It took me a while, but finally here's chapter 7 of When death stands beside you. I hope you like it. It's a bit of a boring chapter, but it will get very interesting very soon..

SPOILERS of the next chapters(s):

* The wolves will jump in

* Lexi will discover more about her gift

* Somebody will be attacked

Enjoy!


My departure would be short, despite the best effort that my family would make to stop me from making a terrible mistake that I would definitely, without a doubt regret. Hell, I even regretted it and I hadn't even left the house yet.

But I would leave all my sorrow with them, and the thought somehow freed me.

I threw all my clothes into the first suitcase I could find, - which happened to be Rosalie's Louis Vuitton - not bothering to even fold them neatly or to pick out clothes that would suit the destinations I planned to go to and made my mind as clear and empty as possible, the destinations carefully hidden for Edward behind the lyrics of French songs, an entire movie I replayed in my mind and famous quotes of William Shakespeare. I didn't want to think about it much, because if I did I would have second thoughts and I gave Lexi my word.

Alice clutches my arm, temporary stopping me from throwing in more clothes in the suitcase, clicking it together, lifting it and disappearing out of the lives of my family. Out of Lexi's life. It pained me.

I did it all for her. For her sake, her happiness. She deserved peace, closure. And I hoped that after my departure she would become a calmer, nicer girl, one who wasn't full of hate and viciousness. I hoped she would accept my family, and see them eventually as her family too. Above all I hoped she would forgive me, only then I knew that what I did today would have been right.

" Please Jasper, don't go!" Alice begged and she clung to my arm with her full body weight, trying to stop me once more. I felt her despair and her pain. We had met so long ago, in a godforsaken place. She was the one who helped me out of the miserable life I had led and introduced me into a much brighter one with the Cullens. Everything I had now, that I had built up, was with the help of Alice. I couldn't be more grateful to her, there were no words for it.

I threw my arms around her petite form and pulled her closer. This would be the last contact we had, physical at least. I wasn't even sure if I wanted to stay in contact with them, it would only make things more painful. And I would only miss them more.

For a brief second I planted a kiss on her forehead and whispered a hoarse " Thank you for everything!" in her ear.

A small jab of jealousy hit me and I recognized the person even without the slightest doubt. Lexi. But why was she jealous? I couldn't imagine Lexi as a jealous type of girl. I shook it off. Placed it in a corner of my mind as non-important among many other things.

When I let her go, I struggled to speak out the words : " No Alice, I have to go you don't understand. I do it for her."

" Staying would be the only thing good for her!" I wasn't sure if Alice had really said it. Even my ears could barely hear it. The words were so softly spoken that it was so hard to understand them.

I was fully well aware that Lexi was downstairs, listening to every words we said. But I didn't care. Soon I would be gone.

I shook Alice off and reached for my suitcase, lifting it easily with 2 fingers. Everybody had gathered in the living room, even Lexi, who stood in the empty corner where once Edwards beloved piano stood and watched me with big, red eyes. They seemed more vivid due to the blood she had consumed. There was also some sadness recognizable in it.

The human she had killed last night had been found by the police and identified as Andrew Morin, a 25-year old Canadian hiker and Carlisle had to do the medical examination of the corpse. His professional conclusion was that the hiker fell of the mountains and then got attacked by a bear. It happened all the time. Hikers who grabbed the wrong part of the rock, who slipped and fell. It was a well-covered up story.

Lexi felt extremely guilty for her killing that, she cried and cried and cried tears that would never spill, until she just snapped out of it and became ice-cold again. I knew she still felt it, inside she still felt the guilt. It never went away.

" Jasper." Esme my mother for all purposes sobbed and I knew the pain she felt, was for losing a son today. She wrapped her arms around me and hugged me - refusing to let me go - until Carlisle pulled her away. All my family members hugged me and said how much they were going to miss me and that I didn't had to do this. It only made my heart ache more. But they were wrong. I had to do this for Lexi.

Emmett gave me strong, brotherly pads – the shocks bouncing on my bones - on my back, just like Edward and they wished me the best. Carlisle gave me the fatherly hug. I knew it was also hard for him. We were family and losing family wasn't simple.

" Son, you are always welcome back. We want you to come back. You have to!" I simply nodded. I didn't want to make any promises that I knew who had a very high risk of being broken.

Edward's gaze flickered over to me for a second, but the message was as clear as a starless night sky: ' don't hurt him more.'

