Disclaimer: I don't own Final Fantasy VII or Mission: Impossible.
A/N Have you ever found yourself doing something and then get a sudden wave of nostalgia? I'll save that for tomorrow since it's bothering me, after all once a pirate always a pirate they say. Well onto the matter at hand of Hojo, my mom is desperate for Scarlet, so with a grudging heart, Scarlet.
Hojo walked over to the door of his office putting his hand on the handle to open door, feeling it barely move he remembered he locked it. "Peachy, now where did I put my keys." He opened up his pocket and felt around for his keys, only coming across a paper clip, some yarn and a crochet hook. He searched his other pockets and shoes only coming up with thrice laundered napkins hardened in the corners.
"Wonderful," he muttered looking at the door. He stepped back and picked up his foot kicking it as hard as he could. All this did was send Hojo sprawling onto his back in the hallway he stood up grumbling. He glared at the window; maybe if he broke the window then he could open the door from the inside. Clenching his hand into a fist with his thumb on the inside he swung as hard as he could at the pain.
"YEOW!" Hojo leaped back howling, all that had done was broken his thumb. He should have known not to put his thumb on the inside of his fist. He blinked away the tears and looked inside the solid pane of glass. Sitting there on his desk, glinting mockingly in the sunlight, were his keys.
He bashed his head against the wall at his stupidity before pacing up and down the hall. His brain hatched an ingenious plan that he felt like ranting to the empty area, "it's brilliant! First I'll go into the bathroom and climb into the ventilation system. From there I'll crawl through the vents to the one over my office and climb into it from above. Then I'll grab my keys, climb back in the vent and exit in the bathroom. Finally I'll walk back to my office unlock the door and go in! Only a genius of my caliber could come up with this plan!"
With that he took off running down the hall, as the door to his office swung open unnoticed. He ran through the halls to the bathroom and slammed the door shut to the stall under the vent. He put one foot on the toilet bowl and the other on the U-bend as he reached up and pulled off the vent cover. Somehow using his anti-muscular body he climbed into the vent and crawled off in search of the way to his office. It was a straight shot until he reached a fork in the road.
"I think it's right," he turned away to the right down the wrong path. A moment later he looked down the grate seeing a desk and something shiny on it. He pushed off the grate and pulled out the paper clip hooking it onto his belt and tied the string to the place where the hole for the screw in the grate was. With that done he lowered himself into the office, using nothing but the string. However the string couldn't tolerate his weight and it snapped with a twang dropping Hojo like a lead balloon.
He fell from the ceiling and died with something sticking out of his chest. Scarlet raised an eyebrow looking at Hojo's dead body; he'd just fallen on her new stiletto heel dagger. She'd put them on the desk to test out whether the knife would come out, she looked up at Dean. "I like them, now do me a favor and make me three more pairs, we'll have the budget for them now."
