying to force myself to not sleep just yet. He knocked on the door again and I put my pillow over my head.
"Go away Oscar." I mumbled through the pillow.
Then what did he do? Did he get the whole "go away" thing? No, of course not. He went and opened the door even after I told him to go away and shut the door in his face. I could feel him looking at me as I slept to see if he'd woken me and then I heard him chuckle. Obviously he thought he hadn't.
He started moving around in my room, rather noisily if I might add. I had no idea what he was doing, not that I wanted to find out what he was doing at half 1 in the morning. I waited until he'd settled down before moving the pillow off my face and sitting up. "Oscar? What are you doing?" I asked a little sleepily.
"I…" he muttered and I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. "I came to make sure you were safe. I kept hearing noises so I came to check on you then thought it would be best if I stayed."
I stared at him for a couple of seconds, a little shocked. I couldn't believe he'd use the same excuse as Tom did last night. It was blatantly obvious that wasn't why he was here. I mean come on, I'm a spy. I can take care of myself and anyone else in my care, including him. I smiled. "Oscar, I've heard every story imaginable from the little ones. That is number 3 on my list of favourite excuses. What's really up?"
"I…" He froze again. Maybe if I asked questions, that would help rather than getting him to spill his guts. 9 times out of 10, well ok, more like 8, the kids would come up here because of nightmares, so given his track record and SKUL, it was probably that.
"Nightmares?" I asked and he nodded. "Well…" I looked over at his make-shift bed and sighed inwardly. A pile of blankets on the floor doesn't make a bed, unless it's a sleepover but that's specific circumstances and this is not a sleepover because he's got his own room.
I shook my head which annoyingly made my ponytail bounce. "Now that won't do. Come on." I patted the bed and waited to see how he would react. As I suspected, he stared at me like I'd just told him something insane like I was getting married to Stark which – eww. I hate the guy and he hates me.
"You want me to get into bed with you?" I could understand his disbelief which let me tell you, he wasn't doing a very good job of hiding. Maybe I hadn't been clear enough and I guess that did sound a little wrong. I couldn't help it. I smiled slightly then started laughing. It was just so ridiculous. "No, to share the bed silly. It's large enough for us both to have our space, it will save you from sleeping on the floor and should stop the nightmares. It always works with the little ones."
"Well I'm not little," he snapped and I could see I'd hit a nerve there. Maybe it was a bad idea but I've offered and he hasn't actually said no yet.
"I know you're not. Seriously, it's fine. Cal ends up taking up most of my bed when he comes, actually so does Tom and he doesn't like being touched when he's sleeping." Which was all true. Only last week Tom had a hissy fit in the middle of the night and he kicked me out of my bed too.
He still looked sceptical and I rolled my eyes. I was fed up now. "Look, you can either share the bed with me or sleep on the floor and it's really not comfortable cause I'm not rearranging furniture now to get a proper bed set up for you, so… Oh never mind, just do what you want." I lay back down and closed my eyes. I wasn't sure what he'd do but I was expecting him to go back on the floor.
"Fine," he grumbled which surprised me. I tried to not be shocked when he climbed onto the bed. "But this still doesn't mean I like you." His words cut through the air like a knife. The fatal blow of the night and I decided I just couldn't take anymore.
I smiled weakly, trying to show it hadn't hurt when it hurt so much. "Of course it doesn't," I muttered. "How could I ever forget that you hate me?" I tried to stop the resentment in my voice but I'd been so out of practice that he probably heard it anyway. I rolled onto my side, turning away from him so that he wouldn't see me crying. I'd gotten good at crying silently with bare minimal movements.
We lay there in the dark, making no noise, just the sound of breathing and the clock ticking to break the silence. "I don't hate you," I heard him whisper and I felt more tears roll down my cheeks. I wanted to believe him, I just wasn't sure. Maybe he really meant it because he probably thought I was asleep. I heard him roll over, probably to see if I was crying and when I heard him sigh and settle down again, I knew it was all ok. I didn't want him to see me cry. He couldn't know how much it was actually hurting me. Yes I could act frustrated but I couldn't let him know that it was tearing me up inside.
I dreamt about me being little again. Mum was there, and so was dad and this was before when John was... alive. He came over for my birthday party with a little boy. He had curly blond hair and deep brown eyes. It was weird cause I don't remember John having a son. Maybe it was his nephew or something. I hugged the little boy, rather violently and we sat at the table ignoring everyone else. When Michael tried to take some of my cake, the boy got annoyed and ended up pushing Michael so that his face ended up in my birthday cake which made me laugh. I don't remember who the little boy was but I remember we were really close, best friends and I hated spending even a minute without him. I don't know what happened. Maybe he moved, or when we went to the hotel we lost touch but the dream made me realise just how much I miss him.
I woke up when I felt Oscar move. It was only then that I realised that he'd been holding me. It felt so nice until he moved. He let go quickly, moving away and I heard him sigh. He regretted it, no surprise there then. He left the room and I felt more silent tears sliding down my face. I gave in and just let the tears flow. He was gone and I doubted I'd ever get him back.