After one more hug from Alice and Rosalie and one more from Esme I looked at Lexi. For the last time in what would be a very long period. She nodded at me, eyes looking down and I swear I could've seen her lip quiver in the emotional way and then she bit it. Not in the nervous kind of way but a whole new way that made me have thoughts I shouldn't have.

" Not a word!" I hissed mentally at Edward.

Lexi's guilt and sadness washed over my in strong waves but I couldn't determine whether it was because of the innocent human she had killed or because she had chased me away.

I could see how she lifted her head, her eyes meeting my gaze and we looked at each other. Our minds having trains of thoughts swirling around.

I tore my eyes away from her - against the strong will of my mind -, her pale gorgeous face forever burned into my memory. I was going to miss everyone, there was no denying. But what surprised me was that I found myself already fretting over Lexi.

Against common sense, I would miss her. She definitely did something to me that is still unknown to me.

With my suitcase in my hand I walked towards the garage. I could run but in this case I preferred not to. I tossed the suitcase in Emmett's jeep - that I could temporarily borrow, although we both knew that temporarily had no definition this time - and got in myself. I didn't knew with what story my family would came up with to keep people from getting suspicious. Probably something as a severe case of pneumonia or mono. Or maybe I moved out. I could've dropped out of school and move away, after all I was according to my application form for Forks High School 18. It would be one of the stupid decisions teens made these days.

I stepped roughly on the gas - Emmett's jeep giving a fierce roar before it shot forward like a bullet - and drove away with more heart ache than I had ever felt.


I stayed downstairs, waiting until my advanced hearing didn't picked up the sound of the jeep Jasper drove anymore. He was gone. Jasper was gone. I never expected him to listen to me. After all I was used to being ignored. He did what I told him. He left his family for me, to ease my pain and make life - the few bit I had - easier for me.

I can't say I'm not surprised. What would I do when someone would force me to leave my family behind? That is if I was still with them. The answer was simple: I would become a very aggressive teen, punch the stupid idea out of that person's had and probably end up in a youth detention center.

Jasper didn't refuse. I felt remarkably awful for forcing Jasper to leave and separating him from his family. I somehow cared. Was it possible that I started to care what Jasper felt? That I started to care about Jasper?

I had felt jealous, it was awful to admit, but I had. I didn't know why. Was it because Jasper had hugged Alice. Because they had a close bond?

No! I shook the thought out of my head, because I remembered I had no privacy in this house, and I let my eyes dart towards Edward and thought the last words about privacy extra loud.

I made my way to the stairs to wallow more in self-pity in my room, when I heard Rosalie's voice, ice cold with an unbelievable anger laced into it.

" It should've been you, you know!" I turned around to face her.

" It should've been you that is driving away!" She spat, clenching her teeth and the blond goddess looked more than ready to kill.

I planned to keep my mouth shut - knowing she was right - but a muscle clenched in my jaw: " I know!"

" Then why are you such a vicious, little bitch and did you chase my brother away!"

" Rosalie-" Esme started but she didn't got the chance to finish her sentence.

" No! Jasper's family. He made a mistake by changing her, I get it. But Jasper's family, she isn't. She should leave!" she screamed.

I swallowed, locked my gaze to the ground and disappeared, while I cried on the inside.


" Lexi!" My brother yelled, his voice irritated and he nudged his elbow into my small body. I giggled, gaining my pleasure out of teasing my brother. I continued poking my brother in his ribs, making him more and more annoyed with each poke of my little finger.

" Lexi stop it! You stupid, little brat!" he snarled, eyes fixed on his Gameboy, playing some Mario game. My last poke made him lose his game and he cursed an F-word.

" Terry! Watch your language around your little sister!" My mother warned and turned around in her seat, giving my brother the - one-more-time-and-you-have-house-arrest- look. For a boy of 17 that was somehow the worst possible thing that could happen. That and being forced in a car with his parents and little sister, on a vacation to Yogi Bear's Jelly stone Park Camp Resort in Hagerstown, Maryland.

" She ruined my game, mom!" he complained " And my life when she was born!" he added softly.

" What did you say?" My mother raised her voice and turned around once more. The look in her eyes said that it just had become very dangerous for him to say another word.

I giggled again. O, how much I loved this!

" Nothing." He murmured softly and crossed his arms, staring with a made gaze at the seat of my mother and I guessed he cursed her in his head repeatedly.

" Terry…" I nagged, he turned his annoyed eyes towards me " you're a pimple head!"

I giggled again as Terry chose to ignore me but I could see he had a difficult time doing that.

Then I started to became bored and I needed everyone to know.

