I CAN BARELY SAY
Chapter Nine: A Balancing Act
"Glad you're finally pulling your weight around here." Wakka called from the other side of the room, "You were pretty hopeless when you were new."
Sora finished putting the insulation into the wall before turning his head, careful not to shift his weight too much on the ladder, "Insulation's probably the easiest thing ever. It's just shoving stuff into walls."
"But you just helped me put in that ceiling." He pointed upward, "That wasn't easy."
Sora moved downward, pushing his ladder a few feet before grabbing another piece of insulation from the pile they had made and climbing back up. Starting the next row, he admitted, "Yeah, I guess."
"You've learned a lot even if it doesn't feel like it." Wakka continued to put in the insulation on his side of the room, "Speaking of learning, are you going to apply to get into the university now that you've got your diploma?"
"Yeah. But I'm not gonna worry about it till it gets a little colder and work slows down. Which should be soon, at this rate." Sora shuddered over dramatically before continuing his work.
Wakka laughed loudly, "It's not that bad yet." He finished up his last piece before climbing down.
"It's cold enough that I have to bring a jacket every day. That's bad enough for me." The younger boy finished up and climbed back down the ladder as well, asking, "So what next?"
"We're actually at a pretty good stopping point for the day. We don't really have enough time to get a good start on the walls so I think we should just leave it as it is." He started putting away some of the miscellaneous tools that were laying around on the floor.
Sora's eyes widened excitedly, "Really? We get to go home early?"
"Sure." He continued to pick things up, "As soon as we clean up, you're free to go."
"Alright!" Sora grinned before hurriedly starting to pick up whatever Wakka hadn't gotten to yet. Once the two had collected everything and locked it up for the night, he was on his way out the door, "See you tomorrow, Wakka!"
Giving a brief wave, he repeated, "See ya!"
Once he was officially off the job site, he picked up the pace quite a bit. He was so ready to take a shower and to change into fresh clothes. Most of all, to see Kairi. Midterms had claimed both her and Riku for the past two weeks and he was only just getting opportunities to hang out with them again. He initially offered to help them study since they had done the same for him, but other than flipping flash cards, he wasn't much help.
He was so wrapped up in his own excitement that he nearly forgot to check the mail on his way in. Already halfway up his porch, he muttered, "Oops." to himself before heading back down to the mailbox. Pulling out two bills for the electric and water, he noticed a small envelope underneath. Plucking it out and laying it on top, he saw King Mickey's seal on the back and his heart dropped down into his stomach.
Without opening it, he already knew what it was. King Mickey or Yen Sid wouldn't waste magic to send a letter just to check in on him, even if they may have wanted to. So that left just one possibility.
He was going to have to leave home again. Just as he was finally beginning to settle in.
His throat tight, he laid the two bills down in the mailbox as he started to open the King's letter. He skimmed the details of the letter, eventually coming the information he needed: two days. He had two days before he had to leave and the trip itself would probably take two days as well.
With that, he grabbed the rest of the mail and rushed into the house. Dropping off the other mail on the table by the front door, he went upstairs and dropped the letter on the desk in his room. He normally took the effort to specifically pick out clothes to wear around Kairi, but today, he grabbed whatever the first things were at the top of his dresser. He needed to see her as soon as possible and that was more important than whatever clothes he was wearing.
But once he was in the shower, he had no choice but to slow down because his mind was racing with so many questions. How was Kairi going to react when he told her? Or Riku, or his mom? How was he going to tell Jecht he needed to leave so suddenly? Would he even be able to help people after he hadn't used the keyblade for so long?
Finishing up, he threw on his clothes and a jacket as quickly as possible and headed to Kairi's. He was nervous about her reaction but he couldn't handle waiting, either. He was sure he would drive himself crazy if he tried to hold it in any longer than he already was.
Kairi answered her door fairly quickly, but seemed very flustered when she opened the door. "Sora," She pushed the door a little more towards him, trying to hide the fact she was wearing sweatpants, "You're so early."
"I need to talk to you." He answered as softly as he could. He didn't want to scare her but he didn't want to lessen the seriousness of the situation, either.
"Um, okay." She pushed the door open and he walked into the living room, receiving a glare from Selphie that was harsher than usual.
