Disclaimer: I don't own Final Fantasy VII or the Night Before Christmas
A/N I'm normally
not much of a poet but this was begging me to do it. After all who
doesn't love Hojo death as a present? So please forgive any grammar
errors tonight, I have a tendency not to pay attention to it when
writing poetry. And sorry about the OOCnees I needed a rhyme scheme
and it's kind of amusing. I'm not sure if this is in Iambic
Quadrameter but it fit the rhyme scheme. Oh and I decided not to go with Christmas for the sake of as much canon as possible.
'Twas the night before New Year, when all through the Company
Not a creature was stirring, not even a Tonberry
The materia was hung on the tree with care
In hopes that Bahamut's blessings soon would be there.
Sephiroth was tucked all snug in his bed
As visions of fighting danced through his head
And Commander Tseng in his study, perusing through his journal
Had just settled in for a night's reprival
When from the lab there arose such a racket
That Sephiroth jumping up so quickly nearly forgot his jacket
Away to the lab he ran like a flash
Turning the corner he met Zack Fair in a crash
The pair ran to the elevator's gleaming light
So that they entered the lab and gave Hojo a fright
When what in the world did their eyes see?
But Hojo hanging Jenova's head from his tree
The scientist turned to face the motley crew
His face a putrid chartreuse hue
Hojo's voice rose above the clamor
As he summoned experiments of great repertoire
"On Bunsen, on Burner, on Petri, and Dish,
Come one and come all, stop Sephiroth's wish
To kill me and throw me in the hall,
Now EXTERMINATE, EXTERMINATE, and EXTERMINATE all!"
Such a horrible sight to their eyes did meet
That the duo turned and made a retreat
And to the armory with all haste they flew
Hopefully Sephiroth would think of something to do
The madman laughed and continued his attack
While the SOLDIERs prepared to counter back
Sephiroth looked at the situation
And decided he needed a different vocation.
Then the evil creatures, with Hojo in tow
Neared the swordsmen to try and defeat their hated foe
"One moment!" cried Sephiroth, "Just one moment please!"
To which Hojo replied "down on your knees!"
"But don't you see", continued Zack, "This is all wrong"
To which the scientist answered "Yes, but not for long"
"I surrender! I surrender!" they cried most adamant
To which Hojo in a cackle replied "Excellent"
As he scoffed at their words and closed in on his prey
The villain savored his doom and victory that day
"I'll waste no time," Hojo said, "But I'll destroy you with glee
And I will wed Jenova, hurray for me!"
Sephiroth wasn't worried or anxious about his fate
He swung at Hojo and not a minute too late
"For you Hojo, the victory will be quite sour
For you have sealed your own doom within the hour!
For you see I have experience of setting up traps
And along with various things I have kept under wraps
And if that is not enough to destroy your little coup
I can just bring in some executives from Square Enix too
They are more fierce then the greatest evil mind
For they are can instantly obliterate you and all of your kind"
Hojo's head fell with a curious look on his face
And, the look he portrayed was completely in place.
Zack turned to looked at his commander
"Why are we speaking in iambic quadrameter?"
Sephiroth shrugged wiping his sword with distaste
"Why do you think we're here in this place?
The author demanded we go and we fight
So happy holidays to all, and to all a good night!"
A/N Happy Holidays everyone!
