Chapter 8 is up! I hope you enjoy it and you can leave your opinions behind in a nice little review ;)


It was hard at first. Living with the knowledge that I had forced away someone who loved his family. It made me realize how awful I was. What I had done made me think about Terry and Valeria. How much I actually loved them, even Valeria, who I had never really liked. In my eyes she was just somebody who tried to steal my brother from me, just like death had stolen my parents from me.

It was awkward too. I didn't knew how to act towards the others, so I stayed quiet. It was the safest, most peaceful choice. If I stayed quiet, I couldn't say anything wrong.

Fascinating how days passed without that certain person. Time never stood still.

I received several death glares from Rosalie, the newborn in my wanted to glare back with full force but the old Lexi closed her eyes and continued doing what she was busy with. I guess after a couple of glares I had built up a tolerance for it. Still the cold, death look chilled me to the bone and sometimes if Emmett wasn't around her I thought she would attack me at the place. I saw her fists clench and her teeth grit and I knew she had to restrain herself the best she could. I ignored her the best of my ability.

Nobody really talked to me and I understood that. Really, I did. I would do the same after all if I was in some sort of comparable situation. They - mostly Esme, Carlisle and Alice - asked me to go hunting and I just nodded, accompanying them like I was a shy girl. I hunted mostly deer, the blood filled me and kept the agony in my throat away, but I still craved human blood. I couldn't just forget how my two victims had tasted. Sweet, hot blood straight from the main vain. It wasn't that easy to forget.

However, I was doing good for the moment. Did that counted for Jasper too?

I had no idea where Jasper had gone too and to my surprise I really wanted to know. A part of me kept nagging to know where he was. Was he somewhere safe? Away from other, hostile vampires? Was he somewhere away from humans? Was he still a vegetarian?

I brushed the questions off. The answer on all of the was ' ofcourse he was'. It was weird that I thought so much about him. Only days ago I longed to kill him and now I worried about him. Was worried the correct word?

Yes, it was.

I was becoming paranoid. Maybe sickly obsessed was a better choice of words. I shouldn't think about him. But still I did. When he talked to me, when he looked at me, when he touched me to keep me in place or warned me not to take things too far. My mind was definitely losing it and I didn't care, as long as it all went about Jasper.

I suspected Alice and Edward to know something that nobody else knew. Some dirty secret, where I was in. They whispered and looked at each other sneakily, occasionally glancing at me and when Jasper was still around, him too.

My suspicions had become more prominent when I heard Alice say something like ' … she … not so great … without him' against Edward when we were hunting in the woods three days ago. I didn't have to guess twice to know the names of she and him.

We were in that stupid secret that only Alice and Edward knew and I was dying to know what it was.


Emmett's jeep left deep tire tracks in the fresh snow that covered the hard ground. The snow storm was just over, not that it bothered me because my skin could easily withstand something like snow, and I was almost arrived on my destination.

The snow made me think of Lexi's skin. White, soft and cold. I found myself longing for it.

I sighed, it was better this way.

After I left I decided I would go to a place with people who shared the same diet and hopefully change the thoughts that Eleazar had over Lexi. I was going to the Denali's in Alaska.

I wasn't entirely sure if I would be still welcome. Surely Eleazar would've told the rest of his family about Lexi, about the Cullens creating a newborn who was more powerful than anything that had ever walked this planet. But it was worth a try. I wanted to tell them that maybe Lexi had found peace, now that she wasn't confronted with me anymore. I was fairly sure things were going a lot of smoother now in Forks.

By the time I arrived, Tanya - the leader of the Denali coven - and her family stood outside of their mansion, seriousness plastered on their face, their eyes calculating my every move.

" Tanya." I greeted the strawberry blonde politely and nodded. She narrowed her golden eyes together like a feline for a second and sighed then. I was fairly sure the story of Lexi had already been told by Eleazar.

" Come on in, Jasper. I'm sure you have a lot of explanation to do."

I sure had.


The sun started to rise again, changing the darkness of the night slowly in a spectacle of orange and yellow and later the sun would hide behind clouds, introducing me into another day without Jasper. The eleventh to be exact. But who was counting?

I was.

The Cullens were.

Damn it! I definitely was!

I grabbed something - the first thing my hand could find - and clenched my fist together, vaguely realizing it was my hair comb, the hard plastic of the comb's handle breaking into what I was sure a thousand pieces.

It felt good to crush a ridiculously small object that couldn't protest or fight back. To use my strength to help cool down some of the anger I had for myself.

