I CAN BARELY SAY

Chapter Fourteen: Pressure

"Can we go upstairs? Your floor is really cold." Sora stood in the front hallway of Riku's house, his arms wrapped around himself.

"I guess. You're lucky I was studying in my room, anyway." Riku walked past him and up the stairs, "If you ask me, it feels refreshing."

Sora shook his head as he followed after him, "Refreshing is the beginning of fall or spring. This is just miserable and it's only going to get worse."

Riku didn't respond, continuing to walk to his room. Once he had sat down at his desk and shuffled around some of his books, he asked, "So what was this really important question that you needed to ask?"

"It feels so much nicer up here." Sora commented happily to himself as he sat on the carpeted floor of Riku's room, leaning his back against the foot of the bed. When Riku's question finally registered in his brain, he answered enthusiastically, "Oh, right. Well, I have plans for all of us to go on a trip to another world right after Kairi's birthday, on the tenth and eleventh. It's not exactly a vacation because there's still work to be done and stuff, but I promised Kairi I would try to include you guys when I could so… please tell me you can come?"

Riku turned around to face him, scratching the back of his neck sheepishly, "You're getting really good at pressuring me to make decisions, lately."

Sora flashed a quick smile, "Sorry. It's just because it's not the same without all three of us. I mean, I know you won't be able to make it every single time I ask this, but this time's for Kairi's birthday, you know. Please try to make it happen." He pleaded, scooting a bit closer to Riku and pouting for an extra dramatic effect.

"I'll do my best." Riku turned his head away, back towards the desk.

Sora laughed excitedly, jumping up to give him a quick hug, "Thank youuu!"

Riku returned the hug awkwardly until Sora plopped back down on the floor. "Have you even asked Kairi yet?" He asked, absent-mindedly flipping through a few pages of the book closest to him.

The younger boy smiled, "Yeah, I told her first thing this morning. She was so excited she jumped out of bed and was literally going to run to her work to ask her manager about it." He finished with a laugh.

"Oh, did you just go to her apartment last night instead of going home?" Riku glanced back to him curiously.

Sora looked utterly confused and his cheeks turned a slight shade of pink, "No, I just went over as soon as I woke up this morning… Why would you think that?"

"You've been dating for a little over three months," Riku shrugged, "I figured you've probably stayed over there a couple of times by now."

"I—we…" He tried to string a sentence together, but his face was burning and his mind seemed to have stop working completely, "We haven't—"

Riku held out his hand in front of Sora's face, "Stop, before you manage to break your brain. I get it."

"We're just working our way up to it gradually." Sora managed to reply in a squeak, growing more and more embarrassed by the moment.

"You really don't have to defend your sex life or lack thereof, Sora." Riku shook his head, "You and Kairi do whatever's best for you two. I was just guessing, you don't need to be embarrassed."

He folded his arms and let out a small huff of air as he tried to change the subject as rapidly as possible, "So, anyway, I told her to just wait until tomorrow until she has a shift. But the coffee shop's pretty well staffed; I don't think she'll have any issues. So that just leaves you. And Kairi told me to say that you'd better come 'or else'." He made quotation marks with his fingers.

"Well, there's a slight chance I might have to find out what 'or else' actually means, because I can't promise anything." Riku let out a small laugh, "But like I said, I'll try my best." Sora smiled a little from his answer, but an awkward silence came over them before Riku thought of another question. "By the way, how is that whole balancing thing going? I know you've still got to add school into the mix eventually, but is it at least getting somewhat easier?"

"Uh, yeah. I guess so." Sora shifted his arms behind his head, "It's not so bad when I have Donald and Goofy with me. But I've been by myself the past two trips and all I could think about was how much I wanted to come home." He stretched out his legs, "Actually, it's kinda funny you brought up that conversation. Remember how I was talking about how it's going to be when I'm married and have kids and all that?"

Riku squinted, confused, "Yeah, what about it?"

"Well, finding out Ariel and Eric had gotten married and had a baby the next day just really put into perspective how long I'd been gone." Sora looked towards the door, lost in thought as he rambled on, "Like, imagine if we'd all been just a little bit older and I could have come home to you two in that situation. I barely even could consider the thought of coming home to find out Kairi was just in a relationship because it hurt too much so thinking about it like that is just so crazy. Plus I never would have forgiven myself if I missed out on something so important for either of you."

Riku laughed a little, unsure of what to say. "Well, all you missed out on was school, really. I guess prom, if you cared about that. And graduation, but I hope we made up for that."

"Yeah, you did." He smiled appreciatively, but quickly frowned again, "And yeah, I try not to think about prom. That's one of the pictures Kairi has in her wall in her room that I've been too afraid to look at."

Riku snorted. "You shouldn't be too afraid to look because we just went together as friends. I'm pretty sure that picture is of me, Kairi, Noel and Yuel."

"Really?" Sora gave a small grin, feeling a bit stupid but also very relieved.

"Yeah, really." Riku laughed, "I bet none of those pictures are as scary as you think they are."

Sora's shoulders sunk a little, "Kairi gave me a pretty short summary of everything that happened while I was gone, but… I don't really know the details, so I still feel pretty weird about it."

Riku angled himself back towards him, "Think about everything she's said to you. Does it really seem like she has any fond memories of the past three years?"