" Mom, I'm so bored! Are we almost there?" I whined like a little child, which I was for the record not. After all I was already 9 years old.

" Almost." She replied bored, without taking her eyes of the magazine she was reading. My father kept his eyes glued on the road, but the dark circles under his eyes were a very clear sign that he was tired after hours of non-stop driving and leaving as soon as he came home from his work.

" Yellow car!" I yelled and slapped my brother in the back of his neck, hard for my small child hand. We - mostly I - always played yellow car. It was easy and fun. When you saw a yellow car you hit the person you played the game with in the back of his neck. It was fun when you could hit, not when you got hit.

Terry gave a small yelp of surprise and pain : " You little brat!" he yelled and he hit me back in the back of my neck, with his large teenage hand. It was way harder than I had hit him and my neck burned of the pain.

So I started doing the only thing that would tear away my mother's eyes from her magazine and punish my brother at the same time: I started crying, screeching, bleating like a slaughtered lamb and fought back.

I tried to scratch his face with my nails, but failed miserably as Terry grabbed my thin wrists.

" Enough!" my father barked loudly and he turned sharply around in his seat, taking his eyes of the road, looking directly at us with a tired, mad gaze. I guess we finally got on his nerves.

I wish we didn't.

When he looked back at the road he had to make a sharp turn to the right, to avoid crashing mercilessly into a very large truck and turning his car - with his whole family in it - into a can of sardines.

For some reason I wish he didn't.

Instead of crashing into the truck, and without a doubt ending our lives immediately, we got off the road heading right into the roadside were large trees stood proudly next to each other.

I screamed so hard it hurt my throat and grabbed a hold of Terry, needing him, wanting my big brother to protect me.

In the distance I heard my mother scream and my father and I also recognized my brother's as his grip became closer to desperately keep me from this un-avoidable harm.

Everything happened so very quick after that.

We crashed and there was so much pain.

I somehow managed to crawl out of the car and so did Terry and my mother. Terry blacked out quickly after getting to safety. I could see his temple was bleeding, a thin line of thick red liquid running over his face.

My mother on the other hand fought to stay into this world. In vain. She failed.

Her shaking hand reached out to me and her bloody fingers touched my cheek for a moment and then she tried to inhale a breath but her eyes rolled back into her head and she was gone too.

A loud sound made me turn away my attention from my death mother. Our car exploded, a big cloud of red and orange flames and my father was still in it!

Flames came into my direction, fast and threateningly, and the only thing I could do was bring up my arms in front of me - trying to ignore the horrible sharp pain of the glass in my stomach and the broken bones I definitely had - , to protect my face and hope burning alive was a quick death. I highly doubted it.


I blinked. Tears pricked into my eyes, but I knew they would roll down my pale cheek. Not even a small one. I wanted so badly that they would spill. To out my pain, my sadness and despair.

I didn't realized I was screaming - trapped in the pain - until I heard my own screams bouncing against every wall of the magnificent Cullen mansion. The palms of my hand were pressed against my temples, as if I could press the pain out my head. My teeth were gritted, so strong that for a second I thought they were going to shatter.

The memory was blurry, the eyes that had taken it in were obviously human. It was almost annoying, irritating that the memory in my head wasn't as clear as my vision. My eyes were used to sharp, detailed vision, not this.

I cried high-pitched sobs, my screams had only died moments ago. I was upset. I needed someone to calm me down. I needed Jasper. No, I needed his ability.

Whenever I pushed the pain away, it managed to catch up with me. Each blow felt more and more fatal, more painful. It was during that times that I realized that I really needed Jasper. To suppress the pain and magically push it out of my body with his powers.

But he wasn't here and I needed to calm down myself.

Somebody's foot entered the first step of the stairs at vampire speed and I suspected that it was Esme, seeming that only she still seemed to care a bit of me and the step was light as a female's.

" No! I want to be alone!" I said softly but I knew she would hear it effortlessly and I hoped she would understand it. I really needed and wanted to be alone. I didn't know what would happen if anyone would come in now.

I started to take depth breaths, focusing on the feeling of every inhale going through my lungs and rise again, escaping through my nose. I closed my eyes and concentrated on the feeling that Jasper's gift had given me so many times. After a minute or two it worked. I started to calm down all by myself. Given away the fact that I was a mindless newborn, it was a pretty big deal.

Esme's foot disappeared of the stairs and I heard how she turned around to stand back to her family. Why would she want to check upon me, when I had tortured her and her family and made her son leave them?

Because she was good.

She was a good vampire.

No, she was a good person, and I wasn't.


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