'Well, she already knows…' Sora avoided her eyes, looking off to the kitchen.
After Kairi had locked her front door, she walked past him and led him into her bedroom. Once they were both inside, Sora shut the door behind him. "What's wrong?" She asked immediately.
"I got…" He started, but faltered. Seeing Kairi's concerned stare, he looked down and finished, "I got a letter from King Mickey."
"O-Oh…" Kairi looked off into a corner of her room, unsure of what to say, "Well, we knew this was coming."
Sora looked back up at her, "But it doesn't make it any easier." He stepped forward and reached out, hugging her tightly, "I'm sorry."
"It's okay." She answered, but her voice squeaked. Hugging him back, she tried her best to fight the tears that were building at the corners of her eyes, "How long will you be gone?"
"Two days. Maybe three." He answered quietly.
Kairi took a breath before answering, "That's not very long. I'll be okay." She sounded like she was trying to convince herself rather than reassure him. With a sniffle, she asked the next question, "When are you leaving?"
Sora sighed against her hair, "The day after tomorrow."
With that, the tears started to fall from her eyes. "N-not much notice, huh?" She tried to make a joke, but her voice was shaky and her emotions were starting overwhelm her.
He hugged her even tighter, repeating , "I'm so sorry, Kairi." His voice was starting to shake, too, and his apology only made her start to cry harder. "I can't do anything this time, but I promise that I'll make sure that you and Riku can come with me later on. Just like I said before." His eyes watered as he finished, his voice barely above a whisper, "I hate that I keep doing this to you."
"I hate it too, but I know that you have to." She wiped her eyes with her sleeve, "It's not like I can just skip classes and work for two days just because I want to go with you." She took a step backward to lock eyes with him, "But you have to understand that I'm scared. The last time you left, I wasn't sure if I was ever going to see you again. And even though I don't want to feel this way, it's hard not to."
"I know." Sora swallowed painfully, his eyes flickering to the floor before looking back up at her, "I'll stay with you tonight and tomorrow as much as humanly possible but once I leave, you're just going to have to trust me." He reached out and cupped both sides of her face, kissing her tenderly before saying loudly, "I love you."
Another tear fell down her face, but she smiled, "I love you too." Gently moving his arms from around her, she sat down on her bed and looked up at him, "It's just hard. I'm gonna miss you. I missed you even just being too busy from these midterms, but I felt okay because I knew you were just down the street if I really needed you."
He kicked off his shoes and sat down next to her, answering, "It was the same for me. I was really excited that I was going to actually get to spend time with you today." Letting out a small laugh, he finished, "And then I found that letter when I got home."
"Well, we're still together right now." She touched his arm before scooting backwards and sprawling out across the bed, "Even if it's not under the best circumstances."
He turned his torso towards her but kept his feet in place, asking, "Are you tired?"
"Yeah." She admitted quietly, "I was gonna take a nap before we went to go see the sunset." She glanced out the window, where she could see the sky was already turning a light pink, "Which I guess it's too late for now."
He lifted his legs onto the bed and rolled over towards her, draping an arm around her as he said, "Go ahead and take one. I'll stay with you till you fall asleep and then I'll go get Riku as well as some dinner to bring back, okay? And we'll have a movie marathon or play board games all night. Whatever you wanna do."
She laughed a little, "That actually sounds really nice. I can't even remember the last time we did something like that."
Sora pulled her a little bit closer to him and grinned, "Then it's settled."
Kairi tilted her head upward to kiss him before resting against his chest. He rubbed her back soothingly and gave the occasional kiss on her forehead or cheek. She would giggle and peek open her eyes to look at him at first, but the sleepier she got she just gave small smiles.
When she hadn't talked or made noise in a while, he whispered, "Kairi?" Only hearing light breathing in response, he did his best to get off of her bed without disturbing her. Quietly putting his shoes back on, he slipped out into the hallway and gently pulled her door closed.
As he exited, he saw Selphie still seated on the couch in the living room. When he made eye contact, she immediately jumped up and started to move towards her room. "Selphie, I need to talk to you too." Sora blocked her path, his voice low and desperate.
"What for?" She snarled back at him loudly.