He blinked, "Well, no, but—"

"Then what are you scared of?" Riku raised an eyebrow.

Sora's mouth hung open, but he didn't have a real answer. "I don't know."

"So, as usual, you're worrying about nothing." Riku reached down to ruffle his hair, earning a small glare from Sora, "Just give her time and she'll tell you."

"I know that." Sora defended, tilting his neck so that his head was out of Riku's reach, "She told me she wants to tell me, but there's never really a good time. Because we're always having so much fun together and she doesn't want to ruin the moment."

"So you didn't even need to talk to me, she already said everything you need to know."

"What?"

Riku let out a loud sigh, "I swear, Sora. You have the thickest skull in the entire universe." He reached down to flick his friend's forehead, "Kairi's happier than she's been since before we left the islands, maybe even happier than she's ever been, and it's because of you."

"Hey! Ouch…" Sora winced and rubbed his temple with two of his fingers. Once he'd gotten over the pain, his lips curled into a small smile, "You think so?"

He threw up his hands, "Everyone thinks so. Selphie wouldn't have given you another chance if she didn't think so, right? And like I said, Kairi basically told you herself."

"You know how I am with Kairi; my brain turns off when I'm around her. It's honestly a miracle that she even likes me." Sora shrugged, glancing off for a moment.

"Yeah, I'm still trying to figure out exactly why she picked you over me." Riku teased, turning back around to his desk so that his back would face Sora.

Sora let out a scoff and stood up, "On that note, I think I'll go home now."

"Good. You're distracting me from studying." Riku still didn't look at Sora, his eyes focused on the book in front of him as he waved his hand towards the door.

Sora rolled his eyes before breaking into a grin, "See ya later, Riku."

"Bye, Sora." He flashed a quick smile in response.

oxoxoxoxoxo

"So, how's it feel to be twenty?" Sora asked smugly as he offered his hand.

"Not much different." Kairi copied his answer in a nonchalant tone as she grabbed his hand, letting him pull her up from her seat.

Riku chimed in from the other side of the table, "Don't worry. You'll feel the fun being replaced by adult responsibilities soon enough."

Kairi rolled her eyes, "Just because you're a better liar than Sora doesn't mean that I'm going to believe you."

"Literally everyone in the universe is a better liar than Sora." Selphie added as she made her way around the table to Kairi's side.

Sora made a face as he grabbed a few of Kairi's presents, including his own, "Is that supposed to be a bad thing?"

"It's not for me." Kairi reached out to grip his hand as he came closer to her, giving it a quick squeeze before leading him and everyone else outside, "Thanks for lunch, everybody." After the chorus of "you're welcome", she looked to Riku and Selphie, "I wish you guys could make it out to dinner."

"Yeah, thanks for leaving me alone." Sora mumbled to Riku and Kairi immediately elbowed him in the side, "Ow!"

It wasn't that Kairi's parents didn't like him, he had just always been extremely awkward around them. More specifically Kairi's dad.

He had never particularly liked Sora, though he never really disliked him either. When Kairi and Sora were just friends, there wasn't much he could say but it seemed like his negative feelings grew once they started dating.

Not that Sora could blame him. He'd never been the smartest or most responsible guy on the island and now he had a pretty unstable future on top of that, even though he was trying his best to make ends meet. Still, it was understandable for Kairi's dad to think he didn't deserve her. Sora still had his moments where he didn't think he did, either.

But there she was.

"You'll be fine." She rolled her eyes, "He's not going to say anything. Not tonight."

"He'll probably be too much of a mess to even worry about you. He's super emotional over Kairi growing up." Selphie added with a laugh.

Sora bit his lip, thinking, "Hm." It definitely would work in her dad didn't pay attention to him, but if he was overly emotional that could also be an easy way to set him off. Feeling a hand on his shoulder, he looked up to see Riku.

"Just remember that if anything goes wrong, you have an advantage over everyone else in this world; you have a way off of it." He winked.

Sora laughed, "Hey, that's true!"

"Ugh. Don't encourage him, Riku." Kairi looked over to him with a pout.

"Sorry." Riku's hand slipped back down to his side and he stopped, "Anyway, it's back to studying for me… I'll call you guys when I'm done with my exam tomorrow so we can finish packing up the gummi ship."

"Good luck!"

"See you tomorrow!"

Kairi turned towards Sora and tilted her head, "Aren't you going home too?"

He raised the arm that had several bags hanging off it, "I figured I would help carry this stuff back to your apartment first."

"Me and Selphie can handle it." She motioned the other girl forward before giving him a stern look, "I wanna make sure you have time to pick out something nice to wear and not leave your room like a bomb went off."

Selphie reached out her hands, wiggling her fingers, "C'mon, give 'em up."

"Fine, you win." He held them out for Kairi and Selphie to take, "So should I meet you at your apartment?"

Kairi shook her head as she took her share of the presents, "No, I know how much you hate walking in the cold. I'll come over here."

He frowned, "I mean, I don't enjoy it but I can handle it—"

"Go get ready." She interrupted him and gave him a light push forward, smiling as she did so.

He stepped forward again to hug her, careful not to squash her presents as he leaned in to kiss her cheek, "See you in a little while."

"6:30 sharp, got it?" She grinned as she pulled away.

Sora started to turn, "7:30, got it."

"Sora!" He heard her whine loudly.

"I'll be ready, don't worry."