Yes, I was angry at myself. So much I wanted to pull out strands of my own hair like a mental patient!

The absence of Jasper continued on and I was slowly starting to realize how terrible the mistake of forcing him to leave was. Jasper had silently - without words - promised me that I would feel better when he left and at first I thought that he was right. It was after all my idea that he would leave and I thought all the sorrows and pain I carried on my shoulders would magically vanish. I was so wrong!

When Jasper was gone, he had left me with a constant uncomfortable and unsafe feeling in my chest, although I knew I had my own ways to fight back if I got attacked. But still, I didn't like those feelings. The first days it was possible for me to ignore it. However it changed. It became stronger and a need was added in my feelings, more like a need to have him around. And that I couldn't ignore.

It felt as if someone had my heart in a tight clenched fist and it made me incredibly angered that I couldn't have things my way.

I never, ever thought I would think such a thought but I wanted Jasper back! I wanted to see his honey blond hair, to see his scars that made him like a real man, to smell his scent that fascinated me and more than anything I wanted to feel his fingers gliding across my arm like a feather.

It wouldn't happen. He was so determinate to fix me and stay away from the Cullens that he surly wouldn't come back soon. The Cullens had tried to call him but always met his voicemail.

Maybe the right person needed to ask him that one important question : " Jasper, please come back to where you belong."

Maybe it was me who needed to find all of her courage, open up her mouth and speak, maybe beg for him to come back.

Maybe I will, if I keep feeling guilty like I had killed him with my bare hands. I couldn't help feeling what I felt. It was killing me. Not only me, the Cullens too. I could see how much they suffered, almost as if someone had died even though Jasper was alive, somewhere hunting a deer and surprisingly seeing them suffer went straight through my heart. Except maybe Rosalie's. She could handle a little pain.

Yes, maybe I would track him down.

" Lexi!" I heard my name being snapped and looked at the source. Edward. I had been so busy thinking about Jasper that my impossibly sharp senses hadn't picked up the sound.

" What?" I asked almost automatically. It has become a standard word for me, something I could reply on every sentence spoken to me. Mostly snarled or hissed.

" Would you like to go hunting with me and Emmett?" He asked again, annoyance slipping into his voice because he had to repeat his question.

Sorry, not everyone is blessed with mind reading, Edward!

The right corner of his mouth twitched, like he wanted to smirk, but no smirk crossed his freakishly handsome face.

Hunting. The word made me itching for some deer.

Ofcourse I would. I always like to go hunting even when I was not thirsty.

" Come on then." He said and sped off down the stairs, through the door and I saw that Emmett was already standing outside, excessively tapping with his foot, waiting impatiently for us.

So I followed Edward and ran after them, briefly catching my own appearance in the full length mirror, my black eyes setting off against my pale skin, nearly consuming my whole irises.

It took me a second or two to catch up with them and when I was running next to Edward - who was considered the fastest of the Cullen family - I decided to run a little faster. Trees flashed passed me, but it wasn't a problem for my eyes. An ant crawled on the trunk of a tree, and a little squirrel dropped his nut of shock because the speed I used caused a wave of air, nearly blowing him from the branch he sat on.

Cute.

I stopped abruptly, suddenly realizing that I had forgotten about Edward and Emmett. They weren't as fast as newborn -me, so I waited calmly - unlike Emmett - until they would meet up with me. It took them five seconds. Long enough.

" There are no humans around. You can go." Edward said after he had scanned the area for any humanly forbidden food. Food I couldn't have. I thanked Edward silently in my mind and took off in the opposite direction as him and Emmett and had excited thoughts about what blood I would have today.

The dead hiker still made me feel guilty and I had silently prayed that wherever he was, he would forgive me. I would always carry that victim with me.

A deer came into my view and I decided not to waste any time by being picky. It was sipping from a small brook, obviously relaxed with its surroundings. If only it knew it was barely 3 meters away from its death. I took one big leap, jumping over the brook with my arms outstretched to grab the deer as soon as I would land on my knees, exactly next to the animal.

I snapped its neck when it was in my tight embrace. Even though it was my food, my mother had given me a whole lecture about not playing with it. So I didn't.

My teeth pierced its neck, although I enjoyed its blood, I would switch without hesitating if human blood was offered to me. It was my instinct and very hard to fight.

When it was empty I moved on to my next pray. A mountain lion who had become curious about the scene that played here and growled loud and fierce at me, thinking I was a nice, little piece of meat.