"Please try to be quiet, Kairi's sleeping." He pleaded, "Let's go outside."
Though she lowered her voice, she wasn't any friendlier, "I'm betting she cried herself to sleep."
"No, she didn't." Sora huffed in response, "She did cry at first, I won't lie about that. But just please talk to me outside."
"Fine." The younger girl, stormed out and he followed after her. Once the front door was shut, she demanded loudly, "Talk."
"You had every right to treat me like you did when I first got home. I hated myself too, more than you'll ever know. But you've been hurting her feelings for these past few weeks even though your problems are with me, and it needs to stop." Sora motioned towards the apartment and stared her down.
She continued to glare and clenched her fists, opening her mouth to retaliate but quickly decided otherwise. Looking off to the side, she gave an annoyed sigh, not able to argue back.
His expression softened, "You don't have to like me and we don't have to pretend like everything's fine between us. But for Kairi's sake, just be civil with me, okay?"
Letting out another sigh, she answered, "I guess I can do that; for her." Crossing her arms, she asked in annoyed tone, "But you're leaving again, right?"
"For two days. And I wanted to talk to you about that, too." He placed his hands in his pockets, beginning to feel the coldness in the air.
She raised an eyebrow, "What for?"
"I want to surprise Kairi." He answered with a small smile, "So Friday afternoon, before she gets back from class, I was hoping you would be there to let me in so I can wait in the living room until she gets home."
Selphie considered the thought for a moment, seeming unsure. But eventually she gave in, "I'll be there."
"Thank you." Sora smiled widely. Pausing for a moment, he asked awkwardly, "Oh. So, um. I was gonna go get Riku and come back with something to eat. I was probably going to go to Kairi's favorite take-out place; do you want anything?"
She blinked a few times, surprised by his offer. Regaining her composure, she began to walk back towards the front door as she answered, "Curry Chicken." With that, she disappeared back inside.
"Uh… Alright." Sora said to himself with a bit of a laugh. He had expected Selphie to fight tooth and nail against him, but the moment he brought up that she had hurt Kairi, she gave up fairly easily. The situation still wasn't perfect by any means, but it was definitely a start and for that he was glad.
Starting down the main road, he realized he was going to have to call his Mom as well as leave a voicemail for Jecht when he got back to Kairi's apartment. He would tell his mom the news later tonight in person, as it wasn't really something that could be said over the phone, but he wanted her to know he was staying out late. He didn't technically need to call, but he knew it made her feel better.
Sora didn't even have to turn down the path to Riku's house, as he spotted him a little ways down the main road. Picking up the pace, he yelled out, "Hey, you're out late!"
Riku looked a bit surprised but gave a small smile when he saw Sora. "I was tutoring today. I figured if I could put up with you, I could put up with anybody." He answered loudly, "And this time, I got paid!"
"Ha ha, very funny." The brunette responded sarcastically as he got closer.
"So what are you going into town for?" Riku asked as he adjusted his backpack to make his shoulders more comfortable.
"To get dinner for me, Kairi, Selphie and potentially you." His face turned serious as he took a step past Riku, "There's something I've gotta talk to you about."
The older boy hummed in interest, responding, "Well, you said you're getting food for Selphie so is everything with her all patched up?"
"More like… temporarily patched up." He answered honestly, starting to walk, "So are you coming with me?"
Riku started to walk as well, answering, "Doesn't seem like you're giving me much of a choice. What do you mean temporarily patched up?"
He glanced back to the older boy momentarily before explaining, "I got her to agree to be civil with me for Kairi. She still doesn't really like me, but whatever. That's good enough for me."
"So how'd you get her to finally talk to you?" Riku questioned curiously.
"I didn't really give her a choice. But she was kinda freshly angry because of what was going on so that made it easier." Sora started to explain, his voice lowering as he continued, "I got a letter from King Mickey today."
"Oh." He saw Riku lower his head, asking, "So Kairi's pretty upset, huh?"
Sora nodded, "Yeah. I cheered her up a bit earlier, but all this is so I can spend more time with her tonight. As well as you, if you can." He waved his hand towards his friend.
He nodded as well, "Yeah, I can stay over for a while."
