Chapter 6 - Never Far
His boots were beating the pavement as he raced around like a man possessed. First doing a quick circle around the community. Then, he slowed to search every nook and cranny. The guard posts, the armory, the pantry… He walked through every single room in every single building that wasn't occupied.
Still, no sign of Michonne. It was after midnight - soon, he would have to start knocking on doors. He didn't want to disturb anyone, but he wasn't going to wait until morning to fix this. Morning would be too late.
He was running past their house again when he sensed her more than he heard her. She was sitting in the grass, her back pressed to the house. Her arms were wrapped around her legs and her head rested atop her knees. Her shoulders were shaking and he knew she was crying.
His Michonne was crying. And he was responsible for these tears. If he could, he would beat himself senseless.
Approaching her slowly and carefully, like he would a wounded bird, he squatted down before her and said her name lightly, like an oath, 'Michonne'.
He saw her stiffen at the sound of his voice, and it broke his heart to have caused her this pain.
She moved as if to stand, but paused when he put his hand out to stop her. The touch did what touches do when you love someone. It soothed and calmed them both. And he cursed himself for not allowing her touch earlier. A simple touch might have been enough to bring him to his senses.
When she didn't push him away as he deserved, he felt hope that maybe she would understand.
'I don't understand,' she uttered, in the softest voice he'd ever heard her use. So vulnerable. So pained. He would have to tread carefully or she would leave him and never look back.
'Baby, I am so sorry for what I said. What I did,' he began, leaning into closer, darkness surrounding them.
'Why?' she asked, echoing Carl's question. While she allowed him to touch her forearms, she didn't move to touch him, instead, keeping her arms around her legs, cocooning herself against any more pain. He had to convince her that he was a fool and would never hurt her again.
Reaching out to cup her chin, he drew her eyes to his. 'I'm going to try to explain this. But I have to make sure you know, You are everything to me. I love you so deeply. So completely. I physically ache for you.'
Did she understand? Did she comprehend?
'You are so much a part of my family, no family exists without you. That scares me. My love for you scares me. And tonight, it scared me more than ever before.' She was listening. Her eyes softened and she listened as he continued.
Rick moved closer now, placing one of his legs on either side of her so that her was wrapped around her. Leaning in until his forehead met hers he admitted the awful truth, 'tonight, when my brother was killed right before my eyes, at the same moment I wept for him, I also felt a profound sense of relief.'
He closed his eyes, never more ashamed of anything in his life. 'I was relieved it wasn't you. I was aware that I couldn't allow the world to go on without you, and I felt so grateful you survived.'
He lifted his head now, to gage her reaction. Would it be disgust? Would she leave him after all? This was a shitty thing to admit on the day of Glenn's death, but he wouldn't keep his flaws from her. He only hoped she could love him despite those flaws.
'Oh Rick.' Her eyes met his. She lifted trembling fingers to his face tentatively.
'Michonne, I couldn't accept your touch earlier, because I didn't think deserved it. I was right, I don't deserve it. But I need it, I need you anyway. And if you will have me, I will never push you away again. Please forgive me.'
His eyes never left her face as he promised himself to her. Would she forgive him, or would she leave him. He didn't want to do it, but he was prepared to play the kid card if need be to keep her.
Her eyes mirrored the love he had expressed as they pooled with tears that might be called tears of joy now. 'You are forgive. But never, ever, stop me from touching you again. I can't breathe without touching you.'
Rick exhaled a breath he didn't know he was holding, and pulled her lips to his in a hungry kiss. Devouring her lips there in the shadows of their home. Parting her lips with his, he slipped his tongue inside to ravish her mouth and soak in her essence.
His hands moved to cup her cheeks as he poured all he felt for her into the heat of their mouths. Promises passed between his tongue and hers as they swiped against each other. Swirling around the slick underside of her mouth, he savored her and she moaned into him.
His body responded to her call and he knew he would never want another woman, never love another women, again.
This was the fruit of life to him. With Michonne, anything was possible. All things were possible. Facing down demons was okay if she was by his side every step of the way.
'You didn't go far,' the sound of Carl's voice from the direction of the doorway interrupted them. It was a probably a good interruption, or Rick would have taken her right there on the soft grass.
Michonne untwined herself from me, something Rick was not too pleased about, to stand up and walk over to Carl. 'I will never be far away from you and Judith.'
Carl nodded and she took him in her arms. Rick was struck by the damage he has nearly done, not just to his relationship with Michonne, but to Carl's. Thank god she was here and she was staying.
Rick joined them, placing his arms around both, 'Lets get my family inside,' he said, walking them to the front door.
The End