I gave him a roaring sound as response. The mountain lion crouched slightly, pulling up his furred lip and showing me his teeth as if it could feel pride. I smirked, and took slowly an eager step closer, showing my own teeth. At least mountain lions didn't run shaking like a leaf when they heard a sound.

A growl sounded through the forest, but it didn't came from the animal crouching before me. It slowly backed away and then it turned and ran away into the direction it came from. It was afraid of the animal that had produced that growl, meaning there was an even more dangerous animal living in this forest.

I smiled and ran after it, mountain lion were just too good and I wasn't letting my prey escaping me, my body wasn't just filled with enough blood for that.

Suddenly a strong, nauseating smell filled my nostrils and I stopped because it stunk so much. I had never smelled anything that repulsive. It smelled like wet dog, but much, much more worse. I scrunched my nose in disgust and turned around, searching my way back where I had come from, North.

I could feel vibrations in the earth coming from the paws of that animal as they clawed into the ground. Whatever it was, it was big and heavy and it stunk more than any other animal or human or thing known to my mind.

Heavy paws came to an abrupt end, - like this animal stopped right behind me - and I curiously turned around. My breath stocked into my throat and my body stiffened at what I saw.

Not one but three giant, wild looking wolves stood in front of me. They were wolf but had the size of a horse. I had never seen such thing. This was unbelievable. No wolf in the whole wide world that could be possibly that big. It took my mind a couple of seconds before it realized that they were like me. Supernatural. Not human. Enemy of my race. Werewolves!

They growled dangerously at me, showing me their teeth, which I had to admit looked pretty damn sharp!

I smirked despite the situation : " Sorry, I don't speak stinking mutt!"

Suddenly one of them pounced, leaping at me with more speed than I had expected it would.

A growl ripped through my chest and I concentrated on all three of them. I reached for the darkest part inside my head, searching for my gift. It was pitch-black and ice-cold, it seemed. But that made it easier for me to grasp it. I imagined it would wrench itself a way inside their heads, giving them the most powerful illusions of death.

Nothing happened!

Did this creatures had some sort of heightened immunity against gifts?

Not possible!

I stared harder, painfully aware that in a few nano seconds that one wolf would crash against me!

Again nothing happened!

Beside the murderous feelings I had for them, I felt fear rise in me. They were three of them and only one Lexi whose deadly gift momentarily didn't work against them!

So I sped off, zipping through the forest, desperately trying to get away from them. One of them was really fast and managed to snap at my heels. I gave an angered scream and pushed myself faster. This was surviving at its thoughest and hardest meaning!

The biggest mistake I could make, was glancing at them over my shoulder. I should've known it. Never, ever turn your back at, or in my case your head to, your enemy. I had to do a sharp manoeuvre to the right to avoid tackling a tree and that's when the fastest wolf - whose fur reminded me of a rusty nail - managed to catch up with me.

His front paws pushed against my back and I fell, face towards the ground. I managed to roll over before falling, looking at its face.

They were strong! But newborns were stronger. I grabbed a fistful of skin and fur not caring it was on the wolf its head and that I also had his right ear in my clenched fist - and threw him off me. He whimpered slightly and out of the corner of my eye I could see his one ear wasn't standing straight anymore but was bowed lightly.

I had barely time to stand back up when a second wolf with fur black as coal jumped and bit down hard into the flesh of my hip, shaking me like a tiny ragdoll. From left to right. Like a dog with a new chew toy!

I screeched in pain, my arms locking around his neck and I pulled him off me. Big mistake. I was in even more pain than before! That fucking, damned wolf locked his jaws together and the only thing my ears heard were the sound of my own tearing flesh. The black wolf flew in the air, landing a few feet away with a big piece of my midsection into his mouth. He let it drop, like it tasted disgusting and came towards me again this time his burning eyes aimed at my throat.

I started screaming at the top of my lungs : " Edward! Emmett! Help me!"

I waited a few seconds before screaming again, hoping they would've traveled the distance in less than half a second : " Edward fucking Cullen! Where the fuck are you!"

That's when they appeared crouched, standing before me, growling and hissing, arms outstretched to shield me. They protected me! They actually protected me!

" This is one big misunderstanding, Sam! -" Edward spoke urgently and his eyes were fixed on the black wolf, while Emmett kept a sharp eye on the other two. " - Lexi, didn't know about the Treaty. We are deeply sorry she has come onto your land."