"Thanks." The brunette gave a small smile, "I'm starting to feel a little bit better about it, the more the day goes on. I was absolutely devastated when I first saw the letter but I guess there's some positives. I get to see everybody at Disney Castle for a little while and hopefully whatever world we need to go to will be one I've been to before so I can check in on some other friends. Plus I got Selphie to agree to help me surprise Kairi when I get back, so I'm pretty happy about that too."
"Figured it wouldn't take you long to become a sappy romantic." Riku teased with a smirk.
Sora rolled his eyes, "She deserves it with what I put her through." Standing up as tall as he could, he reached over to pat Riku's head, saying mockingly, "Someday you'll understand."
"Pfft." He pushed Sora's hand away, laughing, "Right."
"I didn't really have a choice about finding out what Kairi had been doing relationship wise for the past few years, but I haven't asked you yet." The younger boy crossed his arms and looked at him expectantly, "So?"
Riku looked off sheepishly, "I've just been a few dates here and there. Nothing serious."
Sora yawned mockingly, putting a hand up to his mouth, "How boring. Girls have been drooling over you ever since middle school so I expected more of you."
"Like you can say anything. I'm pretty sure most people would definitely say you're the more boring one." The older boy glanced over to him.
"Touché." He smiled, "But I wouldn't change anything."
"Good. Cuz if you said otherwise, I would probably would have kicked your ass." He put his hands on his sides.
Sora grinned and nodded, "Understandable."
Riku suddenly stopped and Sora gave him a look before he said, "Isn't the place?"
The brunette looked upward and read the sign before rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly, "Yeah, it is."
The two walked through the door and Riku took a seat off to the side while Sora went up to the counter and put in the order. Walking back to the table, he commented loudly, "I guess we should have called from your house so that way it would have already been ready when we got here." He sat down at the table.
Riku shrugged, "It'll be fresher by the time we get it back to Kairi and Selphie, though."
"I guess so." The younger boy stared out the window, "I can't believe I'm leaving home again already. Everything was starting to feel normal."
"Things haven't been normal for the three of us in a while and I don't think it ever will be." Riku gave a small smile, "But that doesn't have to be a bad thing."
Sora smiled back briefly before continuing, "It's just gonna take a while to get used to this back and forth stuff. It was always one or the other before, but now I have to do some sort of crazy balancing act." He propped his elbow on the table and rested his head against his open palm, "And I can't help but wonder how long am I gonna have to do this? Like, am I gonna be married and have kids and still be going off to other worlds randomly on top of trying to have a job?"
"It's hard to say… I would hope the worlds would be completely at peace by then. Either way, there's always the possibility that we may just have to pass the responsibility on to someone younger." Sora quickly turned towards Riku, a look of disbelief on his face. The older boy frowned, "I know you don't want to do it, but you can't do this forever. You just said it yourself."
"I know." He put his hands over his face, sighing. Then hearing the number of their order, he dropped his hands back to his side and smiled as he got up, "Anyway, let's drop talking about the heavy stuff for a while. I just wanna enjoy being with you guys."
He nodded in response, getting up as well, "Agreed."
Grabbing all the bags of food, the two boys made their way back to Kairi's apartment. Selphie opened the door, a lot more chipper due to the fact Riku was around. "Hi, come in!" She greeted, pulling the door open, adding, "Thanks for getting me food, by the way."
Sora gave a small smile, "You're welcome." Looking around the living room and kitchen with no sign of his girlfriend, he asked, "Is Kairi not up yet?"
Selphie shook her head before leading Riku over to the couch and directing him to put the bags of food on the living room table. Sora followed suite, placing the bags he had there before quietly making his way over to Kairi's room.
Pulling open the door slowly and closing the door after he had gotten into the room, he called out softly, "Kairi?" She turned over and smiled at him. "So you are up." He grinned, sitting on the edge of her bed.
"Only for a couple minutes." She sat up and moved closer to him, "I thought I heard you."
"So how come you didn't get up, then?" He questioned with a raised eyebrow.
She smiled, playfully wrapping her arms around his neck, "Maybe I wanted you to come wake me up."
"Your food's gonna get cold if you spend too much time teasing me." He leaned in towards her, staying just a few inches away from her face.
"It can wait for a minute or two." She closed the distance between them.
