Twenty Great Ways to pick up Hermione Granger.
Recommended Reading to understand the humour:
Double entendre for Dummies
The Complete reference: Innuendo version 6.9
"Hey… There is a great book show near my apartment. Wanna go there??" (You didn't specify whether you wanted to take her to your apartment or the book show. (Incase she asks about it when you take her to your apartment)).
"You know, being surrounded by books makes people think you're cold in bed." (It works if you're like Ron. She'd want to argue with you.)
Suggest she start the freeing of house elves of the next generation. Take her to ask how they breed.
Hide a "Will you be my date?" in her Divination book and tell her the book predicted it!! (Books are never wrong!!)
Take a club and beat the biggest looking guy near you on his head. (Worked for Ron when he beat the troll). P.S. Make sure the guy doesn't get up soon.
Tell her you're a librarian when she asks what you do for a living. Score!!!!!
Keep your nose in a book, trip over her and kiss her. (If you're a Gryffindor).
Tell her you're unsure about your sexuality and you need her help to figure it out. (for huffle'puff's) (Really the girl has a serious 'helping people' complex)
"Who's the most desperate girl in this class??" (For teachers only)(guess whose hand is up first???)
Call her 'Her-on-my-knee'. (It's always the quiet ones ;-) )
Take her on a tour to search for the library of Alexandria (if you're thinking long term).
Buy her a sweet that is good for teeth. (If you find any buy some for me too)
Stalk her in a library with a grouchy face. (Hint: Viktor Krum)
Convince her that your summer homework is to take her out to wherever you want to take her out. Call it a Human Relationship study. Fascinating really.
Form SPPA – Society for the Protection of Premarital Affairs. Ask her to join it. (Advice for people who had to read the recommended books: Don't tell her the expansion. Make her guess it.)
Wear tights. (Why do you think she went to every quidditch practice?? ;)
Have a discussion about how copulation is viewed in different cultures(For ravenclaws)
"You know, I have always liked the person at the top." (A slytherin dialogue)
"You look great in pink. I bet you would look even better in pink" Yule Ball. Note: There is no mistake in the sentence.
Just grab her by the waist and kiss the bejeebus out of her. (Works for others also. Try at your own risk.)