Their land? Had I crossed some invisible line?

Edward's expression darkened a second and his voice had dangerously lowered : " No, Sam! We didn't change her. She was newly created by an unknown vampire and we couldn't kill her, so we took her in, making her one of us!"

Edward's grove lie was incredibly convincing but I had no idea why he lied about my creator. But this whole situation was serious. A matter of life and death, it seemed.

That's when I stepped in, biting my tongue to stop a scream from pain. Because speaking hurt! : " It's true. The Cullens didn't change me. They're good. The only thing I want is to hunt animals too!"

Was my lie as convincible as Edward's? I hoped it was. So many words in a few sentences that were wrong.

The three wolves started to back down, slowly step by step moving away from us. They were leaving! Thank god. Relieve washed over me for a spilt second before disappearing completely.

Edward's face was filled with sorrow for an unknown problem and I wanted to ask what was wrong, only to be stopped by the piercing pain of my midsection.

I looked at the damage that damned wolf had caused and wished I hadn't. I was utterly shocked by what I saw.

There was a hole in my body! A big, gaping hole that hurt like hell! The sight made me sick. I could see two of my ribs, they were white as snow and they shone a little bit. Like a pearl in the moonlight. Fascinating, if not it was my body being torn open.

O god, I didn't feel well. I've never felt more sick or weak in my entire life.

Emmett grabbed the piece that was torn out of my body. It looked like broken marble and I had the childish desire to whine until I got it back.

Edward carefully lifted me in his arms to not hurt me, one arm supporting my back, the other in the back of my knees and I wrapped my arms around his neck, burying my face in his chest and closed my eyes while he ran back home, doing my very best to ignore the pain.

Occasionally a soft whimper would escape me and he always whispered 'sorry'. Emmett worriedly glanced a few times at me.

I was more than relieved to see the Cullen house. Safety was in sight and I let out a relieved, ragged breath. A soon as Edward stepped a foot through the door, Carlisle was at my side, scooping me out of his sons arms and rushing upstairs.

" Lexi!" Esme said shocked and her mouth was slightly agape when she saw the damage the wolves had caused " Is everything alright?!"

I knew she meant it to help me, she cared for me I think, but I couldn't help but roll my eyes and snarl: " Ofcourse not! Three giant wolves almost bit a piece out of my ass! No actually, they did bit a piece out of me!"

I regretted it the moment the words flew out and I stammered a ' I'm so sorry, Esme' and I looked her in the eye and saw she had forgiven me.

I was set on a metal table, similar to the one I destroyed when I had just woken up as a newborn. Emmett had followed, with the piece of my body still in his hands and I was a bit grossed out because he was holding it! So casually nevertheless, as if this was daily routine. But I knew that bacteria didn't have a chance on my wound.

Carlisle's fingers brushed over the open wound so slightly, but it still was unpleasant. No, actually it hurt and I would rather not have his fingers touching the hole but I knew it had to be done.

" Lexi." Carlisle asked and I stared out of the large open window wondering how Jasper would handle me being attacked and not attacking myself. When I didn't respond he grasped my face in his hands, gaining my attention.

" Yes." I whispered and I was vaguely aware that downstairs Edward was telling the whole story to his family. From hunting to the wolf part.

The wolves. Surely I should've known that we weren't the only ones wandering around the earth. They were our supernatural enemy and from what I've seen and felt they could kill us. I seemed to have a powerful, natural hate for them. I despised them, loathed them. I wanted nothing more than to rip them apart. It came so natural and the feeling was mutual, I guessed.

" Everything is going to be okay. This is going to sting a bit." I nodded absently, not really caring that Carlisle had spread his venom on my ripped out piece of skin. It was after all to heal me.

I held back my hiss when the stung came. It was not really that bad, but I wouldn't undergo it every day. I could feel the venom clinging to my skin and re-attaching the piece. It fit perfectly like a piece of a puzzle. Soon the hole was closed and I had a complete midsection again. There were very thin lines visible, a little paler than my skin, and they were the only prove that I got attacked.

Battle scars. Cool, but not really!

I jumped of the table and thanked Carlisle and this time I meant it completely. I had had absolutely no idea that our venom could be used to re-attach ripped of body parts. Good to know. Carlisle was a wonderful doctor.

A wonderful person my mind corrected me.

Now that I was fully healed I was going to have a serious talk with my future seeing coven mate, determined to drag whatever she and Edward had been hiding, out of her.